Three 50-word stories about unexpected conversational turns.

Nominative mis-assignation	You, too!	Suspect redirect
In a previous house, I had an exterminator who was somewhat socially awkward. The first time he came to service my place, he greeted me at the door by calling me Mr. Halliwell. I said, “It’s Martin.” He said, “I’m so sorry. Sometimes I call the customer their street name.”	Approaching my gym entrance, I start thinking: After scanning your membership badge, the check-in person is going to say, “Enjoy your workout.” Don’t respond, “You, too.” Similarly a friend shared that he has a tendency to say, “You, too!” when the DoorDash deliverer hands him his food and says, “Enjoy!”	This always tickles me when it happens. I’ll ask a gay friend, “How do you know Dave?” for example. And they’ll answer, “Oh, I’ve known Dave for 15 years!” [Full stop.] Okay. Doesn’t answer the question. Often, that’s turned out to mean that they met hooking up for casual sex.