I’m a big fan of recognizing “implicit affirmations,” which come in many forms. Here are a few examples of them:
being hello worthy
being good company
doing good
being thought of
being asked to lunch
positively influencing another
being around others
greeting others
people participating in your outings or events
After these 11 recent implicit affirmations that Bob and I recognized, read nine 50-word stories I wrote about implicit affirmations in general and have happened to me in the past.
Some recent implicit affirmations Bob have recognized and appreciated:
Guy also has a two-seat subscription to the NC Opera, and he invited me to attend Madama Butterfly with him at the end of this month.
When we told our friend Kevin that our holiday card to him had recently been returned, he said, “We should figure out how to cut out the middleman and you can hand-deliver it to me — want to get a cocktail someplace some night?” to which we invited him to stop by after work one day and have a (free) drink and some snacks at our house. And which he promptly did the next day.
Jennifer & Ian, whom we recently met at a neighborhood gathering included us for a brunch in celebration of Jennifer’s birthday.
Dyson & Samantha, whom we met at our neighborhood New Year’s Eve progressive cocktail party, invited us over for happy hour yesterday. Oh! And while we were there, Dyson chose to open a 48-year-old bottle of booze with us, which just happens to be our “house bourbon of choice” — Canadian Club.
A few days ago, Claire, our friend and neighbor was walking by with her dog Fergus, and she texted asking us if we were home and might be available for a little chin-wag. She said Fergus saw our house, where he knows he’ll get a treat, and wanted to stop by. Consider us affirmed by both Claire andFergus.
Kim, our friend and neighbor — and published author who’s starting a blog — asked me if I’d be willing to fill out a questionnaire about readers to potentially post in her blog, and after sending her my responses, she said,”Thanks so much, John! I knew you’d go at this with gusto!”
Jen, our friend and neighbor, texted us: “If you’re walking with us to the Capitol tomorrow to see the monks, we’re leaving our house at 2:30.”
Beth, our friend and neighbor, knows I love bananas, and she recently gave me a bottle of banana simple syrup that she’d made specifically for me.
Erin, our friend and neighbor, texted us amid the recent snow/ice storm: “Hi neighbor! Just wanted to check in during the storm and let you know we’re around if you need anything. Let’s hope the power stays on tonight. ☺️🤞”
Allison & Peter, neighbors of ours who when walked by our house and saw a tarp we had thrown over our car, with trash bins leaning against it to keep it from blowing off, to preclude having to clear it from potential ice and snow, texted us: “Bob and John, Peter and I would like to know if your garbage cans attacked your car before or after happy hour last night?”
Thanks to all of you for affirming us!
Here are nine 50-word stories about how implicit affirmations have manifested themselves for me in the past:
You’re hello worthy
You’re good company
You’ve done good
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when someone walked by me without my seeing them but still said, “Hello, John.” It would’ve been easier for them to just slip by without a greeting, but they made the effort in spite of that, so I must be important to them.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when I asked a colleague if they wanted to take a walk to the nearby café for a cup of coffee and they said yes without an apparent thought of—or as much as a glance at—the cup already on their desk.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when a young colleague asked me if I’d be willing to have lunch with him one day to “pick my brain.” He wanted me to share with him as many things I could think of that have contributed to my apparent financial security.
Thinking of you
Let’s do lunch
Influenced by your writing
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when a colleague messaged me: “John Martin! Was just peeling an orange with the Tupperware tool you gave me 400 years ago and thought about you.” It would have been easier not to message me, and I wouldn’t have had my day made.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when, a few months ago we’d left it at “Let’s get together as soon as it’s safe to,” and that friend followed up now that it is safe with an invitation to lunch. It would have been easier to just let it ride.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation of having read my 50-word stories when a friend direct messaged me during the Q&A part of a virtual work meeting: “Are we on the same meeting? Thanks to you, I’m listening for how moderators tweak the Q&As. Hope you are doing well!
Proximity
Greeting
Participation
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when, in the spreadsheet to reserve a workstation to use in the office now, a colleague chose one next to mine. Only 2 of our 11 floors in the building are being used, and the desks are spaced apart in a checkerboard pattern.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when a colleague working in a different area took time to come to my workstation to say hello. We’d both worked last week and had seen each other then, so it would have been natural to not make the extra effort this time.
I recognized it as an implicit affirmation when a colleague came to my desk last week for a short bourbon outfitters™ gathering at my workstation when he didn’t even want any bourbon. The easier response would have been to pass with a, “No thanks; I’m not going to drink today.”
Do you recognize any recent implicit affirmations in your life?
I’m going to see Madama Butterfly in a couple of weeks, and I’ve been wanting to create one for it, but being lazy and because we can, I thought, “Why don’t I ask AI to draw me one?”
This is what it came up with after a lot of prompt refinement.
Although I have absolutely no drawing talent, I kinda like my own creations better. 😂
The 101st Academy Awards will be hosted on YouTube starting in 2029 through 2033. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has signed an exclusive rights deal with YouTube that includes red carpet coverage, behind-the-scenes content, and access to the Governors Ball.
The coverage of the Academy Awards will be available to YouTube TV subscribers in the US and for free on YouTube for viewers around the world.
Saturday, September 27, 2025 – seeing a Broadway play, our pre-cruise Happy Hour in Chelsea, followed by dinner.
Our Knight in Shining Armor (a.k.a. Bob) ran across the street and picked up breakfast for our Princess (a.k.a. yours truly). Seriously, New York bagels are hard to beat.
Bob had the poppyseed bagel and I had the sesame one, each with plain cream cheese.
Said KISA also got out the iron and ironing board and ironed our shirts for today’s engagements.
Kevin, Eric, Bob, and I left early for today’s matinee and Bob and I got a slice of pizza before the show, as we hadn’t had lunch and it was a 2.5-hour show.
This was such a fun, hilarious, and entertaining show. We’re so glad our friends Kevin and Eric suggested we see it together, because it’s not one that Bob and I would have chosen on our own.
This play was a perfect complement to yesterday’s play, giving us the full range of what’s possible on Broadway.
Yesterday’s show, Art, was a purely dramatic endeavor and today’s was all music, singing, dancing — all the flash and glitter of quintessential Broadway.
Immediately after the play, we took the subway down to Elmo in Chelsea.
BearCruise had a happy hour at Elmo, which had a great turnout, and we met a lot of the guys that will set sail with our group tomorrow.
Regretfully, there were problems with the venue — the said they’d have a separate area for us and didn’t, they said there’d be happy hour drink prices and they weren’t, and then they started a “BearCruise group tab” that they assumed Al (our organizer, cruise director, and friend) was going to pick up. Problem was, Al never authorized such a thing, and he quickly nipped that in the bud, and we headed to another bar down in “the Village.”
and speaking of Barbra and her Brooklyn days, I sat on a stoop in her honor.
Full disclosure: Not her stoop, just a stoop
We had a fun, fun time at The Monster Bar.
For over 50 years, this legendary establishment has provided a fabulous, welcoming establishment for gay New Yorkers, LGBTQ tourists and visitors & yes, even the occasional heterosexual to enjoy the wild laughter song and community of Greenwich Village.
This place did what we affectionally refer to as a “gay pour,” or if you’re from Raleigh and remember “The Borough days,” a “Liz pour,” both of which is to say strong, strong drinks.
After the 1 train uptown to our 42nd Street stop and while walking back to our hotel (totally inebriated), we ran into yarn activists. Bob and I had never heard of such a thing (Kevin & Eric had) and I’m sure I spent at least the first 5 minutes trying to figure out what these people (a guy and a girl) were talking about.
“Yarn activists” are individuals who use yarn-based crafts like yarn bombing and craftivism to express political or social messages, raise awareness, or make a public statement. This can range from guerilla installations on public objects to large-scale protests and symbolic acts like knitting pink hats for Women’s Marches or creating tempests representing climate change. The practice draws on a long history of craft as a form of protest and can be used to comment on issues from environmental concerns to social justice.
And finally, BearCruise thoughtfully provided us with a list of gay bars in mid-town Manhattan not far from our host hotel, and although we didn’t use it, I’m including them here for posterity.
9th Avenue Saloon – 656 Ninth Ave., New York, NY 10036, US. 40 year old gay bar. Open Friday 3 pm – 4 am. Saturday 2 pm – 4 am.
Industry – 355 W 52nd St, New York, NY 10019. Open 5 pm – 4 am. 2 for 1 Happy Hour all drinks 5 – 9 pm.
Flaming Saddles Saloon – 793 Ninth Avenue, near 53rd Street, New York, NY. Open Friday 3 pm – 4 am. Saturday 2 pm – 4 am. CASH ONLY. Dancing cowboys on the bar.
Atlas Social Club – 753 9th Ave, New York, NY, United States, New York. Opens at 4 pm. Vintage sports theme.
DBL (Dive Bar Lounge) – 667 10th Avenue near W47th St
Red Eye Night Club – 355 W 41st Street, NY, NY 10036. Open 2 pm – 4 am. Coffee bar by day, Espresso Martinis at night. Live shows, night club.
Boxers NYC – Hell’s Kitchen – America’s Gay Sports Bar – 735 9th Ave, New York, NY 10019. Opens at 4 pm. Rooftop, basement, terrace spaces.
Hush – 348 West 52ND ST. NYC. Buzzing hot spot catering to gay men with drag shows & live
entertainment, plus classic cocktails. $ 3 off all drinks 5 – 9 pm.
Friday, September 26, 2025 – a day in the city and seeing a Broadway play.
We joined Kevin and Eric for breakfast at a place called Bagel to Sandwich, which Eric had found on an app he uses to find places that have gluten-free options. Bob had 2 eggs and cheese on an onion bagel, and I had 2 eggs and cheese on a croissant and we both had tap water — all for a mere $24.
The 4 of us caught the 3 train uptown to Central Park, where we sat and people-watched for a while.
Neither Bob nor I understood anything about this ad on the train:
Apparently, this is an ad by Sunday for Dogs brand dog food that touts their own brand while simultaneously dissing a competitor’s brand, The Farmers’ Dog.
It reminded me of my work in Red Hat‘s marketing department; we never tried to differentiate our brand by bashing a competitor’s brand — and I liked that.
We walked 6 blocks to the Music Box Theatre, where we had second-row-center orchestra seats to the 7 p.m. performance of the limited run of Art.
The only thing on the closed curtain before the play started was this simple white square in the middle toward the top, which alluded to the (arguably) completely white painting that was the impetus of the events in this story.
I’m really at a loss for words (you know that’s a small miracle) to describe how much I enjoyed this play.
I wasn’t familiar with Bobby Cannavale (although Bob was, of course), but he was a tour de force in this show, second only to James Corden, who was absolutely incredible. And it’s not that NPH wasn’t good, but his character was more quiet and subdued (comparatively). With that said, he was a master at facial expressions required of his character.
After the show, we got hot pastrami sandwiches at the same place we had dinner last night, Berlina Café, across the street from our hotel. I thought of both my mom and dad while there. Mom loved pastrami sandwiches and Dad loved Narragansett beer.
I regularly do the daily AARP and L.A. Times crossword puzzles and whenever I come across a clue like “Dad’s mate,” I always answer with DAD, which of course is wrong, but I enter it at least 3 times like I just can’t believe it’s not the right answer.
Other clues I do the same thing for:
The clue: Papa’s spouse I answer: Papa | Papa | Papa
The clue: Mama’s companion I answer: Mama | Mama | Mama
The clue: Father’s mate I answer: Father | Father | Father
Back in March of 2024, two lots behind our house went on the market, and we nabbed them! And since January of this year, we’ve been planning a 5/31/25 party to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the closing on that property.
At the beginning of May, we got the notion to replace our outdoor standalone deck bar and decided to have one built into the deck instead of getting another standalone one. Roman, our builder, finished it 2 days before the event!
We did a test set-up to think about where to put the alcohol, mixers, sodas, and ice to accommodate the best flow as people got drinks.
Mixers & sodas in the foreground; champagne bar in the background
Alcohol in the front, mixers and soft drinks on the side
Hello bourbon my old friend…
The straight, bourbon, blended, and scotch whiskey offerings
Alcohol set-up test run
The champagne bar
We invited 200 of our closest friends, and 92 of them attended the party. The weather was precarious, with it raining within 30 minutes of the 6 p.m. start time, but then it cleared up and ended up being perfect outdoor party weather the rest of the evening.
We had mostly catered food, all finger foods to preclude needing utensils. We loved “breaking in” our new bar and the flow of people moving about our backyard and into the lots behind it, and in which Bob has done a tremendous amount of work “cleaning up” over the year we’ve owned them.
The food tent in the woods
Festive deck activity
Guests milling about on our back lots
Guests milling about on our back lots
Guests milling about on our back lots
Guests milling about on our back lots
Guests milling about on our back lots
Guests milling about on our back lots
Henry & Suzanne
Bob & John
Bob & Michelle
John & Michelle
Clint & John
Bob, Laurel, & Pat
Laurel & John
Amy, Mary, & Claire
John with Roman, who built our bar, and his wife Kim
In June of 2023, the New York Times introduced a new game called “Connections.” I started playing it in July. Here’s how it works and how the July 9, 2023 puzzle worked out for me to give you a feel for how it works if you’re not familiar with it.
Here are the rules:
Here’s the puzzle ready to start:
Here’s my first guess grouping guess:
Here’s the confirmation that my first grouping guess was correct, along with what their “connection” is, and my guess at a 2nd grouping:
Here’s the confirmation that my second grouping guess was correct, along with what their “connection” is, and my guess at a 3rd grouping:
Here’s the confirmation that my third grouping guess was correct, along with what their “connection” is, and choosing the only remaining items for the 4th grouping:
Here’s the confirmation that the remaining four were correct and what their “connection” is:
And here’s the image they provide to share on social media to let others know how you did without revealing the answers:
Wordle
I have been playing Wordle for a long, long time—since it debuted in October of 2021. Here’s how the July 9, 2023 puzzle worked out for me to give you a feel for how it works if you’re not familiar with it.
Here are the rules:
Here’s the puzzle ready to be started:
Here’s my 1st move on the July 9, 2023 puzzle:
Here’s my 2nd move on the July 9, 2023 puzzle:
Here’s my 3rd move on the July 9, 2023 puzzle:
Here’s my 4th move on the July 9, 2023 puzzle:
Here’s the image it gives you to share on social media without revealing the answer:
I used to attend the opera with my friend Mary Rossini, which started off when she wanted a date but was hard-pressed to find any straight men who enjoyed the opera.
Before we went, I usually created a mind map of the synopsis, which we liked to hold in our laps and do “air checks” when something in the mind map happened on the stage. Sometimes the people around us didn’t appreciate our irreverence.
We also both enjoyed looking for typos—and gasping when we saw one—in the supertitles when the operas aren’t in English, which of course, is most of them. (Although, there are some.)
Here are 4 operas I’ve done mind maps for, and which got progressively more elaborate:
The Merry Widow
Hanna Glawari is a vastly wealthy young widow from the small and poverty-stricken Balkan province of Pontevedro. Ambassador Baron Zeta is anxious that when Hanna re-marries, it is to a Pontevedrian and not a Frenchman, to keep her money in the country and save them all from ruin. The obvious choice is Count Danilo, but there is a problem. They are exes, and he is too proud to marry her for her money.
The Baron’s wife, Valencienne, is having an affair (and with Frenchman Camille, Count de Rosillon, no less!) and Hanna steps in to save the married lady’s reputation. When Hanna claims that it is she who intends to marry Camille, the Pontevedrians despair, but Danilo is forced to recognize the extent of his feelings for her. How will it end? Will they? Won’t they? (Synopsis compliments of The Merry Widow in a nutshell.)
Tosca
The action takes place over fewer than 24 hours. The plot centers around 3 main characters—Rome’s diva Floria Tosca, her lover Mario Cavaradossi (a painter and republican) and the corrupt Chief of Police, Baron Scarpia. Scarpia has long lusted after Tosca, and when he suspects Cavaradossi of assisting an escaped political prisoner, seizes the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. He will manipulate Tosca into revealing the prisoner’s hiding place and Cavaradossi’s involvement, and have her for himself.
When Cavaradossi is captured, Scarpia offers Tosca a horrific bargain—she must give herself to Scarpia, or her lover is killed… what will she choose, and who will survive? (Synopsis compliments of Tosca in a nutshell.)
Rigoletto
The opera is set in the world of the Duke of Mantua – a morally corrupt, womanizing ruler. We begin at the Duke’s party, during which he mentions having his eye on a mystery beauty. His jester Rigoletto – who is despised for being different – mocks all the guests, including a statesman, Monterone, who is furious that his daughter has been molested by the Duke. In retaliation, Monterone places a curse on Rigoletto.
Back at Rigoletto’s safehouse, we meet his beloved daughter Gilda, whom he fiercely protects. Even so, she has managed to fall in love with a mystery man she has seen (who turns out, of course, to be the Duke). Later that night, Gilda is abducted and delivered, much to the Duke’s delight, to his bedroom!
On discovering that the Duke has got his hands on Gilda, Rigoletto is distraught, and approaches the assassin Sparafucile to help him wreak his revenge. However, the plan goes terribly wrong, and we see Monterone’s curse come to pass in a devastating way… (Synopsis compliments of Rigoletto in a nutshell.)
The Barber of Seville
Bribery, deception and disguise. Figaro needs all his wiles to help the Count out-wit Dr Bartolo and ensure true love wins the day.
[It] is a feast of frivolous fun. Enjoy Figaro’s mischievous escapades as he assists Count Almaviva in prizing the beautiful Rosina away from her lecherous guardian, Dr Bartolo. (Synopsis compliments of eno.org.)
