Many of you might remember my Facebook posts during the years I drove to Greenville, NC almost every Saturday to take my mom to play bingo. Like a lot of posts on social media, they were almost exclusively happy times and memories.
Here’s a memory from my sentence-a-day diary that didn’t make it onto Facebook:
November 25, 2017
Saturday: I took mom to bingo, and she pretty much bitched about Brookdale goings-on and her aches and pains from the minute I got there until bingo started.
And now back to some publicly preferred happy memories:
Bob and I are sticklers about sending thank-you notes, as addressed in this set of 3 50-word stories I wrote back in 2021:
Bob’s mother was a writer, and she owned this book:
Copyright 1955, Eaton Paper Corporation
It’s old now, but (most of) its principles still stand. It’s a short 27-page book, and 5 of those pages are about letters that must be written:
Of course, this day and age, this corollary is also true: “For example, it would never do for a young groom to reply on the telephone to a written dinner invitation from his wife’s employer!”
These are the 10 occasions for which a letter is a must — 3 of which are thank-you related:
“Thank you for the gift”
The receipt of even the most trifling gift must be acknowledged by letter.
“Thank you for the weekend”
You must write a “bread-and-butter letter” to your hostess to show that you have appreciated her hospitality.
“Thank you for the favor”
If a friend has shown special courtesy to a member of your family — if she has put herself out in any way to help you, it is imperative that you write a note to show her how grateful you are.
“Mr. and Mrs. accept with thanks”
Since all invitations should be written, it is necessary to acknowledge an invitation with a written reply.
“Bon voyage and best wishes”
To be correct, a hand-written note on your personal visiting card should accompany every gift.
“I enjoyed your letter so much”
Every letter you receive from a friend demands a letter in reply. However, if someone owes you a letter, do not stubbornly refuse to write until it is “your turn.” 😂 Write whenever you feel the urge.
“Best wishes for the holiday”
Your written message, no matter how short, means twice as much, especially at Christmas or other holidays.
“Congratulations and best wishes”
Whether it’s a new baby, a new job, a new husband (😂), or a graduation, a letter is the gracious way of expressing your pleasure.
“We hope you’ll get well soon”
A letter written to a friend who is sick is the most appreciated thoughtfulness.
“My deep-felt sympathy”
When a person is bereaved the simple, sincere expressions of sympathy you write are deeply felt and appreciated.
Here’s Bob and I waiting for our thank-you notes, if you owe us one:
Not that it’s a competition, but our previous attendance record for happy hour in our front yard to cheer on a local run club was 32 people. Today, we had 40!
This week’s signs:
Special guests this week were my sister, Vivian, and her husband, Jeff, who helped us set up.
Every other month or so, Bob & I (in Raleigh) have a Zoom-call happy hour with Bob’s brother Jimmy and his wife Cindy (in Scottsdale), just to catch up.
For it, we each make an “agenda” to keep the meeting moving and to cover everything that’s on our collective minds.
We were texting recently and the subject of scallops came up, and Cindy requested that we add that to the agenda.
We buy Patagonian scallops from Publix whenever they’re BOGO, which means we get one $19.50 bag like this one for free.
In preparation for our call, I did a search on “scallops” in all of our meal menus since January 1, 2024, to refresh our memories of all ways we’ve cooked them — and by “we,” I mean Bob, because I don’t cook. This is what we found:
My dad was “hard of hearing” for about as long as I can remember. Obviously, I could deduce that it was a result of being around loud noise, but I wasn’t ever exactly sure of the diagnosis.
In this medical record it says, “History of noise exposure includes heavy artillery beginning in 1948 and being a loader on 90 mm. guns up until 1953.” This is what one of those “guns” looks like:
And here’s the medical record:
Also for as long as I can remember, my dad had — sometimes debilitating — back pain. Not that there’s anything funny about back pain, but I had to laugh when I saw this note about prescribing PT for him, because 3 times a week I do 8 exercises to strengthen my core and my back, and those 2 exercises are part of my routine!
My dad’s uniform hosted a lot of ribbons and some medals. This is a picture in the latter part of his career, when he was a Sergeant Major.
Looking through the many military records of his, before recycling them, here is a list of the “decorations, medals, badges, commendations, citation, and campaign ribbons” awarded to him:
The Purple Heart is the most distinguished award he earned, and I always thought it was a result of punji sticks, a type of booby-trapped stake, that went into his shin. However, this account that I came across in his medical records paints a different picture:
22 AUG 69. C Company, 1st Battalion, 4th Marine Division. While serving on active duty with C Co. of above named unit at approximately 19:15 hours on 10 AUG 69, 1st Sgt. Martin received fragment wounds to the right leg resulting from an enemy rocket, while in a defensive position. He was treated at 1/4 [illegible acronym] and returned to duty. Condition and prognosis are good. He will receive his first Purple Heart Award.
Recently, I went through several file cabinet folders of paperwork related to my dad, who died 10 years ago this September 11th. The majority of the paperwork comprised health records and records of his military service in the U.S. Marine Corps, and I learned a few things about him in the process.
I knew he entered the military very young, as the family story goes that my grandmother had to sign for him to join because he wasn’t yet 18.
I also knew that he’d never graduated high school, because he earned his USAFI High School GED in 1959, and this document confirms that, where it shows his “non-service education” at the time as 8 years grammar school and 1 year of high school.
The thing I didn’t know about him was where he worked before enlisting in the Marines. This document lists Berkshire Fine Spinning Associates in Fall River, MA as his employer, and the “occupation” field says he was a “spare boy!”
I’d heard of neither that company nor that job position before. Thank the &deity for the internet.
According to Wikipedia: Berkshire Fine Spinning Associates (/ˈbɜːrkʃər/) was an American textile company. In 1955, the company merged with Hathaway Manufacturing Company to form Berkshire Hathaway. Wait! What??? My father worked for the precursor to Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffet‘s company??? 😂
The mill my dad worked in in Fall River was King Philip Mills, an historic cotton mill complex, which was acquired by Berkshire Fine Spinning Associates in 1930.
When I first saw “spare boy,” my thoughts immediately went to bowling, perhaps because as young girl my mother worked as a “pin boy” resetting pins at the bowling alley for, as the family lore goes, “a nickel an hour.”
But alas, in mill work, a “spare boy” was a young male worker who assisted with the operation of machinery in a textile mill, particularly during the early 20th century. They were responsible for ensuring the smooth functioning of the production process in the factory.
For instance, Andrew Stefanik worked as a spare boy in a textile mill in Chicopee, Massachusetts. His tasks likely involved supporting tasks like replacing bobbins and other general duties. This was a common role for young workers, especially “bobbin boys,” who often worked as spare boys.
The term “spare” suggests that they might not have had a specific machine assigned to them but were available to assist wherever needed, filling in for absent workers or helping with tasks that required additional hands. Historically, this could also be referred to as a “spare hand.”
Here’s a picture of a “bobbin boy” working in the mills, one of the jobs my dad presumably did as a spare boy.
Andrew Stefanik, a bobbin boy, works as spare boy, November 1911. Photographer: Hine, Lewis. Original public domain image from Flickr
I was cleaning out some of my dad’s papers — he died coming up on 10 years ago — and I found 8 copies of this recipe, about which Bob quipped, “Looks like he couldn’t give them away.”
We had dinner with our friends Sherry and Fred at Baby Kay’s Cajun Kitchen in Mesa, AZ. John and Sherry met on an ambassadorial trip in October of 2008 to Beijing, Guilin, and Shanghai. We don’t see each other #IRL often, but like this time, it’s always a great visit.
My husband’s brother, Tommy, celebrated his 75th birthday, and we flew in to attend a surprise party for him. His brother Jimmy and his wife Cindy hosted the gala, and I met a nephew for the first time who also flew in for the occasion. Bob made the birthday cake.
We met grade-school friends of my husband for lunch one day. I was Facebook friends with one of them, so it was great to meet her in person. Bob and I enjoyed a bruschetta board, which was fantastic — second only to the company we enjoyed dining al fresco at Postino’s.
(Tommy’s 75th surprise birthday party @ Cindy & Jimmy’s in Scottsdale)
• Catered sandwich platters (roast beef, turkey, & ham on white bread and tuna on croissants)
• Cindy-made salads: one curried sweet potatoes & other veggies, one broccoli & other veggies)
• Bob’s Best. Ever. Banana. Cake. (among other desserts like brownies & lemon bars)
~Tuesday~ I am thrilled that the same team at the same company at which I was working when I retired is welcoming me back with open arms. I’ll be working again on the Content Team at Red Hat in downtown Raleigh.
I’ve always said, “If you have to work, this is the place—and the people with whom—to do it.” Actually, more accurately, that’s the way I’d write it. The way I’d say it is, “If you have to work, this is the place and the people to do it with.” (FWIW, Grammar Girl says it’s okay to end a sentence with a preposition these days.)
My primary responsibilities as a marketing communications specialist will be to:
Partner with multiple marketing teams to craft engaging marketing content
Work with data analysts, SEO, and on-site search experts and UX teams to identify clear goals for marketing content
Connect with content contributors across Red Hat to create consistent experiences for prospects and customers
Apply my unique skills and insights to take on passion projects that make Red Hat better
Be an advocate for the Red Hat brand and voice
Consult with marketing and content team members to monitor content performance and suggest improvements
In other words, it’s the exact same job I had before as a web content editor.
Naturally, the first question everyone I’ve told this to asks is, “Why are you doing this?” There are two main reasons that I’m returning to the workforce:
After fighting for so many years to have the same rights as straight people, Bob and I got married and our healthcare premiums tripled.
As retired, single guys each using the Affordable Care Act (ACA) in 2015, we both enjoyed a tax credit on our monthly premiums that amounted to a 50% discount. So, in total, we paid about $600 a month for healthcare, which while not fantastic, was manageable.
However, if you’re married, the ACA requires you to file jointly for coverage, so we did that for our 2016 coverage, only to find out that our joint retirement income puts us above the level at which we can get any tax credits at all.
In conjunction with that, these headlines loomed last year: ACA premiums in NC to rise sharply in 2016, and that’s exactly what happened to ours. That, together with our loss of tax credits, our monthly premium went from $600 a month to $1800 a month. And that was for 60/40 coverage, which was less coverage than we had last year.
We just weren’t willing to pay that, especially since I knew that Red Hat’s coverage (for employee + spouse) is about $188 a month, and I so don’t mind working there.
My dad’s passing in September has reduced my mother’s income by 75%—so much so that her monthly expenses now significantly exceed her monthly income, and I’d like to be able to help her out a little while I still have some earning power.
She has enough money to cover about another 8 years, withdrawing from savings each month in order to meet her expenses. She’s 84 years old, but her mother lived to be 98 or 99. When she does run out of money, she can go on Medicaid, but that most likely means she’d have to move from the assisted living place she’s currently in, because they don’t take Medicaid there. And it’s a nice place, and she likes it there.
So, working again now, will put me in a better position to help her out down the road, if it comes to that. And in the meantime, I can spot her a few bucks for bingo every now and then.
My official rehire date is Monday, February 15, but I’ve been freelance editing (two days a week, through a contracting company) for this same team at Red Hat since I retired in October of 2014, so I’ve already ramped up my work back to 40 hours a week. But on that Monday, I’ll convert back to a regular employee and my benefits will begin again.
The team has been so affirming in welcoming me back, and I’m forever grateful to my manager for taking me back. Red Hat is such a great company to work for and the Content Team is the best team there to work on!
