How we decide on whether to purchase a drink package on a cruise

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For us, it’s a 3-factor decision:

  1. How much do we anticipate drinking?
  2. What kind of drink packages are available?
  3. What kind of drinks are included in each package?
How much we will drink

The main factor is how much we anticipate drinking, and because we’re inclined to drink more when we’re traveling with friends or a group, that influences this estimate.

On our last cruise (Ultimate Disco Cruise 2023), we weren’t with people we knew, and our itemized bar bill showed that we drank 66 drinks over the course of 5 days. So, that was an average of just under 7 drinks per day. We got the Premium Drink Package for this trip, which was $109 x 2 (people) x 5 (days) = $1,090. Had we paid individually for those drinks, it would have come out close to $1188. So, it did pay off for us this time.

We will plan for at least 10 drinks per day for our next cruise (Northern Europe: Iceland & Norway to London), because we’ll be with a group of about 8-10 people we know.

What kind of drink packages are available

In general, there are two types of drink packages and they go by various names; examples:

  • Classic and Premium
  • Premium and Premium Plus
  • Premium and Ultimate
  • Unlimited and Premium Plus

And the prices of these packages vary (sometimes wildly, and they’re not cheap) depending on the cruise line. The cost is shown per person, per day—and you have to purchase one per person, because you can’t buy one package and get drinks for your traveling partner with it.

Norwegian Cruise Line drink packages prices for our upcoming cruise in June:


What kind of drinks are available in each package

The drink we drink the most is Canadian Club (which is a fairly low-price whisky), but we do like some of the more top-shelf bourbons and whiskeys, so we see what brands are available in each package. In our NCL example, here’s the list:

We like Bulleit and 1792 (have both at the house), and we love Buffalo Trace, so we’re probably not going to pay an extra $675 (each!) just to drink those higher top-shelf brands like Old Forester, Blanton, Woodford, and 1792 Full Proof.

Doing the math

Once we know—or estimate—all that, it’s just a matter of churning the numbers.

So for our NCL trip, we’d estimate 10 drinks per day, at $18 per drink ($15 + 20% gratuity), for 9 days, and the math plays out like this: spending $1620 ($18 x 90) per person.

That estimate is close enough to the Premium Plus package price ($1656) that I’d be comfortable going for it, but it far exceeds the price of the Unlimited Open Bar package price ($980), which includes at least 3 brands of bourbon/whiskey that we like just fine, so we’d definitely choose that package.

Final note about beverage cost/consumption on cruises

If you don’t have a drink package, you have to pay for soft drinks, juices, bottled waters, all Starbucks & specialty coffee/drinks, and energy drinks. Here are some average/typical prices and you have to add 20% gratuity to each of those costs.

The only free drinks are with meals and those usually include (non-bottled) water, apple juice, orange juice, lemonade, iced tea, and coffee (regular & decaf). Hot water is available and I’m pretty sure free tea bags are available.

This is all just our experience

With all this said, there are many articles debating the value of cruise ship drinking packages, and here are two that represent opposing viewpoints, so you can be more informed when making your decision.

You can use this search to find more articles, for and against, or with help calculating what’s best for your situation.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 8 (Trieste & Venice)

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Tuesday, April 26, 2022

We woke up docked in Trieste, Italy and had breakfast comprising uneaten yogurt from yesterday and some of the fruit that’s always in the suite. The port of Trieste from our balcony: (Hover to enlarge photos.

After disembarking, we hopped on a bus for a 2.5-hour ride to Venice that turned into a 3-hour drive due to a horrific highway traffic jam in which we moved about 500 feet in 30 minutes, at which time the driver took an exit and we continued on some “back roads” for quite a while, only returning to the highway once he was sure we were past the jam.

In Venice, we boarded a water taxi along with a couple of members of our group who are really too old for that sort of transfer and are—for the most part—old, rich, white, people who don’t seem to have any coping skills when they find themselves in situations that don’t measure up to their privileged lives.

For a bit, we were in a wide-open area, but eventually entered the canals where this little idyllic scene took place:

We arrived at our hotel and exited the water taxi with only a couple of close calls of the aforementioned people falling into the water. (Hover over photos for captions.)

The entrance wing of the hotel The hotel restaurant below
The room keys were cool There were a lot of slight ups and downs navigating to our room

After settling in, Bob and I headed out with our friend, Dan, whom we knew from the previous Seth cruise we were on in 2019, to a nearby pharmacy to get COVID-19 tests, for which a negative result was required to re-enter the United States.

We had a heck of a time finding it among the narrow and twisted streets, and by the third time someone responded to my question about where the Farmacia Al Pellegrino was with, “You go to the end there, turn right, then left, and then ask someone else,” we were on to their game.

After walking through many small squares and plazas, and seeing many local shops and restaurants, we finally found it and got tested fairly uneventfully.

We ate some delicious pizza right across the street, since we had to return in 30 minutes to get the results of our tests—all of which came back negative, thankfully. The place was called Farini’s and the pizza was so, so good. I got ham on mine and Bob got pepperoni on his.

Back at our room, Bob watched a couple of episodes of TV shows that he’d already seen, but not in Italian like they were here. I fiddled with the air-conditioning, spending at least 30 minutes and never did figure out how to keep the temperature colder than it was originally set to and keep it running for more than 2 minutes.

Speaking of old, white, privileged people, here are 3 things that drive me nuts about Europe: 1) ice for drinks, 2) bathrooms that are rarely free, and often confounding, 3) irregular access to air-conditioning.

We may have drifted off to sleep for about an hour, and we decided to eat in the hotel restaurant rather than walking around looking for a place—and because it had begun to rain.

We both got La caprese classica, con capperi e olive taggiasche (Classic tomatoes and mozzarella salad, capers, and taggiasca olives) for our salads.

John’s entrée: Spaghetti alle vongole, pomodoro celiegino, & basillico (Clams spaghetti, cherry tomatoes, and basil) and Bob’s entrée: Lasagna classica alla bolognese (Classic lasagna bolognese style)

By then, it was 9:30 and since we had to be up at 4:30, we hit the sack.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 7 (Zadar)

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Monday, April 25, 2022

We awoke docked in Zadar, Croatia, and we had a light breakfast since we’d had such a big one yesterday and we had an early morning, and several-hour, excursion today with an hour-long bus ride from the port to the Krka National Park.

Our ship from the pier, Croatia country sign and flag (click to enlarge photo)

Today’s excursion was a welcome change from touring old cities in that it was mostly walking in a beautiful national park and taking a short boat ride from the park to a nearby city to have lunch.

Our tour guide was Anita, and we just loved her. I loved listening to her narration, as her ESL word choices and turns of phrases made her all the more interesting.

And here’s a “sneak preview” of the beauty of this national park, a video of which I took toward the middle of the excursion:

Krka National Park & Cruise (6.5-hour excursion)

Delight in your inspiring visit to superb Krka National Park, a lush, protected area accented with spectacular waterfalls, and relax on a gentle cruise downstream to the quaint fishing village of Skradin. Krka National Park is a wonderland of dense forests, wild rivers and thundering waterfalls, such as Skradinski Buk, the last of seven waterfalls on the glittering Krka River. Discover that Skradinski Buk isn’t actually a single waterfall but rather a long series of gracefully arcing cascades that spill over countless travertine rock formations. Enjoy a guided tour that includes time to wander on your own, staying alert for sleek otters playing in the water, colorful Cleopatra butterflies flitting about and a variety of indigenous and migratory birds, including the regal golden eagle and lightning-fast peregrine falcon.

Hop on a touring boat and travel downstream to 6,000-year-old scenic Skradin, a beautifully preserved town on an inlet wrapped by hills. Admire gleaming yachts in the expansive marina and savor a casual lunch, bursting with authentic regional flavors. On this exploration of the Krka River’s highlights, Croatia’s bounty, both wild and refined, is sure to dazzle you.

Snakes and flowers found naturally in this park

After trekking through the park for a while, we had an hour of free time in a little resting and shopping (of course!) area, before boarding a boat to take us to the town of Skradin (“an overlooked Croatian gem”), where we were to enjoy lunch.

That ice cream looked cool in person in spite of looking like somewhat of a hot mess here. The stuffed Dalmations were an homage to this region of Croatia, which is known as Dalmatia.

We took the 20-minute boat ride to Skradin, and the water was so beautifully green en route. The name of the restaurant was Restoran “Visovac,” with these nearby businesses.

In the restaurant, we sat at a table for 6, which included, in addition to us, one straight couple and a family of 4 comprising two moms and two sons.

The moms, Lauren and Jen, and their sons, Jack (14) & Nick (9), were from near Boston. Lauren worked for Google Research and Jen had her own leather goods business. The straight couple, whose names escape me, were from just outside Austin. All of these folks were on our cruise but not with Seth’s group.

We (Lauren, Jen, Bob, and I) talked about our getting-married experiences, about when we did it and some of the hoops we had to jump through to make it happen. Since they live in Massachusetts, Lauren and Jen had married way back in 2005 with same-sex marriage legal there way before the Supreme Court ruling on June 26, 2015—the very day on which I asked Bob to marry me.

The straight couple did not mention any hoops that they had to jump through to get married.

Our lunch comprised: A chicken-orzo soup, a slaw salad, pork chop and butter-herbed mashed potatoes for the entrée, and a dessert of chocolate cheesecake.

Tonight was our Farewell Cocktail Reception for Seth’s group.

On our way down to the Splendor Lounge for it, we passed one of the “community puzzles,” which had been completed.

In the lounge, there were a few stories, a little bit of singing (here’s Faith Prince doing a number), and a lot of trivia questions for prizes.

Seth and James gave away prizes for the correct answers to their broadway trivia questions, and all of us got a poster signed by them and the 4 stars with us this week. See it there right by my leg on that table? That’s the last we saw of it, too, realizing we accidentally left it there in the excitement of getting Seth and James to sign the Stars in the House card.

I won the card by answering the trivia question, “What were we celebrating on Stars in the House in the episode in which Andréa Burns joined us?” Answer: The 1-year anniversary of the show.

And Bob won this CD answering, “Who was the understudy for Barbra Streisand in Funny Girl?” Answer: Lainie Kazan. (And when Barbra began doing the show in London, she was replaced on Broadway by Mimi Hines. Hence, the CD.)

Restuarant entrance

We ate at the third of the 3 high-end restaurants tonight. This one’s called Pacific Rim and described as: Prepare to be delighted by a perfect balance of delicious flavors and Zen-like ambiance. Amid dimly lit architectural details and lotus-shaped windows, dine on Pan-Asian creations like Korean barbecue lamb chops and lobster tempura. (click photo to enlarge, hover over photo for description)

Champagne welcome drink Breadsticks with hummus and edamame
John's appetizer: Alaskan king crab summer roll Bob's appetizer: Assorted sushi platter
Bob flexing his chopstick skills Bob and John salads: Pacific Rim house salad
John's entrée: Canadian lobster tempura and Japanese mushrooms Bob's entrée: Aromatic duck (not pictured: green beans & white rice
John's dessert: White chocolate green tea ice cream Bob's dessert: Raspberry ice cream

Tonight was the ship’s final show, which featured Seth and Andréa Burns.

It started off with our group being called up on stage to do our Broadway number, Ya Got Trouble from The Music Man, with Jason Graee performing the lead. (Note: I didn’t participate in the group number this trip.)

Bob and I ended the night with a shopping spree in a shipboard “boutique”—which is a synonym for “overpriced.” We each had $200 worth of shipboard credit that we hadn’t used. We were like those people that get to go on a store shopping spree, just throwing stuff in the cart.

We would never buy anything in a place like this with our own money, and it was actually hard to spend $400 in there. Bob bought a $125 shirt, which is inconceiveable to us in any other life situation.

When we were at about $375, I made a comment that we were going to need an extra suitcase to put all this in, and the cashier got all excited—and into our spree—saying, “I know just the thing, and it’s only $19!” and she ran and got a bag that said Regent on it, to which we said, “WHY NOT???”

Here’s our haul: (click to enlarge; you know you want to see it all up close)

(clockwise) A can of Pringles to help us finish up the bottle of Jim Beam in our cabin 🤣; that $19 Regent bag the clerk grabbed for us; a cap for Bob; a “fancy” t-shirt; that infamous $125 dress shirt; two wallets (totally random); 3 t-shirts advertising Regent and in various sizes to cover our buffet-eating this week; 2 key chains, also advertising Regent; a bag of Kleenex, which Bob likes to keep in pockets and which sometimes end up in the washer and dryer; Cadbury and Dove chocolate, and some pens and pencils, also advertising Regent.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 6 (At sea)

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Sunday, April 24, 2022

We are cruising the Mediterranean Sea with no port call today.

Every day is a breakfast buffet, and here are some of the stations: (click photos to enlarge)

In addition to the buffet each day, some specials are added to the fare.

We were feeling a little festive today, so I treated myself to a mimosa and a donut for breakfast:

And Bob availed himself of caviar and Eggs Florentine:

This cruise included free valet laundry service described as: Complimentary valet laundry service is available, allowing your clothing to be picked up, safely laundered, carefully pressed, folded, then returned to your suite each day. Onboard self-service laundrettes, including irons and ironing boards, are located on select guest decks. Self-service laundry is free of charge, with detergent provided.

Since we had no port call, Bob did ours today in this cute little “laundrette” close to our suite:

There were 3 Seth activities spread across the day:

Broadway bingo (11:00 – noon)

We called out the names of Broadway plays for each letter of the alphabet, and then agreeing on one, placed it randomly on our blank cards.

Seth then asked trivia questions about each of the plays and when we figured out which one it was, we marked it on our card with the game number. We played a few regular bingos, one letter X game, and one 4 corners game.

We didn’t win any, but we had fun and we thought about Pauline while doing it.

Behind the scenes of Stars in the House (2:00 – 4:00 p.m.)

At the beginning of COVID, when everything shut down, including Broadway, Seth and his husband, producer James Wesley, created Stars in the House, a daily live-streamed series to support The Actors Fund and its services.

They’re still doing it and it had raised over $1.51M as of 04/24/22.

Seth and James talked about the fun of creating the shows and showed clips of various episodes of it that they particularly loved or found especially meaningful.

They also talked about the making of the Seasons of Love / Let the Sunshine In Biden presidential inauguration music video they produced by request in the incredibly short time they were given to do it.

Chatterbox with Jason Graae, Faith Prince, Andréa Burns, and Bonnie Milligan (9:00 – 9:30 p.m.)

This was modeled after a weekly talk show called Seth’s Broadway Chatterbox that he did between 2003-2006. It featured sassy Broadway celebrities and happened every Thursday evening @ 6 PM at Don’t Tell Mama (343 West 46th St. in New York City, between 8th & 9th Avenues). Tickets were $10 (which was donated directly to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids) and required a 2 drink minimum.

Tonight, Seth chatted with Faith, Jason, Bonnie, and Andréa about their many trials, tribulations, and successes in becoming Broadway stars.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 5 (Sicily)

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Saturday, April 23, 2022

 

We had an early start this morning with our excursion starting at 8 o’clock, so we ordered breakfast in our cabin instead of going down to the buffet. They took a minute to put a tablecloth on our table before setting everything on it. Too fancy.

Here are 3 shots of the port of Sicily out our veranda doors: (click photos to enlarge)

We were in the Constellation Theater waiting for our group to be called for our excursion and an announcement came on from the captain: “Literally 5 minutes ago, we were informed that Italy is allowing only N95 masks now; please make sure you’re wearing one before disembarking the ship.”

We hadn’t brought N95 masks with us, but thankfully, the cruise line had provided everyone with one upon boarding. We ran back up to our cabin to switch ours out.

Complying with local law:

Our excursion in Sicily:

Highlights of Taormina and Greek Theater (5 hours)

Delve into dazzling Taormina on a guided walking tour of this ancient seaside city. You’ll appreciate a scenic drive along a winding road to Taormina, a town graced with an extraordinary natural setting and an evocative medieval character.

Stroll past the exquisite Palazzo Corvaja, a beautifully ornate building whose construction began in the 15th century and which bears Arabic, Norman and Gothic influences. Gaze at the Greco-Roman theater, an architectural treasure that dates back to the 3rd century BC, a reminder of how long Taormina has been a vibrant city. While roaming the fascinating remains of the auditorium, see that its placement on the slope of a steep promontory offers what some consider to be one of the best views in all of Italy, a breathtaking panorama of Taormina, the glittering Mediterranean and striking Mount Etna in the distance.

You’ll descend to lively Corso Umberto, the town’s main commercial street, and wander its quaint jumble of elegant homes and picture-perfect churches. During free time, you might wander to Taormina’s aromatic Public Garden or browse one-of-a-kind handicrafts in a shop tucked away in an inviting lane, perhaps finding a perfect memento of this resplendent town.

Excursion pictures: (click to enlarge smaller photos)
We headed out bright and early. We always get excited when we see “Bob o’clock” on a digital clock. The one on the bus did not disappoint.

That’s Mt. Etna (crossword puzzle answer extraordinaire) in the bottom right.

That’s our tour guide, Allesandra, in the bottom right.

The Ancient Theater of Taormina

We ate at the second of the 3 high-end restaurants tonight. This one’s called Chartreuse and described as: Classic French fare with a modern twist… and glorious ocean views. Chartreuse evokes the ambiance and romance of a chic, fine-dining restaurant on a Champs-Élysées side street with all of the refinements and exquisite flavors that come with the finest haute cuisine. (click on photos to enlarge)

Charger plate Champagne toast
Baguettes and multigrain bread Salade de Crabe d’Alaska: Alaskan King crabmeat with citrino olive oil wrapped in Daikon radish, chartreuse-infused melon juice (John)
Terrine de Foie Gras au Sauternes: Duck foie gras terrine with Sauternes jelly, toasted brioche, carmelized apricot (Bob) Aperatif toast: Amaretto (John), Chambord (Bob)
Bisque de Homard a l’Argagnac: Lobster bisque with armagnac (John & Bob) Coquilles Saint-Jacques Poêlées et Chorizo: Seared scallops topped with chorizo, butternut squash spaghetti, Champigny sauce (John)
Carré d’Agneau en Persillade: Roasted rack of lamb with rosemary persillade & chickpea fritters (Bob) Dessert “appetizer”
Opéra Maison: Almond-chocolate cake, chocolate cremeux, coffee-chocolate ganache (John) Glace Maison: Homemade chocolate ice cream (Bob)
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Ode to Italia cruise – day 4 (Capri Naples Call cancelled)

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Friday, April 22, 2022

Last night, an announcement was made that we wouldn’t be able to call on Capri because of inclement weather and that we’d be sailing to Naples instead.

Approaching Naples this morning it was announced that there were dangerous swells and high winds that precluded us from being able to take tender boats to shore and that today’s port call was being canceled and we’d forge on with an unplanned day at sea.

The ship’s cruise director and his team scrambled to add extra activities to today’s schedule, and Seth’s team added activities for us today, too.

From 2:00-3:00, we participated in Seth’s recording of his Sirius XM On Broadway radio show, which consisted of him recording short stories between 8 songs about either the song that just finished or the one coming up next. Sometimes he plays a few measures of songs as part of his stories.

He wanted to tell one story about Andrea McArdle and asked who was on his last cruise on which Andrea performed. We raised our hands, and he called Bob up to ask him a question on the air. And Bob answered beautifully. We don’t have Sirius XM, so we’re not sure how it works, but he said it was airing on 04/22 from 3-9 p.m.

On each of Seth’s cruises, he chooses a huge Broadway production number that includes a chorus, and he teaches the parts to everyone in the group who wants to sing it. Then, on the last night of the cruise, one of the Broadway stars sings the song, and everyone joins them on the stage to be in the chorus.

And, in the Before Times, each person in the group could invite 4 people they met during the week on the ship, but who aren’t part of our group, to come to the final show, but they’re not doing that this time due to the COVID “situation.”

So at 3:00, we had our first rehearsal for this cruise’s number, which was (Ya Got) Trouble from The Music Man. One of the stars on this trip, Jason Graae, is going to sing it and our group will be the chorus.

After handing out the music, Seth asked everyone who wanted to sing to move into their desired sections—soprano, alto, tenor, or bass—and he taught each part, after which we rehearsed it all together.

Then, we did it once with Jason singing the lead part:

Such fun!

If you cruise, you’ll know this is very unusual. We called room service to have bourbon and club soda brought to the room and this is what was delivered:

This ship has 3 “high-end” restaurants that you can eat at once during the cruise, and we ate at the first of them tonight. It’s called Prime 7 and described as: From perfectly aged, prime New York strip, porterhouse, and succulent filet mignon to smoked salmon with a phenomenal tamarind-whiskey sauce, Prime 7 elevates classic American fare to new heights.

Our charger plate

Pretzel bread with sea salt butter

Other breads

A spicy tomato soup (compliments of the chef)

Apparently, I got so excited about the bread that I didn’t photograph our “Iceberg wedges”: Crisp applewood smoked bacon, hardboiled egg, fresh chives, buttermilk dressing.

We both had the “Surf & Turf” filet mignon and lobster tail with drawn butter

After our server removed the lobster tail from the shell for us, and with my twice-baked potato

Cherry-topped fudge brownies (literally) on the dessert menu

Caramel Popcorn Sundae (side view)

Caramel Popcorn Sundae (top view)

Bob had chocolate ice cream for dessert, but we apparently failed to photograph that, too. Did it really happen?

The ship’s show tonight in the Constellation Theater was Seth with Jason Graae and Faith Prince.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 3 (Rome)

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Thursday, April 21, 2022

On our way to breakfast, we passed the ship’s “puzzle in progress”—open to anyone walking by who wants to take a minute (or an hour or however long) and contribute to the effort.

In the breakfast buffet area, Bob represented his hometown of Battle Creek by the cereal selections.


We set out for our 6-hour excursion, 2 hours of which were the round-trip from the port, Civitavecchia, to the city of Rome—about 55 miles each way.

Panoramic Rome (6-hour excursion)

Experience Rome’s enthralling historic beauty and architecture. After arriving in the Eternal City, you’ll pass the riverfront Lungotevere, the Vatican Walls, which delineate the Vatican City, and the Ara Pacis, a 1st-century BC altar dedicated to peace. Continue along the Roman Walls and the wonderful Villa Borghese gardens before entering the Old Town near the ancient Porta Pinciana. You’ll drive down lively Via Vittorio Venero, around which much of Fellini’s La Dolce Vita was filmed, and make your way to quintessential landmarks including the white marble Victor Emmanuel II Monument, the Roman Forum, the Colosseum, the Arch of Constantine, the Circus Maximus and Saint Peter’s Basilica.

After concluding your panoramic tour, you’ll alight from your coach and enjoy time on your own starting from the elegant Piazza del Popolo, which is a few minutes’ walk from memorable landmarks such as the Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Steps, as well as some of Italy’s finest shopping avenues, Via del Corso, Via Frattina and Via del Tritone. You’re certain to appreciate how this tour brings you up close to Rome’s marvels from the comfort of your coach.

Excursion pictures:

Returning to the ship, the buffet had Italian food to celebrate our arrival in Italy.

Starting with an amaretto aperitif, I followed it with a slice of grilled eggplant, a slice of grilled zucchini, some shrimp, and some Caprese salad, then, crackers and some cheese, a garlic bread roll, fresh green beans, and an alfredo sauce pasta.

There was an LGBTQIA+ Get Together at 6:30 tonight and has been our experience in the past, none of the gays ever show up to these things. There were very few people and we didn’t mingle with any of them, but instead had a cocktail and ate our 6 pretzels.

There was a couple entertaining in the lounge, Boogie & Kasia, he on the keyboard and she on vocals. Bob and I slow-danced as she sang Could I Have This Dance? and during it, Kasia pointed out that it was a waltz.

They played another waltz after that and she danced the waltz around the dance floor by herself. I got up and did, what I call “chase dancing,” where I dance “to” her instead of “with her,” facing and following her around the dance floor.

There were no Seth shows or activities tonight, so we attended the general entertainment of the ship, which was a show called Bohemian Soul that explored an “eclectic array of music ranging from the ‘Habanera’ from Carmen to hits from Frank Sinatra, Cher, and Lady Goga. It was good enough, but it wasn’t Broadway level. 😃

We stopped back by the Splendor Lounge afterward and Boogie and Kasia were still there, and I actually waltzed with Kasia this time.

I know my legs aren’t supposed to cross like that, but it was great fun and I saved thousands of dollars in Arthur Murry dance lessons.

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Ode to Italia cruise – day 2 (Monte Carlo Corsica)

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Wednesday, April 20, 2022

The port at Monte Carlo was closed due to high winds, so the captain was able to “pivot” the boat and the crew scrambled to pull together an excursion that we could take in Corsica.

We were up at 6:30 this morning and went down to breakfast at about 7:30, where we were some of the first people there and easily grabbed a table by the window.

I had today’s raisin French toast special:

At about 11 a.m., we left the cabin to allow Lester, our suite attendant, to service it, and we walked around the track on deck 12, which is “the sports deck,” which includes:

A miniature golf course

A tennis court

A grassy area for bocce ball or croquet (back) and one for cornhole

And the cruise-ship-cliché shuffleboard

There are several of these “lounge chairs for (at least) two” around the perimeter of the deck

A view of the pool and jacuzzis one deck below

We stopped at the library on the way back to our room, where I found a large-print edition of a The Accidentals, a book that’s actually on my “Want to read” Goodreads list, so I grabbed it.

We hung out on our veranda until lunch up at the Pool Grill restaurant and bar, and witnessed this incident:

Asshole who created the drink drama back at the hotel…

Server stops by his table to tell him his order is almost ready, to which he replied, “Oh you mean the order we put in 30 minutes ago?”

His and his wife’s food orders arrive shortly after that and she complains that her hamburger isn’t hot enough and sends it back. Asshole mansplains to the server taking it back that “they cooked hers first and then put it aside while they cooked mine and hers got cold.”

At this point the manager has come over to their table, and 3 ship personnel are involved in these people’s maddening drama.

Today’s excursion in Corsica:

Ajaccio City Sightseeing Tour (55 minutes)

Welcome to Ajaccio, the cultural and political capital of the island of Corsica—and the city where Napoleon Bonaparte was born. With the privatized open-top bus, which will pick you up at the pier, get a panoramic visit of all the unmissable sites commented on in English. Pass by the old town; Cours Napoleon, the main street Ajaccio; Austerlitz Square with a statue of Napoleon; Casone; English Quarter; Greek Chapel; Sanguinaires roads, a cemetery; and all the wild beaches, La Parata. On the way back to the ship, see the cathedral where Napoleon was baptized and the citadel of Ajaccio.

Excursion pictures:

Seth’s activities

We had a fun dinner tonight with 4 other members of our group‐Susan (from Medford, Massachusetts), Rich & June (from San Francisco), and Marie (from Farmington, Michigan).

Janice said at one point, “Let’s go around and each tell how we ended up on this cruise.” The answers involved a lot of “how I first discovered Seth” and “previous of his cruises I’ve been on.” And, we talked about a million other things during our 1.5 hours together.

I had a mixed green salad, a lobster and avocado appetizer, and a lobster tagliolini pasta dish, followed by a chocolate-caramel-mocha torte dessert, all of which were delicious.

Lobster and avocado appetizer

Dessert

Seth’s show tonight was the ship’s general entertainment. Usually, the ship has its own entertainment for the people who aren’t in his group, but on this cruise, his shows with each of the stars were the ship’s general shows.

Tonight was with Bonnie Milligan, whom we’d never heard of, but who was phenomenal.

Seth is convinced she’s going to win the Tony for her upcoming show Kimberly Akimbo, and if what we heard tonight is any indication, the buzz certainly seems warranted.

A “belter,” she’s definitely got a set of pipes on her. Seth loves belters, and I think he tries to have at least one on each of his cruises. On our last one, to the Southern Caribbean in 2019, he had on Andrea McArdle, a lifelong belter who started her Broadway career as the original (child) Annie in 1977.

Photos weren’t allowed during the show, but as he usually does, Seth let us record one number. I can’t upload the video here, so this is a (washed out) frame of Bonnie singing the song, Beautiful, which she sang in the Broadway musical, Head Over Heels, and which Seth allowed us to record.

Other songs in her repertoire included:

  • Don’ Rain on My Parade (Barbra Streisand)
  • Why Haven’t I Heard From You? (Reba McEntire)
  • I’ll Never Stop Loving You (Doris Day)
  • The Man That Got Away (Judy Garland
  • I Have Confidence (Julie Andrews)
  • My Man (Barbra Streisand)
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Ode to Italia cruise – day 1 (Barcelona)

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Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Map with Barcelona marked as our starting port.

We were up early, enjoyed the complimentary hotel breakfast, and decided to try to fit in a 2-hour city tour before leaving the hotel at noon to head to the pier.

We chose the “HOP ON • HOP OFF” bus tour we’d heard about, and although we wanted to do the “blue route,” it wouldn’t get us back in time, so we chose the “red route” instead.

It was a guided tour (with headphones and the ability to choose from a multitude of languages) in a double-decker bus.” We took a seat on the open, upper deck in spite of it being a little chilly. We didn’t hop off at all, because we didn’t have time to do that. We really just wanted to see some highlights of the city. Here are some of those highlights:

Excited to see our ship in the port while the tour passed the ports

Loved these figures by the entrance

In the theater district

Sitting atop the double-decker bus for the tour

Art and history!

Casa Milà by architect Antoni Gaudí

A “local” supermarket

There were a lot of palm trees, which felt a little out of place, perhaps because the weather wasn’t at all warm

And lots of motorcycles

Cool street lamp posts

More art!

The city center

Back at the hotel to reconnect with our group

Our group left the Intercontinental Barcelona by bus at 12:30 and headed to the pier.

Bob and I were one of only a few people in our group who hadn’t been COVID tested within the last 72 hours, so at the pier, we stepped aside to have that done, for which Regent (our cruise line) picked up the tab. We had a 15-minute wait for our results:

Awaiting our COVID test results at the pier before we can board

And we both passed! A gold sticker for being fully vaccinated and double-boosted, and a blue “wrist ribbon” for negative tests at the pier.

Note for posterity: If you tested positive, you could not board the ship, and unless you had trip insurance or something, you were on your own to figure out quarantining requirements and change your plans to get back home.

We were then able to check in, and since it was only about 2:00, the cabins weren’t yet ready, so we had lunch at the Pool Grill, where we both enjoyed a Reuben. I scraped off my sauerkraut and replaced it with coleslaw. I had some most delicious pistachio, while Bob chose the chocolate, ice cream for dessert.

Just as we finished lunch, they announced that our cabins were ready and we headed up to ours.

Here’s a little tour of cabin 868, our home for the next 7 days:

The king-sized “love nest”

Our welcome bottle of champagne in our sitting area

Our bar and entertainment area, complete with cabinets for actual glassware

Our writing/office area

Our walk-in closet

Said closet filled after Bob unpacked for us

Our bathroom, complete with double sinks, which we don’t even have at home (albeit by choice)

And we have both a shower and a bath tub

And finally our veranda with two chairs and a recliner

We set sail at 5:00, and we went to the Observation Lounge for the departure, where we had a cocktail and some salty snacks—potato chips and nuts.

The Observation Lounge

The piano that turns the Observation Lounge into a piano lounge at night

Sailing away at minutes past our scheduled 5:00 departure time

Our Seth’s Big Fat Broadway Cruise Vacation group met at 5:30 in the Constellation Theater for a welcome gathering at which we had cocktails and appetizers (I loved the bacon-wrapped scallops and the cocktail weenies in crescent rolls), and Seth & James (Seth’s husband) went over the schedule and then introduced each of the 4 Broadway stars who are here with us this week—Jason Graae (gay), Faith Prince, Andréa Burns, and Bonnie Milligan.

Afterward, the group moved to the Compass Rose room, where we’ll sit for dinner as a group each night—if you want to. On 3 nights, Bob and I have dinner reservations in the 3 specialty dining rooms (The Prime 7—a steak house, the Pacific Rim—Pan-Asian dining, and the Chartreuse—French cuisine) during which we’ll have a break from the group dining.

Tonight we were seated at a table-for-four with Marilyn and Connie, who are the mother and “aunt” of Judy Perl, who is the owner of the travel agency Seth uses to manage his Broadway Vacations. Aunt is in quotation marks because Connie isn’t actually a relative, but rather a lifelong friend of the family.

They both must be in their 80s and both were an absolute delight. Judy is obviously proud of her daughter. The conversation flowed pretty easily—at times funny, at times serious, but always interesting.

That’s Judy’s mother Marilyn in front of me and “Aunt” Connie next to Bob

Bob and I had the mahi-mahi, his with mussels and mine with a salad, and we split some mushroom risotto. For dessert, Bob had chocolate ice cream and I had a Kahlúa caramel soufflé.

Back at our cabin, we learned that our port call for tomorrow had been changed from Monte Carlo to Corsica because the Monaco port was closed due to high wind conditions.

We had to request an excursion at this new port, and after filling out our form, I brought it down to the Destinations Services desk.

While I was out, I stopped by the Observation Lounge where it was “Late Night Piano Bar” (10:15-11:30) and a guy was playing that grand piano seen in our departure pictures, but where there were very few people, one of whom was an intoxicated woman who was on the dance floor by herself and acting like some kind of emcee, yelling out to everyone, “Get out here on the dance floor. Give the piano player a hand. Don’t leave me up here hanging. Give the piano player another round of applause.”

“Sit down and shut the f*ck up,” was what I was saying—in my head.

I had one bourbon and soda there and then stopped by the Splendor Lounge where it was “Blame it on the Boogie! (10:30-11:30) and that place was hoppin’ with about 15 people on the tiny dance floor, all seemingly having a very festive time. I just observed for a minute and then returned to our cabin for the night.

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Pre-cruise day in Barcelona

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Monday, April 18, 2022

We’ve never been greeted by anyone with a sign at an airport before, so we were tickled to find this upon our arrival.

When we left, they were still waiting for:

Since it was only 6:45 a.m. when we arrived at the InterContinental Barcelona:

Hotel street view Hotel room Hotel pool

our room wasn’t ready, so we walked around the area for a while before sitting in the lobby later waiting to be able to check in and trying not to fall asleep.

Once in our room, we napped for a couple of hours, and then we met the people in our Seth’s Big Fat Broadway Vacation group in a reception at the hotel bar, where we reconnected with Dan who was also on the 2019 Seth cruise, we met a couple of new people we liked, and we identified a couple of people we already know we want to avoid during this trip.

One totally obnoxious guy was at the bar requesting some drink that the bartenders ended up having to get some books out and scour the internet to figure out how to make. He also stuck his head behind the bar to look at the booze on the shelves from that angle. It literally took them 10 minutes to makes this guy’s drink. He definitely put the “dick” in “being a dick.” Avoid at all costs.

Even way before this trip, Bob and I have always joked when we eat late: “What are we in, Barcelona???”—particularly when it’s approaching 8 p.m. So, it was particularly funny to us when, at around 6:30 p.m., we asked the concierge to direct us to a nearby restaurant that we had chosen for dinner, and he said, “It’s just down the street and around the corner, but it doesn’t open for dinner until 8 o’clock.”

Then he added, pointing to a place right by the hotel, “That place has tapas and cocktails, and the food is very good there. You can go there while you wait for dinner.” It was your classic, hole-in-the-wall-looking place that we probably wouldn’t have looked twice at had it not been recommended—and the food was very good.

We ended up making that our dinner, because to be honest, we still weren’t very hungry after eating our way up the east coast and across the Atlantic and then having both dinner and breakfast on the plane.

The place was called Taps and this is a portion of the English version of their menu:

Bob had some red wine, and I ordered bourbon and soda, which turned out to be scotch (yuck!) and soda, but I drank it anyway. Our dinner:

Spanish (d’oh) olives

 
Bread

 
Patatas Bravas tapa

 
Small sausages tapa
That sauce on it looks a little nasty in this picture, but it was so good!
 
Mushrooms tapa

We walked around a bit after leaving there, looking for a bakery-type place, plenty of which we’d seen during our morning walk, but didn’t find anything that struck us, so we just headed back to the hotel and in for the evening.

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Travel day to Barcelona

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Sunday, April 17, 2022

Being the rule followers that we are, we arrived for check-in 3 hours before takeoff time. There was a small check-in snafu requiring us to step out of line and complete our Spain Travel Health forms that I thought were complete! I’m grateful to have had my laptop available to complete them and that the process went off without a hitch. When the gate agent scanned our QR codes, she exclaimed with a smile, “They’re in there like swimwear!”

Because it’s an international flight on American Airlines, and we have business class seats on an international flight, we have access to the Admiral Club Lounges for this trip.

We spent the 2.5-hour wait for takeoff in the Charlotte Airport club, where it’s “better waiting with complimentary food and drinks.” And no blasting TVs like at the gate.


We departed Charlotte just after 1 p.m. on AA 327 to JFK in first class, because we booked business class seats for this trip and there’s no business class section on the plane for this leg.

We had a 2-hour layover at JFK, which we spent in the “Flagship” Admiral’s Club (a step even further up as if the regular club wasn’t enough).

It had both a food buffet and a wine and champagne “buffet.”

We settled into our luxurious business class seats on American Airlines flight 66 from JFK to Barcelona on a Boeing 737-200ER, which were obscene! I don’t know why we thought we needed to bring earbuds when Bang and Olufsen headphones were supplied as part of the seat. And we had a quilt and a pillow for our fully reclining seats, which reclined all the way to flat as a bed. The 20-inch screen was about 2 feet from us but god forbid we should have to reach for it, when we could just use the remote off to the right. Our “Shinola” bag has a sleep mask, Ted hose socks for circulation, a pen, and a toothbrush and toothpaste.





Once settled into my “pod,” I ordered a cocktail, listened to some instrumental music, and read my current book.

Dinner was served toward the beginning of the trip, and Bob and I had chosen the “Created and inspired by our partnership with the J Beard Foundation and Chef Sarah Grueneberg: Spinach and ricotta rotola pasta served with pomodoro sauce, basil pesto, and pine nuts,” which started with some shrimp cocktail and a salad and was followed by a butterscotch sundae.



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Why befriend me?

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My friend asked this question on her Facebook feed and I thought it was a great one to muse about: “What would be 5-10 things you would tell prospective friends about why they’d want to befriend you?”

I’ve decided to do 6 of them—3 about why they’d want to friend me in real life and 3 about why they’d want to friend me on social media.

In real life

  1. Keeping my word—to you and to myself—is important to me.
     

  2. “Being there”—in whatever way that manifests—is important to me.
     

  3. You might have a laugh or two—or just a good time—hanging out with me.

On Facebook

  1. About 90-95% of my Facebook posts contain original content.
     

  2. I don’t allow any political discourse on my timeline. In the very few instances that I post something political, I remind people of the warning in my “Intro” section: “I delete all comments (positive or negative) on my political posts. If you have something to say about it, copy it to your own timeline and say it there.” And then I follow through with that.
     

  3. It doesn’t happen regularly, but it has happened more than once, that I get this kind of feedback from a friend, “I just wanted to say I enjoy the things you post on FaceBook. Most of the stuff on social media is just awful, but you create and share interesting things.”

What are some reasons why people would want to befriend you?

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Team pet sharing

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A work colleague of mine started a spreadsheet in which any of our (~60) team members can tell us about their pets. With 28 people sharing so far, it’s 6 pages long and contains 68 pets, which averages out to about 2.42857 pets per person.

Although Bob and I are currently without pets, my heart was so captured by the activity, that I added our beloved Frances and Vincent to it.

Below my entry are a sample of the other entries, which shows the variety of pets entered so far. I have a colleague who has 2 rats, but they aren’t in the spreadsheet yet, and there is also a colleague with a hamster.

Colleague name: John
Pet names: Frances Patricia & Vincent St. Patrick
Species: Dogs   Breed: Cocker Spaniels
Frances Patricia’s nickname: Frances, Sweet Girl
Vincent St. Patrick’s nicknames: Vincent, Sweet Boy, & Master Vincent McVeigh, Esq. (on Bascha’s holiday greeting card envelope to us)
Fun fact: I “married into” a family whose members included Frances and Vincent, whose names at the time Bob adopted them (way pre-me) were Lady and Duke respectively. Bob insists on human names for his dogs; witness Marty Patrick, Loretta Ruth, and Benjamin Robert (“Ben”) prior to Frances & Vincent. Frances’ claim to fame was staring at you until you looked away and licking your face until you stopped her. (She also had a propensity for eating Vaseline and unrolling toilet paper.) Vincent’s claim to fame was cooling himself on AC floor vents in the summertime and an absolute-zero concept of personal space, including settling on my pillow with his entire hind end on my head.

Colleague name: Hanna   Pet name: Millie
Species: Bunny   Breed: Holland lop
Nicknames: Leaf, Mimi, Mimileaf, Moopita, Mimita, Mimicow
Fun fact: Has a bunny-shaped mark below her nose. When she eats or moves her nose, it looks like the bunny is running.
Colleague name: Bascha   Pet name: Khaaaaan!
Species: Cat   Breed: Tabby/Bengal
Nicknames: Mr. Uncle Baby Khaaaaan! (this nick has to be SUNG), Khanlypants, The Poop Sheriff, Mr. Brudder Man, Baby Boy, FatBoy, Chonkers, Daddy’s Boy (Gross, I know. Sorry!)
Fun fact: Completely obsessed with my partner. A lover, not a fighter. Diabetic w/IBD and the most expensive free cat ever.
Colleague name: Jaleh   Pet name: Peanut
Species: Dog   Breed: Goldendoodle
Nicknames: Bear, Bobeanut, Nugget
Fun fact: When I pick her up, she puts one paw on my cheek, and I melt into a puddle. And she watches TV. Like actually watches and reacts to it.
Colleague name: Théo   Pet name: Timmy
Species: Garden snail   Nicknames: Tiny Tim
Fun fact: About as big as a kidney bean and definitely has a birth defect.
Colleague name: Laura   Pet name: Joe
Species: Guinea pig   Nicknames: Tiny Tim
Fun fact: Joe was returned to PetSmart by a family that didn’t recognize his cuteness (WTH?) and was adopted on the cheap by my boyfriend. After a couple of years, my boyfriend’s kids stopped playing with him so Joe was destined to be “re-homed” potentially back to PetSmart. I intervened, fostered him, invested in major Guinea pig real estate, and kept him for myself. Joe travels with me in a plastic storage crate and is a wonderful driving companion.

Please share about your pet(s) if you’re so inclined!

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“That’s a good question!”

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Inundated by Zoom, WebEx, or BlueJeans virtual meetings, especially work-related ones that allow for Q&A time at some point—and that’s most meetings for me—I’ve been thinking a lot about this phrase: “That’s a good question!”

I might go so far as to say more often than not, the person responding to a question will say this at the beginning of their answer, and I immediately think:

  1. Is it really?
  2. How so?
  3. What exactly about it makes it good? ‘Cause I don’t see it.

Or are you just buying time while you decide:

  1. if you know the answer, or
  2. how to answer if you do, or
  3. to say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you.”

My personal feeling is twofold about starting the answer with that:

  1. The responder thinks it’s a good question, because it’s not one they’d thought of, or
  2. It’s just a kind of communication tic of the responder and they’ve given no actual thought as to whether it’s a good question or not.

Just to feel included, I shout this
to the screen after each response.

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My anti-bucket list

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The top-3 items in my anti-bucket list are:

  • Drink cognac or tequila

    I first had cognac in the south of France during a 6-week business trip I was on, and even though I desperately wanted to like it because it sounds so sophisticated to say you drink it, I found it deplorable. And tequila is that drink for me—the one of which I drank too much in college one day and barfed my brains out afterward.
     

  • Drive from Miami to Key West

    I’ve done this once—rented the convertible and all. Two things: 1) To me, convertibles and fireplaces are two things that sound good “on paper,” but the reality is your hair gets messed up in the former and somebody has to get up every 10 minutes and tend to the fire for the latter. 2) With regards to this trip specifically, most of the route is 2-lane roads, which when you get behind—let’s just call them life-experienced—Florida drivers there’s little opportunity to pass, and I’m an impatient-AF driver.
     

  • Visit the Grand Canyon

    Here’s the backstory and the little inside joke Bob and I have whenever looking at something a lot of people go on and on about:

What’s something on your “anti-bucket list?”

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3 dream snippets

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Snippets of 3 dreams I had last night: abandoned in a restaurant, a milestone realization, and an abused garbage disposal.

  • Restaurant: We gave “business” last names instead of our own. “Mr. Red Hat, Mr. WakeMed, your table is ready. Please follow me.” The maître-d’-cum-waiter held 3 of those fat potato wedges in no container, just cupped in his bare left hand, and went to a table and plopped them on a diner’s plate. Talking to the diner too long, we started looking around for the empty table that he was going to seat us at, went around a corner to see if it was there, and when we came back, he’d gone back to the welcome podium at the entrance of the restaurant. Awkward.
     

  • Dorm: My dorm room was on the 9th floor, and my room was in the middle of a row of 5 rooms. Returning between classes, I opened the door and my room was completely empty, like I’d moved out. “Am I on the wrong floor? Is it the 9th floor I live on, or the 10th,” I wondered. But my key didn’t work in the middle room on the 10th floor when I tried it. Then I remembered that I’d already graduated and wasn’t in school anymore.
     

  • Kitchen: At the industrial-sized kitchen sink in a commercial establishment, I turned on the garbage disposal, which just hummed like it was trying to chew up food scraps but couldn’t. I removed the splash stopper and saw that it was filled to the point that a piece of black, fish-net-type nylon material peeked out. I pulled out 2 mesh totes and 3 small, blanket-like shawls.
     

Unlikely garbage disposal remnants

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Two reasons to smile

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I got my Invisalign braces off this week—2 months ahead of schedule—and I couldn’t be more thrilled.

At the end of the appointment, the folks at Zaytoun Orthodontics handed me celebration gifts! And they’re some of the last things you’d expect to get from an orthodontist:

Champagne, popcorn, and candy!

True story: Squee! Juicy Fruit gum is one of my all-time favorite guilty pleasures, and I never buy it myself, so it was an extra special treat. Yes, of course it’s gone already because the shot of flavor only lasts for about 5 seconds per stick.

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“Implicit” affirmations

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Some people might call me a Pollyanna, but I’m a little bit obsessed with—and determined to recognize—implicit affirmations in my life.

Two of them happened today, which I might only have noticed because I’m always on the lookout for them:

  1. A colleague whom I’ve worked with for well over a year now, but have never met in person, direct-chatted me at work today and the conversation went like this:

    Her: Are you in The Tower every Friday?

    Me: Every day for the last 2-3 months.

    Her: Do you want to meet in person for coffee or the beverage of your choice in the afternoon on Feb. 11? I will be next door [to the Red Hat building] for a doctor’s appointment.

    Me: Yes! And I will be getting whatever [Sir Walter Raleigh‘s] coffee is that comes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream in it!

    Her: I think they also serve liquor; that’s why I said “a beverage of your choice.”

    Me: You know me too well even though we’ve never met in person.
     

  2. A colleague whom I absolutely adore checking in:

    Her: Good morning! I was thinking about you this morning and wanted to say hi. Two things: Mark your calendar for Saturday, May 7. Unless all COVID hell breaks out again, we’re having a Derby party. Also, I want to host a retirement happy hour for you in October. So plan on that. We can discuss guest list!

    Me: Good morning! Oh, I do like the idea of a vetted retirement happy hour for my retirement!

    Her: You’re not still cruising on May 7, are you?

    Me: No, we’re back on 04/27.

    Her: You and Bob can start planning your Derby attire.

    Me: Perfect. Maybe we’ll pick up some outfits in the Mediterranean.

     

Anytime anyone initiates something with you, it’s an implicit affirmation. Life is good and my heart is full.

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Prompt: Perfectly clear

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Writing prompt: Start with “It’s all perfectly clear now.”

It’s all perfectly clear now that I will have a successful career. With a 41-year career behind me, even if things go south in my remaining 8 months of working, that won’t change.

It’s all perfectly clear now that I will be “lucky in love.” I’ve been married to two smart, ambitious, self-sufficient, loving, companionable, honorable, and easy-to-love people. In each case, we’ve had shared values around work, religion, and finances. During my time here, I’ve been lucky to find not one, but two, people who were emotionally, physically, and financially healthy. And I’m grateful.

It’s all perfectly clear now how I’ll handle the deaths of my parents. It’s a great source of comfort to know that they had a good life, that the end was quick and peaceful for both of them, that I stepped up to the plate when I was needed, and that I won’t spend my entire old age tending to theirs.

What’s perfectly clear to you now?

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Prompt: Strangest habit

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Writing prompt: What is your strangest habit?

I’ve written about this before—it’s probably making an entry on my Google calendar when I change my razor blades. (A quick search shows that I’m probably not even halfway through this one’s life.)

Thinking back on why I started doing this, it was once when I noticed how often other guys seem to change theirs and thought, “I wonder how often I change mine. I know it’s not nearly as often.” So I made an entry in my calendar the next time I did.

In what I was going to call a non sequitur, but is actually tangential, since razors are naturally associated with shaving, I can’t think of shaving without still being flummoxed about this incident 45 years ago:

I’m in a suite in the college dorm, in a bathroom shared among four rooms, and I’ve just lathered up my face to shave. One of the suite residents walks in, looks at me, and says with a critical tone, “That looks like something a cat licked on.”

What’s your strangest habit?

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Prompt: Unrequited love

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Writing prompt: How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?

From reacting this way in high school:

“Let me play this 45 over and over and over and wallow in it: ♬ ‘I can’t live, if living is without you. I can’t live, I can’t give any more.'” ♩

To saying to myself now:

“Pick up the shattered pieces of your life and move on. Their loss.“

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5 30-minute talks without notes

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These are 5 things I could talk about for 30 minutes without notes:

1) Scoring bowling manually.

This one is also on my list of “3 knowledge domains that I have that are now useless.

2) What it’s like being retired even though I’m not.

I was retired for a little over a year 7 years ago, so I have stories about all the things I didn’t get done on my retirement “to-do” list.

3) Implicit affirmations.

I like looking for these, like this one: When someone walked by me without my seeing them but still said, “Hello, John.” It would’ve been easier for them to just slip by without a greeting, but they made the effort in spite of that, so I must be important to them.

4) Writing 3 50-word stories every day for a year.

Since I actually did this in 2021, I could talk for hours about the process of writing them, the engagement with readers about them, and the sense of accomplishment of keeping your word for 365 days.

5) Having a total knee replacement.

It’d be tempting to make this a rosy 30 minutes, but the actual tl;dr is: it hurt way more, and took way longer to recover from, than I wanted it to. But 3 months post-op, I can now say sincerely that it was worth it.

Thanks for reading. What are some of yours?

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We’re ALL growing up fast…

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Where does the time go? According to the Steve Miller Band, “Time keeps on slippin’ slippin’ slippin’… into the future.”

I hear parents comment all the time about how fast their kids are growing up. Newsflash: You’re “growing up fast,” too.

And all of a sudden, you’re on your way to the senior center for your SHIIP appointment to learn all about Medicare—like Bob and I did today—and thinking, “How the hell did this happen?”

And a quick PSA, there are some things you need to do in advance of turning 65 that nobody’s going to tell you about or remind you to do, like:

  • The initial enrollment period (IEP) includes the three months before and after your 65th birthday as well as your birthday month.
  • If you don’t get Part B when you’re first eligible, your monthly premium may go up 10% for each 12-month period you could’ve had Part B, but didn’t sign up. And this is a penalty each year for life. Don’t be that person.

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Why I think Wordle is more luck than skill

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Here are 3 reasons why I think the recently-gone viral game is so popular:

  • It has a broad audience, appealing to both logophiles and logicians alike.
  • It has a super high degree of luck involved.
  • It was designed so that most people get most answers in 6 tries.1

I posit that luck is the biggest factor in solving the puzzle in 3 or fewer attempts. My reasoning:

The more letters you get in the first guess, and the more of those letters that are in the right place, gets you exponentially closer, statistically, to the answer.

Granted, logic can be used in deciding which letters you use in that first word, such as choosing letters that appear, statistically, in more words, letters such as R, S, T, N, L, and E. But, there are so many of those words that’s it’s just going to be luck that the word you settle on has letters that are actually in today’s answer and even luckier if any are going to be in the correct position in today’s answer.

Another huge aspect of luck is when you place a letter that you already know is in the answer, but not in the correct position, in a different position to find its correct position or eliminate another wrong position for it, and you try to choose “the most likely” place it would be, often it’s as likely to be in one place as another, so you have to just chose a place. Luck!

And then even when you’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 words it could be, you’re just lucky if you choose the right one. For example, here’s where I was today going into my 3rd guess (on which I actually got the correct answer):

At this point, I knew I wanted to try a word with “i” since I knew a, e, and o weren’t in it, and “i” is more likely than “u,” so I chose it.

Also, I wanted to try the “m” in a different spot to narrow down where it actually falls in the word. And then I thought, I think “i” appears before “m” more often than it falls after “m” so I went with “im” instead of “mi.” But the fact that I chose to put the “i” in the middle of the word was arbitrary, and as luck would have it, it was correct.

When deciding to put “im” where I did, I then asked what words fit the pattern “- – i m -“? And looking at the letters left on the keyboard that hadn’t been eliminated, I first saw “chimp” as a possibility, and then crimp, blimp, and primp (that ugly chance that “p” was used twice).

The only logic I used in finalizing this decision was that I think “r” is more frequent that “l”, and “p” is in several of the words I’m considering, so I’m going to go with one of the “-rimp” words. Pure luck! It was just as likely to have been chimp, blimp, or primp.

Or, with the letters available going into that third guess, the answer could just as easily have been milky! But, I just happen to see “chimp” first in those available letters, so I worked with those. Luck, I tell you! So much luck!

1According to Josh Wardle who invented the game: ‘Wordle’ Creator Shares Ingenious Tip For Players—Even If He’s Not Very Good At The Game

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Imma be honest about Instagram

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I don’t like Instagram (IG)—never have. There, I said it.

The biggest issue I have with IG is that it’s a platform based on images, so a photo is required with every post. I don’t want to post an image most of the time I want to share something. I’m a writer. My product is text. So almost every time I post there, I have to create an image of that text. And that’s just silly.

I only joined it to host my 50-word stories when I decided, in January of 2021, to write 3 of them around a theme every day in 2021. I’d heard of accounts that had a shtick going viral on there, accounts like:

and I had big dreams of my 50-word stories being my shtick and doing the same thing. Since that didn’t happen, and I’m done writing them, I’m happy to not log in daily there to post them.

It’s no secret that IG is a “young people’s platform,” so my biggest draw to go there now is that it’s where a lot of my work colleagues post stuff.

So, I’ll hang out on my @instatome account, and let my @jm50wordstories account rest.
 

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The dreaded group project

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Not that I’m still traumatized about it, or still in disbelief about it, or can’t let go of it, but on Tuesday, October 10, 2006, I made this entry in my blog:

Today I received an email from my professor with some “advice” on how to handle the fact that my project partner is not participating. Her advice was incredulous to me.

I dropped the course.

What had happened was…

The course was a Communication & Technology course, which I took during my third semester of grad school, and my group comprised one hot dude and myself. (To be clear, that’s two different people.)

At about 2 weeks into our project, we still hadn’t met to get started, and I sent him email initiating a meeting. After 3 such unanswered emails, another week without him in class, and the drop/add deadline for the course now approaching, I emailed the professor explaining what I’d already done and asked her to intervene.

Her response was, “You need to figure out how to get together.”

“Actually, no I don’t.”

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Tray #9!

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I got my Invisalign braces on September 30, 2021, and the estimated time to wear them was 6 months. I remember being glad that they’d probably be off at the end of March, because I didn’t really want to be wearing them on our late-April cruise. No one wants to be slowed down by braces at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Today, I’m putting in “Tray #9,” which is actually my last tray, and which I’ll wear for two weeks. I have an appointment next week to measure me for my retainers. I’m overly excited to be finishing up 2 months ahead of schedule.

2 packages: Upper Tray 9 and Lower Tray 9

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Tuesday’s big cooking gadget night

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Last night, Tupperware’s and Pampered Chef’s ears may have been burning.

Tupperware’s zoodler is quite the gadget—looking like something between a meat grinder and some kind of hand gun.

And Pampered Chef’s corer is usually coring apples in their ads, but Bob uses ours most often on cucumbers to get rid of the seeds, and then often fills the gaping holes with something festive—tonight’s fest being radishes.

These made delicious sides with our stuffed bell peppers entrée.

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Our weekly menus

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We’re both fans of meal planning and realize we’re lucky that both of us like knowing what’s in store for the coming week’s meals.

  • Bob loves to cook but doesn’t like deciding what to cook.
  • Usually on Sunday evening, and usually together, we inventory our fridge and freezer for possible entrées to create a week of menus with.
  • On “Produce Project Wednesdays,” we sometimes put placeholders for the sides until we see what vegetables we get.
  • Having this done by Sunday evening also informs Bob’s grocery shopping, which he likes to do early in the week.
  • We both agree that this is just a guide, and we rearrange or substitute when it feels right.
 Sample weekly menus

A few people who know this about us have shared this cartoon with us, and we know that some people find the idea of doing this suffocating—much like the lady depicted here.

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Produce Project haul

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We’ve been a member of the Produce Project since April 7, 2021, which we joined shortly after having 3 out of 4 bad experiences with the Misfits Market produce service.

We really wanted to like Misfits Market, but 3 out of 4 of our orders got “derailed,” not arriving on the day promised and once not having everything in it that we’d chosen. In their defense, they were very apologetic and gave us refunds, but it’s important to us (for planning purposes) that we get things “on schedule,” which is why we switched to the Produce Project, a local service.

This was last Wednesday’s “haul,” and it’s exciting because it contains some turnips (which I’d been hoping for) along with carrots (which we usually get), and which steamed and mashed together is one of those things that my mom made growing up that I think we were the only two in the family who liked. It was a Thanksgiving staple, and Bob’s going to make some for us some time this week. I don’t think he’s ever had them together, so it’ll be an adventure for him.

organic baby spinach, mango, grape tomatoes, radishes, green peppers, apples, tomato, turnips, asparagus, yellow squash, zucchini, carrots, cucumbers, jalapeno, parsley, green onion, ginger root

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3 unrelatable-to-me things people say

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There are some things that people say that are completely unrelatable to me, and I wonder if people say them just because they’ve heard other people say them for time immemorial.

Here are 3 examples of them:

“I’m too tired to fall asleep.” What does that even mean? I love to sleep. I sometimes feel very tired. But, I’ve never felt anything that I’d even be tempted to describe as “too tired to sleep.” “I can’t sleep.” Yes, that I’ve felt, but it’s almost always because I can’t stop thinking about all kinds of ridiculous things.

“My muscles are in knots.” I’ve had spasms. I’ve had numbness. I’ve had aches. But a knot? Is that even physically possible? And what pushes something beyond a spasm, numbness, or an ache—all the way to a knot?

“My character decided to do something completely unexpected.” Successful writers love to say this in interviews. When I was younger, I wrote 9 chapters of a novel and not once did my characters “do” or “decide” anything that I didn’t write on the page. In fact, I abandoned my novel because I couldn’t figure out a good way to get my protagonist pregnant, and she sure as hell didn’t step up—expectedly or unexpectedly—to show me.

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Cleaning cloths for eyeglasses

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On an episode of A&E’s Hoarders, a man whose interior walls weren’t even accessible due to boxes and just plain crap piled high along them was asked by the intervention team as they held up three stud finders the man wouldn’t let go of, “How many stud finders do you need?” And looking at the team like it was the most absurd question he’d ever heard, he said, “Three.”

Fast forward to the here and now and our house. Feeling like we had a plethora of them, I decided to gather all of the cleaning cloths for eyeglasses that we have in the drawers of our two desks, a kitchen drawer, a bathroom drawer, and on nightstands and end tables in various rooms around the house to see exactly how many we “need.”

Apparently the answer is 19.

With all that said, the one that Bob and I both find the most effective, which is to say it actually cleans the lens as opposed to just smearing whatever’s on them all around, is the Norwex Supersoft Microfiber Optic Scarf.

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8 years of entries from my sentence-a-day diary for this day

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In October of 2014, after learning from a friend and colleague that she kept a “sentence-a-day diary” and loving the idea, I started one myself. These are my one-sentence diary entries for this day for the last 8 years.

January 13

2015
Tuesday: While stopped at the light at Blount Street, waiting to turn right onto Peace Street, a man stepped off the sidewalk and pulled on my back passenger-side door handle, which thankfully was locked; I think he thought I was his Uber ride.

2016
Wednesday: At 9:00 this morning, Bob and I met with Inclusion Studio, the people who are designing our house remodeling and addition, to see the two options they’d drawn up for us, one of which we ended up going with.

2017
Friday: It was Grand Central Station at our house with several contractors here putting final touches on our addition/remodeling, and a Red Hatter came by to look at my skis for a possible purchase.

2018
Saturday: Brett Taylor repaired our roof this morning; we got an estimate this afternoon to remove the tree whose branch fell on it, and it was $10,000; and mom just made a donation at bingo tonight.

2019
Sunday: Mom called me this morning at Vivian’s complaining of kidney pains, and I took her to urgent care where she was prescribed acetaminophen, and at 8:30 at night she called me to take her to Vidant Hospital for a stiff neck and numbness and we spent 5 hours in the emergency room to be told her chest x-ray and CT scan were clear.

2020
Monday: I had my consultation with Dr. Hum, which included an x-ray (where they made me remove my earring and I’ve decided not to put it back in after 30 years), and we scheduled my tooth implant; I did my upper-body strength training at the Red Hat fitness center; and I read a little more of The Once and Future King, before abandoning it and reading 26% of My Year of Rest and Relaxation.

2021
Wednesday: “Bob” from Luxury Bath & Kitchens came by to assess our office windows and we ordered some replacements, including a frosted picture window replacement for the “downstairs” bathroom, and it was “free night” on our weekly dinner menu for which I had cereal and Bob had salmon.

2022
Thursday: Today is 9 months until the day I retire.

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We love a good happy hour

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Bob and I are huge fans of happy hours, and weather permitting, we sit on our front-porch rocking chairs and enjoy one.

We sometimes remark on passersby, and sometimes the remarks are a little snarky. Or, they’re about who doesn’t appear to see the fire hydrant that they’re illegally parked in front of or the “No parking this side” sign that’s literally beside their parked car. It’s no wonder we drink.

In addition to snark, our happy hours always involve what we refer to as “nibblies,” and truth be told, nibblies often turn into dinner. They usually comprise some variety of crackers with some variety of cheese, some veggies to assuage the calorie-count guilt, and something salty, which is a hard requirement for me with a highball.

We usually drink the same highball —a “bourbon and soda”—mine with ginger-flavored seltzer water and Bob’s with unflavored seltzer water, and both with Canadian Club, which is technically a blended whisky and not a bourbon. So sue us.

Some not atypical nibblies

Ritz crackers; carrots, cucumbers, and ranch dip; sweet gherkins and black, green, and Kalamta olives; ham salad and Swiss cheese; and some peanut-butter-stuffed pretzels

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New dictionary words, because language

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I absolutely love Merriam-Webster’s Word Matters podcast. Its most recent episode is about their addition of 455 new words into the dictionary. Notes about a few of them:

fluffernutter
Peter Sokolowski: “Well, there’s no question that the favorite, the darling of this batch is the word ‘fluffernutter,’ and everybody loves that word, and I do too. It’s a fun word to say.”
Emily Brewster: “I did not write this definition and I really love that it specifies the white sandwich bread. If somebody is making you your fluffernutter on whole grain bread, they are doing it wrong.”

whataboutism
Peter Sokolowski: [I] like the term whataboutism that we added to this batch as well because the definition is the act or practice of responding to an accusation of wrongdoing by claiming that an offense committed by another is similar or worse.
Emily Brewster: Yes, and we also entered in British English, they don’t say whataboutism, they say whataboutery.

amirite
Emily Brewster: “Sounds like a phrase; it’s a single word. It’s slang. It’s used in writing for the phrase ‘Am I right?’ to represent or imitate the use of this phrase as a tag question in informal speech. It’s the second time in recent history that we have entered a word that is primarily a written form. I think it was just a few months ago that we entered the spelling of folx, F-O-L-X.”
Peter Sokolowski: “But you can’t tell by just hearing it.”
Emily Brewster: “Nope. Doesn’t work in speech, right? You have to see it for it to really do its job. The word F-O-L-X and F-O-L-K-S sound exactly the same, just as ‘amirite’ and “am I right.” You can say it with a nod that kind of implies that you’re using this single word spelling, but it’s a written form.”

the prepositional use of because
Emily Brewster: “It’s the use of because that you see when someone says, ‘This very technical process works, because technology.’ So traditionally, ‘because’ functions as a conjunction, it joins together phrases or clauses, but this is a new use of because. It’s very informal. It’s very useful. We say in our definition that it is often used in a humorous way to convey vagueness about the exact reasons for something. I like it. Don’t go using it in your term papers.”

This one made me LOL, because I have employed this usage of “because” in one of my exercise check-ins: “I always carry a knife in my pocket; you know, because cheesecake.”

If you love words or if you have an “attitude” about what words should or should not be in the dictionary (e.g., irregardless), you’ll enjoy this 28.5-minute episode—and you’ll learn a few things about how words “make it” into the dictionary. Spoiler alert: It has nothing to do with whether you like them or not. 😂

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God, no! I hate kids!

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I’ve been viewing the PostSecret website for many years now. There’s usually at least one that either “speaks to me,” or is super compelling, or just makes me think about something in a different or interesting way.

The one in this week’s collection that speaks to me, or that I can most relate to, was:

When my students' parents ask me if I have any children of my own, I have to remind myself not to blurt out "God no! I hate kids!"

If you’re not familiar with PostSecret, it’s “an ongoing community mail art project, created by Frank Warren in 2005, in which people mail their secrets anonymously on a homemade postcard. Selected secrets are then posted on the PostSecret website every Sunday, or used for PostSecret’s books or museum exhibits.”

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I’ll get verklempt…

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Our upcoming cruise, still on as of this post, is one of Seth Rudetsky’s Big Fat Broadway Cruises (SRBFBC). “Seth is an American musician, actor, writer, and radio host. He currently is the host of Seth’s Big Fat Broadway and Seth Speaks on Sirius/XM Satellite Radio’s On Broadway. The show focuses on Rudetsky’s knowledge of Broadway theatre history and trivia.”

Bob and I are huge Seth fans, and we went on his Southern Caribbean SRBFBC back in March of 2019. Seth, his husband James, and 4 Broadway stars provide the entertainment each night on the cruise. (It’s nightly entertainment for his group only, separate from the ship’s regular entertainment.)

It’s no surprise that as a “Broadway guy” (and a gay man) Seth is a huge Barbra Streisand fan (as are we), and one of our favorite things he does is called a “deconstruction,” where he analyzes (he’s brilliant musically) a song by playing it and pointing out different musical aspects and quirks and brilliance of various parts of it.

And of all of his deconstructions, the one he does of two of Barbra’s versions of Stoney End is arguably our favorite.

When this upcoming cruise was originally rescheduled to April of 2022, I had posted this on Seth’s Facebook page:

On April 24, it’s one of our days “at sea,” and it’s Barbra’s 80th birthday. It would make my and my husband’s life to see you deconstruct a Barbra song for the entertainment that night! ❤

to which he answered, “Remind me of this as it gets closer to our trip.” I just did. We’ll see if he responds this time.

While we’re waiting, treat yourself to his deconstruction of Stoney End:

Seth deconstructing Barbra’s Stoney End
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Calendaring

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As soon as my indicator came on, I checked my Google calendar for the last time I changed my oil. Don’t you keep that info on your calendar?

I want to make sure it’s been at least 6,000 miles since I last changed it, and it has. And it’s good timing, because I have to get an inspection to renew my registration, and I can get the oil change at the same place and time.

Another, perhaps odd, thing I keep track of on my Google calendar.

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Money well(ness) spent

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It was a big medical expense year for us, one for which we’re glad we have good medical insurance.

I’m guessing most of this was from my total knee replacement surgery, because the only other expenses we had was the abdominoplasty, collagen injections, dermabrasion, and lipoplasty.

Thanks Red Hat and Cigna.

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Hopes & dreams

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A colleague asked in a work chat room: “Since I hate setting resolutions, what are everyone’s personal goals or dreams for this year?”

My response:

  1. Finally take our cruise, which was originally scheduled for April of 2020, then postponed to September of 2021, and is currently still scheduled for April of 2022.

  2. Start blogging regularly again now that I’m not having to come up with a theme for, and write, three 50-word stories a day.

  3. Retire on my birthday in October.

  4. Schedule post-retirement travel using up $3000 worth of airline vouchers we have from canceling and postponing trips over the past 2 years.

Our April cruise on the Seven Seas Splendor

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Was it you?

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In March of 2021, I received a book, The Liar’s Dictionary, in the U.S. mail from a friend who had read it, thought I’d like it, and suggested I pass it along once I was done with it to someone I thought would like it.

Yesterday, I received this book in the mail with a return address of Indoo.com, with no note in the package, and no inscription in the book:

I’d love to know who sent it to me so I can say a proper thank you. In the meantime, it’s next in my queue, and thank you!

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Stock watching

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COVID SALE

Toward the beginning of COVID, on March 16, 2020, the stock market plummeted nearly 3,000 points, and I went shopping for some depressed stock.

A month earlier, IBM stock was trading at $149.92 per share, so on the day of that crash, I snagged 250 shares at $94.51 per share. How can you resist a stock that’s essentially on sale for 37% off?
Purchased for $23,630. Currently worth: $34,887. Up $11,257.

STOCK SPLIT “SALE”

I’d wanted Apple stock for a long time, but I’d always considered it too expensive. So, when its $500-per-share price was set for a 4-for-1 split on August 28, 2020, I bought 25 shares on August 27, 2020, waking up the next day with 100 shares at $125 per share.
Purchased for $12,500. Currently worth: $18,214. Up $5,714.

ROI TO DATE

Even though I am fully aware that it’s nothing but a “paper gain” at this point, it still tickles me to no end to have a 47% gain on the IBM purchase and 45% gain on the AAPL stock.
Total spent: $36,130. Currently worth: $53,101. Up $16,971.

Sure beats the credit union’s tenth-of-a-percent return on savings and 1.25% return on a 5-year CD—and my money’s only been tied up for less than a couple of years.

I’ll enjoy this ride until the next big crash, unless I sell before then. The good news is that the time has passed to make these both long-term gains now, so I can “pull the sales trigger” at any time tax-wise, at least.

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Range of motion (ROM)

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In medical parlance, I’m “PO83,” which stands for “post-op 83,” and which means it’s 83 days after I had my total knee replacement (TKR).

I haven’t been obsessing over what’s referred to as my extension (how flat I can get my knee) and flexion (how much I can bend my knee), which are two very important things to monitor after a TKR.

I was “released” from physical therapy (PT) on December 10, 2021, when I reached a flexion of 120. I’ve worked harder at PT at home than I did when I was going to the Raleigh Orthopaedic Clinic to do it.

According to “the literature,” a completely straight knee joint will measure 0° and a fully bent knee will have a flexion of at least 135°. If you’ve had a knee replacement, your physician may look for a knee extension close to 0° and a flexion in the 125-135° range to consider you fully recovered.

Degrees used doing everyday activities
65° to walk
70° pick an object off the ground
85° to climb up stairs
95° to stand from a sitting position
105° to tie shoelaces
115° (or greater) to squat or sit cross-legged
125°+ covers most activities. However, squatting or sitting on your heel may always prove challenging. (Note: I don’t think I’ve ever sat on my heels in my life, nor do I want to.)

I measured today, and my extension is at 0° and my flexion is at 137°. I’m calling it a win.

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Updating Bob’s website

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I spent a good portion of my day updating Bob’s movies website to add a page for 2022.

For every movie he watches, he notes its title, year released, the day he watched it, the provider he watched it on, a 10-word summary and a 6-word review of it, a rating, and usually a note about it that includes who starred in it.

Here’s his entry of the movie he watched today:

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Contemplating the new year

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It’s the first day of the year in which I’m going to retire.

I’m not retiring in the traditional sense of the word; that is, there won’t be a gold watch or a pension involved. Furthermore, it’s not my first time at the retirement rodeo.

I like to do big things on my birthdays:

  • On my 57th birthday, October 13, 2014, I retired for the first time.
  • On my most recent birthday, October 13, 2021, I bought myself a brand new, $50,000, left knee.
  • And on my 65th birthday, October 13, 2022, I’m going to retire again.

I’m hopeful that retirement will “stick” this time for 3 reasons:

  1. Healthcare. I’m (or will be) 8 years older than the first time I retired, and I’m eligible for Medicare to aid in medical coverage, which was a concern the first time I retired.
  2. Expectations. I have more realistic expectations about being retired since I’m somewhat “experienced” in it. The first time, I made a retirement to-do list a mile long, and the best lesson I learned during the 1 year and 4 months that I was retired was that because you have time to do something doesn’t mean you’re going to want to do it. I think a lot of us convince ourselves we don’t do certain things (like organizing all of those—printed or digital—photos) because we don’t have time to do it, when the reality of it is that even when you do have time, it’s mind-numbingly tedious and probably not something you’re going to want to spend time doing.
  3. Life events. This time, I won’t have a father die a year after I retire and a mother to worry about eventually running out of money, which was one of the reasons I went back to work that first time.

Retirement countdown as of this posting

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2021 books read

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I diverted a lot of my reading time to writing in 2021, writing 3 50-word stories around a theme for every day of the year.

Here are the 20 books I did manage to read in 2021:

Row 1: The Good Sister | The Long Call | Everything I Never Told You | The Souvenir Museum | A Forbidden Rumspringa | Guests on Earth
Row 2: An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good | Liar's Dictionary | Far from the Tree | The House in the Ceruelean Sea | Ten Fun Things to Do Before You Die | Giovanni's Room
Row 3: Running with Sherman | Man's Search for Meaning | I Will Judge You By Your Bookshelf | Honor Kills | The Nature of Fragile Things | Tell the Wolves I'm Home
Row 4: the things we cannot say | Vespertine

Ratings legend:

★★★★★ Completely enthralling, couldn’t put it down. and/or More than just entertaining (e.g., educational, enlightening). Would highly recommend.
★★★★☆ Really great book in all respects with perhaps some minor flaws. Would definitely recommend.
★★★☆☆ Average. An entertaining read but probably forgettable. Might or might not recommend.
★★☆☆☆ Finished, but did not like. Would not recommend.
★☆☆☆☆ Abandoned before finishing, usually because it was poorly written or just uninteresting to me.

Title: The Good Sister          Author: Sally Hepworth
Pages: 313          Duration: 12/19/21 – 12/20/21 (2 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: fiction, thriller, mystery, suspense
10-word summary: Two sisters have a very different recollection of their up-bringing.
6-word review: Who really is the good sister?
Description*: There was only one time that Rose couldn’t stop Fern from doing the wrong thing and that was a mistake that will haunt Rose for the rest of Fern’s life. Later in life, Fern takes on a mission that will shake the foundations of the life she has carefully built for herself and stir up dark secrets from the past, in this quirky, rich and shocking story of what families keep hidden.
Thoughts: This was a compelling story, and one that I wanted to know what happened bad enough that I read it in two days in spite of it not being a short book. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Title: The Long Call          Author: Ann Cleeves
Pages: 542          Duration: 11/16/21 – 11/30/21 (15 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: fiction, mystery, thriller, suspense, LGBT, British literature
10-word summary: Investigating a stabbed dead body on the beach gets complicated.
6-word review: Diverse characters add interest to story.
Description*: In North Devon, Detective Matthew Venn stands outside the church as his estranged father’s funeral takes place. On the day Matthew left the strict evangelical community he grew up in, he lost his family too. Now, as he turns and walks away again, he receives a call from one of his team. A body has been found on the beach nearby: a man with a tattoo of an albatross on his neck, stabbed to death. The case calls Matthew back to the people and places of his past, as deadly secrets hidden at their hearts are revealed, and his new life is forced into a collision course with the world he thought he’d left behind.
Thoughts: I borrowed this book from the library after seeing an ad on my Facebook timeline for the British series by the same name. I liked that the protagonist was a gay man and that his husband was also part of the story. It does a decent job of depicting unaccepting family members of gay people.

Title: Everything I Never Told You          Author: Celeste Ng
Pages: 297          Duration: 11/14/21 – 11/22/21 (9 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: fiction, mystery, family
10-word summary: A Chinese-American family unravels after the death of a daughter.
6-word review: A tightly woven story steadily unwinds.
Description*: A Chinese American family lives in 1970s small-town Ohio, and Lydia is the favorite child of Marilyn and James Lee. Her parents are determined that she will fulfill the dreams they were unable to pursue. But when Lydia’s body is found in the local lake, the delicate balancing act that has been keeping the Lee family together is destroyed, tumbling them into chaos.
Thoughts: Each of the parents in this book is carrying a lot of baggage borne of childhood and societal bullying and it comes together in tragic ways for their children. I rarely re-read books, mostly because it feels like I’m wasting time when I do. This one was no different. I first read this book in 2018, and re-read it for our Mostly Social Book Club

Title: The Souvenir Museum          Author: Elizabeth McCracken
Pages: 256          Duration: 09/20/21 – 10/09/21 (20 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: fiction, short stories
10-word summary: A dozen short stories testing the mysterious bonds of family.
6-word review: Loved/hated it—good book club discussion.
Description*: In these stories, the mysterious bonds of family are tested, transformed, fractured, and fortified. A recent widower and his adult son ferry to a craggy Scottish island in search of puffins. An actress who plays a children’s game-show villainess ushers in the New Year with her deadbeat half brother. A mother, pining for her children, feasts on loaves of challah to fill the void. A new couple navigates a tightrope walk toward love. And on a trip to a Texas water park with their son, two fathers each confront a personal fear.
Thoughts: I borrowed this book from the library after reading a review of it NPR’s website. The review said it “begins with one of the funniest short stories I’ve read in a long time.” And goes on to say, “I had to stop reading several times to explain to my husband why I was laughing so hard.” And as is typical, I did not find that to be the case. What I did absolutely love about this book was the examples she used to “show” you rather than “tell” you who these characters were. The characters weren’t all that quirky, though, just the way she told you about them. I read this book on my own and then suggested it for our our Mostly Social Book Club, and two of us loved it and two of us hated it, which made for great discussion.

Title: A Forbidden Rumspringa          Author: Keira Andrews
Pages: 256          Duration: 09/10/21 – 09/18/21 (9 days)          Rating: ★★★☆☆
Genres: fiction, LGBT, religion, Amish
10-word summary: Two men work through their sexuality, complicated by being Amish.
6-word review: Not uncommon gay coming-of-age, coming-out story.
Description*: In a world where every detail of life—down to the width of a hat brim—is dictated by God and the all-powerful rules of the community, two men dare to imagine a different way. At 18, Isaac Byler and David Lantz know little outside the strict Amish settlement of Zebulon, Minnesota, where there is no rumspringa for exploration beyond the boundaries of their insular world. But when David takes on Isaac as his carpenter apprentice, their attraction grows amid the sweat and sawdust. David shares his sinful secrets, and he and Isaac struggle to reconcile their shocking desires with their commitment to faith, family and community.
Thoughts: This book was another free download from BookBub, one that I absolutely couldn’t resist even though I know I don’t like romance novels, because its genre was so oddly specific—”a gay Amish romance novel.” I’m not a fan of reading about the gory details of sexual encounters, and it held true here, too, even though it was between two men. This could be the reason I’m not a fan of romance novels of any kind.

Title: Guests on Earth          Author: Lee Smith
Pages: 349          Duration: 08/29/21 – 09/09/21 (11 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: historical fiction, southern, mental health
10-word summary: Story of orphaned 13-year-old questionably admitted into a mental institution.
6-word review: Fine line between art and madness.
Description*: It’s 1936 when orphaned thirteen-year-old Evalina Toussaint is admitted to Highland Hospital, a mental institution in Asheville, North Carolina, known for its innovative treatments for nervous disorders and addictions. Taken under the wing of the hospital’s most notable patient, Zelda Fitzgerald, Evalina witnesses cascading events that lead up to the tragic fire of 1948 that killed nine women in a locked ward, Zelda among them. Author Lee Smith has created, through a seamless blending of fiction and fact, a mesmerizing novel about a world apart—in which art and madness are luminously intertwined.
Thoughts: Our Mostly Social Book Club choose this book because it was on a list of books set in North Carolina. It was a time when mental illness was treated barbarically, as were women really, and I did enjoy the mentions of places in and around Asheville and trying to decide if the things said about Zelda Fitzgerald were fiction or nonfiction.

Title: An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good          Author: Helene Tursten
Pages: 178          Duration: 08/20/21 – 08/21/21 (2 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: fiction, short stories, crime, humor
10-word summary: An 88-year-old Swedish woman has no qualms about killing people.
6-word review: Just a quick, fun little read.
Description*: Maud is an irascible 88-year-old Swedish woman with no family, no friends, and… no qualms about a little murder. This funny, irreverent story collection by Helene Tursten, author of the Irene Huss investigations, includes 5 short stories named: An elderly lady has accommodation problems, An elderly lady on her travels, An elderly lady seeks peace at Christmas time, The antique dealer’s death, and An elderly lady is faced with a difficult dilemma
Thoughts: A friend of mine recommended this book to me via Facebook and upon picking it up at the library, I found it—quite literally—a cute little book. It wasn’t much bigger than my wallet. It was a quick, fun read about a little old lady doing what little old ladies aren’t known for doing.

Title: Liar’s Dictionary          Author: Eley Williams
Pages: 288          Duration: 07/08/21 – 07/10/21 (3 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: historical fiction, LGBT, books about books
10-word summary: Celebration of the rigidity, fragility, absurdity, and joy of language.
6-word review: Will appeal more to word nerds.
Description*: An exhilarating and laugh-out-loud debut novel from a prize-winning new talent, which chronicles the misadventures of a lovelorn Victorian lexicographer and the young woman put on his trail a century later to root out his misdeeds while confronting questions of her own sexuality and place in the world.
Thoughts: I received this book in the U.S. mail from our friend Barb Hammon who said she thought I’d like it and “when you are done, send it back—or better yet—send it on to someone else who would enjoy it.” (And I passed it on to Christina Romano when I was done with it.) It took me a little while to get into it; in fact, I started it once and abandoned it, but then picked it up several months later and ended up loving it. It’s definitely for people with a love of language and words.

Title: Far from the Tree          Author: Robin Benway
Pages: 374          Duration: 07/03/21 – 07/07/21 (5 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: fiction, adoption, family, LGBT
10-word summary: Girl puts baby up for adoption; seeks own birth family.
6-word review: A satisfying—but not great—read.
Description*: Being the middle child has its ups and downs. But for Grace, an only child who was adopted at birth, discovering that she is a middle child is a different ride altogether. After putting her own baby up for adoption, she goes looking for her biological family, including
Maya, her loudmouthed younger bio sister, who has a lot to say about their newfound family ties and Joaquin, their stoic older bio brother, who has no interest in bonding over their shared biological mother.
Thoughts: This book was interesting enough. The ending, although I wouldn’t characterize it as “happy,” I would say it tied things up in a way that would be satisfying to people who like happy endings. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Title: The House in the Cerulean Sea          Author: T.J. Klune
Pages: 394          Duration: 06/22/21 – 06/29/21 (8 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: fiction, fantasy, LGBT, diversity, young adult
10-word summary: Linus Baker discovers an unlikely family in an unexpected place.
6-word review: I wanted to like this more.
Description*: A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret. Linus Baker leads a quiet, solitary life. At forty, he lives in a tiny house with a devious cat and his old records. As a Case Worker at the Department in Charge Of Magical Youth, he spends his days overseeing the well-being of children in government-sanctioned orphanages. When Linus is unexpectedly summoned by Extremely Upper Management he’s given a curious and highly classified assignment: travel to Marsyas Island Orphanage, where six dangerous children reside: a gnome, a sprite, a wyvern, an unidentifiable green blob, a were-Pomeranian, and the Antichrist. Linus must set aside his fears and determine whether or not they’re likely to bring about the end of days.
Thoughts: A friend of mine recommended this book to me, I’m guessing because of the diverse set of characters and its theme of diversity, otherwise it’s not the kind of book I’d read being of the fantasy and magic genre. I found it interesting enough, but not enthralling. What was really weird about it was that at about two-thirds of the way through it, I switched to the audio book version of it because it was available on the NC Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped site, and I absolutely hated the reading of it. Most of the characters had some kind of affectation when they spoke, and it really got on my nerves listening to them. With all that said, it had a good message, and I am glad to see a young adult book with LGBT (and other diverse characters) in it.

Title: Ten Fun Things to Do Before You Die          Author: Karol Jackowski
Pages: 112          Duration: 06/20/21 – 06/22/21 (3 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: nonfiction, humor, spirituality, self-help
10-word summary: Author, a nun for more than 35 years, shares wisdom.
6-word review: Wondered throughout if it was satire.
Description*: This book blends humor, insight, and wisdom in a way that’s accessible and irresistible. Nothing exhilarates and sends the soul soaring more than having the best time ever—so much so that face muscles ache from such hearty laughter, writes author Karol Jackowski, a nun for more than 35 years. May you have millions of such laughs. Time rarely gets more divine that that. Featuring whimsical illustrations and pointers on how to rediscover a fulfilling life—including how to treat yourself, get some depth, and make yourself interesting
Thoughts: I spent a lot of time while reading this book wondering if she (the author) was being serious or sarcastic. In retrospect, since it’s classified as nonfiction, she was serious. Three chapters, in particular, amused me: All nuns are treated equally, Nuns aren’t interested in being married, and Nuns listen to God more than anyone else.

Title: Giovanni’s Room          Author: James Baldwin
Pages: 159          Duration: 06/15/21 – 06/20/21 (6 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: fiction, classic, LGBT, romance, African American
10-word summary: An intense examination of the mystery of love and passion.
6-word review: I should have read Baldwin sooner.
Description*: In a 1950s Paris swarming with expatriates and characterized by dangerous liaisons and hidden violence, an American finds himself unable to repress his impulses, despite his determination to live the conventional life he envisions for himself. After meeting and proposing to a young woman, he falls into a lengthy affair with an Italian bartender and is confounded and tortured by his sexual identity as he oscillates between the two.
Thoughts: Every time I come across a quote or a review of something James Baldwin has written, I think, “I really need to read some of his work.” So I finally did, and chose this classic of gay literature. Baldwin himself said about this work: “[it’s] not so much about homosexuality, it is what happens if you are so afraid that you finally cannot love anybody.” The style of this book is characterized as “confessional,” and a surprising thing about it is that all of the characters are white.

Title: Running with Sherman          Author: Christopher McDougall
Pages: 483          Duration: 05/26/21 – 06/11/21 (17 days)          Rating: ★☆☆☆☆
Genres: nonfiction, animals, memoir, sport
10-word summary: A rescue donkey is trained for a challenging American race.
6-word review: Abhorred it—skimmed most of it.
Description*: When Chris McDougall agreed to take in Sherman, a donkey from an animal hoarder, he thought it would be no harder than the rest of the adjustments he and his family had made after moving from Philadelphia to the heart of Pennsylvania Amish country. But when he arrived, Sherman was in such bad shape he could barely move, and his hair was coming out in clumps. Chris decided to undertake a radical rehabilitation program designed not only to heal Sherman’s body but to heal his mind as well. It turns out the best way to soothe a donkey is to give it a job, and so Chris decided to teach Sherman how to run. He’d heard about burro racing—a unique type of race where humans and donkeys run together in a call-back to mining days—and decided he and Sherman would enter the World Championship in Colorado.
Thoughts: I’ll start off by saying I read this book for our Mostly Social Book Club, and the other three members absolutely loved it. I hated it. I supposed several things contributed to it: 1) A donkey is just not an animal I can apparently warm up to, 2) Although it’s a about a lot more than sports, it’s also a lot about sports, which I have little interest in, 3) And probably most problematic, this author had an annoying habit of going on for pages and pages with backstory about a new character that you (or I, at least) hadn’t even yet decided if I cared about. I skimmed—literally— 85% of this book and only didn’t abandon it because it was a book club book.

Title: Man’s Search for Meaning          Author: Viktor E. Frankl
Pages: 188          Duration: 05/13/21 – 05/21/21 (9 days)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: nonfiction, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, Holocaust
10-word summary: Frankl’s seminal work on spiritual survival and his logotherapy theory.
6-word review: I struggled with parts of this.
Description*: Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl’s memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of others he treated later in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl’s theory-known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos (“meaning”)-holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.
Thoughts: I know this is a heralded book that I should have liked more than I did. I will say that I am glad to have finally read it—thanks to it being a Mostly Social Book Club book—to see what all the fuss was about. I think the idea that you can choose how you react to things is very helpful, but I also think there’s a lot more that we now know about the biological (i.e., brain and chemical) aspects of reactions and interactions that significantly complicates matters and renders that idea as a little too simplistic.

Title: I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf          Author: Grant Snider
Pages: 128          Duration: 04/22/21 – 04/24/21 (3 days)          Rating: ★★★☆☆
Genres: nonfiction, graphic novel, humor, books about books
10-word summary: A graphical exploration of the love of writing and reading.
6-word review: Not a huge graphic novel fan.
Description*: It’s no secret that we are judged by our bookshelves. We learn to read at an early age, and as we grow older we shed our beloved books for new ones. But some of us surround ourselves with books. We collect them, decorate with them, are inspired by them, and treat our books as sacred objects. In this lighthearted collection of one- and two-page comics, writer-artist Grant Snider explores bookishness in all its forms, and the love of writing and reading, building on the beloved literary comics featured on his website, Incidental Comics.
Thoughts: I borrowed this book from the library after a colleague said she’d read it and loved it. To be honest, I was mostly interested in it as potential fodder for 50-word stories of which I was writing 3 around a theme every day in 2021. However, about a third of the way into it with no luck to that end, I started losing interest in it.

Title: Honor Kills          Author: Nanci Rathbun
Pages: 230          Duration: 04/12/21 – 04/12/21 (1 day)          Rating: ★★★★☆
Genres: fiction, mystery, crime, suspense
10-word summary: A missing husband’s uncovered obituary adds to his mysterious disappearance.
6-word review: A standalone part of a series.
Description*: Six years ago, Marcy Wagner hired PI Angelina Bonaparte to find her missing husband Hank, who cleaned out their bank accounts and disappeared. Then Angie finds his obituary in an upstate newspaper. Marcy wants to know what why he abandoned her and the kids. Angie does, too!
Thoughts: I wouldn’t call this a page turner, but it kept me interested enough to want to find out what happened. As most of the books I get free from BookBub, this book is one of a series—book 3 of 4, but it’s said to “stand on its own,” and I found it did.

Title: The Nature of Fragile Things          Author: Susan Meissner
Pages: 377          Duration: 04/07/21 – 04/11/21 (5 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: historical fiction, mystery, family
10-word summary: There is more to Sophie’s husband than meets the eye.
6-word review: Compelling story with an accommodating ending.
Description*: April 18, 1906: A massive earthquake rocks San Francisco just before daybreak, igniting a devouring inferno. Lives are lost, lives are shattered, but some rise from the ashes forever changed.
Thoughts: This was a gripping story with a huge, what I think of as a record scratch moment, when something happens that makes you go, “HUH?????” That moment in this book is at the end of chapter 8. I really like how the “scorned” women came together in friendship and love after it was all said and done. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Title: Tell the Wolves I’m Home          Author: Carol Rifka Brunt
Pages: 367          Duration: 03/28/21 – 04/01/21 (5 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: literary fiction, LGBT, young adult
10-word summary: June’s uncle Finn teacher her more in death than life.
6-word review: Brilliant point-of-view change through third party.
Description*: In this striking literary debut, Carol Rifka Brunt unfolds a moving story of love, grief, and renewal as two lonely people become the unlikeliest of friends and find that sometimes you don’t know you’ve lost someone until you’ve found them.
Thoughts: I loved this book. The author did a brilliant job of portraying the relationship between June and her uncle from June’s point of view, and then just as brilliantly, unraveled that portrayal (and yours!) because you thought it was exactly as June did. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Title: The Things We Cannot Say          Author: Kelly Rimmer
Pages: 415          Duration: 01/29/21 – 02/02/21 (5 days)          Rating: ★★★★★
Genres: historical fiction, WWII, romance
10-word summary: A tragic love story and a family secret unfolds dramatically.
6-word review: This kept me turning the pages.
Description*: Alice begins to uncover the story her grandmother is so desperate to tell, and discovers a love that bloomed in the winter of 1942. As a painful family history comes to light, will the struggles of the past and present finally reach a heartbreaking resolution?
Thoughts: This was a compelling, well-told story that kept me engaged and wanting to know how it ended. Flashbacks can sometimes be distracting or confusing, but neither of these were the case for me with the ones in this book. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Title: Vespertine          Author: Leta Blake & Indra Vaughn
Pages: 420          Duration: 01/07/21 – 01/10/21 (4 days)          Rating: ★★★☆☆
Genres: fiction, LGBT, romance, music, religion
10-word summary: Catholic priest and rock star, childhood friends, become adult lovers.
6-word review: Gay romance novel—not for me.
Description*: The careers of Jasper, a Catholic priest, and Nicky, a rock star, have ruled their lives since they parted as teens. When they come face to face again, they must choose between the past’s lingering ghosts or the promise of a new future.
Thoughts: This book taught me that I’m not fond of romance novels regardless of the genders (or lack thereof) involved. Fortunately I got this book as a free download via BookBub.

*Descriptions are from the book as listed on goodreads.com—either quoted or paraphrased.

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FAQs about my exercise check-ins

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I’ve had several questions over the years about the content of my Facebook exercise check-ins, which used to be mostly to Planet Fitness and sometimes to the Red Hat Fitness Center, but since we bought an elliptical machine during the COVID pandemic, I’m just “checking in” at home.

  1. How long have you been doing this?
    The oldest record I have of one is May 3, 2010, so 11 years? But there’s only one in 2010, and then they appear more regularly in 2012, so it’s probably more like 9 years.

  2. Do you make them up?
    I’ve only made up 3 or 4 of them over the years.

  3. Why don’t you give attribution to them if you’re not making them up?
    I did in the beginning, when I was getting a lot of them from “Quotable Quotes” sites, but then I started to get them from several different places and most of the time they weren’t attributed to anyone, and so I eventually stopped. People can Google one if they’re interested in its source.

  4. Where do you get them?
    I get them from several different sources: someecards, other people’s timelines, memes, PostSecret, and sometimes I just Google “exercise sayings” or “exercise memes” or “exercise quotes” or “exercise jokes.” Or, I substitute “gym” or “diet” for “exercise” in all of those search arguments.

  5. Did Planet Fitness pay you to post them?
    No. They wouldn’t even know I post them, since they’re on my timeline, which is friends-only, and not on Facebook’s Planet Fitness page or any place public.

  6. Why do you post them?
    The biggest reason is because it’s a huge motivator in getting me to exercise. I look forward to looking at them after I’m done exercising to see reactions to them.

  7. Do you have any criteria for their use?
    Yes, I don’t use one unless it’s been at least a year since I last used it. There are just a couple of exceptions to this, which are ones that are event-related (e.g., Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the end of the calendar year).

  8. How do you know how many times you’ve used one or how long it’s been since you last used it?
    I have a spreadsheet with all of them in it, including how often each has been used, the last date I used it, and the date of each use.

    Sorted by frequency of use

    First spreadsheet column showing frequency of use

    Sorted by date of last use

    Spreadsheet column labeled 'Last' showing the date of last use

  9. How many do you have?
    The number of rows currently (as of 06/11/21) in my spreadsheet indicates that I have 440 of them.

  10. “Haven’t you already used that one?” (Which sometimes manifests itself as, “You’ve already used that one!”)
    Usually I get this from someone who doesn’t know 1) that I keep track of them, and 2) what my criteria for re-use is. I always use the opportunity to educate them, and it’s one of the reasons I created these FAQs. 🙂

  11. “Have you seen this one?” (With the item in question either posted to my timeline or to their own timeline with me tagged.)
    People often want to make sure I’ve seen something they think I might like to use, which I appreciate, but often I already have it in my repertoire. I’m somewhat of a control freak (I can see you trying to put a look of surprise on your face) about what goes on my timeline, so I appreciate when someone sends me one using Facebook Messenger instead of putting it on my timeline or tagging me on it in a posting on their timeline.
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2020 books read

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I have a goal to increase the number of books I read each year. In 2019, I read 29 books. In 2020, I read 75:

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Row 1: Girls Like Us | We The Animals | Have You Seen Luis Velez | The Strange Museum | In Five Years | The Winkler Case Row 2: Oona Out of Order | Hercule Poirot's Christmas | Christmas Cake Murder | The Family Upstairs | Penance | The Nickel Boys Row 3: All Adults Here | Olive, Again | Olive Kitteridge | The Trolley Car Family | A Higher Loyalty | Normal People Row 4: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children | Jackie | Educated | Happy and You Know It | Lady Susan | Come to the Edge Row 5: The Traveler's Wife | A Visit from the Good Squad | This is Where I Leave You | All You Can Ever Know | The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry | The Snowy Day Row 6: Bad Blood | The Black Flamingo | Maybe You Should Talk to Someone | Brunch at Ruby's | Bel Canto | What Belongs to You Row 7: A Little Life | The Family Gathering | A Dangerous Age | How To Be Good | The Great Believers | White Fragility Row 8: Valentine | A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You | Days of Distraction | Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage | Days of Awe | A Doubter's Almanac Row 9: Interpreter of Maladies | A Girl's Guide to Moving On | The Sense of an Ending | Love Lettering | Me | I Owe You One Row 10: Ask Again, Yes | The Identicals | The Husband's Secret | The Obituary Society | Be Frank With Me | Postcards from a Stranger Row 11: Everything My Mother Taught Me | The Last Thing She Ever Did | Talking to Strangers | Break in Case of Emergency | Property: Stories Between Two Novellas | The Road Home Row 12: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings | The Bookshop of Yesterdays | The Elegance of the Hedgehog | The Underground Railroad | The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers | After the Funeral Row 13: My Year of Rest and Relaxation | What Alice Forgot | How Will You Measure Your Life?
Ratings legend:
★★★★★ Completely enthralling, couldn’t put it down. and/or More than just entertaining (e.g., educational, enlightening). Would highly recommend.
★★★★☆ Really great book in all respects with perhaps some minor flaws. Would defintely recommend.
★★★☆☆ Average. An entertaining read but probably forgettable. Might or might not recommend.
★★☆☆☆ Finished, but did not like. Would not recommend.
★☆☆☆☆ Abandoned before finishing, usually because it was poorly written or just uninteresting to me.
The books I’ve read so far in 2020—summary Clicking on the title of a book will take you to its detailed entry further down on the page, which contains a description of the book and some thoughts I had about it.
Title Author Pages Duration Rating Genres
Girls Like us Cristina Alger 290 12/22/20 – 12/24/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ fiction, mystery, thriller
We The Animals Justin Torres 156 12/20/20 – 12/20/20 (1 day) ★★★☆☆ fiction, LGBT, coming of age
Have You Seen Luis Velez Catherine Ryan Hyde 315 12/18/20 – 12/19/20 (2 days) ★★★★★ fiction, young adult, coming of age, Latinx culture
The Strange Museum: 50-Word Stories David Greene 128 12/17/20 – 12/17/20 (1 day) ★★★★☆ fiction, constrained writing
In Five Years Rebecca Serle 266 12/16/20 – 12/17/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, magical realism, romance
The Winkler Case David Greene 280 12/13/20 – 12/15/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ fiction, mystery, noir, LGBT
Oona Out of Order Margarita Montimore 339 12/11/20 – 12/13/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ fiction, magical realism, time travel
Hercule Poirot’s Christmas Agatha Christie 272 12/08/20 – 12/10/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ fiction, mystery, holiday
Christmas Cake Murder Joanne Fluke 225 12/06/20 – 12/07/20 (2 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, mystery, holiday
The Family Upstairs Lisa Jewell 340 11/30/20 – 12/03/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, crime, mystery
Penance Edward Daniel Hunt 270 11/26/20 – 11/27/20 (2 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, crime, mystery
The Nickel Boys Colson Whitehead 210 11/22/20 – 11/25/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ historical fiction, race, African-American culture
All Adults Here Emma Straub 366 11/02/20 – 11/21/20 (20 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, family LGBT
Olive, Again Elizabeth Strout 304 10/29/20 – 11/01/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, short stories
Olive Kitteridge Elizabeth Strout 280 10/25/20 – 10/28/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, short stories
The Trolley Car Family Eleanor Clymer 216 10/23/20 – 10/24/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, children, humor
A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership James Comey 290 10/16/20 – 10/24/20 (9 days) ★★☆☆☆ nonfiction, memoir, politics, leadership
Normal People Sally Rooney 268 10/10/20 – 10/11/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, romance, Irish culture
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Ransom Riggs 352 10/05/20 – 10/07/20 (3 days) ★★☆☆☆ fiction, fantasy, mystery, horror, time travel
Jackie: Her Transformation from First Lady to Jackie O. Paul Brandus 240 09/26/20 – 10/02/20 (7 days) ★★★★☆ nonfiction, biography
Educated Tara Westover 336 09/22/20 – 09/25/20 (4 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, memoir, education, religion
Happy and You Know It Laura Hankin 383 09/20/20 – 09/21/20 (2 days) ★★★☆☆ womens literary fiction, contemporary
Lady Susan Jane Austen 82 09/14/20 – 09/16/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ fiction, classics, romance, 19th century literature
Come to the Edge Christina Haag 271 09/08/20 – 09/12/20 (5 days) ★★★★☆ nonfiction, memoir, romance
The Time Traveler’s Wife Audrey Niffenegger 540 09/03/20 – 09/07/20 (5 days) ★★★★★ fiction, romance, magical realism
A Visit from the Goon Squad Jennifer Egan 337 08/28/20 – 08/31/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, music
This is Where I Leave You Jonathan Tropper 388 08/23/20 – 08/26/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, humor, family, Jewish culture
All You Can Ever Know Nicole Chung 240 08/19/20 – 08/20/20 (2 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, memoir, adoption, race, Korean culture
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry Gabrielle Zevin 290 08/17/20 – 08/17/20 (1 day) ★★★★☆ fiction, books about books, romance
The Snowy Day Ezra Jack Keats 40 08/16/20 – 08/16/20 (1 day) ★★★★★ fiction, children, picture, classic, African-American culture
Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup John Carreyrou 353 08/12/20 – 08/15/20 (4 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, business, true crime, science, technology
The Black Flamingo Dean Atta 416 08/11/20 – 08/12/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, LGBT, verse
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Lori Gottlieb 413 08/06/20 – 08/10/20 (5 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, memoir, psychology, health
Brunch at Ruby’s D. L. White 373 08/01/20 – 08/04/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ womens fiction, romance, African-American culture
Bel Canto Ann Patchett 318 07/26/20 – 08/01/20 (7 days) ★★★★★ literary fiction, music
What Belongs to You Garth Greenwell 195 07/24/20 – 07/25/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, LGBT
A Little Life Hanya Yanagihara 736 07/15/20 – 07/22/20 (8 days) ★★★★★ literary fiction, LGBT
The Family Gathering Robyn Carr 352 07/08/20 – 07/12/20 (5 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, romance
A Dangerous Age Ellen Gilchrist 245 07/05/20 – 07/06/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, American south
How to Be Good Nick Hornby 305 07/04/20 – 07/05/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, humor
The Great Believers Rebecca Makkai 421 06/27/20 – 07/03/20 (7 days) ★★★★★ literary fiction, historical fiction, LGBT
White Fragility Robin DiAngelo 187 06/12/20 – 06/26/20 (15 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, race, anti-racist, social movements, social justice, politics, psychology
Valentine Elizabeth Wetmore 320 06/08/20 – 06/20/20 (13 days) ★★★★☆ historical fiction, literary fiction
A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You Amy Bloom 163 06/06/20 – 06/07/20 (2 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, short stories
Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage: Stories Alice Munro 323 05/16/29 – 06/06/20 (22 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, short stories, Canadian culture
Days of Distraction Alexandra Chang 320 05/25/29 – 05/30/20 (6 days) ★★★★☆ literary fiction, Asian culture
The Little Friend (Abandoned) Donna Tartt 642 05/16/29 – 05/25/20 (10 days) ★☆☆☆☆ literary fiction, mystery
Days of Awe Lauren Fox 274 05/10/29 – 05/15/20 (6 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, literary fiction
A Doubter’s Almanac Ethan Canin 577 05/03/29 – 05/08/20 (6 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, historical fiction, literary fiction
Interpreter of Maladies Jhumpa Lahiri 209 04/30/20 – 05/02/20 (4 days) ★★★★★ fiction, short stories, Indian culture
A Girl’s Guide to Moving On Debbie Macomber 162 04/26/20 – 04/29/20 (4 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, romance
The Sense of an Ending Julian Barnes 162 04/25/20 – 04/25/20 (1 day) ★★★★★ fiction, literary fiction
Love Lettering Kate Clayborn 320 04/19/20 – 04/23/20 (5 days) ★★☆☆☆ fiction, romance, contemporary
Me Elton John 376 04/13/20 – 04/17/20 (5 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, autobiography, celebrity, music
I Owe You One Sophie Kinsella 432 04/11/20 – 04/13/20 (3 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, romance
Ask Again, Yes Mary Beth Keane 400 04/09/20 – 04/10/20 (2 days) ★★★★★ fiction, psychology
The Identicals Elin Hilderbrand 433 04/04/20 – 04/07/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, romance
The Husband’s Secret Liane Moriarty 498 03/31/20 – 04/04/20 (5 days) ★★★★★ fiction, mystery, psychology
The Obituary Society Jessica L. Randall 216 03/28/20 – 03/30/20 (3 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, mystery, romance
Be Frank With Me Julia Claiborne Johnson 309 03/24/20 – 03/27/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, humor
Postcards from a Stranger Imogen Clark 348 03/21/20 – 03/23/20 (3 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, mystery
Everything My Mother Taught Me Alice Hoffman 24 03/21/20 – 03/21/20 (1 day) ★★★★☆ fiction, historical fiction, short stories
The Last Thing She Ever Did Gregg Olsen 372 03/17/20 – 03/19/20 (3 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, mystery, thriller
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know Malcolm Gladwell 388 03/15/20 – 03/16/20 (2 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, psychology, sociology
Break in Case of Emergency Jessica Winter 269 03/08/20 – 03/12/20 (5 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, women, humor
Property: Stories Between Two Novellas Lionel Shriver 317 02/29/20 – 03/06/20 (7 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, short stories
The Road Home Kathleen Shoop 503 02/25/20 – 02/28/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, historical fiction
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou 317 02/15/20 – 02/17/20 (3 days) ★★★★★ nonfiction, memoir, classics
The Bookshop of Yesterdays Amy Meyerson 364 02/12/20 – 02/14/20 (3 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, books about books, mystery
The Elegance of the Hedgehog Muriel Barbery 325 02/08/20 – 02/11/20 (4 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, philosophy, French culture
The Underground Railroad Colson Whitehead 336 02/02/20 – 02/06/20 (5 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, historical fiction
The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers (And Their Muses) Terri-Lynne DeFino 336 01/21/20 – 02/01/20 (12 days) ★★★★☆ fiction, writing, books about books, contemporary
After the Funeral Agatha Christie Audio 01/17/20 – 01/18/20 (2 days) ★★★☆☆ fiction, mystery
My Year of Rest and Relaxation Ottessa Moshfegh 304 01/13/20 – 01/16/20 (4 days) ★★★★★ fiction, contemporary
The Once and Future King (Abandoned) T.H. White 647 01/12/20 – 01/13/20 (2 days) ★☆☆☆☆ fiction, fantasy, classics, mythology, literature, young adult
What Alice Forgot Liane Moriarty 476 01/03/20 – 01/09/20 (7 days) ★★★★★ fiction, contemporary, romance, Australian culture, mystery
How Will You Measure Your Life Clayton M. Christensen 240 12/31/19 – 01/02/20 (3 days) ★★★☆☆ business, leadership, management, personal development, philosophy, productivity, psychology, self-help
  The books I’ve read so far in 2020—details
Girls Like Us book cover Book: Girls Like Us Author: Cristina Alger
Pages: 290 Duration: 12/22/20 – 12/24/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Fiction, mystery, thriller
🔖10-word summary: FBI agent investigating a murder starts suspecting her own father. 🖌6-word review: Crime mystery with intriguing plot turns.
Description:* FBI Agent Nell Flynn hasn’t been home in 10 years. Nell and her father, Homicide Detective Martin Flynn, have never had much of a relationship. And Suffolk County will always be awash in memories of her mother, who was brutally murdered when Nell was just seven. When Martin Flynn dies in a motorcycle accident, Nell returns to the house she grew up in so that she can spread her father’s ashes and close his estate. At the behest of her father’s partner, Detective Lee Davis, Nell becomes involved in an investigation into the murders of two young Latina women in Suffolk County. The further Nell digs, the more likely it seems to her that her father should be the prime suspect—and that his friends on the police force are covering his tracks. Or are they? *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I really enjoyed this as a final book of the year. It was light reading, but with a good story and it took enough turns in the plot to keep me curious as to how it was all going to turn out. I also liked that the protagonist FBI agent was a woman.
We The Animals book cover Book: We The Animals Author: Justin Torres
Pages: 156 Duration: 12/20/20 – 12/20/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: Fiction, LGBT, coming of age
🔖10-word summary: A dreamlike telling of three brothers navigating their chaotic childhood. 🖌6-word review: Much “magical language” lost on me.
Description:* Three brothers tear their way through childhood—smashing tomatoes all over each other, building kites from trash, hiding out when their parents do battle, tiptoeing around the house as their mother sleeps off her graveyard shift. Paps and Ma are from Brooklyn—he’s Puerto Rican, she’s white—and their love is a serious, dangerous thing that makes and unmakes a family many times. Life in this family is fierce and absorbing, full of chaos and heartbreak, and the euphoria of belonging completely to one another. From the intense familial unity felt by a child to the profound alienation he endures as he begins to see the world, this beautiful novel reinvents the coming-of-age story in a way that is sly and punch-in-the-stomach powerful. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: Although this book has been described as “written in magical language with unforgettable images,” I spent a lot of time wondering what was going on in this book. I much prefer a straight-forward, prose narrative to lyrical writing, and that was no exception with this book. I also kept getting the feeling that I’d read this book before, and one line in it, in particular, “I was standing there, watching you dance and twirl and move like that, and I was thinking to myself, “Goddamn, I got me a pretty one.” However I checked in all the places in which I’ve tracked my reading over the years—2020 books read, 2019 books read, Mostly Social Book Club, The Nematomes, GLBT Bookclub, Goodreads—to no avail.
Have You Seen Luis Velez? book cover Book: Have You Seen Luis Velez? Author: Catherine Ryan Hyde
Pages: 315 Duration: 12/18/20 – 12/19/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Fiction, young adult, coming of age, Latinx culture
🔖10-word summary: An elderly woman’s weekly visitor inexplicably stops coming. What happened? 🖌6-word review: Loved this story and its telling.
Description:* Raymond Jaffe feels like he doesn’t belong. Not with his mother’s new family. Not as a weekend guest with his father and his father’s wife. Not at school, where he’s an outcast. After his best friend moves away, Raymond has only two real connections: to the feral cat he’s tamed and to a blind ninety-two-year-old woman in his building who’s introduced herself with a curious question: Have you seen Luis Velez? Mildred Gutermann, a German Jew who narrowly escaped the Holocaust, has been alone since her caretaker disappeared. She turns to Raymond for help, and as he tries to track Luis down, a deep and unexpected friendship blossoms between the two. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: First thing about this book is that I don’t know why one of its genres is listed as “young adult,” because that thought never crossed my mind reading this book. So, if that’s a turnoff for you, don’t let it stop you from reading it. Also, honestly, I’ve read a lot of books about The Holocaust, and I’m kind of avoiding more right now (for emotional health), but though it’s mentioned in some synopses of this book, it’s not a huge part of the story and it’s only brought up toward the end, so don’t let that stop you from reading it, either. As for what I loved about this book:—of which there’s a lot—and some of which include: the wisdom of “Mrs. G” (the female protagonist) the soul-searching and inherent goodness of Raymond (the male protagonist), and the many themes touched on. They include: our humanity, our connectedness, belonging, sexual orientation, beauty, prejudice, the U.S. justice system, and Latinx culture. I highly recommend this book.
The Strange Museum: 50-Word Stories book cover Book: The Strange Museum: 50-Word Stories Author: Ran Walker
Pages: 128 Duration: 12/17/20 – 12/17/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, constrained writing
🔖10-word summary: 100 “microstories” of constrained writing on a variety of topics. 🖌6-word review: African-American writer, diverse, delightful, extra-short stories.
Description:* Each of these 100 stories contains exactly fifty words, save the title, and seeks to explore an entire narrative universe within its small space. The stories range from humorous to insightful to dark, and, yes, to strange! *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: This book was recommended to me by a high-school friend who lives in Maine, and who visited us during our recent one-month stay on Cape Cod. I really enjoyed these (very) short stories, and I read all of them in about an hour, hour-and-a-half. I’ll give an example of what they’re like and reveal my favorite one at the same time: “Most Likely to Succeed There was hardly any debate among the recent graduates that Gregory had acted in porn movies. Where they remained divided, however, was whether or not the word ‘star'” should be attached to him, since the most voracious connoisseurs of pron among them had never spotted him in anything of note.” I highly recommend this short, fun read.
In Five Years book cover Book: In Five Years Author: Rebecca Serle
Pages: 266 Duration: 12/16/20 – 12/17/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, magical realism, romance
🔖10-word summary: Woman sees herself for 1 hour 5 years from now. 🖌6-word review: Life choices, self-discovery—magical realism backdrop.
Description:* When lawyer Dannie Kohan is asked this question at the most important interview of her career, she has a meticulously crafted answer at the ready. Later, after nailing her interview and accepting her boyfriend’s marriage proposal, Dannie goes to sleep knowing she is right on track to achieve her five-year plan. But when she wakes up, she’s suddenly in a different apartment, with a different ring on her finger, and beside a very different man. The television news is on in the background, and she can just make out the scrolling date. It’s the same night—December 15—but 2025, five years in the future, where she stays for one hour. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: This is my third time-travel book of 2020, but the time travel part in this one only lasts an hour. One of the things that struck me the most about this book was the frenetic pace of high-powered NYC lawyers and the extreme to which people will go to “succeed.” When it was all said and done, I was glad it pretty much skipped over the 4.5 years between when she had her “premonition” and when what happened in the dream would (or wouldn not) play out. I wasn’t blown away by this book, but it was intriguing enough to keep me interested in seeing how it would end.
The Winkler Case book cover Book: The Winkler Case Author: David Greene
Pages: 280 Duration: 12/13/20 – 12/15/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Fiction, mystery, noir, LGBT
🔖10-word summary: Art imitates art in this non-heteronormative pastiche of Double Indemnity. 🖌6-word review: A welcome re-imagining of a classic.
Description:* The Winkler Case is a gay reimagining of the classic noir novel, Double Indemnity. When insurance salesman Elliot Blake meets a handsome boxer at the home of promoter Walt Winkler, he begins to learn the truth about the boxer’s bargain with the promoter, and about his own desires. The Winkler Case explores the predicaments of two gay men in Chicago in 1948, and the hidden desires that lead to murder. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: Double Indemnity is one of my husband’s favorite film noirs, which I’ve watched with him in the past. A couple of years ago he mentioned this book, so I bought it for him as a gift, and he read it while we were in Key West on vacation. The book follows the noir genre with plot twists (“sucker punches,” to use a pugilist term) and typical traits and qualities of noir characters. It also gives you a good sense of the mentality of the closeted 50s. One reviewer said, “If you like the noir convention, Chicago, and/or gay mystery, you’ll like this.”
Oona Out of Order book cover Book: Oona Out of Order Author: Margarita Montimore
Pages: 339 Duration: 12/11/20 – 12/13/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Fiction, magical realism, time travel
🔖10-word summary: Oona “leaps”—out of order—through life’s heartbreak and joy. 🖌6-word review: Inventive, magical, heart-wrenching treatment of time.
Description:* Just because life may be out of order, doesn’t mean it’s broken. It’s New Year’s Eve 1982, and Oona Lockhart has her whole life before her. At the stroke of midnight she’ll turn 19, and the year ahead promises to be one of consequence. Should she go to London to study economics, or remain at home in Brooklyn to pursue her passion for music and be with her boyfriend? As the countdown to the New Year begins, Oona faints and awakens 32 years in her 51-year-old body. Greeted by a friendly stranger in a beautiful house she’s told is her own, Oona learns that with each passing year she’ll leap to another age at random. And so begins Oona Out of Order—hopping through decades, pop culture fads, and much-needed stock tips. Oona is still a young woman on the inside but ever changing on the outside. Who will she be next year? Philanthropist? Club Kid? World traveler? Wife to a man she’s never met? *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I requested this book from the library back in September when I was interested in a time travel book. I read The Time Traveler’s Wife then, since it was readily available at the time, and I had to get on quite an extensive waitlist for this one. Back at that time, several people at work lauded this book as a very favorite, and several of the reviews I glanced through on Goodreads had a comment to the effect of, “I cried through the last 130 pages of this book.” I much prefer books/movies with sad/tragic endings than happy ones, which is another reason I put this one on my list. I didn’t remember the comments about the ending until I got to the penultimate chapter when it all came crashing back to me. I spend a lot of time in books like this checking that there are “consistent rules” about how this particular time travel scenario works and then making sure the author adheres to them. I’m happy to report that I was both satisfied that that was the case and, bonus, I actually approved of the particular rules set forth in this one. 🙂
Hercule Poirot's Christmas book cover Book: Hercule Poirot’s Christmas Author: Agatha Christie
Pages: 272 Duration: 12/08/20 – 12/10/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Fiction, mystery, holiday
🔖10-word summary: There is  no shortage of motives to kill Simeon Lee. 🖌6-word review: Holiday whodunit—classic Christie, classic Poirot.
Description:* The holidays are anything but merry when a family reunion is marred by murder—and the notoriously fastidious investigator is quickly on the case. The wealthy Simeon Lee has demanded that all four of his sons—one faithful, one prodigal, one impecunious, one sensitive—and their wives return home for Christmas. But a heartwarming family holiday is not exactly what he has in mind. He bedevils each of his sons with barbed insults and finally announces that he is cutting off their allowances and changing his will. Poirot is called in the aftermath of Simeon Lee’s announcement. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: This is classic Agatha Christie, in which by now, I’ve learned that you’re not going to guess the “whodunit,” because there’s always at least one surprise thing that you’re not privy to as the reader that plays into what happened. At one time, I read a lot of Agatha Christie, and Hercule Poirot—one of Christie’s most famous and long-running characters, appearing in 33 novels, 2 plays (Black Coffee and Alibi), and more than 50 short stories published between 1920 and 1975—has always been my favorite character, probably because of his oft-ejaculated French phrases. I purposely chose this Hercule Poirot Agatha Christie book because of the season.
Christmas Cake Murder book cover Book: Christmas Cake Murder Author: Joanne Fluke
Pages: 225 Duration: 12/06/20 – 12/07/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: Fiction, mystery, holiday
🔖10-word summary: A murder that’s inside a story that’s inside a story. 🖌6-word review: Actual recipes between chapters sound delicious.
Description:* With her dream of opening The Cookie Jar taking shape, Hannah’s life matches the hectic December hustle and bustle in Lake Eden—especially when she agrees to help recreate a spectacular Christmas Ball from the past in honor of Essie Granger, an elderly local in hospice care. But instead of poring over decadent dessert recipes for the merry festivities, she instantly becomes enthralled by Essie’s old notebooks and the tale of a woman escaping danger on the streets of New York. As Hannah prepares to run a bakery and move out of her mother’s house, it’ll be a true miracle if she can prevent another Yuletide disaster by solving a mystery as dense as a Christmas fruitcake. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: This is the first book out of 67 for which I really wish I’d had ½ stars to choose from in my rating system. I was really torn between a 3-star vs. a 4-star rating for this one. I felt that the writing was at a 3½-star level and the story was at a 4½-star level, and since I’m a writer at heart, I went with the 3-star rating. It’s not that the writing was bad, per se, it was just very, very basic. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: Instead of saying only what we really need to know, which in this case would be, “I’m going to buy a freezer and keep it in the garage,” she writes, “I’ll be glad to buy a large chest freezer,” Delores said quickly. “It’s a double garage and there are several electrical outlets. Since I’m using only one space for my car, we could put the chest freezer on the other side of the garage. Let’s all go out to look at the garage right now.” Another example, which I’ll just paraphrase (admittedly with hyperbole), instead of just saying, “They sat down for dinner,” she’d write, “We pulled our chairs out, sat down, picked up our forks, and started eating.” And not to beat a dead horse, but instead of just writing, “Use a fork to do this,” she writes, “Use a fork from your silverware drawer to do this.” We just don’t need all that. As I mentioned in my 6-word review, there were recipes at the end of chapters where the main character made a dish, which were mostly desserts, and most of them sounded very good. These are the names of them: Cocoa-Crunch Cookies, Honey Apple Crisp, Anytime Peach Pie, Melt-in-Your-Mouth Pork Roast, Ultimate Lemon Bundt Cake, Cool Whip Lemon Frosting, Bacon and Sausage Breakfast Burritos, Cashew Butter Blossom Cookies, Chocolate Hazelnut Bon-Bons (my “mémère” used this word a lot), Ultimate Butterscotch Bundt Cake, Cool Whip Butterscotch Frosting, Ultimate Christmas Bundt Cake, Cool Whip White Chocolate Frosting, and Minty Dream Cookies.
The Family Upstairs book cover Book: The Family Upstairs Author: Lisa Jewell
Pages: 340 Duration: 11/30/20 – 12/03/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, crime, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Libby works through entangled birth-family history to claim her inheritance. 🖌6-word review: Satisfying tidbits revealed in interest-sustaining way.
Description:* Soon after her 25th birthday, Libby Jones returns home from work to find the letter she’s been waiting for her entire life. She rips it open with one driving thought: I am finally going to know who I am. She learns not only the identity of her birth parents, but also that she is the sole inheritor of their abandoned mansion on the banks of the Thames, worth millions. She can’t possibly know that others have been waiting for this day as well—and she is on a collision course to meet them. 25 years ago, police were called to 16 Cheyne Walk with reports of a baby crying. When they arrived, they found a healthy 10-month-old cooing in her crib. Downstairs lay 3 dead bodies, all dressed in black, next to a hastily scrawled note. And the 4 other children of the house were gone. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I got this as a free download from BookBub, and although it was part of a series (as almost all of the free downloads are), it was the first in the series, and I was satisfied enough with it as a standalone read, but if the next in the series became available free (or to borrow from the library), I’d be interested in checking it out. I did have a little trouble keeping the four children’s name and relationship straight—I got that there was a brother and sister in each family, I just had trouble remembering which brother went with which sister and which family each went with. There were a couple of things I’d call a “whammy,” a surprise, or a twist, which is always fun.
Penance book cover Book: Penance Author: Edward Daniel Hunt
Pages: 270 Duration: 11/26/20 – 11/27/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: Fiction, crime, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Trouble is imminent as Lori is a sought-after, 10-years-after-the-fact witness 🖌6-word review: Interesting enough, a few editing errors
Description:* The first book in a series of crime novels featuring retired Boston homicide detective John Gilfillan. This story is about the race to find Lori Doyle. Ten years ago, Lori, as a teenager, witnessed a killing. Today, she has established a new life for herself and her daughter in Maine under an alias. Unbeknownst to her, all that’s about to change, as some are seeking her out to do her harm and some to do her good. *From amazon.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I got this book as a free download from BookBub, and as my experience with books they make available for free, it was one of a series (in this case the first in the series) and there were several “editing misses” in it. The storyline kept me interested enough to keep reading and to see “who done it.”
The Nickel Boys book cover Book: The Nickel Boys Author: Colson Whitehead
Pages: 210 Duration: 11/22/20 – 11/25/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Historical fiction, race, African-American culture
🔖10-word summary: Racist hatred scarring children for life—both physically and emotionally 🖌6-word review: Based on an actual reform school
Description:* As the Civil Rights movement begins to reach the black enclave of Frenchtown in segregated Tallahassee, Elwood Curtis takes the words of Dr. Martin Luther King to heart: He is “as good as anyone.” Abandoned by his parents, but kept on the straight and narrow by his grandmother, Elwood is a high school senior about to start classes at a local college. But for a black boy in the Jim Crow South of the early 1960s, one innocent mistake is enough to destroy the future. Elwood is sentenced to a juvenile reformatory called the Nickel Academy, whose mission statement says it provides “physical, intellectual and moral training” so the delinquent boys in their charge can become “honorable and honest men.” *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: Colson Whitehead’s winner of the 2020 Pulizer Prize for Fiction was my second book of his, having read The Underground Railroad earlier this year. These stories about racism and abuse are hard to read even when fictionalized. And to add to the horror of it all, although it’s fiction, this story is based on the real-life The Florida School for Boys—a “reform school in Florida that operated for 111 years and warped the lives of thousands of children.” Archaeologists Finally Know What Happened at This Brutal Reform School from the Smithsonian Magazine talks about the real-life place. All good stories are based on conflict, and the overaching conflict in this one was between the ideals of Elwood and the skepticism of his friend Turner, and the repercussions of the decisions they made and the things they endured while at the Nickel Acadamey.
All Adults Here book cover Book: All Adults Here Author: Emma Straub
Pages: 366 Duration: 11/02/20 – 11/21/20 (20 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, family LGBT
🔖10-word summary: Parents as parents, children, and siblings—all self-doubting at times 🖌6-word review: A fun, warm-hearted, and insightful read
Description:* When Astrid Strick witnesses a school bus accident in the center of town, it jostles loose a repressed memory from her young parenting days decades earlier. Suddenly, Astrid realizes she was not quite the parent she thought she’d been to her three, now-grown children. But to what consequence? Astrid’s youngest son is drifting and unfocused, making parenting mistakes of his own. Her daughter is pregnant yet struggling to give up her own adolescence. And her eldest seems to measure his adult life according to standards no one else shares. But who gets to decide, so many years later, which long-ago lapses were the ones that mattered? Who decides which apologies really count? It might be that only Astrid’s thirteen-year-old granddaughter and her new friend really understand the courage it takes to tell the truth to the people you love the most. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: For some reason, it took me a long time to get through this book. I had to renew it at only 30% finished after its 2-week library loan expired, but was able to immediately re-borrow it. Once back into it, I finished it quickly, though. It’s a nice, light read with a gay character and a trans character, which surpisingly didn’t make me like it any more than I might otherwise have. As one might expect, a lot of family dysfunction is exposed as we look at the life cycle of kids becoming parents, grandchildren becoming teenagers, and the matriarch of the family looking back at mistakes she made raising her kids and trying to assess the impact of those mistakes on them. One thing that really resonated with me was when one family member shared a secret that they’d been perseverating over for many, many years. The secret revolved around an incident with another family member—a family member with whom, when she finally got the courage to discuss it with, didn’t even remember the incident! I had this same experience once in my life, and I loved the way the author described the scene in this book.
Olive, Again book cover Book: Olive, Again Author: Elizabeth Strout
Pages: 304 Duration: 10/29/20 – 11/01/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Literary fiction, short stories
🔖10-word summary: Olive ages gaining some self-awareness and experiencing some personal growth 🖌6-word review: Mostly enough Olive amidst many characters
Description:* Olive, Again will pick up where Olive Kitteridge left off, following the next decade of Olive’s life – through a second marriage, an evolving relationship with her son, and encounters with a cast of memorable characters in the seaside town of Crosby, Maine. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I enjoyed this telling of the next decase of Olive Kitteridge’s life. Like its prequel, it’s told in short stories, a couple of which hardly mention Olive at all, which I went back and forth on liking and disliking. I find that in the stories that contained very little of her, I had a hard time keeping track of some of the characters in them (espeically the ones with more than 3 or 4 characters in them), because I wasn’t invested in them, and knew they would mostly be fleeting with regards to the rest of the book. Now that I’ve finished both books, I’d be interesting in watching the HBO miniseries about them, but only if or when it becomes available for free.
Olive Kitteridge book cover Book: Olive Kitteridge Author: Elizabeth Strout
Pages: 280 Duration: 10/25/20 – 10/28/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Literary fiction, short stories
🔖10-word summary: Olive is one tough cookie, although even she sometimes crumbles 🖌6-word review: Great portrait of our flawed humanity
Description:* At times stern, at other times patient, at times perceptive, at other times in sad denial, Olive Kitteridge, a retired schoolteacher, deplores the changes in her little town and in the world at large, but she doesn’t always recognize the changes in those around her: a lounge musician haunted by a past romance: a former student who has lost the will to live: Olive’s own adult child, who feels tyrannized by her irrational sensitivities; and Henry, who finds his loyalty to his marriage both a blessing and a curse. As the townspeople grapple with their problems, mild and dire, Olive is brought to a deeper understanding of herself and her life–sometimes painfully, but always with ruthless honesty. Olive Kitteridge offers profound insights into the human condition–its conflicts, its tragedies and joys, and the endurance it requires. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I didn’t realize when I started this book that it’s “not quite a novel and not quite a collection of short stories, but more like a series of vignettes.” Before I figured out what was going on, whenever a new chapter started with characters I didn’t recognize, I’d spend a little too much time wondering, “Now who are these people again?” when they weren’t “again” at all. Beyond that, I really enjoyed this book, and I can see why it was made into an HBO miniseries, and I can totally imagine Frances McDormand nailing the part of Olive. My favorite part of the book (not a spoiler) was when Olive overhears her daughter-in-law talking about her and that moment when someone realizes, “Oh my god; I’m not at all the person I think I am.” I liked this book enough to not only read its sequel, but to read it immediately after finishing this one. Most times I don’t read sequels at all.
The Trolley Car Family book cover Book: The Trolley Car Family Author: Eleanor Clymer
Pages: 216 Duration: 10/23/20 – 10/24/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, children, humor
🔖10-word summary: Ma, pa, kids live stereotypically, and it works out beautifully 🖌6-word review: Little trolley car on the prarie
Description:* Something is wrong. Cranky Mr. Jefferson is sure of it. Those noisy Parker children next door are much too quiet. Something is wrong at the Parker home. Pa Parker has just lost his job. Pa has been driving a trolley car for years. Now the trolley car company is changing to busses. Drive a new-fangled bus? Not Pa Parker! No wonder all the Parkers are worried. But if Pa doesn’t have a job, he does have a trolley car. And what could be more sensible than living in a trolley ’til Pa gets another job. So off they go–Ma and Pa Parker, Sally, Bill, George and Little Peter—and of all people, cranky Mr. Jefferson too. Bouncing and bumping on the trolley tracks, they park their new home at the last stop. It’s the end of the line for the trolley car, but it’s a beginning of fun and adventure for the trolley car family. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: Bob read this book as a child and remembered really liking it, and several months ago he came across it on a used book website and bought it. He thought being up here would be good opportunity to read it, which he did, and I picked it up when he was done. This is definite a “period piece”—set in a time when stereotypes abounded about women doing indoor/housework and men doing the outdoor/yardwork. It’s very “Little House on the Prairie” with the ma and pa references and the kids being pretty much the perfect kids—I mean they even stopped recreational activities like playing baseball to enthusiastically do all the things that needed to be done to keep their household running. Hardly anything bad happens to this family, and when it does, it all happens in one day, and it’s nothing catastrophic. It’s a very benign story, and reads easily. Can it be that it was so simple then, or has time re-written every line?
A Higher Loyalty book cover Book: A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership Author: James Comey
Pages: 290 Duration: 10/16/20 – 10/24/20 (9 days)
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ Genres: Nonfiction, memoir, politics, leadership
🔖10-word summary: Former FBI director highlights the mafia, Martha Stewart, and 45. 🖌6-word review: Book club book I didn’t love
Description:* Former FBI Director James Comey shares his never-before-told experiences from some of the highest-stakes situations of his career in the past two decades of American government, exploring what good, ethical leadership looks like, and how it drives sound decisions. His journey provides an unprecedented entry into the corridors of power, and a remarkable lesson in what makes an effective leader. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I debated a lot about whether I should count this book, because I skimmed through a lot of it. I’m really not interested in reading about politics, especially during this time leading up to the 2020 elections, but this was a book club book, and one of the reasons I’m in a book club is to read books I might not normally read. A lot of the first half of the book was about Comey’s time prosecuting the mafia (in which I have zero interest), and then a section about prosecuting Martha Stewart (in whom I have zero interest). I spent a lot of time anxious for him to get to his “present-day situation,” which led up to his firing. I gave this book a 2-star rating for those reasons, but if you’re into politics, you might really like it. One of our book club members, who is a mid-level manager in her job, liked several of the ideas he shared on leadership.
Normal People book cover Book: Normal People Author: Sally Rooney
Pages: 268 Duration: 10/10/20 – 10/11/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Fiction, romance, Irish culture
🔖10-word summary: A tale of an at-times strange, wonderful, and confounding relationship 🖌6-word review: Impressive writing about complex psychological relationship
Description:* Connell Waldron is one of the most popular boys in his small-town high school—he is a star of the football team, an excellent student, and never wanting for attention from girls. What he doesn’t have is money. Marianne Sheridan, a classmate, has the opposite problem. She is plain-looking, odd, and stubborn, and while her family is quite well off, she has no friends to speak of. There is, however, a deep and undeniable connection between the two teenagers, one that develops into a secret relationship. Everything changes when they’re both accepted to Trinity College. Suddenly Marianne is well liked and elegant, holding court with her intellectual friends, while Connell hangs at the sidelines, not quite as fluent in the language of the elite. Throughout their years at university, Marianne and Connell circle each other, falling in and out of romance but never straying far from where they started. And as Marianne experiments with an increasingly dangerous string of boyfriends, Connell must decide how far he is willing to go to save his oldest friend. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: It’s hard to put my finger on exactly why I liked this book as much as I did, but it’s something to do with how the author was able to sustain the unconventional way the protagonist couple responded to each other. It was also written in a way that I kept alternating between pulling for them and wanting them to (permanently) call it quits. There is a lot going on in this story with regards to themes explored, which included first love, class difference, family dynamics and dysfunction, sexual deviation, and mental health to name several. I did wish both of these characters would have considered therapy—individually and/or as a couple. Well, Connell did do a short stint of therapy; but Marianne, who arguably could have benefited more from it, never did. I’m a little ambivalent about the ending, but if I had to make a binary decision, it would be thumbs up over thumbs down.
Jackie: Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children book cover Book: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children Author: Ransom Riggs
Pages: 352 Duration: 10/05/20 – 10/07/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ Genres: Fiction, fantasy, mystery, horror, time travel
🔖10-word summary: Searching for answers about his grandpa, Jacob finds more-than-peculiar children. 🖌6-word review: Lost interest just past halfway through
Description:* A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. A horrific family tragedy sets 16-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I will start my review by saying that I’m not a fan of the science fiction, fantasy, or horror genres, and that I’m not sure why I thought this book might fall more in the “magical realism” genre, but I was wrong. I also thought that since I’d recently read a time-travel book that I really enjoyed, I’d give this one a try. With regards to time travel, one of the things I liked about it in The Time Traveler’s Wife was that it wasn’t complicated. In this book, there were a lot of “rules and conditions” around it, which really distracts me, because I spend a lot of time thinking about whether a certain incident is or isn’t violating them. I also hate learning new words that are only going to last for one book (e.g., peculiars, wights, hollows, & ymbrynes), and my mind just doesn’t do well with suspending disbelief long enough until I get a good understanding of them. This is a big reason I don’t like sci-fi & fantasy. I do get that these are all my own neuroses, and I’m not making any judgment about people who do like those genres. With regards to horror, I lost interest shortly after the halfway mark when it became clear that the “monsters” they were referring to were “real” monsters as opposed to “figurative demons” that I was holding thinking of them as. With all that said, I did think the origin of the book was great. From the author: “A few years ago, I started collecting vintage snapshots—the kind you can find in loose piles at most flea markets for 50 cents or a buck apiece. It was just a casual hobby, nothing serious, but I noticed that among the photos I found, the strangest and most intriguing ones were always of children. I began to wonder who some of these strange-looking children had been—what their stories were—but the photos were old and anonymous and there was no way to know. So I thought: If I can’t know their real stories, I’ll make them up.” Although my 2-star rating includes: “Would not recommend,” I’ve heard from enough people that like sci-fi, fantasy, & horror who loved it that I would recommend it with that caveat.
Jackie: Her Transformation from First Lady to Jackie O. book cover Book: Jackie: Her Transformation from First Lady to Jackie O. Author: Paul Brandus
Pages: 240 Duration: 09/26/20 – 10/02/20 (7 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: Nonfiction, biography
🔖10-word summary: Jackie slowly and painfully transforms from grieving widow to jet-setter. 🖌6-word review: Missed errors by editor were distracting.
Description:* The five years between her marriages to JFK and Onassis are often overlooked. But it was an incredible period of growth and change for Jackie. How did the world’s most famous woman remain so enigmatic? What was she really like? This book reveals the real Jackie, the one that hid behind her trademark large sunglasses. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I should preface this with the fact that, being from Massachusetts, I’m a huge Kennedy fan. I enjoyed reading this somewhat darker, but understandable, side of Jackie and her grieving process. I was surprised to learn that she was such a control freak with regards to the national and lasting narrative that she wanted about JFK’s life and legacy. I also had no idea that she was abusing alcohol so much and was suicidal at times, especially in the first two years after JFK’s assassination. But, while I loved the story, which is why I gave it 4 stars instead of 3, I was tempted to give it 3 simply due to the number of errors missed by the editor(s). I noticed 8 total, and I’m sure I missed a couple. The ones I saw included: a missing word in a couple of places, using the wrong verb tense, one instance of transposed words, a missing hyphen, using the plural instead of the singular (i.e., “…Jackie, for the fifth year in a row, was ranked as the most admired women in the world.”), and a mixed metaphor. The problem with editing errors, is that—at least for me, as an editor by profession—once you see one or two, then you’re on the lookout for them the whole time. And that was distracting to me. With that said, if you like the Kennedys, or just Jackie, and you’re not distracted by editing errors, then I would recommend this book. I’m also appreciative that it was loaned to me by a friend. Thanks, Sam!
Educated book cover Book: Educated Author: Tara Westover
Pages: 336 Duration: 09/22/20 – 09/25/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: Nonfiction, memoir, education, religion
🔖10-word summary: Education amidst the intersection of religious fanaticism and mental illness 🖌6-word review: Sometimes fascinating. Sometimes infuriating. Always compelling.
Description:* Tara Westover grew up preparing for the End of Days. She spent her summers bottling peaches and her winters rotating emergency supplies, hoping that when the World of Men failed, her family would continue on, unaffected. She hadn’t been registered for a birth certificate. She had no school records because she’d never set foot in a classroom, and no medical records because her father didn’t believe in doctors or hospitals. According to the state and federal government, she didn’t exist. As she grew older, her father became more radical, and her brother, more violent. At 16, Tara decided to educate herself. Her struggle for knowledge would take her far from her Idaho mountains, over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d travelled too far. If there was still a way home. *Adapted from goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: There was a lot to like about this book, although it wasn’t easy to read at times. I experienced an emotional roller coaster while reading it—from fascinated to frustrated to incredulous, and from booing her to cheering her to aching for her. I thought she did a good job portraying the absolute psychological chaos at the intersection of religious fanaticism and mental illness. At times, in addition to what this woman and the rest of this family was experiencing, I thought about gay people—in terms of some religions’ incredibly harmful effects on people, their psyches, and sometimes their entire lives (up to and including ending it). I’m glad she finally excised herself from her family (for the most part), but for her sake in life, I wish she’d’ve been able to do it sooner.
Happy and You Know It book cover Book: Happy and You Know It Author: Laura Hankin
Pages: 383 Duration: 09/20/20 – 09/21/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: womens literary fiction, contemporary
🔖10-word summary: Musician takes job singing for a playgroup of overprivileged babies 🖌6-word review: Top-of-mind adjective describing book is “fluff”
Description:* After her former band shot to superstardom without her, Claire reluctantly agrees to a gig as a playgroup musician for wealthy infants on New York’s Park Avenue. Claire is surprised to discover that she is smitten with her new employers, a welcoming clique of wellness addicts with impossibly shiny hair, who whirl from juice cleanse to overpriced miracle vitamins to spin class with limitless energy. There is perfect hostess Whitney who is on the brink of social-media stardom and just needs to find a way to keep her flawless life from falling apart. Caustically funny, recent stay-at-home mom Amara who is struggling to embrace her new identity. And old money, veteran mom Gwen who never misses an opportunity to dole out parenting advice. But as Claire grows closer to the stylish women who pay her bills, she uncovers secrets and betrayals that no amount of activated charcoal can fix. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I downloaded this book, because it was available for immediate download on Libby, and I needed a replacement for yet another library book I borrowed whose font was smaller than was comfortable reading, so I’d kept putting it off. The first word that comes to mind about this book is “fluff.” It reminded me a little bit of Brunch at Ruby’s at times (the complex relationships among the women part), and of Nine Perfect Strangers at times (the “TrueMommy” part), the former of which I read earlier this year and the latter of which I read in February 2019. The “contemporary” genre type assigned to this book was due to its heavy inclusion of Instagram in the storyline. It wasn’t a bad book, but it’s not one I would recommend unless someone was specifically looking for something fairly mindless to read. (Not that there’s anything wrong with reading mindless work.)
Lady Susan book cover Book: Lady Susan Author: Jane Austen
Pages: 82 Duration: 09/14/20 – 09/16/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, classics, romance, 19th century literature
🔖10-word summary: Scheming siren seeks suitable spouse for herself and her heir 🖌6-word review: An impressive, classic, Austen epistolary novel
Description:* Beautiful, flirtatious, and recently widowed, Lady Susan Vernon seeks an advantageous second marriage for herself, while attempting to push her daughter into a dismal match. A magnificently crafted novel of Regency manners and mores that will delight Austen enthusiasts with its wit and elegant expression. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I was made aware of this epistolary novel after watching a movie, Love & Friendship, which is based on it. I found the character of Lady Susan wickedly snarky, and then I found out Jane Austen’s book was named after that character, and then I found out that Jane Austen wrote this book when she was 14 years old. To be quite honest, that’s the main reason I gave the book 5 stars. It’s unfathomable to me that a 14-year-old could not only know many of the vocabulary words used in the book, but have a maturity level at 14 to so convincingly write about adult interactions and situations with such impressive nuance and innuendo. All that, and I laughed out loud several times while reading it.
Come to the Edge book cover Book: Come to the Edge Author: Christina Haag
Pages: 271 Duration: 09/08/20 – 09/12/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: nonfiction, memoir, romance
🔖10-word summary: Christina shares—without exploitation—her bittersweet relationship with JFK Jr. 🖌6-word review: Evocative assessment of love and life
Description:* When Christina Haag was growing up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, John F. Kennedy, Jr., was just one of the boys in her circle of prep school friends, a skinny kid who lived with his mother and sister on Fifth Avenue and who happened to have a Secret Service detail following him at a discreet distance at all times. A decade later, after they had both graduated from Brown University and were living in New York City, Christina and John were cast in an off-Broadway play together. It was then that John confessed his long-standing crush on her, and they embarked on a five-year love affair. Glamorous and often in the public eye, but also passionate and deeply intimate, their relationship was transformative for both of them. With exquisite prose, Haag paints a portrait of a young man with an enormous capacity for love, and an adventurous spirit that drove him to live life to its fullest. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I’ll admit right off that my initial realization reading this book was that what I really wanted to read was JFK Jr.’s memoirs. It took Christina a while to get to the point where John was in the picture to the level that I was satisfied with, and I was impatient waiting for it to get there. In her defense, however, this was her memoir, so starting off sharing about her childhood and how she came to know and be with John was certainly legit. And to her credit, it was well written—as is the entire book. In the end, I thought it was a kind, generous, and painfully honest at times look at what seemed like “real” love. And by that I mean, love in all of it’s complicated facets, messy incidents, tough decisions, and the balance between self and couple. I also liked that she didn’t trash any of the other many women that John pursued—some just dalliances, some more substantial than that. After I finished the book—with the duration and intensity of Christina and John’s relationship laid bare—I was stunned to read how she was incorporated into John’s Wikipedia entry, which basically highlights his relationships with famous women in a way that intimates they were the most significant. About his relationship with Christina, it simply says, “Also during this time, Kennedy dated Christina Haag. They had known each other as children, and she also attended Brown University.” It comes across as a mere, “Oh yeah, by the way…,” which so misses the mark.
The Time Traveler's Wife book cover Book: The Time Traveler’s Wife Author: Audrey Niffenegger
Pages: 540 Duration: 09/03/20 – 09/07/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, romance, magical realism
🔖10-word summary: “Time is doing” Henry, while wife Clare is “doing time” 🖌6-word review: Time-travel story absent a time machine
Description:* Clare, a beautiful art student, and Henry, an adventuresome librarian, have known each other since Clare was 6 and Henry was 36 and were married when Clare was 23 and Henry 31. Impossible but true, because Henry is one of the first people diagnosed with Chrono-Displacement Disorder: periodically his genetic clock resets and he finds himself misplaced in time, pulled to moments of emotional gravity in his life, past and future. His disappearances are spontaneous, his experiences unpredictable, alternately harrowing and amusing. The story depicts the effects of time travel on Henry and Clare’s marriage and their passionate love for each other as the story unfolds from both points of view. Clare and Henry attempt to live normal lives, pursuing familiar goals—steady jobs, good friends, children of their own. All of this is threatened by something they can neither prevent nor control, making their story intensely moving and entirely unforgettable. *From goodreads.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I’m not a science fiction fan at all, but I became aware of this book by way of a friend’s Facebook timeline post that asked, “What’s your favorite time travel story and why?” Several people responded about this book with comments such as “So complicated and so many tears,” “sobbed the last 100 pages,” and “It so beautifully captured love that I included a quote from it in my wedding vows.” Then when I posted on my own timeline that I had picked it up from the library, I got comments like, “Loved that book,” “That’s a beautiful book,” and “One of my all-time favorite books.” Although this book is not without its negative reviews on goodreads.com, count me as a fan. I liked that there was no complicated “time machine” (no time machine at all) involved in this story. I also liked how each travel incident was time-stamped, including the age of the traveler at the time to help keep track of what was happening when. Although this book is categorized in both the “science fiction” and “magical realism” genres, I experienced it more as magical realism. Although, one could argue that the introduction of the “chrono-displacement disorder,” and the storyline around that, make it science fiction. In any case, I really enjoyed it, and since I really love stories without happy endings, that was an extra bonus, although I expected it with that one comment about sobbing through the last 100 pages.
A Visit from the Goon Squad book cover Book: A Visit from the Goon Squad Author: Jennifer Egan
Pages: 337 Duration: 08/28/20 – 08/31/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: literary fiction, music
🔖10-word summary: People’s lives contextualized by time, relationships, and even PowerPoint slides 🖌6-word review: Purportedly important; takes a disciplined reading
Description:* Jennifer Egan’s spellbinding novel circles the lives of Bennie Salazar, an ageing former punk rocker and record executive, and Sasha, the passionate, troubled young woman he employs. Although Bennie and Sasha never discover each other’s pasts, the reader does, in intimate detail, along with the secret lives of a host of other characters whose paths intersect with theirs, over many years, in locales as varied as New York, San Francisco, Naples, and Africa. *From amazon.com’s synopsis.
Thoughts: I came by this book by way of the Nicholas Carr on deep reading and digital thinking episode of The Ezra Klein Show podcast in which they discuss “how speaking, reading, and now the internet have each changed our brains in different ways, why ‘paying attention’ doesn’t come naturally to us, why we’re still reading Marshall McLuhan, how human memory actually works, why having your phone in sight makes you less creative, what separates ‘deep reading’ from simply reading, why deep reading is getting harder, why building connections is more important than absorbing information, the benefits to collapsing the world into a connected digital community, and much more.” Carr recommends 3 books in that podcast of which this is one. I rarely re-read books, but this is one that I’d like to re-read one day, and I know sooner would be better than later, but I also know that’s probably not going to happen. There are a lot of characters, and they appear in the book in different places in their lives, but not always in the chronological order of their lives. I do like when an author stops for a second and tells you something about a character that’s going to happen to them in their future, which happened with a few characters in this book. I’m not sure I would have picked up on the “deep meaning” of this book, or understand why it was a Pulitzer Prize winner, probably because it’s pretty much completely by metaphor, and I was expending a lot of energy on trying to remember all of the characters. That’s the reason I’d like to read it again. Also, distracting me throughout was the fact that I knew one of the chapters was presented as a PowerPoint slide presentation, and I kept anticipating it being next. FWIW (possible spoiler alert—if knowing when the PowerPoint slide is going to appear in a novel is a trigger for you), it’s not until chapter 12, so relax.
This is Where I Leave You book cover Book: This is Where I Leave You Author: Jonathan Tropper
Pages: 388 Duration: 08/23/20 – 08/26/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, humor, family, Jewish culture
🔖10-word summary: Family dysfunction on display for seven days of Shiva sitting 🖌6-word review: I literally laughed out loud often
Description:* Judd Foxman’s father has died and it’s the first time in a decade that the entire Foxman family—including Judd’s mother, brothers, and sister have been together in the same house for an extended period. Conspicuously absent: Judd’s wife, Jen, whose 14-month affair with Judd’s radio-shock-jock boss has recently become painfully public. The typical Foxman family gathering ends with car doors slamming and tires screeching as various factions scatter to nurse their resentments in private. But this time around, the Foxmans reluctantly submit to their father’s dying request: to spend the 7 days following the funeral together. In the same house. Like a real family. For Judd it’s a week-long opportunity to come to terms with his father’s death, his failed marriage, and to explain the mess his life has become to a never-ending parade of people he thought he might never see again. Which would be bad enough without the bomb Jen dropped the day Judd’s father died. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: The reviews of this book are mixed—it’s one that people seem to either love or hate. I’m in the former camp. I laughed out loud many times while reading this book. It might be that it’s “just my kind of humor,” but one of the things about humorous books that really turns me off is when it comes across like the author thinks they’re funnier than I think they are. That definitely did not happen for me in this one. While reading this, I learned that this was a 2014 movie with Jane Fonda starring as the mother, and right after that, I got to the part in the book where they compare the mother to Jane Fonda, which triggered some vague memory about that being in the news when that movie came out. With all that said, I looked at the trailer for the movie, and I have to say that if I hadn’t read the book, I probably wouldn’t be interested in watching it. But I did, and I am.
All You Can Ever Know book cover Book: All You Can Ever Know Author: Nicole Chung
Pages: 240 Duration: 08/19/20 – 08/20/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, memoir, adoption, race, Korean culture
🔖10-word summary: Korean Nikki’s lifelong processing of adoption by a white family 🖌6-word review: An enlightening consideration of transracial adoption
Description:* Nicole Chung’s All you Can Ever Know is a beautiful memoir that explores her experience of growing up adopted in a white family and then, in her 20s, connecting with her Korean birth family while she is pregnant with her first child. The book offers a thoughtful meditation on racial identity, sisterhood, parenting and learning who you really are, both separate from and because of where you come from. Chung has no easy answers on multiracial adoption or family dynamics, but her nuanced take on her upbringing and the different kinds of families in her life is what makes this memoir such a deeply satisfying read. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I really enjoyed this book, because it was well written and so honest. I would highly recommend it for anyone who is considering adopting a child who is not of the same race as your family. There were also things in this book that resonated for me in terms of being the only person like you in your own family—having grown up as a gay person in a family of heterosexuals. (Not that there’s anything wrong with heterosexuals; I know they were born that way.)
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry book cover Book: The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry Author: Gabrielle Zevin
Pages: 290 Duration: 08/17/20 – 08/17/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, books about books, romance
🔖10-word summary: Fikry gets a chance to turn his deteriorating life around 🖌6-word review: Great characters, literary allusions, and story
Description:* A. J. Fikry’s wife has died; his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history; and now his prized possession, a rare collection of Poe poems, has been stolen. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island. Even the books in his store have stopped holding pleasure for him. These days, he can only see them as a sign of a world that is changing too rapidly. And then a mysterious package appears at the bookstore. It’s a small package, though large in weight—an unexpected arrival that gives A.J. the opportunity to make his life over, the ability to see everything anew. It doesn’t take long for the locals to notice the change overcoming A.J., for the determined sales rep Amelia to see her curmudgeonly client in a new light, for the wisdom of all those books to become again the lifeblood of A.J.’s world. Or for everything to twist again into a version of his life that he didn’t see coming. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This was a quick, easy read for me. Books, a bookstore, and book clubs are an integral part of the story, which appealed to me greatly. This book alludes to a lot of stories, books, plays, and authors (see a list of them), and when I searched goodreads.com for one of the books mentioned early on in this story, The Late Bloomer by Leon Friedman, to see what it was about, I was surprised to find an entry there that said it wasn’t a real book. I love that someone took the time to create that entry, and it made me wonder how many times people search for books that don’t really exist when seeing them mentioned in another book, and what percentage of those have entries like this one for them. One of the “real” books mentioned in this book was Bel Canto, which I just read last month and had never heard of until I read it—and here it is. Funny how that happens.
The Snowy Day book cover Book: The Snowy Day Author: Ezra Jack Keats
Pages: 40 Duration: 08/16/20 – 08/16/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, children, picture, classic, African-American culture
🔖10-word summary: Witness Peter exploring his neighborhood after the season’s first snowfall 🖌6-word review: First child African-American protagonist picture book
Description:* The Snowy Day is a 1962 children’s picture book by American author and illustrator Ezra Jack Keats. It features Peter, an African-American boy, who explores his neighborhood after the season’s first snowfall. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: While educating myself about race, I came across this children’s picture book, which I’d never heard of in spite of it being an award-winning children’s book that was written 58 years ago (in 1962) and has been translated into at least 10 languages. The artwork is beautiful and the story delightfully captures the wonder of a child’s first snowfall. Read it to your children or grand-children if you have any and haven’t already done so.
Bad Blood book cover Book: Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup Author: John Carreyrou
Pages: 353 Duration: 08/12/20 – 08/15/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, business, true crime, science, technology
🔖10-word summary: A female Silicon Valley startup CEO’s spectacular rise and fall 🖌6-word review: Compelling investigative reporting, now a documentary
Description:* In 2014, Theranos founder and CEO Elizabeth Holmes was widely seen as the female Steve Jobs: a brilliant Stanford dropout whose startup “unicorn” promised to revolutionize the medical industry with a machine that would make blood tests significantly faster and easier. Backed by investors such as Larry Ellison and Tim Draper, Theranos sold shares in a fundraising round that valued the company at $9 billion, putting Holmes’s worth at an estimated $4.7 billion. There was just one problem: The technology didn’t work. For years, Holmes had been misleading investors, FDA officials, and her own employees. When Carreyrou, working at The Wall Street Journal, got a tip from a former Theranos employee and started asking questions, both Carreyrou and the Journal were threatened with lawsuits. Undaunted, the newspaper ran the first of dozens of Theranos articles in late 2015. By early 2017, the company’s value was zero and Holmes faced potential legal action from the government and her investors. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I was turned on to this book by my doctor at my annual physical, at whose end we talked about what each of us was reading. I vaguely remember this “going down” when the story broke in the Wall Street Journal, but I didn’t pay much attention to the particulars. I found this book’s telling of it a riveting account of Elizabeth Holmes’ meteoric rise, including details on her thought processes, how she treated employees, and how she hoodwinked so many high-profile and smart people for so long. She is currently awaiting trail, charged with 2 counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud and 9 counts of wire fraud and faces up to 20 years in prison. (Her trial keeps getting postponed; see the lasted on it.) HBO made a documentary about this story called The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley, which I plan to watch. ABC Audio also did a 7-episode podcast about it called The Dropout (Elizabeth was a Stanford dropout), which I may or may not listen to in the future. I will probably follow at least some of the trial whenever it finally happens.
The Black Flamingo book cover Book: The Black Flamingo Author: Dean Atta
Pages: 416 Duration: 08/11/20 – 08/12/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, LGBT, verse
🔖10-word summary: Mixed-race Michael explores his identity and the power of drag 🖌6-word review: A verse novel and easy read
Description:* Michael is a mixed-race gay teen growing up in London. All his life, he’s navigated what it means to be Greek-Cypriot and Jamaican—but never quite feeling Greek or Black enough. As he gets older, Michael’s coming out is only the start of learning who he is and where he fits in. When he discovers the Drag Society, he finally finds where he belongs—and the Black Flamingo is born. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I checked out this book (figuratively and literally) after it was mentioned in our Red Hat Pride chatroom. This is my second verse novel. The first one was The Golden Gate, which I read in November of 2018, and which “was composed of 590 sonnets (Onegin stanzas written in iambic tetrameter, with the rhyme scheme following the AbAbCCddEffEgg pattern of Eugene Onegin).” The Black Flamingo was far easier to read than that one, and I flew through it. I read it on my Kindle, and I’m still finding it hard to believe it was 416 pages. I’m not a huge poetry fan, but that didn’t deter me from enjoying this book. I loved, loved, loved, the open-mic poem that Michael (a mixed-race, gay teen who grew up in London and is part Greek-Cypriot and part Jamaican, but has never quite felt Greek or Black enough) performs: I Come From, whose first 2 (of 8) stanzas were:
I come from shepherd’s pie and Sunday roast, jerk chicken and stuffed grape leaves. I come from traveling through taste buds but loving where I live. I come from a home that some would call broken.I come from DIY that never got done. I come from waiting by the phone for him to call. I come from waving the white flag to loneliness. I come from the rainbow flag and the Union Jack.
 
Brunch at Ruby's book cover Book: Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Author: Lori Gottlieb
Pages: 413 Duration: 08/06/20 – 08/10/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, memoir, psychology, health
🔖10-word summary: Therapist talks about her patients, and herself as a patient 🖌6-word review: Vulnerable nonfiction at its very best
Description:* One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but. As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients’ lives—a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can’t stop hooking up with the wrong guys—she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I loved this book. The author is actually a professional therapist, so this is nonfiction and a memoir. I thought she did an exceptional job of several things:
  1. The way she shared the stories of the 4 patients she chose to highlight throughout the book.
  2. How she changed the details of those patients’ stories so as to protect their identities in a way that didn’t at all detract from the telling about the issues they were facing and her assessment of them.
  3. The way she wove in her personal issues and the therapy she decided to enter in the midst of a crisis in her own life, especially about the second guessing she was doing about her therapist at the beginning of their sessions.
  4. How she sprinkled in psychological concepts and therapist nomenclature with both definitions and examples easily understood by lay-people.
  5. Opening herself up to personal and professional scrutiny by potentially millions of readers.
This is definitely in my top 3, if not the top, books of the 43 I’ve read so far this year.
Brunch at Ruby's book cover Book: Brunch at Ruby’s Author: D.L. White
Pages: 373 Duration: 08/01/20 – 08/04/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: womens fiction, romance, African-American culture
🔖10-word summary: Three, lifelong, female friends brunch monthly to share life’s journeys 🖌6-word review: Written from three points of view
Description:* Ruby’s Soul Food Cafe has been the neighborhood hot spot their whole lives, so it’s only fitting that Ruby’s is where Debra, Maxine and Renee meet monthly to do what girlfriends do– eat, drink and offer unsolicited advice on life and love. Debra Macklin has it all: a successful career, a long marriage and a happy 12 year old daughter. But she’s hiding a secret that could not only shatter her perfect image, but destroy her marriage and career. When her secret is spilled, Debra is poised to lose everything she holds dear. Maxine Donovan is a self made woman but despite all she earns and owns, she’s on a constant quest for Mr. Right. Handsome, aloof Malcolm Brooks might just be The One, but when Malcolm’s attention turns toward her friend instead, Maxine is ready to risk a strong bond to fight for him. Renee Gladwell left a lucrative job and a handsome boyfriend to nurse her father and Gladwell Books back to health. A temporary stay has turned into four years of struggling with Alzheimer’s and a family owned bookstore that is in no shape to sell. Renee is in limbo, caring for a man who is slowly forgetting his past—including her. When she meets Malcolm Brooks, her life brightens, but is love worth risking a friendship? *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I got this book as a free download from BookBub, and it was a nice, light read in comparison with a lot of “heavy” books I’ve been reading recently. It was also nice to read on a Kindle again, as I’ve read 2 or 3 printed books lately with too-small of font than I prefer. (Thank goodness I got new glasses recently.) I could have sworn that I read somewhere that this was a self-published book, but I can’t corroborate it anywhere now. Thinking that, I was hyper-aware of editing issues, but I was delighted to not find many. There were 3 instances of a missing word in a sentence, but not consistent grammatical errors or typos, etc. Enough of all that. I thought all 3 of the main characters were well-developed, and I liked having insight into both good and bad qualities of each. I thought the ups and downs of their 30-year relationship were realistic and one review characterized it as one that “bends, but never breaks.” Reading this book, I thought on and off about the Mostly Social Book Club that I’ve been a member of for 28 years and meets monthly—not at “Ruby’s,” but at (rotating locations of) Panera Bread (when we could meet in person).
Bel Canto book cover Book: Bel Canto Author: Ann Patchett
Pages: 318 Duration: 07/26/20 – 08/01/20 (7 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: literary fiction, music
🔖10-word summary: A kidnapping goes awry, and four-and-a-half months of complacency ensues 🖌6-word review: Virtuoso performance sprinkled with dry humor
Description:* Somewhere in South America at the home of the country’s vice president, a lavish birthday party is being held in honor of Mr. Hosokawa, a powerful Japanese businessman. Roxanne Coss, opera’s most revered soprano, has mesmerized the guests with her singing. It is a perfect evening, until a band of terrorists breaks in, taking the entire party hostage. But what begins as a life-threatening scenario slowly evolves into something quite different. Friendship, compassion, and the chance for great love lead the characters to forget the real danger that has been set in motion and cannot be stopped. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I really loved this book, and I don’t think it’s because I like opera, but I’m pretty sure that added to my enjoyment. There were several striking—beautifully written—passages that I quoted on Facebook after reading, and I thoroughly enjoyed the author’s sprinkling of dry humor throughout, at several of which I “chuckled out loud.” And to be honest, the intermittent dry humor was my favorite part of this book. At one point, I checked the genres listed for it to see if “humor” was one of them. (It wasn’t.) From a psychological point of view, I also find the changes in the large group of people—both the captives and the captors—interesting to observe as their predicament aged four-and-a-half months. Don’t let the fact that his story is centered around an opera soprano diva deter you from reading it, and I thank my friend Jean Ells for loaning it to me
What Belongs to You book cover Book: What Belongs to You Author: Garth Greenwell
Pages: 195 Duration: 07/24/20 – 07/25/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: literary fiction, LGBT
🔖10-word summary: A men’s room trick becomes—more or less—an addiction 🖌6-word review: Lyrical prose, includes a 40-page paragraph
Description:* On an unseasonably warm autumn day, an American teacher enters a public bathroom beneath Sofia’s National Palace of Culture. There he meets Mitko, a charismatic young hustler, and pays him for sex. He returns to Mitko again and again over the next few months, drawn by hunger and loneliness and risk, and finds himself ensnared in a relationship in which lust leads to mutual predation, and tenderness can transform into violence. As he struggles to reconcile his longing with the anguish it creates, he’s forced to grapple with his own fraught history, the world of his southern childhood where to be queer was to be a pariah. There are unnerving similarities between his past and the foreign country he finds himself in, a country whose geography and griefs he discovers as he learns more of Mitko’s own narrative, his private history of illness, exploitation, and disease. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: Although I’m not a huge fan of “lyrically written” novels—they’re okay in small doses—this book did have some beautifully written passages. Set in Bulgaria, there were Bulgarian words and phrases sprinkled throughout, almost always followed by a word or phrase set off by commas to translate them, which I appreciated. At one point while reading, I suddenly found myself sort of out of breath and looked down the rest of the page for the next paragraph break but didn’t see one. It was only then that I discovered I was 11 pages into a chapter that was one, long, 40-page paragraph! I’m guessing it was done for effect, but whatever the reason, I wasn’t a fan of it. The first section of this book, called “Mitko,” was first published as a standalone novella by that name, which I could see working. With its opening scene of tricking in a men’s room, one might be tempted to dismiss this book as gay fiction erotica, but it’s definitely not that—not filled with gratuitous sex. It’s more about weighty and universal ideas like differences in power, education, and prosperity; about societal perception and judgment of gay men and sex workers; and touches on the often-complicated relationships between gay men and their fathers. Its overarching theme, though, is about the many facets of desire and its consequences.
A Little Life book cover Book: A Little Life Author: Hanya Yanagihara
Pages: 736 Duration: 07/15/20 – 07/22/20 (8 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: literary fiction, LGBT
🔖10-word summary: Jude harbors unspeakable horrors that scar his body and mind 🖌6-word review: Takes a psychological toll on reader
Description:* When 4 classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they’re broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity. Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I have to agree with several reviews of this book that said, “I loved this book, but I could never read it again.” It’s a great, great story about often excrutiating—both physical and emotional— pain, and it takes a psychological toll on the reader. At least it did on this one. I found Jude’s refusal to get therapy hugely selfish and increasingly infuriating as the book wore on. A criticism I have about the writing is that I felt that the narrative point-of-view was all over the map on it, and it would have been incredibly helpful to have more attribution tags (i.e., “, said Jude,” or “, she said.”) in the writing. It was mostly in 3rd person, with a couple of chapters thrown in with a 1st-person narrator—and it wasn’t the person I’d expect it to be, which just added to the confusion until I figured out who was talking. For that reason, at the beginning of more than one chapter, I was several pages into the chapter before I could figure out who the antecedents were for the “you,” “he,” “she,” or “we” in that chapter. That was a little frustrating, because of the “noise” in my head trying to figure that out instead of focusing on the story being told in those moments. With that said, once I figured it out, it was fine. And speaking of points of view, I found the writing about the male LGBT characters in this book extraordinary, especially considering that the author is a (presumably) straight, cis woman. For reasons I’m not too sure of, at times I found myself thinking of Donna Tartt’s The Secret History (one of my favorite books) while reading this book. And more than once, I found myself thinking, “I wish I could write this well.” I highly recommend this book, but I would also recommend being in an emotionally healthy place, if at all possible, when you read it. It’s the kind of book that should probably come with a trigger warning.
The Family Gathering book cover Book: The Family Gathering Author: Robyn Carr
Pages: 352 Duration: 07/08/20 – 07/12/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, romance
🔖10-word summary: Dakota’s return to his quiet hometown to reconnect escalates quickly 🖌6-word review: Average, book 3 of a series
Description:* Having left the military, Dakota Jones is at a crossroads. With his elder brother and youngest sister happily settled in Sullivan’s Crossing, he shows up hoping to clear his head and is immediately drawn to the down-to-earth people and the seemingly simple way of life. But Dakota is unprepared for how quickly things get complicated. As a newcomer, he’s on everyone’s radar. And spending quality time with his siblings is eye-opening. As he gets to know them, he gets to know himself and what he truly wants. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I’d had this book on hold for a while at the library and initially chose it because it was available in large print and it was fairly highly rated. But, I didn’t realize 2 things about it until I’d started it—it’s book #3 in a 5-book series, and it’s a romance—two qualities in books I didn’t want to read any more of this year. So with that, I went into it with a bad attitude. The story was interesting enough, but the writing seemed a little juvenile to me, so much so that at one point, I checked to see if it was a “Young Adult” book. There were a lot of characters, and I had a hard time keeping up with them at times. I’m sure many of them were in the first 2 books of the series, which I hadn’t read. Overall, it was interesting enough to finish, but certainly not interesting enough to make me want to read any of the other 4 books in the series.
A Dangerous Age book cover Book: A Dangerous Age Author: Ellen Gilchrist
Pages: 245 Duration: 07/05/20 – 07/06/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: literary fiction, American south
🔖10-word summary: Strength abides in three female cousins of the Hand family 🖌6-word review: Clear, direct, no-nonsense look at life
Description:* The story of the women of the Hand family, three cousins in a Southern dynasty rich with history and tradition who are no strangers to either controversy or sadness. By turns humorous and heartbreaking, the novel is a celebration of the strength of these women, and of others like them. In her characteristically clear and direct prose, with its wry, no-nonsense approach to the world and the people who inhabit it, Gilchrist gives voice to women on a collision course with a distant war that, in truth, is never more than a breath away. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I thoroughly enjoyed this story, which was simply told, but about complicated life events and decisions. I had a little trouble keeping the 3 cousins (and their boyfriends/lovers/husbands) straight at times, but the cousin who became the central character, Olivia, was strongly portrayed. The job of Olivia’s husband, Bobby Tree, reminded me so much of the play Grounded, by George Brant, which I saw at Manbites Dog Theater in 2014. I definitely recommend this book, which was loaned to me by my friend Jean Ells, and which I found to be a quick, easy—but not trite—read.
How to be Good book cover Book: How to Be Good Author: Nick Hornby
Pages: 305 Duration: 07/04/20 – 07/05/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, humor
🔖10-word summary: A bad husband turns good, still exasperating to his wife 🖌6-word review: Male author impressively portrays female narrator
Description:* Katie Carr is certainly trying to be good. That’s why she became a GP. That’s why she cares about Third World debt and homelessness, and struggles to raise her children with a conscience. It’s also why she puts up with her husband David, the self-styled Angriest Man in Holloway. But one fateful day, she finds herself in a Leeds parking lot, having just slept with another man. What Katie doesn’t yet realize is that her fall from grace is just the first step on a spiritual journey more torturous than the interstate at rush hour. Because, prompted by his wife’s actions, David is about to stop being angry. He’s about to become good—not politically correct, organic-food-eating good, but good in the fashion of the Gospels. And that’s no easier in modern-day Holloway than it was in ancient Israel. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: Another book loaned to me by my friend Jean Ells, I loved this book, mostly for the way in which it seemed to just keep tightening the screws on the female protagonist and her mostly laugh-out-loud, on-time, and dead-pan sarcasm. And just as everything she hated about her husband “went away” to presumably allow her to climb out of the hole her life had become, she instead managed to keep digging it deeper. The book is also a fascinating, philosophical and psychological look at how tenuous “being good” compared to “being good as long as it remains convenient” really is. This is my first time reading this author, and I thought his female-narrator writing was excellent. I never once thought anything was unrealistic or “off” about her first-person narration.
The Great Believers book cover Book: The Great Believers Author: Rebecca Makkai
Pages: 421 Duration: 06/28/20 – 07/03/20 (7 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: literary fiction, historical fiction, LGBT
🔖10-word summary: Fiona’s 30-year journey of loving, losing, and searching for happiness 🖌6-word review: Great story with believable, heartrending characters
Description:* In 1985, Yale Tishman, the development director for an art gallery in Chicago, is about to pull off an amazing coup, bringing in an extraordinary collection of 1920s paintings as a gift to the gallery. Yet as his career begins to flourish, the carnage of the AIDS epidemic grows around him. One by one, his friends are dying and after his friend Nico’s funeral, the virus circles closer and closer to Yale himself. Soon the only person he has left is Fiona, Nico’s little sister. 30 years later, Fiona is in Paris tracking down her estranged daughter who disappeared into a cult. While staying with an old friend, a famous photographer who documented the Chicago crisis, she finds herself finally grappling with the devastating ways AIDS affected her life and her relationship with her daughter. The two intertwining stories take us through the heartbreak of the eighties and the chaos of the modern world, as both Yale and Fiona struggle to find goodness in the midst of disaster. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I loved this book, which was recommended to me by my friend Jaleh. The story bounces back and forth, by chapter, between (mostly ) 1985 and 2015. When a book does this, I love when each story line is so good that you’re thrilled at the beginning of each chapter to be back to see what happens next in that story line. This is that kind of book. More than once during this book, I recalled Bob showing me old photo albums of him and his friends (way before I was in his life), and pointing to another picture, “He’s dead. He’s dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.” At times this book is a stark reminder of it all.
White Fragility book cover Book: White Fragility Author: Robin DiAngelo
Pages: 187 Duration: 06/12/20 – 06/26/20 (15 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, race, anti-racist, social movements, social justice, politics, psychology
🔖10-word summary: Learn how you’re racist even though you know you’re not 🖌6-word review: Requires intellect and openness to read
Description:* Antiracist educator Robin DiAngelo first coined the term “white fragility” in 2011, and since then it’s been invoked by critics from Samantha Bee to Charles Blow. “White fragility” refers to the defensive moves that white people make when challenged racially. These include emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors including argumentation and silence. In this book, DiAngelo unpacks white fragility, explaining the underlying sociological phenomena. She’ll draw on examples from her work and scholarship, as well as from the culture at large, to address these fundamental questions: How does white fragility develop? What does it look like? How is it triggered? What can we do to move beyond white fragility and engage more constructively? *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: There is so much to learn about racism in this book if you’re willing to open your mind and learn why we (white people) become so defensive when talking about race. If you say, or believe, that any of these things mean you’re not racist, you need to educate yourself about what racism really is: Color blind statements: I was taught to treat everyone the same. I don’t see color. I don’t care if you are pink, purple, or polka-dotted. Race doesn’t have any meaning to me. My parents were/weren’t racist, so that is why I am not racist. Everyone struggles, but if you work hard. So-and-so just happens to be black, but that has nothing to do with what I am about to tell you. Focusing on race is what divides us. If people are respectful to me, I am respectful to them, regardless of race. Children today are so much more open. I’m not racist; I’m from Canada. I was picked on because I was white/I grew up poor (so I don’t have race privilege). Color celebrate statements: I work in a very diverse environment. I have people of color in my family/married a person of color/have children of color. I was in the military. I used to live in New York/Hawaii. We don’t like how white our neighborhood is, but we had to move here for the schools. I was in the Peace Corps. I marched in the 60s. We adopted a child from China. Our grandchildren are multiracial. I was on a mission in Africa. I went to a very diverse school/lived in a very diverse neighborhood. I lived in Japan and was a minority so I know what it is like to be a minority. I lived among the [fill-in-the-blank] people, so I am actually a person of color. My great grandmother was a Native American princess.Please give yourself, and humankind, the gift of reading this book and using the information in your daily lives from then on. As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” Be like Maya Angelou.
Valentine book cover Book: Valentine Author: Elizabeth Wetmore
Pages: 320 Duration: 06/08/20 – 06/20/20 (13 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: historical fiction, literary fiction
🔖10-word summary: Mary Rose defies her family in her defense of Glory 🖌6-word review: Beautiful writing, strong women, compelling story
Description:* It’s February 1976, and Odessa, Texas, stands on the cusp of the next great oil boom. While the town’s men embrace the coming prosperity, its women intimately know and fear the violence that always seems to follow. In the early hours of the morning after Valentine’s Day, 14-year-old Gloria Ramírez appears on the front porch of Mary Rose Whitehead’s ranch house, broken and barely alive. The teenager had been viciously attacked in a nearby oil field—an act of brutality that is tried in the churches and barrooms of Odessa before it can reach a court of law. When justice is evasive, the stage is set for a showdown with potentially devastating consequences. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I had a galley proof version of this book, another loan from my friend Jean Ells. Especially for a first novel, this is a beautifully written book. Each chapter focuses on one of the main characters, the first being Gloria (who quickly insists on being called Glory), and the second being Mary Rose and whose chapters are in first person. I usually read books serially, but I started another book while reading this one and with stepping away from it for a couple of days, and there being a fair member of characters in it, I did have to stop at about the halfway point and create a list of characters and how they related to each other, which helped me tremendously. With this book exploring the intersections of violence, race, class, and region was extra tough reading with the recent killing of George Floyd (May 25) and the extreme racial unrest in the U.S. right now. It was just one more thing that angered me a lot, especially when it got to the chapter about the trial of the boy who raped Glory. I would highly recommend this book, though.
A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You book cover Book: A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You Author: Amy Bloom
Pages: 163 Duration: 06/06/20 – 06/07/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, short stories
🔖10-word summary: “Characters confronted with tragedy, perplexed by emotions, challenged to endure” 🖌6-word review: Loved a story had a “sequel”
Description: Because this book consists of 7 stories (with one having 2 parts, which I’ve designated 3a and 3b), I’m just going to provide a 10-word summary and 6-word review of each of them instead of detailing what each is about: 1st short story: A Blind Man Can See How Much I Love You (collection’s namesake story) Summary: Jane thoughtfully supports her daughter as she becomes her son Review: The kind of support I’d want
2nd short story: Rowing to Eden Summary: Ellie, Charlie, and Mai work through Mai’s breast cancer treatments Review: Interesting permutations of only suggestive couplings
3a short story: Lionel and Julia: Night Vision Summary: A black man and his white stepmother transgress one time Review: A just-long-enough short story that continues
3b short story: Lionel and Julia: Light Into Dark Summary: Six years later, man and stepmother superficially contemplate the incident Review: “A consideration of consequences and healing”
4th short story: Stars at Elbow and Foot Summary: A mother works through the grief of losing her baby Review: A believable account of processing a death
5th short story: Hold Tight Summary: Della’s year with a dying mother and a ghost-like father Review: Short tale with a touching ending
6th short story: The Gates Are Closing Summary: A mistress monitors her married lover’s decline with Parkinson’s disease Review: The perspective of an unlikely narrator
7th short story: The Story Summary: Author writes about a story an author’s trying to write Review: Serious example of an unreliable narrator
Thoughts: This is another of the books loaned to me by my friend Jean Ells. I didn’t realized until I got to the end of the first story that this was yet another collection of short stories. This is my fourth book of short stories, which is plenty enough for one year. I’ll be checking to make sure I don’t read another one until 2021. This was my first book by Amy Bloom, and I really enjoyed her writing and won’t hesitate to read another book by her.
Hateship, Friendship_Courtship, Loveship, Marriage book cover Book: Hateship, Friendship_Courtship, Loveship, Marriage Author: Alice Munro
Pages: 323 Duration: 05/15/20 – 06/06/20 (22 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, short stories, Canadian culture
🔖10-word summary: “Narratives that loop and swerve like memory conjuring up characters” 🖌6-word review: “Tirelessly observant, deeply and gloriously humane”
Description: Because this book consists of 9 stories, I’m just going to provide a 10-word summary and 6-word review of each of them instead of detailing what each is about: 1st short story: Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage (collection’s namesake story) Summary: Johanna Parry goes through all that in this short story Review: Jam-packed and entertaining in fifty-seven pages
2nd short story: Floating Bridge Summary: Older woman with cancer gets a new lease on life Review: Could have been icky, but wasn’t
3rd short story: Family Furnishings Summary: A young lady learns some lessons about being a writer Review: Short story about a short story
4th short story: Comfort Summary: Nina and Lewis have a plan for Lewis’ fatal illness Review: “A gem among finely polished stones”
5th short story: Nettles Summary: An unexpected, yet fortuitous, thunderstorm is par for the course Review: An unanticipated secret saves this one
6th short story: Post and Beam Summary: Lorna works through her strained relationship with her cousin Polly Review: Confusing opening, innuendo-laden middle, unsatisfying ending
7th short story: What is remembered Summary: Her husband’s friend’s funeral leads to an affair to remember Review: A melodramatic imagining of what’s remembered
8th short story: Queenie Summary: Chrissy keeps looking for her stepsister who keeps leaving unannounced Review: A nice, compact, standalone sibling tale
9th short story: The Bear Came Over the Mountain Summary: Complicated relationships among Grant and Fiona and Aubrey and Marian Review: Wonderfully woven web of happenstance meetings
Thoughts: This collection of short stories was recommended by a friend, Jean Ells, and I loved it. I read the title story, which was the first short story in the collection in one day, downloaded on my Kindle on May 15. After reading my next book, Days of Distraction, I went back to this collection and read the other 8 short stories after borrowing the paperback version of the collection from the friend who recommended it. I really enjoy this writer, and I’m sure I’ll read more of her in the future. Thanks, Jean!
Days of Distraction book cover Book: Days of Distraction Author: Alexandra Chang
Pages: 320 Duration: 05/25/20 – 05/30/20 (6 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: literary fiction, Asian culture
🔖10-word summary: Asian, female protagonist painstakingly works through her persistent existential angst 🖌6-word review: “Told in spare, but powerful prose”
Description:* The plan is to leave. As for how, when, to where, and even why—she doesn’t know yet. So begins a journey for the 24-year-old narrator. As a staff writer at a prestigious tech publication, she reports on the achievements of smug Silicon Valley billionaires and start-up bros while her own request for a raise gets bumped from manager to manager. And when her longtime boyfriend, J, decides to move to a quiet upstate New York town for grad school, she sees an excuse to cut and run. Moving is supposed to be a grand gesture of her commitment to J and a way to reshape her sense of self. But in the process, she finds herself facing misgivings about her role in an interracial relationship. Captivated by the stories of her ancestors and other Asian Americans in history, she must confront a question at the core of her identity: What does it mean to exist in a society that does not notice or understand you? *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: A fortuitous meeting of a retired librarian friend during (Jean Ells) a #CoronavirusDays neighborhood walk led me to this little gem. We began talking about books, and she said that she has a big collection at her house that I’m more than welcome to borrow from while the libraries are closed (and beyond, really). This book was one that she recommended. I really enjoyed it for a few reasons: 1) the protagonist was female, Asian, and a staff writer for a technology publication—I like reading books by non-white authors throughout the year, and her being a writer for a technology company appealed to me for obvious reasons, 2) its format included short, varied paragraphs—returning to alternating story lines or threads, and 3) the narrator was very honest even though it didn’t shed a positive light on her at times, and she seemed genuinely interested in personal growth in the context of the complex navigation of the world as a oft-time marginalized member of society.
The Little Friend book cover Book: The Little Friend (Abandoned) Author: Donna Tartt
Pages: 642 Duration: 05/16/20 – 05/25/20 (10 days)
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Genres: literary fiction, mystery
🔖10-word summary: A determined sister seeks the killer of her little brother 🖌6-word review: Unengaging characters, started skimming, then abandoned
Description:* The setting is Alexandria, Mississippi, where one Mother’s Day a little boy named Robin Cleve Dufresnes was found hanging from a tree in his parents’ yard. Twelve years later Robin’s murder is still unsolved and his family remains devastated. So it is that Robin’s sister Harriet—unnervingly bright, insufferably determined, and unduly influenced by the fiction of Kipling and Robert Louis Stevenson—sets out to unmask his killer. Aided only by her worshipful friend Hely, Harriet crosses her town’s rigid lines of race and caste and burrows deep into her family’s history of loss. *From Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This book started off interesting to me, and I was even pulling for Harriett as she set out to uncover the mystery of her brother’s death. Then, a slew of characters were introduced that I found completely uninteresting and whom the author elaborated upon beyond tolerable to me. I found myself skimming a lot, but even when the storyline returned to Harriett, I found myself struggling to care. One of the reasons it took me so long to abandon it is that The Secret History, one of this author’s other books, is one of my all-time favorite books, and I also enjoyed—though to a lesser extent—her book, The Goldfinch. The final straw, though, was when Bob asked me if reading this book was bringing me joy, and without hesitation, I said, “No, it isn’t.”
Days of Awe book cover Book: Days of Awe Author: Lauren Fox
Pages: 274 Duration: 05/10/20 – 05/15/20 (6 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, literary fiction
🔖10-word summary: Isabel’s tribulations with her husband, daughter, and beloved best friend 🖌6-word review: Not enough growth in the protagonist
Description:* Only a year ago Isabel Moore was married, the object of adoration of her ten-year-old daughter, and thought she knew everything about her wild, extravagant, beloved best friend, Josie. But in that one short year: her husband moved out and rented his own apartment; her daughter grew into a moody insomniac; and Josie—impulsive, funny, secretive Josie—was killed behind the wheel in a single-car accident. As Isabel tries to make sense of this shattering loss and unravel the months leading up to Josie’s death, she comes to understand the shifts, large and small, that can upend a friendship and an entire life. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I know that people grieve in their own way and at their own pace, but the protagonist in this story just took too long, and you’re really just left to imagine how it turned out once she finally did move into the acceptance stage of her grief. It was not a bad book, per se, but I’d be hard-pressed to recommend it to anyone.
A Doubter's Almanac book cover Book: A Doubter’s Almanac Author: Ethan Canin
Pages: 577 Duration: 05/03/20 – 05/08/20 (6 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, historical fiction, literary fiction
🔖10-word summary: Tormented mathematical genius’s life unravels his family and his health 🖌6-word review: Intellectual and philosophical inquiry into genius
Description:* Milo Andret is born with an unusual mind. A lonely child growing up in the woods of northern Michigan in the 1950s, he gives little thought to his own talent. But with his acceptance at U.C. Berkeley he realizes the extent, and the risks, of his singular gifts. California in the seventies is a seduction, opening Milo’s eyes to the allure of both ambition and indulgence. The research he begins there will make him a legend; the woman he meets there—and the rival he meets alongside her—will haunt him for the rest of his life. For Milo’s brilliance is entwined with a dark need that soon grows to threaten his work, his family, even his existence. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I savored reading this book over the 6 days I spent with it. I do wonder if I liked it so much because my undergraduate degree was in mathematics, or just because it was so well written—with exceptional character development, particularly of the protagonist. Milo made me think of archetypal characters—not unlike Howard Roark in Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead, who is often cited as a classic example of the INTJ (The architect) Myers-Briggs type. In any case, I enjoyed the inquiry into “the nature of genius, rivalry, ambition, and love among multiple generations of a gifted family.” I thought the author did a good job describing enough of the mathematical problem that Milo ended up solving to not totally alienate the reader (at least not this one), and especially considering it wasn’t a real mathematical problem—hence the “fiction” part of its “historical fiction” genre designation.
Interpreter of Maladies book cover Book: Interpreter of Maladies Author: Jhumpa Lahiri
Pages: 209 Duration: 04/30/20 – 05/02/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, short stories, Indian culture
🔖10-word summary: Short stories of nuanced depth resonating across cultures and generations 🖌6-word review: Pulitzer Prize winner for a reason
Description: Because this book consists of 9 stories, I’m just going to provide a 10-word summary and 6-word review of each of them instead of detailing what each is about: 1st short story: A Temporary Matter Summary: Husband and wife confess carefully during scheduled temporary power outages Review: Beautifully told story of unraveling love
2nd short story: When Mr. Pirzada Came to Dine Summary: From Boston, Mr. Pirzada worries about his family in Dacca Review: Contemplations of assimilation, politics, and identity
3rd short story: Interpreter of Maladies (book’s namesake short story) Summary: A profound secret is thrust upon a man for interpretation Review: Delicious entrapment of protagonist and reader
4th short story: A Real Durwan Summary: Boori Ma, a building caretaker, gets cast out by tenants Review: Globalization’s ripple effect on personal economics
5th short story: Sexy Summary: Sexy Miranda slowly devolves into the inevitable unfulfilled other woman Review: Parallel stories of adultery interestingly juxtaposed
6th short story: Mrs. Sen’s Summary: Mrs. Sen, an unhappy and lonely Calcutta immigrant, babysits Eliot Review: Anticipated car accident the whole time
7th short story: This Blessed House Summary: Sanjeev and Twinkle’s marriage tested by unearthed household Christian iconography Review: Opposites attract in a strained way
8th short story: The Treatment of Bibi Haldar Summary: Bibi has a mysterious illness that only marriage can cure Review: An implausible, entertaining, and satisfying mystery
9th short story: The Third and Final Continent Summary: A Calcutta man recounts his new job, wife, and country Review: An engaging snapshot of a life
Thoughts: This is my second book of short stories this year, and I thoroughly enjoyed them. It’s not surprising that its author won the 2000 Pulitzer Prize in Fiction for this work. It’s beautifully written and wildly succeeds in painting complex characters and exploring nuanced, yet universal, reactions and life experiences in the restrained genre of the short story. From the book jacket, with which I fully agree: “Traveling from India to New England and back again, the stories in this extraordinary debut collection unerringly chart the emotional journeys of characters seeking love beyond the barriers of nations and generations. Imbued with the sensual details of Indian culture, they also speak with universal eloquence to everyone who has ever felt like a foreigner.”
A Girl's Guide to Moving On book cover Book: A Girl’s Guide to Moving On Author: Debbie Macomber
Pages: 352 Duration: 04/26/20 – 04/29/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, romance
🔖10-word summary: Mother and daughter-in-law simultaneously divorce their husbands to move on 🖌6-word review: Neither a guide nor very compelling
Description:* A mother and her daughter-in-law bravely leave their troubled marriages and face the challenge of starting over. Leaning on each other, Nichole and Leanne discover that their inner strength and capacity for love are greater than they ever imagined. An inspiring novel of friendship, reinvention, and hope, this book affirms the ability of every woman to forge a new path, believe in love, and fearlessly find happiness. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I know I just said I wasn’t going to read any more books this year classified in the romance genre, but this one had been on request at the library for several months, and 1) it was an e-book, and 2) it became available just as I was finishing The Sense of an Ending. So, I went ahead and read it. It was only “okay” to me. There were several reviews on Goodreads saying the writing in this book was terrible. Although I found it very basic, I wouldn’t categorize it as terrible. I do think the “A Girl’s Guide to…” part of the title was used mostly as a device to lure a certain demographic, but to use a somewhat overused adjective these days, I’d call it “click bait.” The 5 (Or was it 6? Who cares? I certainly didn’t.) items in “the guide” were enumerated at the beginning (e.g., Don’t allow yourself to wallow in your pain. Cultivate new friendships. Let go in order to receive. Love yourself.) and referred to, or alluded to, maybe 2 or 3 more times, at the most, throughout the rest of the book. It really wasn’t about a guide at all, and that annoyed me. Granted I’m easily annoyed, and I didn’t want to be reading a romance novel anyway. Attitude check! So, YMMV, but I would be hard-pressed to recommend this book.
The Sense of an Ending book cover Book: The Sense of an Ending Author: Julian Barnes
Pages: 162 Duration: 04/25/20 – 04/25/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, literary fiction
🔖10-word summary: Tony Webster rethinks his life’s actions through a new lens 🖌6-word review: What, how, and when we remember
Description:* This intense new novel follows a middle-aged man as he contends with a past he has never much thought about—until his closest childhood friends return with a vengeance, one of them from the grave, another maddeningly present. Tony Webster thought he’d left all this behind as he built a life for himself, and by now his marriage and family and career have fallen into an amicable divorce and retirement. But he is then presented with a mysterious legacy that obliges him to reconsider a variety of things he thought he’d understood all along, and to revise his estimation of his own nature and place in the world. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I ran through this book in about 4.5 hours. The Goodreads blurb says, “A novel so compelling that it begs to be read in a single sitting, with stunning psychological and emotional depth and sophistication,” which certainly was the case for me. Oh, and I’m glad I read this one on a Kindle, because there were some serious vocabulary words in it, these among the ones I looked up: exculpated, susurrus, riposte, lachrymosely, puerile, lieder, deliquescent, fossicking, and priapic.
Love Lettering book cover Book: Love Lettering Author: Kate Clayborn
Pages: 320 Duration: 04/19/20 – 04/23/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★☆☆☆ Genres: fiction, romance, contemporary
🔖10-word summary: Two people who love codes first clash then get together 🖌6-word review: Held surprisingly little of my interest
Description:* Meg Mackworth’s hand-lettering skill has made her famous as the Planner of Park Slope, designing custom journals for her New York City clientele. She has another skill too: reading signs that other people miss. Knowing the upcoming marriage of Reid Sutherland and his polished fiancée was doomed to fail is one thing, but weaving a secret word of warning into their wedding program is another. Meg may have thought no one would spot it, but she hadn’t counted on sharp-eyed, pattern-obsessed Reid. A year later, Reid has tracked Meg down to find out how she knew that his meticulously planned future was about to implode. But with a looming deadline and a bad case of creative block, Meg doesn’t have time for Reid’s questions—unless he can help her find her missing inspiration. As they gradually open up to each other, both try to ignore a deepening connection between them. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This book just didn’t work for me. I thought that because it was about “lettering,” which before reading the book I translated as about writing and words, that it’d be interesting to me. As it turned out, it was more about typography than writing and words. And it was actually mostly about a romance that develops between the two main characters, neither of whom drew me in. Before this book, if you’d’ve asked me if I read romance novels, my answer would have been, “Rarely.” However, while trying to assess what I didn’t really like about this book, I noticed that one of the genres it’s categorized in is “romance.” Then I looked at my reading list for this year, and lo and behold, this is the fifth book to date that has that as one of its genres. I particularly did not like the sex scenes described between these two characters. I’m going to make a concerted effort not to read any more romance novels this year. Unfortunately, one of the things that’s affecting my reading choices lately is this damn coronavirus situation, which has our libraries closed, so I’m having to find Kindle books online that are available for free downloads.
Me book cover Book: Me Author: Elton John
Pages: 376 Duration: 04/13/20 – 04/17/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, autobiography, celebrity, music
🔖10-word summary: Elton John authentically recounts his larger-than-life character, experiences, and career 🖌6-word review: Brutally honest, often unflattering, always extraordinary
Description:* Christened Reginald Dwight, he was a shy boy with Buddy Holly glasses who grew up in the London suburb of Pinner and dreamed of becoming a pop star. By the age of 23, he was on his first tour of America, facing an astonished audience in his tight silver hotpants, bare legs and a T-shirt with ROCK AND ROLL emblazoned across it in sequins. Elton John had arrived and the music world would never be the same again. His life has been full of drama, from the early rejection of his work with song-writing partner Bernie Taupin to spinning out of control as a chart-topping superstar; from half-heartedly trying to drown himself in his LA swimming pool to disco-dancing with the Queen; from friendships with John Lennon, Freddie Mercury and George Michael to setting up his AIDS Foundation. All the while, Elton was hiding a drug addiction that would grip him for over a decade. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I loved this book for a lot of reasons. I loved how honest Elton was telling his story, even when a lot of times he came across as a bully, an asshole, or a cokehead. I loved his telling of how he and his close friends gave each other drag names: Elton was Sharon. Rod Stewart was Phyllis. Freddie Mercury was Melini. Michael Jackson was Mahalia. John Reid (Elton’s first boyfriend, and later his music manager) was Beryl, and Tony King (an art director) was Joy. I loved hearing his stories of meeting and working with other artists of all kinds. His mother was an absolutely horrible woman and the stories he does share of her highlight how ruthlessly viscous she was. I loved his story about (not) working with Tina Turner. And knowing what I know about him now, it’s extraordinary that he was able to perform and record like he did being the serious alcohol and drug addict that he was for a long time, and it’s even more amazing that he didn’t die along the way.
I Owe You One book cover Book: I Owe You One Author: Sophie Kinsella
Pages: 432 Duration: 04/11/20 – 04/13/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, romance
🔖10-word summary: It takes a while, but Fixie finally finds her backbone 🖌6-word review: Tightly characterized, at times exasperating, protagonist
Description:* Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” But since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will? It’s simply not in her nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, Fixie not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. Turns out the computer’s owner is an investment manager. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, Sebastian scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. But Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she? Soon Fixie, “Ms. Fixit” for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants? *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I really liked this book despite reading a couple of bad reviews about it before I started, one of which noted that the author uses “ludicrously” a ludicrous number of times. So, of course I noticed it every time I saw it. However, I estimate that it was used 7 or 8 times, across a 432-page book and was contextually correct on each use. I’m positive I wouldn’t have even noticed it had I not read that review first. (There now you can be distracted by it, too, if you read the book. Sorry.) I love when an author can draw a character so vividly almost solely by what they say, how they react to things, and physical or emotional “tics.” One of the criticisms of this book was that the protagonist was infuriating. She was! But isn’t that good writing if the author can get you so riled up about a character? To each his or her own, of course, but I recommend this book.
Ask Again, Yes book cover Book: Ask Again, Yes Author: Mary Beth Keane
Pages: 400 Duration: 04/09/20 – 04/10/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, psychology
🔖10-word summary: Two families work 4 decades through a complex, tragic event 🖌6-word review: Human frailty exposed to its utmost
Description:* Ask Again, Yes is a deeply affecting exploration of the lifelong friendship and love that blossoms between Kate Gleeson and Peter Stanhope, born six months apart. One shocking night their loyalties are divided, and their bond will be tested again and again over the next 40 years. Luminous, heartbreaking, and redemptive, Ask Again, Yes reveals the way childhood memories change when viewed from the distance of adulthood—villains lose their menace and those who appeared innocent seem less so. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This author grew up in Pearl River, NY, which made me think of my friend, Mary. From a New York Times interview with Mary Beth Keane: “She was particularly affected by her husband’s long estrangement from his parents and began to look for a way to explain that break to their children. ‘I wanted to help them understand that even people who are decent in their hearts might get lost, might fail to live up to the contract of parenthood or marriage. No one ever plans to become estranged. It happens day by day, year by year, until next thing—oops!—20 years have gone by. Is it possible for a parent and child to become true strangers to one another? Or is there always some connection? I began writing this book to figure out how I might answer that question.'” I think she did a good job of that.
The Identicals book cover Book: The Identicals Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Pages: 433 Duration: 04/04/20 – 04/07/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, romance
🔖10-word summary: Twins wreak havoc in each others lives just like mom 🖌6-word review: Story starring Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard
Description:* Nantucket is only 2.5 hours away from Martha’s Vineyard by ferry. But the two islands might as well be worlds apart for a set of identical twin sisters who have been at odds for years. When a family crisis forces them to band together—or at least appear to—the twins slowly come to realize that the special bond that they share is more important than the sibling rivalry that’s driven them apart for the better part of their lives. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This was a classic Elin Hilderbrand book, the kind that’s often referred to as a “quick, summer read.” Essentially, the islands of Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard are each a character in this novel, and they hold a soft spot in my heart. Although I’m from from Fall River, MA, about 50-60 miles from those islands, I’d never been to either island until my 60th birthday. I went alone, and I spent 2.5 days on Nantucket, 2.5 days on Martha’s Vineyard, and a day in Hyannis Port. Being that I’m half Portuguese (there is a big Portuguese population in Fall River), I was tickled to death at this passage in the book: “Even hungover, Franklin installs the new kitchen cabinets the next day and sets in the porcelain farmhouse sink. There are two Portuguese guys from Fall River—both named Paulo—sanding down the floors in the living room and dining room.” All that aside, it’s typical Hilderbrand writing: intertwined lives played off and against each other, with strong characters and circumstances pushing everyone to the edge.
The Husband's Secret book cover Book: The Husband’s Secret Author: Liane Moriarty
Pages: 498 Duration: 03/31/20 – 04/04/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, mystery, psychology
🔖10-word summary: A man’s posthumous-intended, found letter shatters the lives around him 🖌6-word review: Gripping, thought-provoking, and best epilogue ever
Description:* Your husband’s letter to be opened after his death contains his deepest, darkest secret—something with the potential to destroy not just the life you built together, but the lives of others as well. Then imagine stumbling across it while he’s still very much alive. Cecilia Fitzpatrick has achieved it all—she’s an incredibly successful businesswoman, a pillar of her small community, and a devoted wife and mother. Her life is as orderly and spotless as her home. But that letter has earth-shattering repercussions that’s about to change everything, and not just for her. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I loved this book—hence the 5-star rating. This is my second Liane Moriarty book this year, and I gave What Alice Forgot a 5-star rating, too. I guess you could say I like this author. I did have a little trouble keeping the characters (or should I say families) straight for the first couple of chapters and when their interconnections first became apparent. But once into the groove, I was interested in each family’s own little sub-drama and even more so in how intertwined they eventually all became. The epilogue is probably the best ending to a book I’ve ever read. I found it analogous to the final scene (which I loved) of the final episode of the final season of Six Feet Under if you ever watched that HBO series. But I loved this book’s epilogue 100 times more than I loved that final scene.
The Obituary Society book cover Book: The Obituary Society Author: Jessica L. Randall
Pages: 216 Duration: 03/28/20 – 03/30/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, mystery, romance
🔖10-word summary: A granddaughter’s inherited house houses incriminating and dangerous family secrets 🖌6-word review: Finished, one notch above didn’t like
Description:* Lila Moore inherits her grandfather’s house in a small Midwestern town. She’s charmed by the people of Auburn, from the blue-eyed lawyer with the southern drawl to the little old lady who unceasingly tries to set Lila up with her grandson. But when strange things begin to happen, Lila realizes some of her new friends are guarding a secret like it’s a precious family heirloom. It’s a dangerous secret, and it has come back to haunt them. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I found this book just good enough to finish, but neither loving it nor likely to recommend it. I was having a hard time putting my finger on exactly why it didn’t grab me, but when I was creating this entry for it and saw that one of the genres that Goodreads classified this book as was “romance,” a light bulb went off. I’m not a big fan of romance novels. Also, one of the main draws of this book was the word “obituary” in the title, but there was very little information about the The Obituary Society’s actual meetings, which is what I wanted to know about. I didn’t find out that this book was the first in a 3-book series until I was well into it, and presumably they talk more about the meetings in the subsequent books, but I wasn’t intrigued enough in this one to read on.
Be Frank With Me book cover Book: Be Frank With Me Author: Julia Claiborne Johnson
Pages: 309 Duration: 03/24/20 – 03/27/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, humor
🔖10-word summary: A brilliantly precocious boy’s life with his famous-author, dysfunctional mother 🖌6-word review: At times humorous, at times heartbreaking
Description:* When Alice Whitley arrives at the Banning mansion, she’s put to work right away—as a full-time companion to Frank, the 9-year-old son of Mimi, an eccentric author mother. He’s a boy with the wit of Noël Coward, the wardrobe of a 1930s movie star, and very little in common with his fellow fourth graders. As she gets to know Frank, Alice becomes consumed with finding out who his father is, how his gorgeous “piano teacher and itinerant male role model” Xander fits into the Banning family equation, and whether Mimi will ever finish that book. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I thoroughly enjoyed this tale—but not without frequently being confounded, infuriated, and exasperated by Frank’s mother, for which I’ll credit good character development by Julia Claiborne Johnson. This is the kind of book that I could easily see turned into a movie, although a child actor doesn’t come to mind who could pull off Frank. He was quite the character. I highly recommend this book.
Postcards from a Stranger book cover Book: Postcards from a Stranger Author: Imogen Clark
Pages: 348 Duration: 03/21/20 – 03/23/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Old postcards in attic expose a lifetime of family lies 🖌6-word review: Entertaining investigative work by female protagonist
Description:* When Cara stumbles across a stash of old postcards in the attic, their contents make her question everything she thought she knew. The story she pieces together is confusing and unsettling, and appears to have been patched over with lies. But who can tell her the truth? With her father sinking into Alzheimer’s and her brother reluctant to help, it seems Cara will never find the answers to her questions. One thing is clear, though: someone knows more than they’re letting on. The picture that begins to emerge is not at all the one she’d expected—because as she soon discovers, lies have a habit of multiplying. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This was a well-told story—a mystery that unfolded at a nice clip, never keeping me waiting very long for the next revelation to satisfy me and keep me wanting to know what would happen next.
Everything My Mother Taught Me book cover Book: Everything My Mother Taught Me Author: Alive Hoffman
Pages: 24 Duration: 03/21/20 – 03/21/20 (1 day)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, historical fiction, short stories
🔖10-word summary: Mute girl survives her father’s death and mother’s mean selfishness 🖌6-word review: An impressively succinct, well-written short story
Description:* For fatefully observant Adeline, growing up carries an ominous warning from her adulterous mother: don’t say a word. Adeline vows to never speak again. But that’s not her only secret. After her mother takes a housekeeping job at a lighthouse off the tip of Cape Ann, a local woman vanishes. The key to the mystery lies with Adeline, the silent witness. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I really enjoyed this short (24-page) story. A lot of themes were covered in a very short time—loyalty, betrayal, adultery, revenge, and love. The 4- as opposed to 5-star rating was due to “some minor flaws,” namely with questions about some plot points that I didn’t think about, but Bob pointed out when I described the story to him. I still would recommend the book, though, because they obviously didn’t bother me, since I didn’t even notice them.
The Last Thing She Ever Did book cover Book: The Last Thing She Ever Did Author: Gregg Olsen
Pages: 372 Duration: 03/17/20 – 03/19/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, mystery, thriller
🔖10-word summary: A trio of neighbors involved in a little boy’s disappearance 🖌6-word review: A compelling, well-written, plot-driven, page-turning mystery
Description:* The community along Oregon’s Deschutes River is one of successful careers and perfect families. For years, up-and-comers Liz and Owen have admired their good friends and neighbors, Carole and David. They appear to have it all–security, happiness, and a beautiful young son, Charlie. Then Charlie vanishes without a trace, and all that seemed safe is shattered by a tragedy that is incomprehensible—except to Liz. There’s another good neighbor who has his own secrets, his own pain, and his own reasons for watching Liz’s every move. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I flew through this book, because it was well-written and plot-driven, two very important factors in how much I like a book. I also found myself yelling at the characters, “How stupid can you be?” And, “No, no, no, don’t do that!” A couple of the things a couple of the characters did at times, seemed a little far-fetched, which is the only reason I gave it 4 stars instead of 5. I do highly recommend it, though, if you like a quick-moving, plot-driven mystery.
Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know book cover Book: Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don’t Know Author: Malcolm Gladwell
Pages: 388 Duration: 03/15/20 – 03/16/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, psychology, sociology
🔖10-word summary: Complex human psychology that explains societal atrocities that confound us 🖌6-word review: Credible. Famous examples. Accessible psychological concepts.
Description:* How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to each other that isn’t true? Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don’t know. And because we don’t know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I really enjoyed this book, and it answered a lot of questions I had about the Brock Turner, Amanda Knox, Jerry Sandusky, Larry Nasser, and Michael Brown incidents, which he uses as examples to explain how complex human psychology is at work in these situations. The most enlightening thing to me, perhaps, was the well-explained section on (alcohol) blackouts. Fascinating. And the thing that contributed the most to my 5-star rating is the part of the criteria that says, “More than just entertaining (e.g., educational, enlightening).” Note: I also loved Outliers and The Tipping Point, the only 2 of his other books that I’ve read, so I may just be a fan of his writing and/or sociology and psychology books.
Break in Case of Emergency book cover Book: Break in Case of Emergency Author: Jessica Winter
Pages: 269 Duration: 03/08/20 – 03/12/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, women, humor
🔖10-word summary: Friendship, fertility, and fighting for sanity in a toxic workplace 🖌6-word review: Karina was a strongly written character
Description:* Jen has reached her early thirties and has all but abandoned a once-promising painting career when, spurred by the 2008 economic crisis, she takes a poorly defined job at a feminist nonprofit. The foundation’s ostensible aim is to empower women, but staffers spend all their time devising acronyms for imaginary programs, ruthlessly undermining one another, and stroking the ego of their boss, the larger-than-life celebrity philanthropist Leora Infinitas. Jen’s complicity in this passive-aggressive hellscape only intensifies her feelings of inferiority compared to her two best friends—one a wealthy attorney with a picture-perfect family, the other a passionately committed artist—and so does Jen’s apparent inability to have a baby, a source of existential panic that begins to affect her marriage and her already precarious status at the office. As Break in Case of Emergency unfolds, a fateful art exhibition, a surreal boondoggle adventure in Belize, and a devastating personal loss conspire to force Jen to reckon with some hard truths about herself and the people she loves most. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: It wasn’t until about a third of the way into this book that I was sure I was going to stick with it. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t compelling to me either. I’m aware that I’m less tolerant of humorous books these days, with the most recent example being Rue McClanahan’s book that I abandoned in my 2019 reading. Humor in writing is tenuous for me and requires a certain level of rapport with the reader to be effective. In the case of Rue’s book, I got the distinct impression that she thought she was funnier than I did, as the reader, and that didn’t work for me. That’s what I was working through during the first third of this book. Perhaps because this humor was satire, and I like good satire, I was able to hang. I mentioned “Karina” in my 6-word review, and her character really was the saving grace of this book for me. Don’t get me wrong, as a “person,” she was infuriating, but I like when an author can get me riled up about a fictional character. For all of my ambivalence about it, I’d be hard-pressed to recommend this book, but I certainly wouldn’t discourage anyone from reading it.
Property: Stories Between Two Novellas book cover Book: Property: Stories Between Two Novellas Author: Lionel Shriver
Pages: 317 Duration: 02/29/20 – 03/06/20 (7 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, short stories
🔖10-word summary: Ten short stories sandwiched between two novellas each about property 🖌6-word review: Different meanings of property. Smart writing.
Description:* Because this book consists of 12 stories, I’m just going to provide a 10-word summary and 6-word review of each of them instead of detailing what each is about: Novella 1: The Standing Chandelier Summary: An enormous personal art piece wedding gift becomes problematic property Review: A tightly wound tale of love
Shorty story 1: The Self-Seeding Sycamore Summary: A widow’s property-line tree imbues grief, anger, rebirth, and love Review: Neighbors come to a surprising resolution
Short story 2: Domestic Terrorism Summary: Live-in son won’t vacate his family’s property no matter what Review: A tightly wound tale of love
Shorty story 3: The Royal Male Summary: A postman plays God with other people’s property—their mail Review: A deceitful meeting “frontfires”—ending smashingly
Shorty story 4: Exchange Rates Summary: London property ownership dreams constrained by money, family, and time Review: Dad comes. Dad goes. Goal achieved.
Short story 5: Kilifi Creek Summary: Female protagonist runs out of luck on Manhattan property rooftop Review: Close calls finally close in completely
Shorty story 6: Repossession Summary: Helen buys possessed repossessed property—it’s all downhill from there Review: Circuitous road to the repo man
Shorty story 7: The ChapStick Summary: Unlikely personal property—a ChapStick tube—has not inconsequential consequences Review: A deceitful meeting “frontfires”—ending smashingly
Shorty story 8: Negative Equity Summary: A couple’s “underwater” property complicates their impending separate living arrangements Review: A restaurateur and a hygienist resuscitate
Short story 9: Vermin Summary: The “Little Dump” Brooklyn property becomes overrun with raucous raccoons Review: An imperfect purchase and relationship deteriorates
Shorty story 10: Paradise to Perdition Summary: Tainted property—embezzled money—can’t buy happiness or even enjoyment Review: A modern-day Crime and Punishment story
Novella 2: The Subletter Summary: Emer sublets Sara’s flat with an overlapping period of calamity Review: Too politically heavy, but otherwise compelling
Thoughts: I really enjoyed this book. I haven’t read a novella or a short story in a while, so it was a nice change of pace. I liked how the kind of “property” at the center of each story varied, nicely described in this New York Times review: “From one story to the next, the acquisition of things—land, money, empty nests—rarely leads to happiness and often stimulates character traits that might better be kept in check.” My favorite story was The Royal Male (one of the 10 short stories) and my least favorite story (although I loved the beginning and the end of it) was The Subletter (one of the novellas and the last story in the book, unfortunately).
The Road Home book cover Book: The Road Home Author: Kathleen Shoop
Pages: 503 Duration: 02/25/20 – 02/28/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, historical fiction
🔖10-word summary: The long road back from a dramatic, circumstantial family separation 🖌6-word review: 3-POV, well-told saga penned in flashbacks
Description:* 1905—Tearful mourners at Katherine’s mother’s funeral force her to revisit a time in her life that both harmed and saved her in the most unexpected ways. Her also-grieving brother Tommy is thrust backward, compelled to rediscover the events in his life that shaped the man he’s become. They come to understand that forgiveness is the only way back to hope, the only way to find all that was good in the misfortune that transformed their lives forever. 1891—Living separately for 3 years, 14-year-old twins, Katherine and Tommy Arthur, have done their best to make each boarding house feel like home. But unrest grows as they are driven to questionable actions just to survive. Meanwhile their desperate mother is confronted with breaking yet another promise to her children. Hope rises on a cold, rainy night and changes everything. If their mother Jeanie could just get word to Katherine and Tommy, she knows she can set their lives right again. Agitators, angels, and dangerous “saviors” illuminate the Arthurs’ unmatched determination and smarts. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I found this a quick and easy read, told in flashbacks between two years—1905 and 1891—and across 3 points-of-view: Jeanie (mother, first-person narrator), Katherine (daughter/sister, third-person narrator), and Tommy (son/brother, third-person narrator). That’s also in the order of how much I liked each person’s story. In terms of present and flashback, I liked when the story returned to the present—1905—the most. I found this a well-told story about a very dramatic family break-up. Oddly enough, the beginning of it reminded me of the very first episode of Schitt’s Creek: When the wealthy family—video store magnate Johnny, his wife and former soap opera actress Moira, and their adult children David and Alexis lose their fortune after being defrauded by their business manager, the IRS enters their home to seize their assets. This story, at times, also reminded me of that song from Hee Haw: “Gloom despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” This is a book I downloaded for free from BookBub, and like several of the other books they’ve offered free, it turned out to be one book of a series. (Book 2 of 7, as it turns out.) I would never purposely start reading a book series without starting with the first book and without reading them in order, but this is now the third time I’ve done it, and it’s not bad. I do have interest in reading the first and third books in the series, but if history repeats itself, I won’t—especially if I can’t get the other books from the library. With all that said, as my 4-star review intimates, I’d highly recommend this book.
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings book cover Book: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Author: Maya Angelou
Pages: 317 Duration: 02/15/20 – 02/17/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: nonfiction, memoir, classics
🔖10-word summary: Maya Angelou from three to seventeen—resisting racism in America. 🖌6-word review: On identity, racism, rape, and literacy.
Description:* Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age—and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Years later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors (“I met and fell in love with William Shakespeare”) will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I’m happy to have finally read this book. In no surprise whatsoever, the writing was exquisite and the story compelling. In devising my 2020 reading list, I didn’t purposefully schedule two books with a racism theme during Black History Month, but I’m glad it worked out that way. I had no idea Maya was the first African-American streetcar conductor in San Francisco, and I enjoyed her telling of how she made that happen. My favorite scene in this book was when Maya’s grandmother was out on the front porch of her house, standing still, singing continuously and without wavering as little white kids abased her, calling her names and making fun of her. Powerful.
The Bookshop of Yesterdays book cover Book: The Bookshop of Yesterdays Author: Amy Meryerson
Pages: 364 Duration: 02/12/20 – 02/14/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, books about books, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Girl inherits bookshop that holds clues to her family’s past. 🖌6-word review: Family secrets. Mostly believable. Implausible moments.
Description:* Miranda Brooks grew up in the stacks of her eccentric Uncle Billy’s bookstore, solving the inventive scavenger hunts he created just for her. But on Miranda’s twelfth birthday, Billy has a mysterious falling-out with her mother and suddenly disappears from Miranda’s life. She doesn’t hear from him again until sixteen years later when she receives unexpected news: Billy has died and left her Prospero Books, which is teetering on bankruptcy—and one final scavenger hunt. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This was a “refreshingly light read” after The Elegance of the Hedgehog. The scavenger hunt thing got old by the end, but I enjoyed it overall, just more so at the beginning. The “family secrets” part of this book reminded me of my favorite book of a 2019, The Secrets Mothers Keep. The female protagonist annoyed me at times—her character being portrayed, not the writing about her, which is a compliment to the author. I’m pretty sure there was one editing error (which I have little patience for) where one character was referred to with the wrong name.
The Elegance of the Hedgehog book cover Book: The Elegance of the Hedgehog Author: Muriel Barbery
Pages: 325 Duration: 02/08/20 – 02/11/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, philosophy, French culture
🔖10-word summary: A 54-year-old and a 12-year-old contemplate the meaning of life. 🖌6-word review: Big words. Deep thoughts. Great ending.
Description:* Paloma (a 12-year old resident) and Renée (the 54-year old concierge) both hide their true talents and their finest qualities from a world they suspect cannot or will not appreciate them. They discover their kindred souls when a wealthy Japanese man named Ozu arrives in the building. Only he can gain Paloma’s trust and see through Renée’s timeworn disguise to the secret that haunts her. This is a moving, funny, triumphant novel that exalts the quiet victories of the inconspicuous among us. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: Be prepared to look up a lot of words reading this book. It has to be written at a grade 16 (or higher) level. This is a typical example of the high level of writing: instead of just writing, “How crazy that yesterday no one cared about my place, but today everyone does,” she writes, “How extraordinary that this loge, which yesterday was of no interest to anyone, seems today to be the focus of global attention.” The large amount of philosophical discussion in the book reminded me of my philosophy (& logic) courses in college, which I really enjoyed. It was nice to revisit that kind of writing, but it’s definitely not “easy” reading for me—and one book like it this year will be plenty. I didn’t like that the author used the r-word at least 4 times. I did like that Renée’s deceased husband’s name was Lucien, which was my paternal grandfather’s name. I enjoyed the parallel stories of the 54-year-old concierge and the 12-year-old child who were the two (alternating, for the most part) narrators. I particularly liked when it happened that you heard one side of a scene from one of them and the very next chapter revealed the same scene from the other one’s perspective. I also liked that the 12-year-old girl was planning to commit suicide on her 13th birthday. (Not a spoiler; it’s revealed early on in the book.) And finally, I liked the ending, and if you know me at all—with regards to the endings of books or movies—then you can guess what happens.
The Underground Railroad book cover Book: The Underground Railroad Author: Colson Whitehead
Pages: 417 Duration: 02/02/20 – 02/06/20 (5 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, historical fiction
🔖10-word summary: Cora flees Georgia plantation for a life on the run. 🖌6-word review: Unspeakable acts of racist American history.
Description:* Cora is a slave on a cotton plantation in Georgia. Life is hell for all the slaves, but especially bad for Cora; an outcast even among her fellow Africans, she is coming into womanhood—where even greater pain awaits. When Caesar, a recent arrival from Virginia, tells her about the Underground Railroad, they decide to take a terrifying risk and escape. Matters do not go as planned. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This was one of our Mostly Social Book Club books. I really struggled rating this book in my (admittedly, self-imposed) rating system, and if I’d’ve allowed myself half-stars, I easily would have given this one 3½ stars. In the end, I couldn’t go to my 4-star rating, because I couldn’t “highly” recommend this book, but in the 3-star rating, which says I “might or might not recommend” this book, I would recommend it in most cases—depending on how much I knew about the person asking about it. I didn’t find this book too tedious to read, as a couple of my friends seem to have—according to some Facebook comments about it. I did find it difficult to read because of the graphic descriptions (as they should be) of the horrific things we did to slaves in this country. I’d never heard of the “underground railroad” before reading this book. I had a white history teacher who was a memorize-these-events-and-dates kind of teacher, so I never found it interesting, and I’d be very surprised if he ever even mentioned the underground railroad. If I hadn’t read the Wikipedia entry about it, this book would have led me to believe the myth that it was an actual, physical railroad. (Yes, I know the book is a novel, so I shouldn’t have assumed that, but I did.) And finally, I’m glad this was a book club book, because I’m sure I wouldn’t have read it otherwise, and I’m very glad I did.
The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers (And Their Muses) book cover Book: The Bar Harbor Retirement Home for Famous Writers (And Their Muses) Author: Terri-Lynne DeFino
Pages: 336 Duration: 01/21/20 – 02/01/20 (12 days)
Rating: ★★★★☆ Genres: fiction, writing, books about books, contemporary
🔖10-word summary: Authors living assisted in their twilight years. Book-within-a-book literary device. 🖌6-word review: The last small-font book I’ll read.
Description:* A whimsical, moving novel about a retirement home for literary legends who spar, conjure up new stories, and almost magically change the lives of the people around them. As the edges between story and reality blur, a world within a world is created. It’s a place where the old are made young, the damaged are made whole, and anything is possible. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: It took me a little while to get into the book within this book, which was being written collaboratively by the residents of the retirement home. I didn’t really like the characters in the book within the book in the beginning of their story, but they grew on me. I had a little trouble keeping track of who was related to whom in that story, too. I was definitely more interested in the characters outside of the inner book, or inside of the outer book. (Ugh!) With that said, at the end, I was interested to see what choice the main female character in the “inner book” was going to make. I would have enjoyed this book more, and read it in half the time I’m sure, if the font wasn’t so small. In fact, I have now vowed not to read any more books with font this small. Large-print books and e-books on Kindle are definitely the way to go for me here on out.
After the Funeral book cover Book: After the Funeral Author: Agatha Christie
Pages: Audio Duration: 01/17/20 – 01/18/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: fiction, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Classic Agatha Christie who-done-it with murderer confessing at the end. 🖌6-word review: Amusing and mysterious. British and entertaining.
Description:* Hercule Poirot is called on to investigate the murder of a brother and sister in this classic from the Queen of Mystery. When Cora Lansquenet is savagely murdered, the odd remark she made the day before at her brother’s funeral becomes chillingly important: “It’s been hushed up very nicely, hasn’t it. But he was murdered, wasn’t he?” Desperate to learn more about both deaths, the family solicitor turns to detective extraordinaire Hercule Poirot to unravel the mystery. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This is classic Agatha Christie, so if you like her stuff, you’ll like this. Her Hercule Poirot books are among my favorites, so I enjoyed this book.
My Year of Rest and Relaxation book cover Book: My Year of Rest and Relaxation Author: Ottessa Moshfegh
Pages: 304 Duration: 01/13/20 – 01/16/20 (4 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, contemporary
🔖10-word summary: Woman drugs herself out for a year to supposedly heal. 🖌6-word review: Train wreck you can’t not watch.
Description:* Our narrator should be happy, shouldn’t she? She’s young, thin, pretty, a recent Columbia graduate, works an easy job at a hip art gallery, lives in an apartment on the Upper East Side of Manhattan paid for, like the rest of her needs, by her inheritance. But there is a dark and vacuous hole in her heart, and it isn’t just the loss of her parents, or the way her Wall Street boyfriend treats her, or her sadomasochistic relationship with her best friend, Reva. It’s the year 2000 in a city aglitter with wealth and possibility; what could be so terribly wrong? Through the story of a year spent under the influence of a truly mad combination of drugs designed to heal our heroine from her alienation from this world, Moshfegh shows us how reasonable, even necessary, alienation can be. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: This story is an absolute train wreck in progress, and like the train wreck cliché, it was impossible to “look away.” Like this author’s book, Eileen, which I read last year, the storytelling was so compelling that I read large parts of it at a time and returned to it quickly for another dose. Also like Eileen, the story bordered on the bizarre. I wondered a lot about the sheer number—and combination—of drugs the unnamed narrator was taking (assuming they were all real, because most of them were, which made me assume the made up ones were just ones I’d never heard of). At least once I thought about the myriad of medication ingested by the elderly and the—at least 15—prescriptions my mother was on toward the end of her life. There were so many that she became unable to keep track of them herself, and we ended up paying the assisted living place $500 a month to manage them (and at times, and more often that we wanted to at that price, mismanage). In the end, after her year of “rest and relaxation,” the narrator claims that it accomplished her goal, but as the reader I thought, “That remains to be seen.”
The Once and Future King book cover Book: The Once and Future King (Abandoned) Author: T.H. White
Pages: 647 Duration: 01/12/20 – 01/13/20 (2 days)
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Genres: fiction, fantasy, classics, mythology, literature, young adult
🔖10-word summary: Arthurian characters with more complex and contradictory traits and motives. 🖌6-word review: Abandoned. Excessive description stalled plot interminably.
Description:* T.H White′s masterful retelling of the Arthurian legend is an abiding classic. Here all five volumes that make up the story are published in one volume, as White himself always wished. Exquisite comedy offsets the tragedy of Arthur′s personal doom as White brings to life the major British epic of all time with brilliance, grandeur, warmth and charm. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I was inspired to read this book after seeing the play, Camelot; hearing about how much other people enjoyed reading it at various times in their lives; and how it’s considered by many as a seminal work. For me, it had too much description, with not enough plot movement. I mean 3 super long paragraphs describing the outside of a castle in excruciating detail and then the next paragraph starting, “So much for the outer defences. Once you were inside the curtain wall, you found yourself in a kind of wide alley-way, probably full of frightened sheep, with another complete castle in front of you,” followed by paragraph after paragraph describing that. Nope. That, together with my dislike of fantasy! Merlyn’s says “Wash up!” and “At this all the china and cutlery scrambled down off the table, the cloth emptied the crumbs out of the window, and the napkins folded themselves up.” Add to that, super small font with over 600 more pages to go. Just wasn’t willing to do it. I abandoned this book on page 35.
What Alice Forgot book cover Book: What Alice Forgot Author: Liane Moriarty
Pages: 476 Duration: 01/03/20 – 01/09/20 (7 days)
Rating: ★★★★★ Genres: fiction, romance, Australian culture, mystery
🔖10-word summary: Woman tries to adjust to 10 lost years of memories. 🖌6-word review: Definite page turner. Realistic and thought-provoking.
Description:* Alice Love is twenty-nine, crazy about her husband, and pregnant with her first child. So imagine Alice’s surprise when she comes to on the floor of a gym and is whisked off to the hospital where she discovers the honeymoon is truly over — she’s getting divorced, she has three kids and she’s actually 39 years old. Alice must reconstruct the events of a lost decade, and find out whether it’s possible to reconstruct her life at the same time. She has to figure out why her sister hardly talks to her, and how is it that she’s become one of those super skinny moms with really expensive clothes. Ultimately, Alice must discover whether forgetting is a blessing or a curse, and whether it’s possible to start over. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: I loved this book. I thought it did a good job of capturing things you might not consider if you lost a 10-year period of your memory. I also liked how it made me think about how you might react to realizing you didn’t really like the person you’d become during the gap, and how you might resolve that. I read this author’s book Nine Perfect Strangers last year, which I only liked okay. I liked this one much, much better, and I’d highly recommend it. We eventually read this book for our Mostly Social Book Club—it was the fasted everyone in the group has ever read one of our books, and the other 3 members loved it, too.
How Will You Measure Your Life book cover Book: How Will You Measure Your Life? Author: Clayton M. Christensen
Pages: 240 Duration: 12/31/20 – 01/02/20 (3 days)
Rating: ★★★☆☆ Genres: business, leadership, management, psychology, self-help
🔖10-word summary: Criteria to measure your life and propel yourself to happiness. 🖌6-word review: Unengaged by kids and religion chapters.
Description:* In this groundbreaking book, Christensen puts forth a series of questions: How can I be sure that I’ll find satisfaction in my career? How can I be sure that my personal relationships become enduring sources of happiness? How can I avoid compromising my integrity—and stay out of jail? Using lessons from some of the world’s greatest businesses, he provides incredible insights into these challenging questions. How Will You Measure Your Life? is full of inspiration and wisdom, and will help students, midcareer professionals, and parents alike forge their own paths to fulfillment. *Adapted from Goodreads’ synopsis.
Thoughts: Overall, this book didn’t resonate with me. I did get one important thing out of it, and that’s the notion of asking yourself what “job” something is doing for you. The example that stands out was his talking about what (different) “job” getting a milkshake in a fast-food restaurant is doing for both adult commuters in the morning and for kids after dinner in the evening. Several chapters were devoted to applying the theories in the book to raising children, which didn’t interest me much, and the ending was a lot about God, which didn’t interest me at all. I’d recommend this book for younger people—those still early in their careers or just starting a family.
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Our month on Cape Cod—day 30

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~Sunday~ And our month-long Cape Cod adventure—working really remotely—comes to an end. It was a nice change of pace, with seeing friends and family the highlight, and we’re thrilled to be heading back to our home—with all of its creature comforts—that we love.


We left Eastham, MA at 7 a.m. and pulled into our driveway in Raleigh, NC at 8 p.m. It’s a long time for two gentlemen of a certain age to sit in a car, but we persevered and were lucky with the traffic and the weather.

The timer on our car tripmeter seems to be off an hour, just like it was on the way up. It was almost 13 hours to the minute door to door. We stopped for about a half hour in total, so total drive time was 12 1/2 hours.

Raleigh, NC to Eastham, MA
Eastham, MA to Raleigh, NC

We were surprised and pleased to learn that the George Washington Bridge toll of $16.00 is only due when entering New York, not when entering New Jersey, so no toll for that on the way home. We exited the New Jersey Turnpike at exit 6, for $16.05, and paid just a couple of other—fewer-than-$5—tolls, at least one of which was a pay-by-mail toll.

NJT ticket

At home, we didn’t find any invoices for the tolls-by-mail that we hit on the way up a month ago, so we’re not sure what’s going on with those. We’ll pay them if/when they arrive or when we get served a subpoena to appear to pay.

We hit 2 short slowdowns—both due to police handling roadside situations—one for 15 minutes and one for 10 minutes. We pretty much sailed through the NYC stretch of I-95 only slowing down a couple of times to the actual speed limit of 45 MPH in some areas. We purposely avoided any potential fallout of the clusterfuck known as the Million MAGA March in Washington, D.C. this weekend by taking the I-495 inner loop around the city instead of 95 through the city.

We made 2 stops for gas, to use the restroom, and to eat our signature traveling dish.

Our first stopWelcome to Delaware sign
A welcome welcome signBiden Welcome Center
Bob making our lunchBob making PB&J sandwiches
Deluxe divider plates for John’s food proclivitiesPB&J on a deluxe divided plate

At our second stop, my “dinner” consisted of our last massa sweet bread roll, which I stuffed a hard-boiled egg into. Bob had just a hard-boiled egg.

My concoction reminded me of the Easter massa breads my paternal grandmother used to make. Hers actually had the hard-boiled eggs hidden inside the bread, not visible like the ones in this recipe picture.

When we first walked in, our home smelled “new”—like the addition had just been finished or something—and it looked so spacious!

We unloaded the food and kitchen stuff first, and Bob started putting all that away, while I unloaded the rest of the car. Then, we both enjoyed a successful-trip-welcome-home cocktail—or two.

We both eyed “the beast in the corner,” which we haven’t cast an eye upon in a month, and then we weighed ourselves to shockingly find that neither of us had gained what it felt like we’d gained considering we’d done no rigorous cardio exercise for a month, not to mention the less-than-mindful eating we’d done.

Tomorrow, we’ll get right back to it. I intend to get back into my rigorous, pre-trip routine of daily workouts:

Thanks for following our adventure over the month. Comments are welcome. They won’t appear right away, because I have them set to be moderated to avoid spam and trolls.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 29

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~Saturday~ We said goodbye to Vivian and Jeff early this morning as they started the long (~13.5-hour) trek home to Greenville, NC.

We decided that we’re going to head home tomorrow instead of waiting until Monday, and we spent part of the morning packing.

Packed bags

We took a 2.5-mile walk before lunch, a part of which included the Cape Cod Rail Trail:

A street/trail intersection
Stop sign
A campground off the trail1
Campground
A house off the trail2
Trampoline

1I can’t hear the word “tents” without thinking about this joke, which Bob introduced me to:


2I can’t hear the word “trampoline” without thinking about this meme:


Other signs of interest during today’s walk:

2 men & a truck sign
Holmes Road sign
An American Legacy sign
A taste of turnip sign

When we got back to the house, we ran into David and had a real nice chat. I wish we’d’ve gotten to know him a little better while we were there. Such a nice person and good conversationalist.

We finished up some plan-aheads (a.k.a. “leftovers”) for our last dinner here.

Meatloaf, baby carrots, and applesauce
Meatloaf

And for dessert:

Coffee syrup add-inCoffee syrup
Maple walnut fudge add-inFudge
Ice cream with add-insIce cream

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 28

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~Friday~ It was a post-celebration and drizzly day, and after a ride up to Provincetown, we mostly just chilled.

In P-town, we stopped at the Pilgrims First Landing Spot, and then drove slowly down the narrow main street, which is called Commercial Street.

[T]though many in this country know the story of the Mayflower, some might be confused about where the band of Pilgrims landed.

Many people would likely say that the Pilgrims landed at a spot to be known as Plymouth. True, the Pilgrims did land at Plymouth, dubbing it originally ‘New Plymouth,” since they departed from Plymouth, England.

But Plymouth was not the Pilgrims’ first landing spot in the New World.

Five weeks before coming ashore in Plymouth, the Pilgrims docked in at what is today Provincetown Harbor. In fact, the first written document alluding to government in the new colony, the Mayflower Compact, was signed by 41 Pilgrims while still aboard the ship in Provincetown Harbor.

Of course, with it being off season and the time of COVID, Commercial Street looked nothing like this, as it has when I’ve been there in the past. Happy times.


And there was no “Tea Dance” (gay people’s happy hour) at The Boatslip, where it’s usually “nuts to butts” with men:

Back at the house, we had a delicious vegetable soup that Vivian had made and brought, and Bob whipped up some delectable grilled cheese sandwiches to go with it.

Naps may have happened in the afternoon, followed by a light-alcohol happy hour, but with enough nibblies that we skipped dinner.

And since Jeff and Vivian are heading back in the morning, Vivian, Bob, and I only played Scrabble, forgoing a Catch Phrase game so Vivian and Jeff could get to bed early for their early-morning departure.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 27

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~Thursday~ We started the day-long celebration of Vivian’s 60th birthday with a trip to the Chatham Pier Fish Market for a lobster roll.

Restaurant sign
 Chatham Pier chairs
Chatham Pier menu
Vivian and Jeff

Our feeding frenzy included—Vivian and John enjoying the buttered lobster roll, Bob enjoying the grilled salmon burger, and Jeff enjoying the regular lobster roll:

Buttered Lobster Roll: Fresh lobster meat tossed in warm butter
 Grilled Salmon Burger: Fresh salmon burger, lettuce, avocado, and lemon aioli on a brioche bun
 Lobster Roll: Fresh steamed lobster meat with a touch of mayo

Vivian’s birthday festivities:
Vivian with Dom Perignon and shot glass necklace

Slice of lemon birthday cake with candle Vivian blowing out candle
Dom Perignon bottle Dom Perignon bottle with poppers

A Dom Perignon toast to the birthday girl

We also made a video, complete with a hanging birthday sign, happy birthday music in the background, birthday glasses (trigger warning for epileptics) with blinking candle frames, and a birthday hat for the honoree. There is also inadvertent running commentary in the background.

We were going to edit it, but ended up just posting it in its entirety. I can’t easily embed a video here, but if you’re a Facebook friend of John, Bob, Vivian, or Jeff you can watch it there.

John, Bob, and Vivian ended the night with yet another game of Scrabble and Catch Phrase.

Today was a good day.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 26

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~Wednesday~ With more reading after visiting that cemetery on Sunday, I realized that that’s not the cemetery where those 3 Mayflower passengers were buried. To that end, Vivian and I went looking for the “real” Cove Burying Ground, which was a couple of miles away from the one we went to on Sunday.

Cove Burying Ground: “This is the oldest cemetery in Eastham, MA (Cape Cod) and very historical. Most of the people buried there are related to Mayflower families and were instrumental in the founding of the area.”

Giles Hopkins
Born: 30 Jan 1607 | Hursley, City of Winchester, Hampshire, England
Died: 26 Apr 1690 (aged 83) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Constance Hopkins Snow
Born: 11 May 1606 | Hampshire, England
Died: Oct 1677 (aged 71) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Lt. Joseph Rogers
Born: 23 Jan 1602 | Watford, Daventry District, Northamptonshire, England
Died: 15 Jan 1678 (aged 75) | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA
Buried: Cove Burying Ground | Eastham, Barnstable County, Massachusetts, USA

Other interesting graves we saw there included:

Here lies the body of Mrs. Hannah Snow the wife of Mr. Silvenus Snow, died August 1750 in the 37th year of her age.
Here lies buried the body of Mrs. Mary Knowls wife to Col. John Knowls, died Nov. 7, 1745 in the 73rd year of her age.
John Doane—deacon of the church, deputy to the general court, and one of the assistants to the governor.

While Vivian and I were out, we stopped at The General Store to see if they had any tchotchkes and for Vivian to check out the “penny candy.” She bought a refrigerator magnet and a Charleston Chew.

Our next stop was at the liquor store attached to The Superette, where Vivian was in hot pursuit of a bottle of red wine and some Narragansett beer, which is to say we hit the jackpot!

A quintessential “Fall River beer,” and one my dad drank all the time
Narragansett 12-pack
Narragansett can

Mid-afternoon, Bob and Vivian went for a 2-mile walk and reported back with some pictures:

For dinner, we cooked chicken, zucchini, and chouriço on the grill, having the chicken and zucchini for dinner tonight (with a few bites of chouriço) and some green beans for Jeff.

We ended the evening with a game of Scrabble followed by a game of Catch Phrase.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 25

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~Tuesday~ It was a beautiful weather day to take the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. We drove down to Falmouth (about an hour) to catch the ferry from Woods Hole to Vineyard Haven.

The Steamship Authority ferry
Ferry boat picture
From the top deck
Top deck close
Also from the top deck
Top deck out
The mast
The mast
The mask
The masked man
Fairies on the ferry
The masked men
Arriving at Martha’s Vineyard
Approaching Vineyard Haven

We arrived in Vineyard Haven, walked around for just a little bit, where we found most things closed—between it being off-season (their season ended October 28) and with COVID-19 negatively affecting some of the few places that might otherwise have been open.
Vineyard Haven map
We caught “the city bus” from Vineyard’s Haven to Edgartown hoping to find more things open there, including a place to eat lunch.
Edgartown map

A couple of Edgartown businesses we passed, in what turned out to an arduous search for an open lunch place, included:

The Covington Restaurant and Bar
The Covington
The Boneyard Surf Shop (pirates are everywhere)
The Boneyard

Bob took a peek into Edgartown Books:

Edgartown Books’ staircase
Edgartown Books’ extensive Martha’s Vineyard collection

And we did finally find a place open for lunch:

Espresso Love restaurant

where John got the Turkey Club, Bob got the Chicken Avocado BLT:

Espresso Love sandwiches
Vivian had their grilled chicken, havarti, & pesto sandwich, and Jeff had their chicken salad sandwich.

We got home after dark and had a “robust”—of both drinks and snacks—happy hour, and then we just had some clam chowder for dinner, before John, Bob, and Vivian played a game of Scrabble:
Completed Scrabble board
and then tried a piece of that maple walnut fudge that Bob and Vivian made, which was ready and cut up into 1-inch, 81-calorie-each squares.

Done fudge
Sliced fudge

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 24

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~Monday~ We made the 1.5-hour drive to Fall River and back where Vivian and I showed Jeff and Bob many of the places we lived in that city.

Fall River is where both of our parents and their families are from, and we moved around a lot in that area as my dad did a one-year tour of duty in Vietnam and then was on “recruiting duty” (for the United States Marine Corp) and moved to wherever they needed a recruiter next.

Here are the houses we visited today:

914 Eastern Avenue | Fall River, MA | February 1961 – January 1963. While we lived here, John was 4-6 years old and Vivian was 1-3 years old. The street to the left side of the house (in the first picture) seemed like a very steep hill at the time, and John rode his new bike down it one time, gaining so much speed that he made a sharp turn into a driveway to try and slow down, lost control, and crashed with the handle bar going through his left (face) cheek. He still has the scar to prove it, because dad didn’t think it was worth going for stitches about it and just taped it together.

Front entrance
Side entrance

72 Dover Street | Fall River, MA | November 1964 – December 1964 and June 1966 – July 1966. We lived here the first time was when John was 7 and Vivian was 4, and the second time was when John was 8 and Vivian was 5. Our vovó (“vah-voh”) and vovô (“vah-voo”) owned this 3-story house—where they lived on the first floor, our aunt Vivian (my dad’s sister) lived on the 2nd floor, and our uncle Eddie and Aunt Laura lived on the 3rd floor—and we stayed with my grandparents for these 2 short periods of time until we found a house of our own to live in while dad did each of his 1-year tours of duty in Vietnam.

The 3-story view
This front porch used to be screened-in, and my grandfather sat on it a lot, sometimes playing his mandolin
Apparently a Martin (no relation) still resides on one floor of the house
We used to get “penny candy” from “Mr. Harris” at this store a hundred years ago

22B Carver Street | Fall River, MA. Our mémère and pépère, our maternal grandparents, lived here for a while, and it was virtually “around the corner” from my paternal grandparents’ house on Dover street. Their address was “22B” and it was the bottom right apartment.

56 Howland Street | Fall River, MA | July 1966 – December 1968. While we lived here, John was 9-10, and Vivian was 6-7. We remember a “mean landlord,” Mr. Daniels, who lived on the first floor of this house, while we rented the second floor from him. We went in that door to the right, which had the stairs to the upstairs just inside of it. Vivian remembers friends of hers while we lived here named “Norene and Dorene” and whose fingers were fused—two of their own fingers fused together, not one of Norene’s fingers fused to Dorene.

45 Breezy Lake Drive | Coventry, RI | December 1968 – December 1969. While we lived here, John was 11, and Vivian was 8. We lived in this split-level house for a year while my dad was in Vietnam the second time. My aunt Annette (my mother’s sister) and her husband, Uncle Frank, lived in the downstairs, which had been closed off as its own apartment. All the while (and for a total of 30 years), my uncle was building the house next door. He was a stone mason, and he cut each individual stone of the exterior of the house to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. There are a couple of other pictures of the house in this old posting of John’s. Breezy Lake was behind these houses and we had lots of fun ice skating on it.

The split level next door
The house that Uncle Frank built

Other places from our childhood that we visited today included:

Nick’s
This is a hot dog place we lived for as children, and one of the things we missed most moving down south. Sad, but true.

St. John’s Club
St John’s Club is “the Portuguese club” that my dad belonged to for years and years, and where he was sort-of a “local hero” (being a Marine, going off to war and back). There were 2 sides to the club, the bar (where only men could go), and the restaurant side, which included a jukebox that Vivian and I used to do The Salty Dog Rag and a line dance to a couples dance to Winchester Cathedral. Today, we ordered some steamed clams and some chourico (Portuguese sausage) sandwiches, 2 of our childhood favorites.

Notre Dame Cemetery
We brought Vivian and Jeff by to visit our grandparents, who Bob and I had visited the first week we were here.

Paternal grandparents
Maternal grandparents

We had a full day and completely forgot about visiting the Lizzy Borden house, about which we’re okay.

Back at the house, we played a game of Scrabble, skipped dinner in favor of appetizers, and later played some Catch Phrase.

Bob, John, & Vivian’s Scrabble game
A peach and jalapeño cheese ball

On our way out of Fall River, we dropped by to see our Aunt Vivian and Uncle Nibby, spending about a half hour sitting in their driveway catching up with them. So nice.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 23

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~Sunday~ We showed Vivian and Jeff the Nauset Light lighthouse and beach, and they re-created the Cape Cod chip bag pic, and then we stopped by the Eastham Windmill and Memorial Buoy Tree.

Vivian, Jeff, Nauset Light
Vivian, Jeff, windmill

We had lunch at home, and then walked around the Evergreen Congressional & Soldiers Cemetery, marks the site of Eastham’s second meeting house and town center in the same way that the Cove Cemetery marks the location of the original meeting house and settlement.

There was a lot going on at this gravesite. The little animal in the right picture is a “zoom in” of one of those in the trees in the left picture.

A Bob-and-Vivian afternoon project. Today, this looks like a square pan of baked beans, but tomorrow it’s going to be obvious that it’s maple walnut fudge.

Tomorrow we’ll all be heading to “the homestead”—Fall River, Massachusetts, where we’ll drive around and look at these houses we used to live in in the area:

  • 72 Dover Street (where my paternal grandparents lived)
  • 22B Carver Street (where my maternal grandmother lived in her later years)
  • 914 Eastern Avenue
  • 56 Howland Street
  • Warren Street
  • 45 Breezy Lake Drive (Coventry, RI)

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 22

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~Saturday~ We’ll always remember where we were when we heard the official declaration of President-elect Joe Biden and Vice-President-elect Kamala Harris.

We took a walk on the Cape Code Rail Trail, the first time I’ve been on it, and Bob’s fourth. We had beautiful weather for it with a high of 71° today.

This is mostly a biking trail, and in fact, we only saw one other person walking (her dog) the whole time. We were passed by many bikers, with maybe only a third of them giving us a verbal “Coming up on your left” warning, but no one being dangerous in any way. Some of the scenery:

Trail sign
CCRT post
Bob and John

I loved this sign that we saw at a point in the trail where you could step off it and into someone’s backyard. And it reminded me of the meme on the right that I’ve seen several times lately.

All day, we waited in great anticipation of Vivian and Jeff’s (my sister and brother-in-law’s) arrival as they made the 13.5-hour trek up here from Greenville, NC.

Vivian is turning 60 while she’s here (on Thursday), and her “peeps” made her a birthday basket full of snacks and spirits to take on her trip up here, and she brought a special bottle of champagne that we’re going to drink on Thursday.

Today was a good day.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 21

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~Friday~ Kathy and I ran to Mac’s Market & Kitchen Eastham to get 2 lbs. of fresh haddock filets for tonight’s dinner.

After dropping it off at home, she and I went to Nauset Light Beach and walked for a little while along the shore. Then, we made a quick visit to the Eastham Windmill and Memorial Buoy Tree.

We picked up lunch at Sam’s Deli, where I ordered The Turkey Club, Bob ordered The Basil Rathbone, and Kathy ordered a cup of their Clam Chowder.

After eating lunch back at the house, the three of us played a game of Scrabble. We were going to wait until we heard an election update to start drinking, but then Kathy—in all her wisdom—asked, “Why?” So, we enjoyed some happy hour cocktails and snacks while we played our game.

Dinner was a real treat tonight. Kathy recently made the news:

Maine Maple Haddock wins big at Maine Maple Producer’s Weekend

Katherine Vaillancourt of Georgetwon, won top entrée at the annual event.



She made this award-winning dish for us for dinner tonight, and Bob supplemented it with some zucchini sautéed in butter and garlic and some mixed greens with cherry tomatoes and feta cheese. Kathy also made the iced raisin cookies for dessert.

Complete meal

This dish is award-winning for a reason. Absolutely delicious! Here is the recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 2 lbs. fresh haddock filets
  • ½ stick butter
  • 2 short sleeves of Ritz crackers (or 1 large sleeve)
  • ½ cup Maine Maple Cream
  • ½ cup milk

Instructions:

  1. Butter 4 individual baking dishes.
  2. Divide haddock into serving size and lay in buttered dishes.
  3. Crush crackers and distribute evenly over fish.
  4. Dot with remaining butter.
  5. Drizzle Maine Maple Cream over butter.
  6. Add milk to each dish to the level of filets.
  7. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
  8. Bake at 425° for 20-25 minutes until tops are golden.

Makes 4 servings.

In the words of my dear friend, “We made some nice memories today.”

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 20

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~Thursday~ It was with great pleasure that I hung out both my figurative and literal, respectively, out-of-the-office message at the end of my work day.

Gone fishing sign Gmail O-O-O autoresponse

Bob walked for about an hour-and-a-half today. He visited the miniature golf course as part of the Red Barn collection of shops. Not exactly sure if that rabbit is getting ready to take a dump or get hit with an errant golf ball in a place that’ll really hurt.

Barn collection
Putt-Putt donkey Putt-Putt goat
Putt-Putt rabbit Putt-Putt pig

And saw potential retirement editing work for me should we decide to retire in this quiet little town.

Dinning Missing 'on'

Speaking of signs, look at the Roger-superscripted-s Barber Shop. I sort of like it. It’s like a portmanteau of an apostrophe and the possessive “s.”

Barber shop Barber shop name
Pets welcome, people tolerated, mannequins abandoned
People & pets sign Mannequin in door window

The art of art. Buoys-as-art seems popular here. That dentist office sign has a lot going on. Is it a dentist office? Is it an art studio? Is it a dentist with her art displayed in the waiting room? Is it the “fine art of cosmetic dentistry?” It seems to be the latter if her website provides any clarity. And with all that said, she’s very accomplished.

Humanity sign Buoy art Fine art of dentistry

One of my favorite people from high school arrived late this afternoon, and we had a wonderful evening eating, catching up, and playing games. Bob made dinner and Kathy provided the homemade Boston Cream Pie for dessert. Bourbon and wine may have been consumed throughout the evening.

Catch Phrase
Dinner Boston Cream Pie

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 19

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~Wednesday~ Bob made a grocery shopping run to the Stop & Shop this morning.

We took separate walks again today, with Bob doing his during the work day, and me doing mine after work, which felt a little bit rushed because sunset was at 4:28 today. Thanks, Daylight Saving Time.

Bob walked 3.84 miles to and back from the Cape Cod Bay coast, where he passed this (closed) thrift store and peered into its windows:

Thrift Store Thrift store window 1
Thrift store window 2 Thrift store window close-up

and spent a little time on the shore, where he saw various and sundry things.

A rocky shoreline
Sunset on the bay
A horseshoe crab
And its innards
Horseshoe crab under
Some seaweed
Some seaweed
A crab
A crab

My walk was 1.34 miles, and I captured the signs of several of the little “shopping centers” that are within walking distance of our place.

Seatoller Eastham Common Main Street Mercantile Village Green

I also came upon this strange looking building, which really stood out due to its color. Almost all of the other houses here are that classic Cape Cod gray color that the top part of this one is.

The place was all closed up, with a cinderblock standing in front of the side door. And through the window, you could see stairs, which seemed to be right in front of the window, leading to a second floor.

And two final things—one from my walk and one from Bob’s.

A roadside ghost bike
A sign of kindness

Tomorrow is my last day of work here, and I plan to start early and finish early, as my high school friend is arriving in the late afternoon.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 18

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~Tuesday~ I had no work meetings today, but I did have a 5- to 10-minute impromptu video chat initiated by a colleague who’s good about keeping in touch.

We both took walks today, Bob’s earlier in the day and much longer than mine. I did mine after work, and, no, I didn’t purposely walk a route that would look like an erect penis in the MapMyWalk app. It just happened—like good, morning wood.

Bob’s walk: 2.9 miles
Bob's walk
John’s walk: .65 miles
John's walk

Before I set out on my walk, I checked out the laundry and book exchange building, which Bob has been in several times now, but I hadn’t yet seen.

In checking out the book collection, I saw the book Bob just finished reading (highlighted in red) beside the book he contributed (highlighted in green) to the collection.

This was my first walk just to get some exercise (which I had planned to do every day while we were here since we don’t have access to an elliptical machine, but I haven’t done it), and I went into the US Post Office, which Bob also has been to several times, just to check it out. It’s much bigger than I had imagined.

I also noticed that this building that I thought was a house is actually a bank. Other than the mention of an ATM (and, admittedly, the “Member FDIC” notation, if you know what that is), it’s not at all obvious it’s a bank. Maybe if instead of the “5,” it said “nickel,” or the “5” was paired with “& Dime,” it’d’ve been obvious.

Bob made a “Fall River staple” from my childhood for us for dinner tonight. It was “beef chow mein,” as we added ground beef to it along with the sliced celery and chopped onions. Yummy!

It’s time to brace ourselves for the evening (and probably days to come) with some bourbon and champagne on hand (for various outcomes) as Election Day 2020 unfolds.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 17

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~Monday~ Today is the first day of my (short) last week working while we’re here. I’m taking off Friday, all next week while my sister and her husband are here, and the following Monday, which is the day we drive back.

Today I thought about the clocks that we’ll have to adjust the time on when we get home.


There are 12 of them, and these are in addition to the 6 that we have that adjust themselves. Why in the world would 2 people have 18 clocks you wonder, and where in the heck are they all? Good question about why so many, and here’s the inventory:

To be manually adjusted Self-adjusting
  1. Primary bedroom nightstand (digital)
  2. Primary bathroom (digital)
  3. Music/TV room (digital)
  4. Music/TV room (analog)
  5. Living room (analog)
  6. Kitchen radio (digital)
  7. Microwave (digital)
  8. Stove (digital)
  9. Office desk (digital)
  10. Guest bathroom (analog)
  11. Back porch (analog)
  12. Ford Fusion (digital)
  1. John’s Lenovo PC
  2. Bob’s Dell PC
  3. John’s iPhone
  4. Bob’s iPhone
  5. John’s ThinkPad work laptop
  6. Shed radio

Bob did some laundry today, and he took advantage of the little book exchange there to borrow The President’s Lady.

I started on my 62nd book to add to my collection of 2020 books read to date.

Like a lot of people in our country tonight, we’re anxious about what tomorrow will bring, but at least we’ll always remember where we were for Election Day 2020.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 16

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~Sunday~ Bob made breakfast for our guests today—scrambled eggs & sausage. I buttered and lightly pan-toasted some massa—Portuguese sweet bread. We served it all with a side of mimosas.

Before they headed back to Dorchester, Boston, we made the short ride to Nauset Beach so Maggie and Phil could see the beach.

We saw a bunch of birds out a ways on the water, and a seal very close to shore. I hope it was on high alert:

Great white sharks hunt seals in shallow water at this beach.”
Shark lunch!

Sign of the times

And down on the beach, we saw this perplexing sight:


That bird had one broken leg, and it was chowing down on that young buck.

Maggie and Phil headed out from the beach. Back at the house, Bob and I had a relaxing afternoon that included a nap and a game of IRL Scrabble accompanied by happy hour.

For dinner, we had the leftovers of the meal Maggie made and brought yesterday.

In the evening, Bob (re-)watched Airport, and I finished my 61st book of the year, Olive, Again.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 15

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~Saturday~ We had planned to check out the meat raffle to see what it was all about, but when we got to the Eastham Elk’s Lodge, where it’s held, there wasn’t anyone there.

Our next stop was going to be the Eastham Superette to pick up some champagne—in it, or in the attached liquor store—and to see what they actually carry in that little store for future reference. Outside the Superette was this little gem of a sculpture:

“Cape Cod Gothic” – 2016 (Anita & Seymour Codd)
Jamie DaLomba – Metal Sculpture Art; JJ Welding – North Eastham
Also nearby, I cannot lie, was this intimidating street.

and coming out of the store, we noticed that the Eastham Windmill, which we had planned to check out at some point, was right across the street. Also on “the green” near the windmill was a “Memorial Buoy Tree,” which is a tribute to its deceased creator, Eastham native James Filliman, who was “a clammer, a builder, a beach walker and collector, who enjoyed using things he found in nature.” Read Jimmy’s obit, if you’re interested.

Maggie, Bob’s niece—his oldest sister’s daughter—and her partner Phil arrived today from Dorchester, Boston for an overnight visit. Maggie’s a chef for a living, and she brought dinner!

Sweet Potato Cottage Pie: Spicy ground beef with olives and raisins topped with whipped sweet potatoes; Cauliflower: Roasted with browned butter, cilantro, pepitas, and lime; Mixed Greens: Pumpkin spiced-pecans, cranberries, crumbled goat cheese.

After dinner and many cocktails, we played a fun game during which we laughed and laughed and laughed:

“What’s something you do that’s irresponsible? was one of our questions, which led to hilarity.
Saving pennies on the penny

Here are some of the words contained in our collective responses. Two of them were kind-of popular:

It was a real fun evening—laughing a lot and learning a lot about each other. And bonus—we got an extra hour of sleep afterward.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 14

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~Friday~ I took a vacation day today, like I’m doing every Friday while we’re here.

We drove to Sandwich, MA to check out the Sandwich Glass Museum. We arrived right on the (11:00) hour, which is when the glass-blowing demonstrations start, so we joined one just a couple of minutes into it.

The gentleman made 2 pieces while we watched, the first was a small vase, and the second was a small pitcher.

After his demonstration, we walked around the museum, which was much bigger than it looked like from the outside.

I dream of Jeannie houses
Festive glass

I really liked these fish-themed pieces:

And 2 other favorites of mine:

Crucifix candlesticks
Blown trick tumbler

If you’re interested, you can see lots more in this public Facebook photo album.

After the museum, but before we left Sandwich to head back to Eastham, we stopped at the Bob O’Malley’s Whaleback Restaurant, and oh what a treat it was. The place looked much smaller than it did in the pictures on the web, and there were only 2 cars in the lot when we arrived, which we didn’t take as a good sign.

But inside, it was a quaint little place, and Beth invited us to eat in, since there was no one else in there. And she was so nice, and of course, very mask-cautious putting it on whenever she came to our table.

We ordered one seafood platter to share and each a stuffed quahog. It was all so delicious!

Once back in Eastham, we stopped at the Stop & Shop grocery store to pick up just a few things in anticipation of guests we’re having tomorrow and Sunday. Bob’s niece, Maggie and her partner Phil, who live just outside Boston are going to visit us for the weekend.

At home we played a game of IRL Scrabble, with which enjoyed some hot tea to take off the chill. It was pretty cold, windy, and rainy out there today.

We finished off the eggnog with some eggnog martinis for happy hour tonight, and had a light dinner, since we had such a filling lunch.

I’m declaring my second Friday vacation day here a success.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 13

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~Thursday~ It was my “virtual Friday” and the highlight of my work day was listening to the finalists of the We Are Red Hat Week Open Mic event. Such incredible talent across this great company of ours:

A baton twirler—complete with 2 fire-burning batons—skillfully avoided catching any of her hair, body parts, or clothing on fire; a ballcap-wearing, fisherman-looking guy singing a song from a Broadway musical; and a whirling-Dervish-like dancer to Bollywood music were among my favorites.

The chair I’m using as a desk chair is, well, let’s just say it’s not very comfortable. In addition to the back support cushion, I’m up to 2 pillows on the seat to make it comfortable enough to spend 8 hours on.


I did a Google search on “office furniture rental desk chairs” and actually found a place that rents a pretty decent chair for $37 for a month. But then, I calculated that I really only have 4 more work days here (Mon – Thu of next week), and I might take Thursday off. The following week (11/7 – 11/11), and the Monday (11/16) after, I’m on vacation, so I’m just going to make it work for another 3 or 4 days.

Bob made a walking trip to the post office to mail some postcards, where he came across this “Stamposaurus” project —”a collection box for cancelled stamps was set up for school children for art projects and for stamp collecting for all ages”—that’s been going on for 30 years. You can learn more by clicking on the “How the journey began…” photo.

He also took note of the Eastham Public Libraries Activities board, and stopped by the General Store where they’re really getting to know him.

There is a 100% chance of rain, pretty much all day tomorrow, so we looked for something we can do indoors. We’ve settled on, temporarily at least, visiting The Sandwich Glass Museum in, well, Sandwich, MA, some time tomorrow.

I’ve made a note of a few restaurants near the museum in which we can stop for a sandwich in Sandwich. Two leading contenders are: Bob O’Malley’s Whaleback Restaurant and Bobby Byrnes. (Hmmm, I see a theme here with these restaurant names. Do you, Bob?)

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 12

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~Wednesday~ We’re getting excited about my sister and her husband coming up in a week-and-a-half, and she and I had a discussion last night about a couple of things.

She’s going to bring some food when they drive up, and she asked if I was still dieting. To which I responded with: “This is our ‘snack corner’ of the counter. Does this look like I’m still dieting?” ☺

The reality is that I am eating this junk, but I’m also practicing portion control when doing so. There was a time when I would eat a whole bag or container without giving it a second (or first) thought.

Another thing we talked about is that there are essentially 2 primary bedrooms on the first floor—with a trade-off situation. One has a TV in it, but its bathroom is smaller, with only 1 sink. The other one doesn’t have a TV in it, but its bathroom is bigger, with 2 sinks.

We asked them if they have a preference, because we don’t care. We’ve been in the one with the TV, but we haven’t watched it at all, and won’t. (We don’t have a TV in our bedroom at home.)

They chose the one with the TV in it, so Bob spent some time today moving us from one room to the other. These are the “after” pictures:

Bedroom with the TV, but a smaller bathroom
(it’s ready for Vivian & Jeff)
Bedroom with no TV, but a bigger bathroom
(we’ve moved into it)

We check our home cam each day just to make sure we’re not missing anything. We told our neighbor to feel free to park in our driveway so that it looks like someone’s coming and going there during our month away. It always makes us smile when we see their car there.


Bob always checks to see if he’d be mowing the lawn or how many leaves he’d be raking if we were there.

I always check to see if our across-the-street neighbor is still parked on their lawn at their front door.

I had a late/early meeting with a colleague of mine who works in Australia—7 -8 a.m. (tomorrow) her time, 5 – 6 p.m. (today) my time, so there was a slight delay to the start of our happy hour today.

Tomorrow’s my “virtual Friday” leading into my long weekend.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 11

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~Tuesday~ Each year in the last week of October, we celebrate “We Are Red Hat Week” at work, which consists of a lot of activities you can opt into. Today, I participated in:

We were matched up with 5 other Red Hatters we didn’t know, from around the company, and after introducing ourselves to each other (i.e., name, team, and time with Red Hat), we answered 7 ice breaker questions. Here they are with my answers:

1. What’s your favorite part of your job?

Editing the Command Line Heroes transcripts; editing webinar titles, abstracts, and speaker bios; and editing the Red Hat Summit session titles and abstracts.

2. What’s something you love about your work at Red Hat?

Getting Red Hat Rewards and my fun, creative, and smart team.

3. What’s the most special item on your desk or in your travel bag? If you have the item, show it on the video, if desired. Briefly share why it is special, or why you like to keep it with you at your desk or when you travel.

I have a 2-picture frame of my sister receiving her doctorate’s degree and the acknowledgments page of her dissertation, which includes a thanks to me for inspiring her research.

4. What is one of your workday morning rituals? Whether it’s working out, meditating, spending time with your children or pets, do you have something you regularly like to do before you start your work day?

I’m not a morning person, so all I do before starting my workday is shower and have breakfast. I do have an after-work ritual of doing the USA Today Crossword Puzzle online with my husband. (It’s an everyday ritual; we do it on the weekends, too.)

5. What has been one of your biggest challenges during the pandemic? Little or big, what’s something you’ve been challenged by during these strange times?

Not being able to meet my friends out at a local bar on Friday nights, which we did very routinely.

6. What’s something you would never want to change at Red Hat? As we grow, change is inevitable. But, what’s something about our culture, our norms, etc. that you feel is so special that you would never want to see changed? Why?

When we’re working in the Red Hat Tower building, free bagel Wednesdays in the cafeteria. Why? Because I love both bagels and free.

7. How do you describe life at Red Hat to your family and friends? Working for the world’s largest open source software company can be unique. When people ask what it’s like to work at Red Hat, what are some of the things you describe?

I usually talk about the flexible work hours, feeling like I’m seen and heard there, how great my team is, and how much I enjoy doing work that I love.

I really enjoyed meeting the people in our group and hearing all of their answers to these questions.

Bob went on a couple of walks today, the first included a stop by the nearby post office to mail some postcards and a greeting card. There are still plenty of flowers in bloom here.

On his second outing, he saw these 2 vehicles that surprised us because we’ve passed a roadside sign, several times now, that says “John Martin” on it, and we’d both assumed—for some odd reason—that the person was a realtor. But as it turns out, he owns a local excavating company.

One rather bizarre sign Bob came across was this:

Although we’ve never heard of them, meat raffles are definitely a thing. We might just participate in this one on Saturday if when we get there, it looks like it’s being managed safely with regards to the pandemic.

Snarky aside: Not exactly sure what that orange with the bone shoved up its hind end is doing in the picture, but whatever. 😉

Have you ever attended, or even heard of, a meat raffle? If so, do tell.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 10

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~Monday~ Our Red Hat marketing organization had a “virtual offsite” today, even though we’re all offsite all the time now. When we’re in the office, this is a meeting that we have away from the office in a local establishment, which includes a catered breakfast, lunch, and an open bar “happy (2-3) hour(s)” at the end of the day.

Obviously, we can’t replicate all that virtually, and even though there’s, proverbially, “no free lunch,” we were authorized to expense our lunch today in the spirit of the meeting. Bob and I ordered takeout from a local restaurant that we’ve had our eye on since arriving.

John’s order
California Chicken Sandwich: sprouts, avocado, queso fresco, 1000 island on wheat
Bob’s order
Cape Cod Reuben: fried cod filet, coleslaw, swiss, 1000 island on marble rye

Bob had a busy day today—doing our grocery shopping for this week and doing our first load of laundry here in the quaint little laundry (and small library!) area that’s part of the deal here. He also cleared away our bar that we’d set up on the countertop over the dishwasher, because the owner had a new dishwasher installed today. (See what it looked like prior to being cleared.)

To top off Bob’s busy day, he cooked homemade hamburgers for dinner on one of the two Weber charcoal grills that are here for our use.

That’s it for today.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 9

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~Sunday~ At about 9:30, we headed to Fall River, which was about a 1.5-hour ride. This is the city I grew up in until a year before we moved to North Carolina when I was 13. For the year right before we moved, we lived in Coventry, RI, which we’ll visit when my sister gets here early in November.

Our first stop in Fall River was to the Notre Dame Cemetery, where both sets of my grandparents are buried. We had a hell of a time trying to find my paternal grandparents’ grave (just like I did last year—and never did find it), and it turns out the person in the office had given me the wrong plot information—think way off, like on the opposite side of the cemetery.

Thanks to my cousin, Sandy, who volunteers there and who was in touch with us yesterday with a picture of the headstone, and who provided us with the correct section and plot number by text today.

Another of my cousins, Patsy, met us there, and together we located the grave. We’d brought some cleaning materials with us, and Bob ingratiated himself to my grandparents by spit-shining their headstone.

And as it turns out, my grandfather did have a middle name, which means my father really wasn’t a junior, but since I seem to be the only one devastated by that, I’m just going to let it go.

We also found (and cleaned off) my paternal grandparents’ grave, where I said a quick, socially distanced prayer.

Our next stop was for lunch at one of our favorite childhood eating haunts, and we passed Fall River’s “flat iron building” on the way. Doesn’t every big city have one of these?

Lunch!


They had a buy-5-get-1-free special, which we couldn’t resist. I got “sauce and onions” on mine (they don’t call it chili; they call it sauce), and Bob had ketchup, mustard, and dill pickles on his.

We wanted to stop at Amaral’s Portuguese Bakery while we were in town, but they were closed today. Fortunately, while at the cemetery together, we’d ask Patsy about places to get some sweet bread, and she said they actually sell Amaral’s products in the grocery stores, so we stopped at a Stop & Shop and bought some of my Portuguese/Fall River favorites:

On the way back to the Cape, just outside Fall River, we passed an exit that was very close to my Aunt Rita’s house, and I wanted to make sure she and Bob met, so I gave her a call to see if she was home and up for a short hello from outside.

She was, and we did. Love her to pieces.

An hour-and-20-minutes later, we were back in Eastham, just in time for happy hour, after which I had to have something for dinner on those sweet rolls we’d just bought. And what could be better on a Portuguese sweet roll than some chourico (Portuguese sausage)!

I know you’re glad this day and blog entry are over. If I say Portuguese one more time…

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 8

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~Saturday~ We made the short trip up to Provincetown today. Every person we saw there was wearing a mask. And leave it to P-town to be inclusive:
Heteronormative vs. gender fluid mandatory mask signs

Unequivocally, the thing I was most looking forward to in P-town was a stop at The Portuguese Bakery to get some malassadas, so you can imagine my disappointment at finding this:

John in front of the Provincetown Portuguese Bakery Closed for the season sign on the door of the Provincetown Portuguese Bakery

And as if to pour salt in the wound, a local walking by seeing us take this picture said, “And they’re actually closing for good. They’re not opening back up in 2021.”

I can’t find any article online to corroborate that, so I’m just going to pretend it’s not true until I see it (or read about it) with my own eyes.” Denial is not a river in Egypt.

(l) It’s so refreshing to see your humanity affirmed in a t-shirt slogan. (r) The Herring Cove tank top makes me laugh ’cause “girl” is not gonna let go of her bag no matter how high the water gets.

T-shirt store with t-shirt sayings on them that affirm gay people's humanity User's guide to Herring Cove tank top

Here’s Bob on the steps of the town hall recreating a picture he took there about 20 years ago.

Bob on the town hall front steps

We’ve been wondering about a couple of things since we arrived here a week ago. The first is about “heart art” on pallets we’ve seen all along the roads:

Red heart painted on a wooden pallet

It turns out they are to support and honor the healthcare workers working on the frontline of COVID, as described in this Painted hearts spread across south shore celebrate front-line workers Coronavirus crises article.

And the second thing is why the fire hydrants here have antennas on them:

A red fire hydrant with an antenna sticking up from it

According to a Reddit discussion, they’re for when the snow drifts get high enough to cover them—so the fire fighters can find them easily and so that snow plows don’t hit the ones that are on the sides of roads.

Although, one Reddit user posits that the real reason they’re there is “so dogs can listen to the radio while they do their business.”

By the way, the colors of fire hydrants are also significant, if you didn’t know. The red ones, like the one shown here, have the lowest flow volume at fewer than 500 gallons per minute.

“Back at the ranch,” we just chilled out the rest of the day, enjoying the leftovers of yesterday’s clam fritter meal for today’s lunch. I read some, and Bob watched some YouTube entertainment.

After dinner, we put together our menu for next week, which informed our grocery store list for Bob’s Monday Stop & Shop trip.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 7

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~Friday~ I got my first-ever “cut on the Cape”—a haircut, that is. Bob did it using our new clipper set, which includes a vacuum and trap that catches the hair while it trims.


That must be a “sample” of gray hair that came with the clippers to show you how the vacuum works.

At a little after 9 a.m., we headed south to Yarmouth, where we stopped at Target before going to The Edward Gorey House, which opened at 11 a.m.

For those who don’t know: Edward St. John Gorey (February 22, 1925 – April 15, 2000) was an American writer and artist noted for his illustrated books. His characteristic pen-and-ink drawings often depict vaguely unsettling narrative scenes in Victorian and Edwardian settings. Many people know him for his artwork for PBS’s Mystery.

The curator was very knowledgeable and likeable and did a good job of giving us an overview of the house and the life of Mr. Gorey. In this public Facebook album, you should be able to see the just under 50 pictures I took in the museum house if you’re interested.

Upon leaving, we asked the curator if he knew where we could get some “clam cakes,” and he gave us a few possible places, from which we chose the Chatham Pier Fish Market, where we both ordered the “famous” clam fritters.

Less than a mile from this restaurant was the Chatham Light lighthouse, which a lot of people confuse with the Nauset Light lighthouse that’s on the bag of Cape Cod chips (which has a red section to it, and which we have a picture of further down in this entry), and since we were so close to this one, we stopped by for a picture.

On our drive back, we saw this amusing sign—which I at first thought was mocking my hips—as we entered into a densely populated area:

And then back in Eastham, we saw this sign, which we of course had to get a picture of, in the front yard of a house on the way to the Nauset Light lighthouse:

At the Nauset Light lighthouse, we used the bag of Cape Cod chips we bought specifically to use as a prop in this picture, and then I added the text to it once we got home.

Rounding off our “clammy” day, we had some fantastic clam chowder for dinner that we bought in the seafood section at the grocery store on Sunday.

I am going to go ahead and call my first Friday off here a big success. Tomorrow, we’re planning to go up to “P-town.”

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 6

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~Thursday~ I’m pretty lucky in that I usually have just 1-2 work meetings a day, and often I don’t have any at all on 1 or 2 days of the week. That was not the case today. I had meetings from 10:00 to 4:00, with 2 of them overlapping, which I had to choose between. Our team meeting won out, because it’s usually fun, and I love our team.

Bob took another walk today, this time to the east coast of the Cape where he encountered the Nauset Lighthouse of the Cape Cod chip bag fame.

Also in that area were The Three Sisters lighthouses, which earned their nickname because when looked at from afar, they looked like black-hatted women dressed in white. (Full disclosure: The hyphen is my own. I don’t think they meant “Black, hatted women,” and if they did, they should have capitalized the word black and added that comma. But I digress.)

And, of course, he found the Atlantic Ocean coastline.

I received an interesting message and photo from my first cousin about our paternal grandparents’ grave that I talked about yesterday: “Just thought I’d show you that our paternal grandparents’ grave is not buried. It’s one of the graves I monitor, and I just called the office to have the stone raised.”

Manuel Martin: 1893 – 1966; Mary Martin: 1903 – 1991

One interesting thing about this picture is seeing that “M.” in my grandfather’s name. It’s my understanding that he didn’t have a middle name, since my dad was named Manuel Martin, Jr.—and he was proud of that junior and always included it when he said/wrote his name. If my grandfather did have a middle name, and my dad didn’t, dad would not be a junior. I’ll have to follow up with my aunt (dad’s sister) about that.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 5

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~Wednesday~ Another uneventful workday, which is exactly what we like.

Bob took a drive to Orleans for a Stop & Shop grocery store run and a TJ Maxx stop (considering a door mat, some potholders or oven mitts, and a couple of wash cloths).

After lunch, he took a walk to the nearby Cape Cod Rail Trail, one of the national rails-to-trails conversion projects.

At the grocery store on Sunday, we saw this lobster already removed from the shells for just under $19 for the package. And in our typical fashion, we hemmed and hawed about spending that much money on something, but ended up buying it. It was totally worth it!

Happy hour: Eggnog-amaretto-bourbon cocktails, lobstah, and drawn buttah

We’ve begun to think about things to do this long weekend. All of my weekends while here are going to be “long” weekends, because I’m taking all Fridays off.

A couple of things we’re considering so far, one of which was suggested by a Facebook friend who knows we’re here, include:

  • The Edward Gorey House in Yarmouth: In what will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me well, I’m interested in the current exhibit there called “He wrote it all down Zealously: Edward Gorey’s Interesting Lists.” one should resist the urge to write it downI love lists, tracking, spreadsheets, and charts, and if you need any more proof of that, visit my My quantified self page. It’s a list of lists, essentially!

  • The Portuguese Bakery in Provincetown: I want some malassadas (“Portuguese doughnuts”), which always remind me of my Portuguese paternal grandmother who used to make them for us as children. (She’d roll over in her grave if she could see what they’re getting for these at $3.15 a piece!)

  • The city of Chatham: At least 3 of my Facebook friends have spent time in this city, and we want to check it out.

  • Notre Dame Cemetery in the city of Fall River: I grew up in Fall River, and although we plan to spend a full day there when my sister and her husband are visiting later on in our stay here, Bob and I are thinking about going there on Sunday to most likely visit the cemetery where both sets of my grandparents are buried.

    I visited there last year about this time, and this time I will bring a trowel with us to “dig out” my paternal grandparents’ in-ground headstone if it’s still in the same shape as it was then and shown here.

    Yes, my paternal grandparents’ headstone is under there
    (This is the grave in which my grandmother would be rolling over about the malassadas.)
    My maternal grandparents’ grave

Getting excited about the weekend just creating this entry! Tomorrow’s my “virtual Friday.”

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 4

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~Tuesday~ Another successful work day. We experienced a short, mid-afternoon power outage, but fortunately, I had recently saved the document I was working in, so I lost very little work. This is the second outage we’ve had since we arrived. The first one was the first day, and it was in the middle of the night, so no harm done. Hopefully it won’t be a “regular” thing. UPDATE: Large power outage affecting the Outer Cape

Bob explored a little more today, taking a walk to the closest coast. Where we are in Eastham is a just a tad bit closer to the west coast of the Cape than the east coast, so he went west, following a sign for Cooks Brook Beach.

He passed some “rainbow art”:

before reaching the beach:

You know who left those footprints all over the place, right?

We bought some eggnog at the Stop & Shop on Sunday, and we used some of it to make eggnog martinis for happy hour tonight. Good stuff.

Here’s the recipe:

A dear friend from high school, who now lives in Maine, was in touch today, and we’ve made plans to see each other while we’re here. So excited.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 3

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~Monday~ I found the local classical station, Classical 107.5 WFCC (“Cape Classical”) to listen to on the radio during my editing day. So far it’s pretty good. It’s nice to know, too, that at any time, I can tune in to my “home” classical station, 89.7 WCPE, which streams on the internet 24 hours a day.

Funny thing related to this, when we first got here, driving up the Cape, I remember thinking how “small town” the entire Cape is and thinking about what it might be like living here, and I thought, “There’d be no symphony or opera here for entertainment, for sure.” But, lo and behold, one of the first things I heard when I turned on “Cape Classical” was an ad for the upcoming Symphony Spoooktacular sponsored by none other than the Cape Symphony! So much for preconceived notions.

We solved the mystery as to whether this “fan-like appliance” in the upstairs hallway was a fan, a humidifier, or a dehumidifier.


It’s actually a Whirlpool Whispure 510 air purifier. You know you wanted to know.

My first day working from here was smooth sailing—I started at 7:30 and quit at 4:30.

During his day, Bob took a walk around the area checking out the businesses that are within walking distance of us, which include The General Store (red sign to the left), a U.S. Post Office (in the middle), and a Ben & Jerry’s (to the right). Not pictured, but just around the side of Ben & Jerry’s is a Dunkin’ doughnut place.

There are several others businesses, too, including the Cumberland Farms convenience store we walked to on our first night here, a liquor store, and several restaurants, including a couple of seafood places and a deli.

After work, we walked together to check out Willy’s Gym, 0.4 of a mile from our place, to see what kind of temporary (month-long) memberships they might offer, and how it was being managed for safety during the pandemic.

It’s a decent place; it even includes a pool, but it’s $140 each for a month, and that’s not going to work. That’s a year and 2 months each in Planet Fitness value. $280 is way too much for a month just to access an elliptical machine, which is all we’ll use there. I mean we only paid $500 to buy our own elliptical machine at home!

Upon returning home, we did our daily USA Today Crossword Puzzle online and had happy hour. Rituals. Comforting.

I texted the owner this evening to help us figure out how to get the DVD player working and how to access Netflix from this entertainment center setup, because we couldn’t get it to work. It turned out a third remote was needed that was in one of the bedrooms instead of in the living room where it was needed.

So, Bob is back in business tonight for his movie and TV watching, and I’ll start on my next book club book. Life is good.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 2

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~Sunday~ Since we fell asleep so early last night, we got up at 5 a.m.

I checked out the upstairs, which I hadn’t done yesterday, and I was delighted to find that there was another “desk” (which I put in quotes, because it was the same as the one downstairs and is really just a hard plastic table), and I decided to set up my “office” up there. It’s the room with the bunk beds in it.

At just before 10 a.m., we headed out to the nearest “big city” (Orleans, MA), to shop at a TJ Maxx for a couple of non-grocery items (e.g., an ice bin to put in the freezer to hold ice cubes, some measuring spoons, and a kitchen sink stopper) and the Stop & Shop grocery store, which turned out to be right next door to the TJ Maxx.

Back at the house, I put together my workstation to be ready to use first thing in the morning. Success:

Bob put the groceries away and did a hundred other things to make this house our own, such as re-organizing the kitchen to have things where he wants them and to store away things we’re not going to use (like a Keurig coffee machine), sweeping the deck, organizing a messy storage area under the stairs, and figuring out how the electric fireplace works.

We actually had a visitor this afternoon, David, who lives here—nearby and year-round—and is a business partner of the owner, and who was so nice! He wanted to let us know that there is a water main issue with the next-door laundry facility that’s supposed to be available to us while we’re here and that we are welcome to use his washer and dryer at any time.

Bob followed him over to his place, where he showed him how to access his laundry area, which is accessible without entering his home, and how the machines work. Bob got to know him a little bit during their time together, and it turns out he’s gay (and used to live in San Francisco with his now-deceased partner), and he told us that there’s a Lesbian couple staying nearby. We’re everywhere.

We tried to figure out, to no avail, the TV/DVD player set-up, and we’ll text the owner about that tomorrow.

Bob brought fresh jalapeños from our yard with us and made “poppers” with them as our dinner appetizer tonight, and they were most delicious—as always.

Hopes and dreams for tomorrow

  1. Me: Work my first day from here.
  2. Bob: Take a walk around the area.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 1

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~Saturday~ Since I’ll continue working remotely through at least the end of the year, my husband (Bob) and I are opting for a change of scenery. We’ve rented a little place on Cape Cod for a month!

I’ll work Mondays through Thursdays and take off Fridays during this time. For Friday day trips, P-town is about 35 minutes north of us and Hyannis is about 35 minutes south of us—with its ferries to Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard. You might be renting a place in New England if one of the kitchen amenities listed is a lobster pot!

I also have extended family in Fall River, MA; Westport, MA; Swansea, MA; Assonet, MA; and Tiverton, RI (all within about an hour-and-a-half of us) who we’ll try to safely visit during our month here, since none of them have ever met Bob.

This is the first of daily blog entries I’ll make to remember our experience.

Departing Raleigh, NC

We had our alarm set for 3 a.m., but at 2:20, we both realized neither of us was going to fall back asleep, so we just got up, had some cottage cheese for breakfast, finished packing the very few things we didn’t pack last night, and got on the road some time between 3:30 and 4:00.

Packing

Reason #263 that it’s a good thing neither of us has kids, because there really wouldn’t have been room for any of their stuff. The car was packed to the gills.

Maximum trunk space used

Maximum back seat spaced use

Just enough space for Bob to sit in the passenger seat

Food

Bob had planned food for us to eat en route, and the highlight was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and homemade banana bread. We enjoyed this at a rest area in Maryland at about 9:13. It seems early for a lunch, but since we’d started out at 3 in the morning, it was apropos.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Individually wrapped homemade banana bread slices

Travel

The trip was fairly uneventful. We did have a little confusion at times between what route Google Maps was telling us to take vs. what our AAA Trip Tik was telling us to take vs. just staying on I-95 North the whole way.

We made 3 stops along the way, and we were surprised, and pleased, at the vast majority of people that were wearing masks at the rest stops and gas stations.

Tolls

The tolls situation was less than ideal. Once getting north of Virginia, there were more tolls than we’d anticipated, and some of them ended up not collecting, some of them had cash-only lanes, and some of them were designated as “pay-by-mail” tolls.

The first toll road we approached had all the signs intact about stopping to pay your toll, but when we got to the booth, it said to just keep on going. We didn’t know if they weren’t collecting tolls because it was Saturday, or because they didn’t want to staff the booth because of COVID-19, or what.

Getting on the New Jersey Turnpike, the “NO EZ-Pass” lane we got in flashed yellow lights (from green) after we’d already chose the lane, and when we got to the booth, it wasn’t staffed, and a digital sign flashed: “No tag scanned. Keep moving.” Our booth/lane looked just like the 2 on either side of it at which we saw a driver take a ticket from a machine as they went through. Since there was no machine from which to take a ticket at ours, we just kept going and no one chased us or stopped us. At the end of the turnpike—I’m pretty sure we went the entirety of it—I told the cashier we didn’t get a ticket, but that we’d entered at the Delaware Bridge, and she charged us $18 and some change, which was the price indicated for a “lost ticket.” Whatever.

There were definitely more tolls than we anticipated. We paid $18.85 to go over that unimpressive George Washington Bridge, on which they could use some of the money they’re collecting to repave, if you ask us.

And a few of the toll booths were pay-by-mail booths where they scanned our plates, I guess. We’re concerned that we’re not going to see our mail for over a month. We need to look up how long you have to pay them before they start accruing late fees or fines. We can’t even ask our neighbors to be on the watch for them, because our mail is being held at the post office until Nov. 14.

Traffic

We did hit a highly annoying snag on I-95N through NY, where we experienced bumper-to-bumper traffic for about 45 minutes to an hour. And it was one of those situations where traffic would just come to a crawl or stop for no obvious reason whatsoever. After some time, it would pick back up—with no accident or any other thing in sight that might explain the slowdown—and then again after some time slow down again for no apparent reason. At what point we said:

Really? Bumper-to-bumper traffic? On an interstate? On a Saturday? During a pandemic?

Arrival

We arrived at about 4:30 p.m., which was 13 or 13.5 hours after we left. I’m not sure how this tripmeter on our car calculates time, but it seems to be an hour or so off. The mileage seems correct, as Google maps estimated between 761 and 821 miles.

Tripmeter

Because we were ready for a celebratory drink after a day on the road, the first thing we did was set up the bar in the place and have a toast to the start of our month-long adventure.

Then we took a short walk to the Cumberland Farms convenient store super close to our place to buy some ice, and we each got an ice cream treat. (Me, an ice cream sandwich; and Bob, a Cumberland Farmhouse black raspberry chocolate ice cream sandwich.)

There were two (frozen, Red Barron, pepperoni) pizzas left in the fridge, and we had one of those for dinner after checking with the owner that it was okay to eat them.

Bob made up our bed, and I laid down on it at about 8:30 and started reading a book on my phone on Libby. The next thing I knew, it was 5:00 in the morning Sunday.

Hopes and dreams for tomorrow

  1. Take a ride to see the area.
  2. Drive to the nearest “big” town, which is Orleans, MA, to its Stop and Shop grocery store and TJ Maxx store.
  3. Bob to unpack and put away everything in our house.
  4. John to set up each of our personal computers and then set up his workstation, including a printer provided by the owners.
  5. John to devise our daily blog entry.

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Clip art journey

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We both use sweatbands for our daily elliptical machine workouts and we hang them on the clothes rack with these clips.

Hanging on the clothes rack

Each day, Bob lays out 3 clips for me to use after my workout, and one day, he started making “clip art” from them1 They remind me of the “towel art” on cruises.

1What do you mean your significant other doesn’t lay out your clothespins for you?

I’ve given each piece of “art” a title, and I’m going to keep adding any more that might appear. They’re in the order of newest to oldest.

The elliptical machine is that-a-way
(liberty taken with the number of clips for this one)

Switching it up

Hanging around on the hanging lamp

A fan favorite

FANtastic

Getting some on the side (table)

Hibbidy, hibbidy, hibbidgee

What a pane

Handling it

All tucked in

Ready for bed

Coaster clipping

The queen’s clips

The erection set

Let me go

The uterus

It’s gossip time

Get in line

The roundabout

Fork ahead

Merge ahead

The YMCA

The peace sign

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2019 books read

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I have a goal to increase the number of books I read each year. In 2018, I read 26 books. This year, I read 29.

 

Here are some fun facts about the books I read in 2019:

Cost and sources
I spent $0.00 in 2019 for the 29 books I read this year. The source of my books included:

  • 21 borrowed from the Wake County Public Library (including regular-print, large-print, e-book, and audiobook editions)
  • 6 as free downloads from amazon.com via BookBub
  • 2 from Books at Amazon—1 as a free download and 1 that I paid $2.17 for back in 2017

Favorites/least favorites

Abandoned books
In addition to the 29 books I read this year, I abandoned 4:

Book club books
6 of the 29 books I read as part of The Mostly Social Book Club that I’m in:

Author diversity

  • 12 male writers
  • 15 female writers
  • 1 non-binary writer

New authors
26 of the authors I read this year, I was reading for the first time:

Albert Camus, Clive Barker, David Levithan, Delia Owens, Elin Hilderbrand, Emma Jameson, Franny Moyle, Garrard Conley, Gemma Jackson, Greer Hendricks, Haruki Murakami, Jacob Tobia, Jacquie Underdown, Jason Mott, Jeff Shelby, Judy Blume, Kevin Allison, Liane Moriarty, Marlene Wagman-Geller, Michelle Obama, Shayne Parkinson, Silk White, Stephen Chbosky, Tara Conklin, Will Schwalbe, Simon Winchester

Repeat authors
I’d read at least one other book by 2 of the authors of the books I read this year:

Most ambitious month
In September, I read 5 books:

Genres

  • Nonfiction: 8
  • Fiction: 21
  • Others: autobiography, biography, books about books, chick lit, classics, contemporary, French culture, Japanese culture, fantasy, feminism, history, horror, humanities, Irish culture, language, LGBT, literature, literary fiction, magical realism, memoir, mystery, paranormal, philosophy, queer, romance, science fiction, short stories, suspense, thriller, womens fiction, writing, young adult

Shortest / longest

Number of books read by pages

  • 7% (2 books) with fewer than 200 pages
  • 21% (6 books) with between 200-299 pages
  • 41% (12 books) with between 300-399 pages
  • 28% (8 books) with between 400-499 pages
  • 3% (1 book) with more than 500 pages

The 29 books I read in 2019—summary

Clicking on the title of a book will take you to its detailed entry below, which contains a description of the book and some thoughts I had about it.

Title Author Pages Duration Rating Genres
Two Henrys Kevin Allison 35 01/04/19 – 01/06/19 (3 days) 4 stars nonfiction, short stories, LGBT, queer
1Q84 Haruki Murakami 1318 01/07/19 – 01/23/19 (17 days) 5 stars fiction, fantasy, science fiction, magical realism, Japanese culture
A Spool of Blue Thread Anne Tyler 358 01/28/19 – 02/10/19 (14 days) 3 stars fiction, contemporary, literary fiction
Nine Perfect Strangers Liane Moriarty 453 02/09/19 – 02/14/19 (6 days) 3 stars fiction, contemporary, womens fiction
Becoming Michelle Obama 428 02/24/19 – 04/28/19 (63 days) 5 stars nonfiction, autobiography, memoir
The Last Romantics Tara Conklin 368 02/15/19 – 05/21/19 (96 days) 5 stars fiction, contemporary
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story Jacob Tobia 336 06/09/19 – 06/19/19 (11 days) 5 stars nonfiction, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
The Murder Pit Jeff Shelby 326 05/19/19 – 06/23/19 (36 days) 3 stars fiction, mystery
Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde Franny Moyle 336 06/08/17 – 06/26/19 (2 years, 19 days) 4 stars nonfiction, biography, history
The Professor & the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity & the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary Simon Winchester 288 06/27/19 – 07/03/19 (7 days) 5 stars nonfiction, history, biography, humanities, language, writing, books about books
The Wife Between Us Greer Hendricks 416 07/07/19 – 07/14/19 (8 days) 4 stars fiction, thriller, mystery, suspense
The Stranger Albert Camus 123 07/16/19 – 07/18/19 (3 days) 5 stars fiction, classics, philosophy, French culture, literature
The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky 222 07/19/19 – 07/23/19 (5 days) 5 stars fiction, young adult, contemporary
One Plus One Jojo Moyes 369 07/25/19 – 08/02/19 (9 days) 4 stars fiction, contemporary, romance, womens fiction, adult
Winter in Paradise Elin Hilderbrand 320 08/10/19 – 08/11/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction, mystery
Summer Sisters Judy Blume 416 08/24/19 – 08/25/19 (2 days) 4 stars fiction, womens fiction, young adult, romance
The Secrets Mothers Keep Jacquie Underdown 266 09/02/19 – 09/04/19 (3 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction
Never Be The Same Silk White 210 09/08/19 – 09/08/19 (1 days) 4 stars fiction, mystery, African American
Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family Garrard Conley 340 09/10/19 – 09/19/19 (10 days) 5 stars nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
The Wonder of All Things Jason Mott 400 09/20/19 – 09/21/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, fantasy, paranormal, contemporary
Two Boys Kissing David Levithan 200 09/23/19 – 09/23/19 (1 days) 5 stars fiction, young adult, romance, contemporary, LGBT, queer
Abarat Clive Barker 393 09/24/19 – 10/09/19 (16 days) 3 stars fiction, young adult, fantasy, horror
Marriage Can Be Murder Emma Jameson 282 10/10/19 – 10/15/19 (6 days) 3 stars fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Behind Every Great Man: Women in the Shadows of History’s Alpha Males Marlene Wagman-Geller 369 10/17/19 – 10/23/19 (7 days) 4 stars nonfiction, women, history, feminism, short stories
Sentence of Marriage Shayne Parkinson 415 10/10/19 – 10/29/19 (20 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, romance
What Happens in Paradise Elin Hilderbrand 432 10/30/19 – 11/03/19 (5 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction
The End of Your Life Book Club Will Schwalbe 336 11/04/19 – 11/09/19 (6 days) 5 stars nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, writing, books about books
Where the Crawdads Sing Delia Owens 384 12/19/19 – 12/20/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Through Streets Narrow and Broad Gemma Jackson 464 12/27/19 – 12/30/19 (4 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, Irish culture

The 29 books I read in 2019—details

Book cover Book: Two Henrys Author: Kevin Allison
Pages: 35 Duration: 01/04/19 – 01/06/19 (3 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: nonfiction, short stories, LGBT, queer
Description:
Coming out can be awkward enough—let alone coming out in the 1970s, in Ohio, as a Catholic schoolboy. In this fearless and funny true story, the host and founder of the hit podcast RISK! shares all. From first grade through junior high, twelve-year-old Kevin and his best friend, Ben, were inseparable. But when Kevin divulged his biggest secret, Ben froze him out. The pint-size cold war lasted two years—until they went head-to-head for student council president. Team Ben’s smear campaign began. The school took sides. And Kevin decided to run with it.
Thoughts:
Just a short, fun, little read. If you’re queer and have been in the closet or come out, you’re sure to relate to this short narrative. If you’re straight, you might gain some insight into why it’s such a big deal to the person, especially a kid, going through it all.

Book cover Book: 1Q84 Author: Haruki Murakami
Pages: 1318 Duration: 01/07/19 – 01/23/19 (17 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, fantasy, magical realism, Japanese culture, science fiction
Description:
The year is 1984 and the city is Tokyo. A young woman named Aomame follows a taxi driver’s enigmatic suggestion and begins to notice puzzling discrepancies in the world around her. She has entered, she realizes, a parallel existence, which she calls 1Q84 – Q is for “A world that bears a question.” A love story, a mystery, a fantasy, a novel of self-discovery, a dystopia to rival George Orwell is Haruki Murakami’s most ambitious undertaking yet: an instant best seller in his native Japan, and a tremendous feat of imagination from one of our most revered contemporary writers.
Thoughts:
This was a challenging read for me, not because of its length, but because it contains elements of—as enumerated in its genre list—fantasy, magical realism, and science fiction, none of which do I care for. However, it’s a compelling enough story that kept raising questions that I wanted to know the answers to, which kept me reading. And not unlike The Goldfinch, which I read last year, I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I finished reading its 1318 pages.

Book cover Book: A Spool of Blue Thread Author: Anne Tyler
Pages: 358 Duration: 01/28/19 – 02/10/19 (14 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, literary fiction
Description:
The Whitshanks are one of those families that radiate togetherness: an indefinable, enviable kind of specialness. But they are also like all families, in that the stories they tell themselves reveal only part of the picture. Abby and Red and their four grown children have accumulated not only tender moments, laughter, and celebrations, but also jealousies, disappointments, and carefully guarded secrets. from Red’s father and mother, newly-arrived in Baltimore in the 1920s, to Abby and Red’s grandchildren carrying the family legacy boisterously into the twenty-first century, here are four generations of Whitshanks, their lives unfolding in and around the sprawling, lovingly worn Baltimore house that has always been their anchor.
Thoughts:
Surprisingly, this was one of my least favorite books of the year. There just wasn’t anything remarkable that happened to the characters in this story. And although that’s probably representative of a lot of people’s lives, it just didn’t make for very interesting reading to me. One reviewer, who regularly gives Anne Tyler high marks, pretty well summed up my sense of it: “It recycles virtually every theme and major plot she has used in the past and does so in the most perfunctory manner imaginable. A disappointing performance by this talented author, who seems to be coasting on automatic pilot.”

Book cover Book: Nine Perfect Strangers Author: Liane Moriarty
Pages: 453 Duration: 02/09/19 – 02/14/19 (6 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, womens fiction
Description:
Nine people gather at a remote health resort. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to get a reboot on life, some are here for reasons they can’t even admit to themselves. Amidst all of the luxury and pampering, the mindfulness and meditation, they know these ten days might involve some real work. But none of them could imagine just how challenging the next ten days are going to be. It’s not long before every guest at Tranquillum House is asking exactly the same question.
Thoughts:
This was among my least favorite fiction books of the year. The premise was interesting enough, but it dragged at times, and it got quite preposterous at others.

Book cover Book: Becoming Author: Michelle Obama
Pages: 428 Duration: 02/24/19 – 04/28/19 (63 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, autobiography, memoir
Description:
In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her—from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world’s most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it—in her own words and on her own terms. Warm, wise, and revelatory, Becoming is the deeply personal reckoning of a woman of soul and substance who has steadily defied expectations—and whose story inspires us to do the same.
Thoughts:
This book made me ache for the days when class and civility inhabited The White House. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: The Last Romantics Author: Tara Conklin
Pages: 368 Duration: 02/15/19 – 05/21/19 (96 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary
Description:
A sweeping yet intimate epic about one American family, The Last Romantics is an unforgettable exploration of the ties that bind us together, the responsibilities we embrace and the duties we resent, and how we can lose – and sometimes rescue – the ones we love. A novel that pierces the heart and lingers in the mind, it is also a beautiful meditation on the power of stories – how they navigate us through difficult times, help us understand the past, and point the way toward our future
Thoughts:
This book immediately reminded me of the first line from Anna Karenina: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” It’s so interesting to me how siblings who grow up in the same family and household can turn out so differently and how so much dysfunction can take place in one family. Also, I love how this book starts at a funeral. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story Author: Jacob Tobia
Pages: 336 Duration: 06/09/19 – 06/19/19 (11 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
Description:
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story charts those decades, from Jacob’s Methodist childhood to the hallowed halls of Duke University and the portrait-laden parlors of the White House, taking you on a gender odyssey you won’t soon forget. With the snarky voice and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation, Jacob shatters the long-held notion that people are easily sortable into “men” and “women.” Sissy guarantees that you’ll never think about gender—both other people’s and your own—the same way again.
Thoughts:
The last serious book I read on gender was My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender by Riki Anne Wilchins’Read back in 2003. It, too, tried many of my misconceptions and disinformation about gender. I enjoyed reading this book much more than that one, though, because of Jacob’s impressive ability to share his humanity in a deep, yet relatable way that challenges one’s thinking about gender. And there definitely was a remarkable Aha! moment in it for me. I recommended this book for our Mostly Social Book Club, and here’s a 7-minute clip of Jacob with Trevor Noah on The Daily Show.

Book cover Book: The Murder Pit Author: Jeff Shelby
Pages: 326 Duration: 05/19/19 – 06/23/19 (36 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, mystery
Description:
Daisy Savage finally has everything she wants. A new husband. A bunch of kids. A charming old house. What she doesn’t want is a dead body. When a frozen pipe in the basement of her century-old home leads her and her husband downstairs into a newly discovered crawl space, they find a coal chute they didn’t know they had. And a corpse inside of it.
Thoughts:
I can’t really put my finger on why this book didn’t captivate me, but it didn’t. A reviewer, who really liked it, noted, “For me, the first 3 chapters, while charming, were a little slow. Not slow enough for me to put the book aside, but not as fastly paced as the rest of the story. It was right about chapter 4… right there at the end of it… that the novel really took off and never faltered. And I gotta confess… no, not to the murder… but to the fact that I had way too much fun flying through the pages!” I gotta confess that all of those ellipses in that review annoyed me, but with that said, I didn’t like it, but YMMV.

Book cover Book: Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde Author: Franny Moyle
Pages: 336 Duration: 06/08/17 – 06/26/19 (2 years, 19 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, history
Description:
In the spring of 1895 the life of Constance Wilde changed irrevocably. Up until the conviction of her husband, Oscar, for homosexual crimes, she had held a privileged position in society. Part of a gilded couple, she was a popular children’s author, a fashion icon, and a leading campaigner for women’s rights. A founding member of the magical society The Golden Dawn, her pioneering and questioning spirit encouraged her to sample some of the more controversial aspects of her time. Mrs. Oscar Wilde was a phenomenon in her own right.
Thoughts:
I wanted to—more like, felt like I should—like this book way more than I did. Obviously, I didn’t hate it, since I never abandoned it over the ample just-over 2 years it took me to read it. In the end, I think who I really wanted to read about was Oscar, not Constance, and the dalliances that led to his social demise didn’t happen until well into the second half of the book. She was also very much into fashion, about which I have little-to-no interest in. With all that said, I’m glad I finally finished it.

Book cover Book: The Professor & the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity & the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary Author: Simon Winchester
Pages: 288 Duration: 06/27/19 – 07/03/19 (7 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, history, biography, humanities, language, writing, books about books
Description:
A masterfully researched, and eloquently written, extraordinary tale of madness, genius, and the incredible obsessions of two remarkable men that led to the making of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED)—and literary history. The compilation of the OED, begun in 1857, was one of the most ambitious projects ever undertaken. As definitions were collected, the overseeing committee, led by Professor James Murray, discovered that one man, Dr. W. C. Minor, had submitted more than ten thousand. When the committee insisted on honoring him, a shocking truth came to light: Dr. Minor, an American Civil War veteran, was also an inmate at an asylum for the criminally insane.
Thoughts:
I, of course, knew what the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) was before I read this book, but I didn’t know the breadth and depth of it. Knowing what I now know about its origin and development, it’s quite inconceivable how much of it was done without the aid of computers. This was also my first Simon Winchester book, and it piqued my interest in other books of his. After I finished reading this one, Bob and I watched the movie based on this book.

Book cover Book: The Wife Between Us Authors: Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen
Pages: 416 Duration: 07/07/19 – 07/14/19 (8 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, thriller, mystery, suspense
Description:
When you read this book, you will make many assumptions. You will assume you are reading about a jealous ex-wife. You will assume she is obsessed with her replacement—a beautiful, younger woman who is about to marry the man they both love. You will assume you know the anatomy of this tangled love triangle. Assume nothing.
Thoughts:
I’m not a huge fan of psychological thrillers, but I do like the unreliable narrator literary device, which this book certainly employs. It did keep me guessing and wanting to know what the “truth” was.

Book cover Book: The Stranger Author: Albert Camus
Pages: 123 Duration: 07/16/19 – 07/18/19 (3 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, classics, philosophy, French culture, literature
Description:
Through the story of an ordinary man unwittingly drawn into a senseless murder on an Algerian beach, Camus explored what he termed “the nakedness of man faced with the absurd.” In January 1955, Camus wrote: I summarized The Stranger a long time ago, with a remark I admit was highly paradoxical: “In our society any man who does not weep at his mother’s funeral runs the risk of being sentenced to death.” I only meant that the hero of my book is condemned because he does not play the game.
Thoughts:
In spite of always being in “advanced placement” English classes (of course, I was) and the tremendous amount of reading I’ve done in my life, I’d never read this novella. I loved this existential inquiry into the cost of not being willing to do what society expects.

Book cover Book: The Perks of Being a Wallflower Author: Stephen Chbosky
Pages: 222 Duration: 07/19/19 – 07/23/19 (5 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, contemporary
Description:
The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a story about what it’s like to travel that strange course through the uncharted territory of high school. The world of first dates, family dramas, and new friends. Of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of those wild and poignant roller-coaster days known as growing up.
Thoughts:
I enjoy the epistolary novel device of books like this, and I liked that there was a main character who is gay. There is a certain underlying darkness to this story, which also appealed to me. After I finished reading it, Bob and I watched the movie based on this book.

Book cover Book: One Plus One Author: Jojo Moyes
Pages: 369 Duration: 07/25/19 – 08/02/19 (9 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, romance, womens fiction, adult
Description:
Suppose your life sucks. A lot. Your husband has done a vanishing act, your teenage stepson is being bullied and your math whiz daughter has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you can’t afford to pay for. That’s Jess’s life in a nutshell—until an unexpected knight-in-shining-armor offers to rescue them. Only Jess’s knight turns out to be Geeky Ed, the obnoxious tech millionaire whose vacation home she happens to clean. But Ed has big problems of his own, and driving the dysfunctional family to the Math Olympiad feels like his first unselfish act in ages… maybe ever.
Thoughts:
I first read this author, JoJo Moyes, last year with the first book of her trilogy: Me Before You, After You, and Still Me. I enjoyed the writing and storytelling so much in the first one that I went on to read the second two in the series. One Plus One landed on our Mostly Social Book Club agenda for this year, and unfortunately, I found it a bit tedious and frustrating, but I did finish it, because it was a book club book. With that said, the other members of the book club enjoyed it more than I did.

Book cover Book: Winter in Paradise Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Pages: 320 Duration: 08/10/19 – 08/11/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction, mystery
Description:
Irene Steele’s idyllic life—house, husband, family—is shattered when she is woken up by a late-night phone call. Her beloved husband has been found dead, but before Irene can process this tragic news, she must confront the perplexing details of her husband’s death. He was found on St. John island, a tropical paradise far removed from their suburban life. Leaving the cold winter behind, Irene flies down to the beautiful Caribbean beaches of St. John only to make another shocking discovery: her husband had a secret second family. As Irene investigates the mysterious circumstances of her husband’s death, she is plunged into a web of intrigue and deceit belied by the pristine white-sand beaches of St. John’s.
Thoughts:
I devoured this book, my first by author Elin Hilderbrand even though she’s written 30 books. I didn’t know when I started that it was the first in a series of 3 books of which the second two were not yet available. A few months after I finished this one, the second one, What Happens in Paradise, came out and it’s further down my list. This was billed as “an easy, summer read,” and it certainly lived up to its claim. I essentially read it in a day-and-a-half, and it kept me intrigued throughout as well as looking forward to the second book in the series to get some answers. I recommended we read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Summer Sisters Author: Judy Blume
Pages: 416 Duration: 08/24/19 – 08/25/19 (2 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction, young adult, romance
Description:
In the summer of 1977, Victoria Leonard’s world changes forever when Caitlin Somers chooses her as a friend. Dazzling, reckless Caitlin welcomes Vix into the heart of her sprawling, eccentric family, opening doors to a world of unimaginable privilege, sweeping her away to vacations on Martha’s Vineyard, an enchanting place where the two friends become “summer sisters.” Now, years later, Vix is working in New York City. Caitlin is getting married on the Vineyard. And the early magic of their long, complicated friendship has faded. But Caitlin begs Vix to come to her wedding, to be her maid of honor. And Vix knows that she will go—because she wants to understand what happened during that last shattering summer. And, after all these years, she needs to know why her best friend—her summer sister—still has the power to break her heart.
Thoughts:
Although she’s touted as “a writer who has won the hearts and minds of readers of all generations,” I abandoned the first book of hers that I read shortly before trying this one—In the Unlikely Event. There were too many characters that I couldn’t keep track of and it wasn’t bringing me joy. This book brought me enough joy to keep reading it, and I did come to understand the fuss about Judy Blume’s writing. I’m glad I read it.

Book cover Book: The Secrets Mothers Keep Author: Jacquie Underdown
Pages: 266 Duration: 09/02/19 – 09/04/19 (3 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction
Description:
One Family. Three generations. A common goal to unite them. A lifetime of secrets to divide them. But could uncovering the truth be the only way that this family can finally heal? Three generations of women find their way back home to Tasmania. They embark on a project together to renovate the family manor and convert it into a bed and breakfast. With the family now under the one roof, and the past tampered with, the foundations of this secret are shaken.
Thoughts:
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and in fact had a hard time naming Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story over this one as my favorite book of the year. I just thought it did a great job of slowly unfolding enormous family secrets as the story progressed and enjoyed the portrayal of the characters’ responses to them.

Book cover Book: Never Be The Same Author: Silk White
Pages: 210 Duration: 09/08/19 – 09/08/19 (1 days
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, mystery, African American
Description:
Meet Paige, a famous actress whose career is on the come up. Things couldn’t be better, until her front door is kicked in by the police. After being forced to snitch on her fiance or go to jail, Paige makes a decision that is sure to change her life forever. Meanwhile, Paige’s fiance Jeezy has problems of his own. The kind of problems that can get him killed or placed in jail for the rest of his life. With his back to the wall and a gun in his hand the only way out is for him to shoot his way out. When it’s all said and done both of their lives will never be the same. Join Silk White as he once again takes you on a ride that you won’t soon forget. Once readers put this book down they to will never be the same.
Thoughts:
The story line of this book is what kept me reading it, because the writing was not easy for me to read. Also, I wanted to read (at least) one book classified in the African American genre.

Book cover Book: Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family Author: Garrard Conley
Pages: 340 Duration: 09/10/19 – 09/19/19 (10 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
Description:
The son of a Baptist pastor and deeply embedded in church life in small town Arkansas, as a young man Garrard Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality. When Garrard was a 19-year-old college student, he was outed to his parents, and was forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church-supported conversion therapy program that promised to “cure” him of homosexuality; or risk losing family, friends, and the God he had prayed to every day of his life. By confronting his buried past and the burden of a life lived in shadow, Garrard traces the complex relationships among family, faith, and community. At times heart-breaking, at times triumphant, this memoir is a testament to love that survives despite all odds.
Thoughts:
This book surprised me in that I thought I was going to be angry the whole time reading it, but wasn’t. From all that I heard about it, which was about the movie, and with the subject of conversion therapy being a good part of it, well, I just thought it was going to enrage me. I have to think it was the voice of the narrator (the young boy that all this happened to) that kept me calm.

Book cover Book: The Wonder of All Things Author: Jason Mott
Pages: 400 Duration: 09/20/19 – 09/21/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, fantasy, paranormal, contemporary
Description:
On an ordinary day, at an air show like that in any small town across the country, a plane crashes into a crowd of spectators. After the dust clears, a thirteen-year-old girl named Ava is found huddled beneath a pocket of rubble with her best friend, Wash. He is injured and bleeding, and when Ava places her hands over him, his wounds disappear. Ava has an unusual gift: she can heal others of their physical ailments. Until the air show tragedy, her gift was a secret. Now the whole world knows, and suddenly people from all over the globe begin flocking to her small town, looking for healing and eager to catch a glimpse of The Miracle Child. But Ava’s unique ability comes at a great cost, and as she grows weaker with each healing, she soon finds herself having to decide just how much she’s willing to give up in order to save the ones she loves most.
Thoughts:
In general, I’m not a big fan of fantasy, but this book had just a touch of it with one character having paranormal powers. What I did like about it was that it raised questions about morality and explored the question of whether one has an obligation to do good for the others at the expense of oneself, if one has the ability to. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Two Boys Kissing Author: David Levithan
Pages: 200 Duration: 09/23/19 – 09/23/19 (1 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, romance, contemporary, LGBT, queer
Description:
David Levithan tells the based-on-true-events story of Harry and Craig, two 17-year-olds who are about to take part in a 32-hour marathon of kissing to set a new Guinness World Record—all of which is narrated by a Greek Chorus of the generation of gay men lost to AIDS. While the two increasingly dehydrated and sleep-deprived boys are locking lips, they become a focal point in the lives of other teen boys dealing with languishing long-term relationships, coming out, navigating gender identity, and falling deeper into the digital rabbit hole of gay hookup sites—all while the kissing former couple tries to figure out their own feelings for each other.
Thoughts:
I learned about this book through a friend’s Facebook posting about books that have been banned, which immediately made me interested in reading it. I really liked the writing device of a past generation of gay men who have died from AIDS being a sort of “Greek chorus” for what’s going on in the present in the book. There’s a 4.5-minute podcast about it being banned, if you’re interested.

Book cover Book: Abarat Author: Clive Barker
Pages: 393 Duration: 09/24/19 – 10/09/19 (16 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, fantasy, horror
Description:
Candy lives in Chickentown USA: the most boring place in the world, her heart bursting for some clue as to what her future may hold. She is soon to find out: swept out of our world by a giant wave, she finds herself in another place entirely… The Abarat is a vast archipelago where every island is a different hour of the day, from the sunlit wonders of Three in the Afternoon, where dragons roam, to the dark terrors of the island of Midnight, ruled by Christopher Carrion. Candy has a place in this extraordinary world: she has been brought here to help save the Abarat from the dark forces that are stirring at its heart. Forces older than time itself, and more evil than anything Candy has ever encountered.
Thoughts:
I am not a fan of science fiction or fantasy, and I only learned of this book seeing it posted on a Friend’s Facebook timeline saying that they were reading it. And the only thing that intrigued me about the plot synopsis was the description of the Abarat as “a vast archipelago where every island is a different hour of the day.” As was no surprise, it was one of my least favorite books of the year, but I obviously didn’t hate it, since I finished it.

Book cover Book: Marriage Can Be Murder Author: Emma Jameson
Pages: 282 Duration: 10/10/19 – 10/15/19 (6 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Description:
On the eve of World War II, Dr. Benjamin Bones is at war with himself. While most young men are being sent away to fight the Germans, Ben is chosen to serve on English soil. Ordered to move to wild, beautiful Cornwall, he must trade his posh London office and stylish city life for the tiny village of Birdswing, population 1,221 souls. But leaving his home and shelving his career ambitions aren’t the only sacrifices facing Ben. His unfaithful wife, Penny, is accompanying him to Cornwall in a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. But moments after their arrival, Penny is run down in the street, and Ben is almost fatally injured. And while the villagers assume Penny’s death to be an accident, Ben quickly deduces it was murder. While adapting to life during Britain’s “War at Home,” a time of ration books, victory gardens, bomb shelters, and the Blackout, Ben sets about solving the mystery of Penny’s murder.
Thoughts:
This book was described as a “cozy mystery.” I’m not sure what makes a mystery cozy, but it’s not an adjective I personally would have associated with this book. I liked the Lady Juliet Linton character a lot. The “Fenton House ghost,” not so much. I gave it a 4, because the writing was pretty good, but the story was just meh to me.

Book cover Book: Behind Every Great Man: Women in the Shadows of History’s Alpha Males Author: Marlene Wagman-Geller
Pages: 369 Duration: 10/17/19 – 10/23/19 (7 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: nonfiction, women, history, feminism, short stories
Description:
Throughout history, men have gotten most of the good ink. Often overlooked are the extraordinary wives, mistresses, and companions who were every bit as instrumental in shaping their destinies. Discover Emma Wedgewood (Mrs. Charles Darwin), Alma Reveille (Mrs. Alfred Hitchcock), and 26 more women who stood behind their alpha males, for better or worse, and helped steer the course of history.
Thoughts:
I really thought I was going to like this book way more than I did. I think there were too many people chosen to write about, and after a while they all ran together to me. When I tried to remember back at any point, I had a hard time remembering (if I could at all) which woman went with which man and what her contribution is. I know that’s sad, but that’s how it went down with me. One other thing that bugged me was, that although I was happy that a Lesbian couple was included, I can’t resolve that with the very title of the book. But, that’s just me.

Book cover Book: Sentence of Marriage Author: Shayne Parkinson
Pages: 415 Duration: 10/10/19 – 10/29/19 (20 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, romance
Description:
In nineteenth century New Zealand, there are few choices for a farm girl like Amy. Her life seems mapped out for her by the time she is twelve. Amy dreams of an exciting life in the world beyond her narrow boundaries. But it is the two people who come to the farm from outside the valley who change her life forever, and Amy learns the high cost of making the wrong choice.
Thoughts:
I really got into this book, partly because the writing that described the tension between the daughter and her father’s new girlfriend was so well done. I like it when an author can really make you hate a character coming by it honestly. It wasn’t until I was done that I learned this was book #1 of a 4-part series. I do plan on reading at least part #2—after which I decide on going on to the others.

Book cover Book: What Happens in Paradise Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Pages: 432 Duration: 10/30/19 – 11/03/19 (5 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction
Description:
A year ago, Irene Steele had the shock of her life: her loving husband, father to their grown sons and successful businessman, was killed in a helicopter crash. But that wasn’t Irene’s only shattering news: he’d also been leading a double life on the island of St. John, where another woman loved him, too. Now Irene and her sons are back on St. John, determined to learn the truth about the mysterious life — and death — of a man they thought they knew. Along the way, they’re about to learn some surprising truths about their own lives, and their futures.
Thoughts:
This is the sequel to Winter in Paradise, which I read back in August. It read just as quickly as the first one, answered a few of the questions I had about Russell & Rosie’s relationship and Russell’s business goings-on, but in general, it spent too much time on the two sons and their romantic shenanigans back on St. John. With all that said, I will read the third—and final—book once it becomes available.

Book cover Book: The End of Your Life Book Club Author: Will Schwalbe
Pages: 336 Duration: 11/04/19 – 11/09/19 (6 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, writing, books about books
Description:
The inspiring story of a son and his dying mother, who form a “book club” that brings them together as her life comes to a close. Mary Anne Schwalbe is waiting for her chemotherapy treatments when Will casually asks her what she’s reading. The conversation they have grows into tradition: soon they are reading the same books so they can have something to talk about in the hospital waiting room. The ones they choose range from classic to popular, from fantastic to spiritual, and we hear their passion for reading and their love for each other in their intimate and searching discussions. A profoundly moving testament to the power of love between a child and parent, and the power of reading in our lives.
Thoughts:
I was amazed at the sheer volume of books this mother and son read in their lives, and especially in the final 2 years of the mother’s life. At one point, I thought I might try to make a list of them all when, but when I got to the end of the story, there was an appendix with that already done!

Book cover Book: Where the Crawdads Sing Author: Delia Owens/strong>
Pages: 384 Duration: 12/19/19 – 12/20/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Description:
For years, rumors of the “Marsh Girl” have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. But Kya is not what they say. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand. Then the time comes when she yearns to be touched and loved. When two young men from town become intrigued by her wild beauty, Kya opens herself to a new life–until the unthinkable happens.
Thoughts:
Several people told me told me that they thought the story was just okay in this book, but that the writing was beautiful. But, I liked both the story and the writing.

Book cover Book: Through Streets Broad and Narrow Author: Gemma Jackson
Pages: 464 Duration: 12/27/19 – 12/30/19 (4 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, Irish culture
Description:
On New Year’s Day 1925 Ivy Rose Murphy awakes to find her world changed forever. Her irresponsible Da is dead. She is grief-stricken and alone – but for the first time in her life free to please herself. After her mother deserted the family, Ivy became the sole provider for her Da and three brothers. Pushing a pram around the well-to-do areas of Dublin every day, she begged for the discards of the wealthy which she then turned into items she could sell around Dublin’s markets. As she visits the morgue to pay her respects to her Da, a chance meeting introduces Ivy to a new world of money and privilege, her mother’s world. Ivy is suddenly a woman on a mission to improve herself and her lot in life.
Thoughts:
This is another one of those books that captivated me right from the beginning and which I plowed through. It also makes the third series (1st of 4 books) in this “Ivy Rose” series), I read this year, joining Elin Hilderbrand’s “Paradise” series (3 books) and Shayne Parkinson’s “Promises to Keep” series (4 books)
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Attack of the 50-ft Woman…

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In this, our sixth movie from the collection of various and sundry movie posters Bob has framed and hanging around our house, I found myself prepared for the worst. The kind of movie that I imagine going with a poster like this is not one that compels me. In retrospect, I didn’t find it that bad, which I guess is why it’s often characterized as one of those movies that’s “so bad it’s good.”

Random thoughts I had during this movie:

  • At about 45 minutes into the 65-minute film: “I’m concerned that we still haven’t seen the film’s eponymous protagonist.”
  • Once the giants appear: “Why are they sometimes opaque and sometimes translucent?”

    Giant_man
    Giant_woman
  • At the first glimpses of the giant woman, which only shows her right hand: “They sure are getting their money’s worth out of that huge paper mâché hand prop.”

    Nancy's hand
  • At the first appearance of the alien space craft: “Why are they calling it a satellite instead of a space ship or UFO?” (There is a short discussion about this in one of the FAQs on the IMDB page, if you’re interested in a possible explanation.)

In the end, the 2 things that bothered me the most were:

  • In the movie, they refer to the woman as a “30-foot giant,” but the very name of the movie is “Attack of the 50-ft. Woman.”
  • The poster for this movie is a scene that never even remotely appears in this movie. I mean the setting is essentially a rural one-stoplight town. The only infrastructure the 30-foot woman hovers over is the town hotel and bar shown in the bottom right quadrant of the collage picture below.

    Poster vs. reality

But as it turns out, there was so much more to be bothered by that I didn’t even notice. Here are some from the goofs page of the IMDB entry for this film:

  • When Nancy is normal-sized, she is a brunette with a short, styled hairdo. But when she’s super-sized, she’s suddenly a blonde with long curly hair.
  • Although the alien is a giant, when the sheriff and Jess go into the “satellite” (the alien spacecraft), the passageways and interiors are for human-sized inhabitants.
  • Clothes are sticking out of Harry’s suitcase as he hurriedly brings it out of the bedroom. In the next shot, the suitcase appears neatly packed. (I actually noticed this one.)
  • When Nancy is lying on the ground dead, one of her eyelids moves. (I sure wish I’d noticed that!)
  • About 40 minutes in, Harry is filling a large (~30 CC) syringe in an attempt to kill his wife, but after he and the nurse are shocked to see she has become a giant, he is only holding a small (~ 1 CC) syringe. (And Bob pointed out that nobody wipes the needle with alcohol before they use it.)
  • How Allison Hayes can be fifty feet tall and yet remain in a standard size room is never explained. (In her defense, she was lying down, so maybe the room was 60-feet long.)
  • The giant picks up Nancy’s 1958 Plymouth station wagon, throws it to the ground and, mysteriously, the Plymouth station wagon turns into a 1949 Chevrolet Station Wagon. Also, when the giant alien picks up the Plymouth wagon, the scene behind it, the still frame cut from the movie ad, is moved about to simulate the car’s movement. The slow motion action reveals the 1949 Chevrolet Styleline Deluxe Woody Wagon.

In the end, I’m glad I watched this to have an idea what’s behind the poster that I see practically every day in our living room.

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An unidentified man…

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Last night I listened to a podcast episode of Snap Judgment, called Counted: An Oakland Story. The episode was about how Oakland’s homicide rate has declined from a high point of 140 one year to 77 in 2017.

“And about those 77, we wanted to let you know about these artists, singers, students, activists, teachers—they are the Oakland family. They are what make beautiful Oakland, edgy Oakland, woke Oakland. Every loss, makes this place less special. So we’re going to do something a little different in this episode. We’re going to tell you who some of these people were.”

There’s a website associated with the project, and on its “In memory of” page each victim is featured—all with their date of death, some with sketches of them, and most with their names included. But 7 of them—with a sketch of either a rose or a candle in the place of their face—say, “Unidentified man.”

This morning I was still thinking about those unidentified men. How does that happen? And I wrote this short contemplation.

The unidentified man

I’m one of 7. I died in Oakland in 2017 on:

  1. February 15 or
  2. May 30 or
  3. September 28 or
  4. October 21 or
  5. November 23 or
  6. December 12 or
  7. December 16.

Imagine for a minute that you—yes you—are walking down the street, late tonight on your way home, and you get killed. Can you think of 3 people who could identify you? How about 5? 10?

There are so many ways to identify me, but they had no luck. No luck for me that my fingerprints or DNA weren’t in “the database.” And I thought that was a good thing.

I didn’t have good teeth. That wasn’t the reason there were no dental records to match. There were no dentists in my life.

I know why my family isn’t looking for me. There was no father, or mother, in my life. They had their own lives to live. And I was an inconvenience in them.

And don’t think nobody on the street knew me. I did know one other member of this club, a club none of us wanted to join. And that person definitely knew me. But someone got revenge on him for someone he killed.

My favorite member of the club? It has to be Jason. They said about him: “He actually didn’t live on the streets, but inside them. Inside the hollow cement pillars that hold up that off-ramp, where he made a room for himself—he even wired cable and internet inside with a projector, a couch, and a mini-fridge.” That cat was hooked up. I was not so resourceful.

But resources can’t help me now. At least I count. I count among the 77 of 2017—even as I lie in an unguarded tomb, unknown.

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Riff on a connection mnemonic…

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Like I’m sure a lot of people did last night, I thought about the old adage, “Spring forward, fall back.” But probably unlike a lot of people, this morning I contemplated mnemonics—those memory aids we employ for those things we do either so infrequently or that aren’t so meaningful that they’re hard to remember. A quick search on Wikipedia reveals these 9 types of mnemonics:

1. Music mnemonics: Songs and jingles can be used as a mnemonic. A common example is how children remember the alphabet by singing the ABC’s.

2. Name mnemonics (acronym): The first letter of each word is combined into a new word. For example: VIBGYOR (or ROY G BIV) for the colors of the rainbow or HOMES for the Great Lakes.

3. Expression or word mnemonics: The first letter of each word is combined to form a phrase or sentence — e.g. “Richard of York gave battle in vain” for the colors of the rainbow.

4. Model mnemonics: Some type of representation is constructed to help with understanding and recalling important information.

5. Ode mnemonics: The information is placed into a poem or doggerel, — e.g. ‘Note socer, gener, liberi, and Liber god of revelry, like puer these retain the ‘e (most Latin nouns of the second declension ending in -er drop the -e in all of the oblique cases except the vocative, these are the exceptions).

6. Note organization mnemonics: The way textbook and lecture notes are organized (e.g., notecards, outlines) can inhibit learning and recall or promote it.

7. Image mnemonics: The information is constructed into a picture — e.g. the German weak declension can be remembered as five ‘-e’s’, looking rather like the state of Oklahoma in America, in a sea of ‘-en’s’.

8. Connection mnemonics: New knowledge is connected to knowledge already known.

9. Spelling mnemonics: An example is “i before e except after c” or “when sounding like a in neighbor and weigh.”

I decided that “spring forward, fall back” is a connection mnemonic, and to that end I wrote this piece, which I call “Riff on a Connection Mnemonic,” because there just aren’t enough riffs on connection mnemonics, or any other kind of mnemonic, really.

A CONNECTION MNEMONIC

Spring forward. Going forward. Fast forward. Forward, March.

Spring forward.
Spring has sprung.
Sprung a leak.
Take a leak.
Take a break.
Break a leg.
Get a leg up on it.
Have a leg to stand on.

Going forward.
Going strong.
Strong women.
Women of color.
Color my world.
World peace.
Peace and quiet.
Quietly changing the world.

Fast forward.
Fast as lightning.
Lightning bugs.
The light of a thousand stars.
Star light, star bright.
Bright lights, big city.
City by the sea.
See the light at the end of the tunnel.

Forward, March.
Forward thinking.
Thinking too much.
Too much to handle.
Handle the hands on your clock.
Clean someone’s clock.
Clean up your act.
It’s a balancing act.

Spring forward. Going forward. Fast forward. Forward, March.

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My 60th birthday

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~Friday, 10/13/17~

Here are 4 highlights of my life that stand out over these last 10 years. I just couldn’t narrow it down to 3—too much has happened this decade.

50 – 59 years old (2007 – 2016)

CELEBRATING TWO MILESTONE BIRTHDAYS. For my 50th birthday, I went to 3 places in Australia that were listed in the book, “1000 Places to See Before You Die.” One was in the Blue Mountains just outside of Sydney, one was Seven Spirit Bay on a private island in the outback that you had to be taken to by private plane, and the third was Heron Island on the Great Barrier Reef. For my 55th birthday, I saw Barbra Streisand in concert in Brooklyn. It’s something I’d wanted to do all my life and had been willing to spend up to $1000 for a ticket. You can just imagine my delight when I scored a seat for $399.

RETIRING (THE FIRST TIME). On my October 13, 2014, I gave myself the birthday gift of a lifetime—I retired. My boss and my team were so gracious and supportive of my decision and they gave me a wonderful send-off, complete with limericks, haiku, and love. I enjoyed being retired for one year and three months, and then as it so often will, life happened. Eventually, I’d have the second biggest coming out in my life, coming out of retirement in February of 2016. You can read why if you’re interested.

LOSING A PARENT. On Tuesday, September 8, 2015, I had the hardest conversation in my life with my dad about entering him into hospice. He died three days later.

LEGALLY MARRYING A PHENOMENAL HUMAN BEING WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE A MAN. On June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in favor of same-sex marriage and that night, I asked Robert Anthony McVeigh to marry me, which he did on November 28th. With Bob’s family of 14 siblings, I picked up a cool 108 in-laws in one day, while he inherited a grand total of 8. We had an unbelievable November weather day and married in our backyard with heartwarming support from friends and family who traveled near and far to be there, including my ex-wife.

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 10 – 19 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 40 – 49 years old

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The penultimate day leading up to my birthday

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~Thursday, 10/12/17~

As I countdown to my 60th birthday tomorrow, here are 3 highlights of my life that stand out for these years.

40 – 49 years old (1997 – 2006)

CRUISING THE GREEK ISLES. In 1999, I toured the Greek Isles on the now-defunct Renaissance Cruise Lines. Our itinerary consisted of two days in Athens, port calls in Santorini, Rhodes, Kusadasi, and one day at sea cruising The Dardenelles. It ended with two days in Istanbul.

A SURPRISE PARTY FOR MOM AND DAD’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY. In September of 2003, my sister and I organized a surprise party in Orlando for my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. We had invited several of their brothers and sisters to join us there, offering to pick up their 3-day, 2-night hotel tabs and dinner the actual anniversary night. We hadn’t told anyone that we were eating at Emeril’s Orlando (location now closed, but he still has ones in New Orleans; Miramar Beach, Fla; and Las Vegas), and since some of them came to the event from Fall River, MA, and my parents were born and grew up in that city, and that’s where Emeril is from, and we’re all Portuguese… well you can imagine how excited everyone was when we arrived there. I picked up the tab, which to this day remains the most I’ve ever paid for a dinner at $1503.00, which included the $364 tip. Worth every penny. Read about the details, including the exquisite customer service.

CRUISING ALASKA WITH FAMILY. In 2005, I went on an Alaskan cruise with my sister, my parents, my aunt and uncle and their daughter, and my aunt’s sister and her husband. The itinerary included: one day cruising the Inside Passage, a Ketchikan port call, a Juneau port call, a Skagway port call, a Wrangell port call, and a final day at sea.

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 10 – 19 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 50 – 59 years old

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The antepenultimate day leading up to my birthday

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~Wednesday, 10/11/17~

As I countdown to my 60th birthday on Friday, here are 3 highlights of my life that stand out for these years.

Note: The coincidence is not lost on me of this post falling on National Coming Out Day.

30 – 39 years old (1987 – 1996)

TOUR OF EUROPE WITH OUR PARENTS. In 1987, my wife and I treated both sets of our parents to a 13-city bus tour of Europe with stops in London, England; Paris, France; Italy (The Italian Lakes, Rome, Ostia, Florence, Venice, and Verona); Innsbruck, Austria; Germany (Munich, Heidelberg, and a Rhine River Cruise); and Amsterdam, Holland. It was challenging at times, but so worth it as my mother still gets a charge out of saying, when someone mentions one of those European cities, “Oh, I’ve been there.” As I write this, it occurs to me that that was 30 years ago this year, and my parents were 5 years younger than I’ll be on Friday.

QUITTING IBM AND WORKING ON MY NOVEL. In 1993, IBM offered the first “package,” in which they paid employees to leave the company. Since my wife worked there, too, and we were DINKs (double income, no kids) making a ton of money, I applied for it and was accepted, taking a $30,000 payout to do what I wanted to do anyway—leave. For the next year, I worked on a novel, got as far as chapter 9, and then couldn’t figure out a believable way to get my protagonist pregnant. Shortly after that I came out.

COMING OUT. One day in 1994, on my way home from IBM to our quarter-of-a-million house, in our BMW, I wondered, “Is there any way I could drive this ‘ultimate performance machine’ into that roadside ravine in such a way that I could be sure I wouldn’t have to live with an ‘intending to die’ for the rest of my life?” That’s when I knew it was time to start living my authentic life here. My beautiful, loving, and incredibly generous wife’s response to my coming out? “I’m so sorry that we live in a society where you’ve felt like you couldn’t be who you really are your entire life.” As we were packing to sell the house we’d custom built, we glanced at each other from the rooms on opposite sides of the upstairs shared bathroom while Whitney sang, “I Will Always Love You.” I can still tear up when I hear that song today, especially the lines, “Bittersweet memories – That is all I’m taking with me. So good-bye. Please don’t cry: We both know I’m not what you, you need…”

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 10 – 19 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 40 – 49 years old | 50 – 59 years old

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60th birthday trip day 6: Hyannis morning, home in the evening

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​~Wednesday, 10/11/17~ I got up at 8 o’clock. I had breakfast across the street at The Coffee Table Café, having a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel and a cup of coffee.

Back at my room, I wrote out a couple of postcards and worked on my blog entry about the three highlights of my 30 – 39 years decade, arguably the most significant decade of my life until this past one, the 50 – 59 years decade. The three 30 – 39 years highlights were: 1) touring Europe with our parents, 2) quitting IBM and working on my novel, and 3) coming out.

I had asked for a noon, instead of 11 o’clock, check out and did so right at noon.

LUNCH

On my walk to the free shuttle at The Steamship Authority to take me to the park-and-ride to catch the Plymouth & Brockton bus to Logan Airport, I passed a place called Spanky’s Clam Shack & Seaside Saloon.

I decided to go in and have lunch to avoid the over-priced food at Logan airport, and I opted for the clam chowder and two stuffed quahogs, both of which were delicious.

Menu description:

Cape Cod Clam Chowdah: House made, New England style. Cup $6.49 Bowl $7.99

Clam chowder

Menu description:

Stuffed Quahog: Cape Cod favorite, house-made quahog stuffed and served with lemon.
$5.99 for one, or two for $9.99

Stuffed quahogs start

Me eating quahogs

1/2 quahog left

Inside the restaurant was this saying:

Happy as a clam sign

which always makes me think of the origin of the idiom: “Happy as a clam at high tide.” Over the years, it has been abbreviated to just “Happy as a clam,” which really leaves you to wonder why a clam is associated with being happy.

BUS RIDE TO LOGAN AIRPORT

I walked the rest of the way to the Steamship Authority, caught the free shuttle to the Hyannis Transportation Center, and waited for the next trip to Logan to leave. It was about 20 minutes late, and there were a lot of people waiting to get on it.

We picked up a bunch of people at the four stops along the route. When we got to the final one, in Rockland, there were three people waiting who couldn’t get on because there was no more room.

Although the bus advertised:

Bus provides free wifi and outlets

the outlets weren’t working, so my phone battery was desperately low by the time we got to Logan.

STANDBY ATTEMPT AND RUNNING INTO BROOKE

My flight to Raleigh wasn’t until 8:55 PM, but I was hoping to catch the 5:05 flight. I did get on the standby list, and made it to the gate on time, but there was one guy ahead of me on the list, and he got the only seat that became available.

A colleague of mine, Brooke Beasley, was on the 5:05 flight, and we chatted until she boarded. A guy next to us saw my Red Hat t-shirt on and struck up a conversation with his. He worked for Microsoft and was familiar with our Red Hat® Enterprise Linux® on Microsoft Azure and other Red Hat and Microsoft partnership products.

Since I had four hours to kill, I had some dinner, and then worked on my blog entries for yesterday and today.

THE FLIGHT

I was in seat 1A again, and the guy in 1C, seeing my shirt, asked me if I worked for Red Hat.

“I do,” I said.

“I just had drinks last night with my friend who works for Red Hat,” he said.

“Cool,” I said, “But I’m not traveling on business; I’m on a vacation trip here. I’ve just been on Nantucket for two days, Martha’s Vineyard for two days, and spent one day in Hyannis. I’m celebrating my 60th birthday, which is on Friday.”

The guy sitting in 1B, being talked across, took a quick glance at me, and then another hard look.

“Yes, this is what 60 looks like, handsome, and your day will come,” I thought.

My trip ended fortuitously with my two bags waiting for me when I landed, since although I hadn’t made the 5:05 flight they had.

And then, the best part of all, Bob picked me up.

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60th birthday trip day 5: Martha’s Vineyard morning, Hyannis evening

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~Tuesday, October 10, 2017~ I woke up before my alarm, and when I looked out the window I saw that the sun was about to rise. I set my phone camera to time-lapse mode and recorded it for posterity. What it looked like as it started:

Balcony sunrise still

Another sunrise shot

BREAKFAST

I waffled about where to go for breakfast (but didn’t have waffles)—between going back to the bagel place or the diner. Murdick’s won out. Today I chose a cinnamon and raisin bagel with some garden veggie cream cheese. Once again, the bagel was incredibly soft and delicious.

I took a seat at the counter that faced outside, and after a while a truck pulled up with a classic Portuguese name in the name of its business.

Medeiros Appliance

RETRIEVING MY CREDIT CARD

When I went to pay for my breakfast, I noticed that I was missing my credit card, so I walked back to where I had dinner last:

The Seafood Shanty

The hostess told me the bartender on the second floor would have any card left there last night, and I was greatly relieved when he found mine in his pile. I had to wait a minute for him to finish making two Bloody Marys he was in the midst of when I walked up, and I found myself drooling when he added the stalk of celery and two huge shrimps—cocktail style.

Back at The Harborside Inn, I captured the doors of two of the buildings that make up the inn, one of which is the one I’m staying in, The Ripley House.

The Chappaquiddick House

The Ripley House

ROAMING THE HARBORSIDE INN PROPERTY

I took some pictures of the harbor in the mid-morning sun and then walked around the conglomeration of buildings that make up The Harborside Inn and took some more:

Looking left from my balcony
Looking left from my balcony

Looking straight out from my balcony
Straight out from my balcony

Looking right from my balcony
Looking to the right off my balcony

My balcony
My balcony looking in

Looking to the left below
Looking to the left below

Looking straight out below
Looking straight out below

Looking to the right below
Looking to the right below

Hall door to my room
Room 417 in The Riply House

Stairway to my room
Stairwell to my room

Poolside grills
Poolside grills

The Ripley House (my room is the top, middle one)
The Ripley House

LUNCH AT THE DINER REDUX

On the way to lunch I stopped at Edgartown Books again to pick up a card for the mother of a friend of mine who has asked all of her friends to send cards to her mother for her 87th birthday on October 16. I passed this fabulous item on the way to the card section:

What would Jesus wear

I returned to the diner determined to have something other than seafood for lunch. I settled on the great American hamburger and fries and topped it all off with a coffee-flavored milkshake.

Hamburger and fries

Coffee-flavored milkshake

MAKING MY WAY BACK TO THE FERRY

While out walking around yesterday, I found the Edgartown Visitor Center, which is where the city bus picks up, and I found out that I needed to catch the #13 to Oak Bluffs, it came pretty much every hour, and the fare would be $2.50.

So, today, I knew right and where to go. The bus was a little late, but I was catching one an hour ahead of the one I probably could have made it in time on, for this very reason.

Back at the ferry, there was a huge tour group (at least 100, if not 150, people) waiting for the same ferry I was getting again. I listened to several of them having conversations, and in that short amount of time, I’d picked out a few people who would be getting on my nerves if I were traveling with them.

I made this facebook posting about one of them:

PSA: If you fancy yourself a talented whistler, and you do it all the time in public, I’m going to tell you what your friends won’t: It’s annoying as hell.

I did this same thing—being judgmental about people in a group tour—back in Nantucket at The Nantucket Inn. Ironically, I chose that hotel, and The Harborside Inn that I stayed at here on Martha’s Vineyard, because they were the accommodations used for a Road Scholar trip that I’d consider taking before deciding to book this trip myself.

I’m happy to say that this ferry ride was completely calm, I didn’t even think about being on a boat most of the way, and it was only an hour long.

THE HYANNIS HARBOR HOTEL

When the ferry started slowing down indicating we were close to port, I checked how far it was to walk to my hotel, because I knew it was close by, and I laughed out loud to myself thinking, “If only I could walk on water.”

Google maps walk from ferry to hotel

The Hyannis Harbor Hotel was right across the street from the pier we arrived at, which was great. I got this cute little map when I checked in:

Hyannis town map

Once in my room, I had a few cocktails—I’m committed to not having to throw away any of the bourbon I bought last Friday when I arrived—and I wrote for a couple of hours.

I loved that they’d thought to provide extra outlets for us gadget-loving people in such a convenient way:

Clock outlets

DINNER

At around 7:30, after googling “Gay Hyannis,” I set out to have dinner at emBargo—where Tuesday night is ½-priced tapas night.

On my walk, I passed the local library, which I so would have stopped in if it were open. I love visiting libraries in the towns I vacation in.

Public Library

I also passed the JFK Museum, which I would have stopped in, too, if it were open or if I were going to be in Hyannis longer.

JFK Museum entrance

I arrived at my destination, and I liked the way the sign emphasized the word bar in the middle of it. Where I’d seen it advertised, it was written as “emBargo,” which didn’t really capture it.

emBARgo sign

The bartender explained to me that not all of the tapas on the extensive list were half-price—that the ones that had an asterisk by them were not. Those aside, the list was plenty long enough to easily choose two that I wanted to try:

Tapas Littlenecks menua

Tapas Littlenecks dish

Tapas noodles menu

Tapas noodles dish

I considered getting dessert there, but I neither wanted anything that would stuff me nor break the bank, so I decided to wait. I asked the waiter if it was going to get “any gayer than this” in here, which would mean “gay at all,” and he laughed saying there was a drag show at 11:30 and that I should stick around.

Seeing how it was only 10:00, I didn’t want to wait around that long, so I left. Once outside I walked past a convenience store and got the hankering for an ice cream sandwich, which met both of my criteria—wouldn’t make me stuffed or break the bank. It was perfect.

Walking back to my hotel, I felt my back pocket where my wallet was and panicked, because it wasn’t there. I thought, “Oh my goodness; I must have left it on the counter when I paid for my ice cream sandwich.”

I turned around and headed back, but then felt down in the bottom left pocket of my cargo pants (so many pockets, so little time), and there it was. Whew!

LATE-NIGHT STORIES AROUND THE FIRE PIT

When I got back to the hotel, the huge sit-around fire pit was going (pretty sure it was a gas fire pit) and there were three people sitting around it.

They saw me looking, and said, “Come on over.”

There was one woman and two men there. From what I could surmise, the man and woman sitting near each other were both on the same tour, but weren’t a couple.

The other man sat opposite from them and only participated in their conversation intermittently, mostly to give his take on some matter of the local area.

Fire pit

Once the two tourists left, the night grew colder and darker as the remaining man and I talked about a number of things. He was a pilot who hasn’t flown for a year, because he’s out on disability with knee issues and his response time can’t be counted on in dire situations.

We commiserated about failing knees, as I shared about my two arthroscopic surgeries on my left knee, how aging in general pretty much sucks, and how we were both too familiar with elder care and the role reversal that often comes with it.

When I mentioned that my birthday was coming up on Friday, he shared, “Mine was a couple of months ago and my mom died that day.”

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The preantepenultimate day leading up to my birthday

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~Tuesday, 10/10/17~

As I countdown to my 60th birthday on Friday, here are 3 highlights of my life that stand out for these years.

20 – 29 years old (1977 – 1986)

GETTING MARRIED. I got married at 20 to a 21-year-old woman, whom I truly did love, even though I knew I was gay at the time. It seems hard to believe nowadays, but I truly didn’t think coming out was an option, and I truly believed I could “make it work.” We had a lot in common—both military brats, both Catholic, both with the same financial aspirations and willingness to work and save to achieve them. We really were a good team—right up until we weren’t. I’m grateful for many invaluable lessons I learned about being in a relationship, most of which transcend gender and time. See wedding pictures from another time and place.

STARTING A CAREER. I got hired by IBM right out of college, and I remember that first day, Monday, May 19, 1980, taking the Alexander Drive exit off NC-147 in the Research Triangle Park, turning into IBM, and thinking, “I have arrived.” Over the course of 21 years there, I would do programming, test software, manage 9 software testers, work on quality (Six Sigma, The Defect Prevention Process), track service tickets and test fixes, become a member of the network performance team in IT, and then work on the IT communications team. In the later years, I would become an information developer writing software documentation and eventually become an editor.

GETTING A VASECTOMY. At age 29 and 9 years into our marriage, we’d known all along we didn’t want kids, so I got a vasectomy. The Duke surgeon wanted me to get permission from my parents, which of course, I refused to do. I said, “I no longer get permission from my parents to do anything.” On the day of the procedure, with my legs up in stirrups and my junk pulled through a hole in a sheet, the surgeon said, “We have a group of interns that we’d like to watch the procedure, if that’s okay. Having already attained “maximum shrivel factor,” and with the valium beginning to kick in, I said, “Why not? Pop some popcorn and give them all front row seats.”

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 10 – 19 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 40 – 49 years old | 50 – 59 years old

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The propreantepenultimate day leading up to my birthday

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~Monday, 10/09/17~

As I countdown to my 60th birthday on Friday, here are 3 highlights of my life that stand out for these years.

10 – 19 years old (1967 – 1976)

GETTING MY LICENSE AND GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL. I learned to drive on a car with a stick shift, and I got my license as soon as I could at 16. One time, as a newly-licensed driver, I parked in the inclined driveway of a girl’s house, and after we’d kissed for about 30 seconds, I opened my eyes to see that we’d rolled down the driveway and into the street because I’d had my foot on the clutch instead of the brake. I graduated 4th in my high school class in 1975 to Pomp & Circumstance and our senior class song, which was Stairway to Heaven.

GOING TO COLLEGE AND THE FIRST TIME FEELING LIKE AN ADULT. I didn’t do very well on my SATs (verbal higher than math—no surprise there), but I did get accepted into East Carolina University. I initially planned to major in Music before switching to their Math with a Computer Science Option degree. This was before there was a separate, accredited Computer Science degree, and I “wrote” Assembly and Cobol programs on an IBM punched card machine and later learned to program a PDP-11 computer. The first time I felt like a bonafide adult was shortly after moving into a dorm, when someone asked me to play tennis at 10 o’clock on a “school night,” and I realized it wasn’t “too late to do that” if I wanted to, and I didn’t have to ask anyone permission anyway.

WORKING MY WAY THROUGH COLLEGE AND BUYING MY FIRST CAR. For the first two years of college, I rode a bicycle from my dorm to Burger King, where I worked 40 hours a week at $2.37/hour while carrying a full class schedule. I once got a ticket for riding my bike home from work with no light on it after dark, and I remembered being outraged that someone working as hard as I was “just to make it,” would be “penalized” in that way. Then, I bought a brand new 1977 Toyota Corolla, and my car payments were $79 a month.

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 40 – 49 years old | 50 – 59 years old

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60th birthday trip day 4: On Martha’s Vineyard

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~Monday, October 9, 2017~ I got up at 8 o’clock and after a shower, I headed down to a sitting area off the lobby of the main building where there was a nice view and a bunch of tables.

There was a sign at the entrance that said, “Reserved for Homeowners’ Meeting,” but no one was in there.

The lady at the registration desk said, “You can go on in. The meeting doesn’t start until 10 o’clock.”

I enjoyed some complimentary coffee from the lobby, while I worked on my blog entry about my day yesterday and the one about the highlights of my second decade on the planet, which I also posted later in the day.

People started coming in for the meeting at about 9:50, and I packed up and set out for some breakfast after asking the person at the registration desk if she could recommend a place close by for some bagels.

BREAKFAST AT MURDICK’S

Murdick's Cafe sign

I had some coffee, a sesame seed bagel (Sorry, Chuck!), and although it wasn’t on the menu, I asked if I could have an egg on the side with it.

“Are you going to eat here?” asked the cashier, who looked a little like Oprah Winfrey in her role in The Color Purple.

“Yes,” I said.

“Okay, we can do that,” she said.

I grabbed some coffee to enjoy while I waited:

Murdick's Cafee coffee

A few minutes later, the cook brought my bagel and egg to my seat:

Murdick's Cafe bagel and egg

When I was done, I went up to the cashier and I said, “I just wanted to tell you that my bagel was deliciously soft and my egg was perfectly cooked. And I appreciate both of you.”

She bowed her head as if she were praying while I was talking and at the end, looked up, smiled, and said, “Thank you for taking the time to say that.”

On the way back to my hotel, I passed by Edgartown Books, which had this sign beside it advertising a cafe behind it. Now that’s a flag I could get on my knees for.

Behind the bookstore cafe

AN AFTERNOON OF WRITING

The homeowners’ meeting was over when I got back to the hotel, and I took a seat back in that area and did some glorious writing for several hours. And when I say writing, that includes the time to get my pictures onto my laptop in order to upload them into my blog entries, which is quite a tedious process including these steps:

  1. Uploading them from my phone to Dropbox.
  2. Renaming them on Dropbox so that their filenames will indicate what they are.
  3. Downloading them to my laptop.
  4. Uploading them to a WordPress photo album.
  5. Adding them into my blog entry.

LUNCH AT THE LOCAL DINER

I walked around with the goal of finding somewhere to have lunch. When I came across the Edgartown Diner, I thought of this recent Facebook posting by my friend Hugh Hollowell:

In a strange town all by myself, so of course I found a diner to eat breakfast in. In a real sense, they are like churches, with a public liturgy, a crowd of regulars, a common text and while there are many choices, we all have our favorites. You have your twenty-third psalm, I have my ham-and-cheese omelet with a side of fruit. There is a common architecture: Formica tables and broad expanses of glass facing the street, a counter that serves the single folks, the pot of coffee, the orange juice machine. Unlike most churches, however, newcomers are welcome with no expectation you will ever be back. They are content for you to join their community just for today, to participate as much or as little as you want, and to leave happier than when you arrived. “I don’t know you or your story, fella, but you look hungry. Come on in,” they seem to say. And so I do. They are not offended by the book in my hand, by my desire for solitude on a rainy morning, by the stubble on my unshaved face or the coffee stain on my t-shirt. Everyone is welcome at the church of the diner.

And so I entered:

The Edgartown Diner

And because I was a “single,” I took a seat at the counter. I hadn’t really planned on having another fish meal, but what they heck. I was in a local diner, caught up in the moment, and vacationing on Cape Cod for crying out loud.

Fish & chips menu item

Fish & chips plate

On the way back to the hotel from the diner, I stopped in:

Edgartown Books

These were the stairs leading up to the second floor:

Edgartown Books steps to the second floor

I just browsed, and this was probably my favorite book title of all, whose synopsis read: “Edamame and Edapapa meet their new ‘little bean’ in this adorable baby board book. With bright, colorful illustration and a touch of clever rhyming, Edamame and Edapapa share the arrival of their newest family member.”

Edamame & Edapapa book

WRITING AND NAPPING

I did some more writing in the afternoon and then took a glorious nap.

The remnants of hurricane-turned-tropical-storm Nate were passing through today, so although it wasn’t windy, really, it was a gray, drizzly day. Perfect napping weather.

DINNER

My “plan” for tonight was to go to a place I had seen while out walking last night and have some fried clams. But when I got to The Seafood Shanty and saw these two things on the menus, the rest was history:

Clam chowder menu description

Clam chowder

Crab-stuffed lobster menu description

Crab-stuffed lobster

I walked back to the hotel under an umbrella protecting me from the sleep-inducing breeze and drizzle, and I passed a local pub with a bunch of people cheering for some local team or other in some sport or other.

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60th birthday trip day 3: Morning on Nantucket, evening on Martha’s Vineyard

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~Sunday, October 8, 2017~ I was up at 7:00, a half-hour before my alarm was set for. After a few minutes, I knew I wasn’t going to fall back asleep, so I decided to get up and get my workout out of the way, which is very uncharacteristic of me.

I’m already not a morning person, and the only thought that got me there was, “Think of how good it will feel to have that over with so early in the day.” Plus, since today was a travel day, I wouldn’t have to worry about doing it once I got to Martha’s Vineyard.

A LADY IN THE EXERCISE ROOM

No, I’m not talking about me. There was another lady (inside joke) in there, whom I feel like I spent a disturbing amount of time wondering if I’d be physically attracted to if I were straight.

She was contorting her body into all kinds of inane positions, possibly yoga positions, as I’m not familiar with them, so wouldn’t recognize them if I saw them. She stood on her hands in one corner for a minute or so. On two separate occasions, she laid on the floor, face up, and threw her legs up over her head and touched the ground with them.

On another occasion, she bent over with her head all the way to the ground with her face looking between her legs. I wished she’d’ve done it facing the other way, as all I could see was her face, about two feet below her front-and-center ass, looking right where I was on the elliptical machine. Perhaps it was that yoga position double-down doggie style. Do straight porn movies start off with the bom-chicka-wah-wah music that gay porn movies start off with?

Oh, and did I mention her pink thong? All kinds of materials and fabrics going on there between the small of her back and the top of the crack of her ass.

MOM’S BREAKFAST REDUX

Today there was no fog, and I sat outside on the deck for breakfast. I actually ate less than I did yesterday, perhaps because it was still so close to the work I’d just done to burn off calories.

Today, they had French toast, which is one of my all-time favorite breakfast items, instead of the pancakes.

Out on the deck, after only a second sip of my cranberry juice, a bee landed on the rim of the glass, promptly slid down the inside into the juice, and eventually drowned. Bee be-gone. Ah, the circle of life.

WRITING AND WAITING

Checkout time was 11 a.m., so after breakfast, I packed up and went ahead and checked out at about 10:15. I sat in the lobby in my same wicked wicker whale seat to work on yesterday’s blog entry, and who should walk into the lobby at one point but Jim and Dawn.

“Nerd!” she yelled.

“Maybe next time you won’t judge so quickly. I could turn out to be a very fun guy. You never know,” I retorted.

“No kidding, uh?” she laughed.

They were getting ready to head out, and we reiterated what a good time we’d had with each other and said our goodbyes.

A SO-LESS-FUN VAN RIDE INTO TOWN

I caught the free 11 a.m. shuttle into town. Another guest was going into town just to shop, and she struck up a conversation. Not a fun person at all. Bless her heart.

She was a critical care nurse and was currently in her 41st year working, 61 years old, and waiting until she’s 65 to retire so she can have medical coverage though Medicare. Such a statement of our times, when you don’t get retirement medical benefits after 40 years of service even when your employer is a hospital. Bob can relate.

LUNCH

Even though my ferry didn’t leave until 2:30, I was able to check my two bags right away, and then I walked around the wharf area, which is quite quaint, and I looked for a place to eat something.

While walking, a store caught my eye in that the name, Vineyard Vines, made me think that maybe they’d have a nice t-shirt to buy. Boy, was I wrong.

As soon as I walked into the place, I knew it put the up (price) in upscale. Furthermore, I was totally turned off by what apparently was their shtick—to indelibly wrinkle the shirt sleeves of their merchandise.

One set of shirts with wrinkled sleeves

Another set of shirts with wrinkled sleeves

Okay, folks. These men’s shirts were NINETY-EIGHT DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS each. Bye, Felicia.

Back to my lunch: I didn’t want to spend a lot of money, I didn’t have that much time, and I didn’t want to eat too much, all of which led me to The Hub, where I spied an Italian Panini on the menu that sounded delicious. And it was—with pepperoni, salami, melted provolone cheese, and roasted red and jalapeno peppers in it.

Italian panini

THE FERRY RIDE

After lunch, I headed back to the wharf, where the 2:15 ferry to Hyannis was loading. One of the workers said to a colleague, “There are so many dogs on this boat!” I watched a bunch of them, including at least 4 bulldogs with their endearing underbites, sauntering their way up the gangplank.

Here’s the boat and another dog that came up at the last minute:

They 2:15 ferry to Hyannis

A last-minute canine

That Hyannis ferry pulled out at 2:16, and five minutes later our ferry to Martha’s Vineyard pulled in. Today was the last day for this ferry between Nantucket and Martha’s vineyard this season. And I could see why. There were only about 25 of us waiting to board, while the one to Hyannis had 100-200 people on it.

Thank god this trip was only one-hour-and-fifteen minutes. I should have known it might be iffy when the captain said after telling us where the life jackets were stored, “It’s probably gonna get pretty choppy out there today.”

I started off on my laptop, but quickly realized that reading and writing with the rocking that was going on was not going to be a good combination.

At about halfway through, we were rocking back and forth so severely that huge waves of water were coming up over the side of the boat and soaking the window I was sitting next to, like when a car passes you in pouring down rain and throws enough rain on your windshield at once that you can’t see momentarily.

With about 20 minutes to go, I had my eye on the barf bags about 20 feet away from me, and I tried my darnedest not to think about that day during my 50th birthday trip to Australia, on the ferry from Brisbane to Heron Island on the Great Barrier Reef, which turned from an advertised “nice cruise on a catamaran to Heron Island” to a “5-vomit-bag ride from hell.”

Seriously, if this gig would have been (literally) two more minutes, I don’t think it would have ended as well as it did. With that said, once we started pulling into the port at Martha’s Vineyard, it was calm again with a quintessential New England scene with harbor-side houses and boats in the marina, complete with seagull cameos.

TRANSPORTATION TO MY HOTEL

I had a hard time getting a ride to my hotel, some of which was my propensity to find the cheapest way there that I could. I checked the local buses, and even walked to one corner where I saw two go by, but once I got there, no other ones came. From what I could tell of a quick scan of their rates, it would have been a $5.60 fare to Edgartown, where I was going.

I called two of the three taxi companies that came up on my phone, and neither one of them sounded overly excited about picking me up, and 18-20 minutes was the shortest wait time I could expect.

I tried Uber, which offered me only a UberLUX option (“Stylish, high-end cars for special occasions”) for $37.95. This was for an 11-mile ride to Edgartown, the next town over, mind you.

I walked back to the wharf, and shortly after getting there, a taxi drove up. It was an 8- to 10-seating van, but since I was the only one standing there and I had flagged him down, he stopped.

By the accent when he asked me where I was going, and one other thing he uttered while en route (to check in with the taxi dispatcher to communicate his fare and destination) I could tell he was British. He was kind of hot, but he had a pack of cigarettes on his console. At least the van didn’t smell like an ashtray, though.

I was thinking, “Well if Uber was $37.95, this is probably going to be $50,” and then in the ironies of all ironies, at least to me, we got behind the very bus I wanted to catch and followed it all the way to Edgartown.

I perseverated the whole way thinking how a $5 ride was that close to me the entire way, but I was paying 10 times that amount. Needless to say, I was completely taken aback when the taxi driver said when he let me out, “That’ll be $20.”

THE HARBORSIDE INN

The Harborside Inn is a multi-building conglomeration, and my room was the Captain Abel room. Once I arrived in it, the air-conditioning wouldn’t come on, and when I called the front desk about it, the phone kept shorting in and out.

When I could finally talk to her and explained about the air-conditioning, she said she would send someone up to look at it.

I said, “I would really like to just move to another room if you have one. This is a special trip for me, and this place is $350 a night. I want everything to be nice.”

“Of course, Mr. Martin,” she said. “Please come back to the front desk and we’ll take care of it.”

She upgraded me to a room with a harbor view and a private balcony in the Ripley House, whose history is this:

Capt. Tristram P. Ripley House was the show place of its day when built about 1850, the year the captain married Eliza M. Mayhew, “the beauty of her day.” He was master of such famous whalers as Champion, Charles W. Morgan, Young Phoenix and Mercury. Eliza went with him on several voyages. When he retired, the captain went into the wood and coal business with his neighbor, Capt. Alexander Fisher. In the 1900s, the house was converted to an inn, being run under several names, one being the Studley House, Capt. George H. Studley, innkeeper.

Harbor view room with a balcony

Room interior

MORE WRITING

Ecstatic with the internet connection here, two or three hours just flew by while I wrote for my blog and enjoyed a few cocktails.

I don’t know if I’m just out of practice, or if it was always this time-intensive writing blog entries, but at one point I did stop and wonder, “How in the world did I have a blog entry for every day of my life for 10 years between January 12, 2004 and January 12, 2014.”

As a complete aside: I just re-read that January 12, 2014 entry about the writing, the challenges, and the joys of that 10-year period, about which I surmised: “It was a wild—and at times difficult—ride, but like all things involving discipline, challenges, and time, I feel a real sense of accomplishment having done it.”

I went to brush my teeth and the toothpaste tube reminded me of Bob and I posted this on Facebook:

I am committed to squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom, never in the middle. But, I squeezed it in the
middle just now to remind me of somebody who does it that way, because he’s not here and I miss him. ❤️

Toothpaste tube squeezed in the middle

DINNER

At about 7:30, I headed out to check out some place to have dinner. I knew I wanted seafood and a quick Google search presented 3 places very close by, two of which had a $$$$ designator and one of which had a $$$ designator. Guess which one I chose.

At the Atlantic Fish & Chop House, I asked about the lobster and chose the 1-lb one over the 2-lb one. I didn’t want any sides, and it came with fresh bread, which I had to wait for a little longer than I would preferred, but it was because it was in the oven, still cooking.

There were three kinds of bread, which came with butter and an Kalamata olive and olive oil spread that was delicious.

The bread

The lobster

After dinner, I strolled around the area and came across an ice cream shop, and I was both surprised and pleased that it was open as late as it was and that my two-scoop cone of maple walnut was almost half the price of the one I’d had last night in Nantucket.

Maple walnut ice cream cone

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The eve of the propreantepenultimate day leading up to my birthday

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~Sunday, 10/08/17~ And so begins the countdown to my 60th birthday on Friday. I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple of months, and it’s been an interesting exercise trying to narrow down 3 things to highlight about a whole decade of your life. It’s made me think of Jonathan Larson’s Seasons of Love from Rent, the musical, a few times, too.

So, without further ado, here’s today’s reflection.

Birth – 9 years old (1957 – 1966)

BEING A MILITARY BRAT. My dad was a 30-year career marine, and we moved around a lot in my formative years. Most of it was between the ages of 4 and 13, and I attended 9 different schools between kindergarten and 7th grade. Most of the places were in Massachusetts, where all of both my mom’s and dad’s families lived. See a list of all the schools I went to and where.

LEARNING ABOUT AMBITION AND DETERMINATION. When my dad went to Vietnam for a year—his second tour there—we lived upstairs from my aunt and uncle. My uncle was building his own home, and I watched him cut stone that he had previously measured to fit its neighboring pieces already up. He cut the stone by hand, with a chisel. If I remember correctly, it took him over 10 years to finish that house. See a picture of the house.

REALIZING I WAS GAY. At age 7, I began to realize that I was gay, although I didn’t know that word then. It was more like coming to the frightening realization that I was a freak—one of those kind of people—and although I didn’t know it then, it was the beginning 28 long, and at times exhausting, years trying to hide it.

Other reflections: 10 – 19 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 40 – 49 years old | 50 – 59 years old

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60th birthday trip day 2: On Nantucket Island

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~Saturday, October 7, 2017~ I was up at 7:30, and when I opened my door to head out to breakfast, I saw something I’d never pictured in the many times I’d daydreamed about this trip since booking it in June. It was foggy as hell.

MOM’S BREAKFAST

Mom's Breakfast sign

“Mom’s Breakfast” is included each morning at The Nantucket Inn. When I got to the entrance of the dining area, there was a couple in front of me, and the woman read this sign out loud to her husband:

Wait to be seated sign

Then she looked at him and asked, “Does that mean we need to wait to be seated?” Not really sure what tripped her up, as I found the message pretty straight forward.

“Mom’s Breakfast” was quite the spread. There were several stations:

  • One of potatoes, corned beef hash, bacon, sausage, pancakes, and scrambled eggs.
  • One with yogurt and fresh fruit.
  • One with all kinds of breads including English muffins, mini-bagels, 3 different kinds of breads for toasting, and several different kinds of pastries and muffins.
  • A waffle station with some whipped topping for them and 3 different kinds of warm syrups.
  • One with cranberry and orange juice.

Here are a couple of them:

The fruit and yogurt station

Part of the bread and sweets station

I had this full plate, with a side order of toast, and then I had some of the fresh fruit for “dessert” instead of the pastries.

My breakfast plate

My fruit plate


During my time in the dining area, I noted these two snippets of separate conversations:

  • A lady ran into another lady she apparently hadn’t seen in quite a while, and perhaps had even met here during a previous vacation.
    First lady: I remember you! It’s been a long time. I even remember that you have three kids, three girls.
    Second lady: “Actually, I have two now. I lost one.”
  • “You can’t just sit there and watch someone clean your house when you feel like doing it yourself.”

GETTING A WORKOUT IN

At 1:30, I forced myself to go to the hotel’s “Exercise Room,” which consisted of one treadmill, two elliptical machines, and one stationary bicycle, along with some free weights and one of those all-in-one strength training machines.

A man came in after I was in there for about 10 minutes, and he turned on the TV. He was easily drawn in to whatever show was on, which looked like some kind of documentary. I was glad I had my earbuds with me and my music was loud enough that I didn’t hear a single word of it.

I really didn’t think I would do 60 minutes of cardio while I was on vacation, but once I was on there and sweating full-hog, I just kept going, burning off 735 calories—probably only half the number of calories I had for breakfast.

Back at my place, I snapped these pictures of it:

My room door

My 'end unit' room

A LITTLE WRITING

I spent a couple of hours writing Friday’s blog entry and reviewing my birthday-related blog posts I’m going to be making this week.

The wifi service is absolutely exasperating at this hotel. I’m not happy about it.

I actually had gone to the lobby area to write thinking the signal might be stronger there, but it wasn’t. I asked the registration person if there was possibly a better place to sit for a stronger signal, and she suggested an area where I had to move a wicked wicker whale, and a lamp and turn a chair sideways, in order to use the space.

Late in the afternoon, I googled “Gay Nantucket” and got some ridiculous search results, one of which said there were 10 gays bars on the island. When I clicked on that item, it listed one bar in Hyannis and another one in Connecticut, I think it was. Clickbait.

I decided to take the hotel’s free shuttle into town and check out three that actually looked like real places on the island, although from their descriptions all three of them looked like restaurant/bars rather than just bars.

MEETING JIM & DAWN

While waiting for the van to leave, a couple walked up who were also going into town in the van. The lady took a seat with me on the bench, and after a few minutes we started talking. We never stopped.

They were celebrating an anniversary here, and I filled them in on the reason for my trip.

By the time we got into town, we were best friends, and they invited me to go to a bar called the Starlight Theater & Cafe, where they were getting a drink before 8 o’clock dinner reservations they had elsewhere.

It was a cool place with an entrance to a little theater, which honestly, reminded me of a theater in San Francisco that played gay porn, and which very few people went to to actually watch any movie. It reminded me of it in looks only, though, not because it was nasty or looked nefarious in any way.

Jim treated us to drinks, and we got right back to conversation about everything and anything. Jim finished his beer before Dawn and I finished our cocktails, and I insisted on buying his second beer.

8:00 quickly rolled around, and since we had talked about gay bars—that I was going out to search for one and that Dawn had never been in one—I told Dawn that if I found one and they’d might want to meet me there, I’d text them where I was later.

Not surprisingly, she was game and gave me her number, which we had a good laugh over, because it contained several permutations of the number “69” in it. What are we, 12?

DINNER

I made my way to one of the establishments listed as a gay bar from a different Google search, and other than the hot waiter and only one or two same-sex couples (or at least two men and two women sitting together), it looked like any other bar to me. Plus, I’d characterize it a restaurant with a bar before I’d call it a bar.

It was called The Nautilus, and it was packed. I hadn’t even realized it was a Saturday night. It’s a good sign on vacation when you don’t remember (or care) what day it is.

There were no tables available, and in fact all of them were booked for the rest of the evening. The hostess invited me to sit at the bar, which was also full at the moment, so I just went and stood behind someone to try and order a drink.

A hunk-of-a-waiter saw me having no luck getting a seat and came over to say he was sorry the bar was full, but there would probably be a seat opening soon. I said okay and stepped outside to see how close another place on my list was, when said hunk-of-a-man came outside and said, “Come with me.”

A single seat had come open at the end of the bar, and he sat me there. I ordered a bourbon and soda, and the bartender said, “Bourbon on the rocks with just a splash of soda?”

“Perfect,” I said.

It took me less than a New England minute to decided on what I was going to get:

Blue crab fried rice menu item

While I was waiting for that to arrive, that waiter who had seated me walked by and I said, “I just wanted to let you know that you saved a customer. I was looking for somewhere else to go when you came outside to get me, so thank you for that.”

“I’m just glad a seat come available so quickly for you,” he replied.

I ate the hell out of this dish, and I’d have to agree with this Yelp review of the plate, which I didn’t see until later: “The blue crab fried rice was out of this world as was the Tuna poke and chicken yakitori noodle bowl.”

Blue crab fried rice dinner

Before leaving, I asked the waiter if he had a recommendation of a place to go where I could meet some friends, and he said, “I’d recommend Lola 41. There’s a bartender there named Germain, but he pronounces ‘German’; tell him I sent you.”

On the walk there, I came upon an ice cream shop and dropped in for a cone of maple walnut. I had a $5 bill out, sure that it would cover my 2-scoop cone, when she said, “That’ll be $7.50.”

I thought for that much money, I could at least get some free advice as to whether I was close to Lola 41, and she said, “Yep, just up the street on the right.”

REUNITING WITH JIM AND DAWN

It was indeed just a few more feet up the block, and I took a seat at the bar. I asked if Germain was there, and a big-gunned bartender said, “No, he’s not here tonight; he’s doing a wedding. I’m Tom, and this is Amy,” he said indicating the bartender now beside him. “You’ll do in a pinch,” I thought—about Tom, not Amy.

I ordered a bourbon and soda and texted Dawn to let her know where I was. They arrived shortly, and we shared our dinner stories over another cocktail or two.

Jim gave us the 15-minute warning for the 11:15 p.m. shuttle back to the hotel (at least I think it was the 11:15), and we settled our tabs and made our way to the Visitors Center on Federal Street for the pick-up.

Back at the hotel, we promptly sat at the bar and had a nightcap. So thirsty! 🙂

All in all, it was a fun, fun evening, and one that I hadn’t at all seen in my future earlier that afternoon. Funny aside: During the course of the evening Dawn confessed to the fact that she had seen me on my laptop in the lobby of the hotel earlier in the day (near the wicked wicker whale) and thought, “What a nerd.”

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60th birthday trip day 1: On Nantucket Island

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~Friday, October 6, 2017~ We were up at 4 a.m. and left the house at just after 4:30, leaving what I thought would be plenty of time to make my 6:10 flight.

When I got inside, the line for Delta check-in must have had close to 100 people in it. Walking toward it, I remembered that I had a first-class ticket, and I glanced over at the Sky Priority line, which had about 8 people in it. I wasn’t sure if you could you use that line if you weren’t one of their Medallion-level frequent fliers, but I decided to ask for forgiveness instead of permission, and got in that line.

When I got to the ticket agent, she didn’t say anything about it, and when I saw my ticket, I saw that I was ok:

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Then I headed toward security, where I found the line astoundingly long. Without exaggeration, there were at least 500 people in the line that went along one wall of the terminal, reached a corner, then ran along that wall, then once it hit the other wall, it made a “U” and snaked back up along the original wall. And this was the line just to enter the security area, where once inside, it also snaked to get to the attendant to check you through to the actual scanning area.

At that point, it was about 5:10 and I knew I was going to miss my flight in this line. Then, I noticed that my ticket was marked “TSA Precheck,” and I thought, “Oh good. Maybe I don’t have to wait in this line.” I flagged someone down to ask, and she said, “Come with me,” and took me to the entrance for the pre-check folks, which had virtually no line.

THE FLIGHT

Once on board, the pilot came out to greet us and said, “I’m glad those of you who are here made it through that security line in time. I’ve been working at RDU for 9 years and I have never seen the line that long when it wasn’t the day before Thanksgiving or Christmas.”

On board, I was thrilled to find out that my 1A seat was by itself, as it was a smaller plane with one seat on one side of the aisle and two seats on the other. And then, bonus, no one ended up sitting in seats 1B and 1C. This was a relief, because I have a cold and I was afraid I’d be getting evil eyes if I started coughing during the flight.

There was a man behind me with 2 kids, who was incredibly annoying. He couldn’t sit still. Before we even left the gate, he got up three times to get something out of his carry on, which was stored in the overhead bin across from me. The third time, he pulled out some headphones that were bigger than his head. After sitting down for about 2 minutes, he got up again and went to the flight attendant area to get a paper towel, with which he started wildly cleaning the screen of his iPad. During the flight, he twice walked up to the flight attendant’s drink and snack cart to request one thing or another—after having already been served at his seat.

Just before landing, the flight attendant had already locked the bathroom door, and one of his 2 boys came up to use it. The flight attendant said, “Gotta make it quick, we’re about to land.” As soon as he started opening the door to come out, the other kid came to the bathroom. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. He came out, and the flight attendant locked the door again. Then their father came up again! She unlocked the door again, repeated her warning. OMFG. Can you say high-maintenance family?!?”

We landed about 15 minutes early, and my baggage came out fairly quickly. I never pay to check a bag, but I got two free bag checks with my ticket, so I took advantage of it.

THE BUS RIDE FROM BOSTON TO HYANNIS

At the ground transportation place where I was catching the Plymouth & Brockton bus to Hyannis at 9:15, the 8:15 bus was still there since it was 8:12, and when I showed the guy my ticket he said, “The tickets are good for any bus, so you can get on this one; there’s still room.”

I took the front seat on the passenger side, so right in front of the entrance door. We made 4 more stops within the airport and each time people started boarding, I coughed to signal that I had a cold, which kept everyone moving past the open seat next to me. At the last stop, the bus was starting to get full, so a man took the seat beside me anyway.

He was a bit of a bigger guy, not huge, but big enough that his right knee rubbed against mine when he said down. He immediately started rocking back and forth in his seat, and after a few minutes he said something that I couldn’t hear, but it turned out not to matter, because he wasn’t talking to me—but to himself. I thought for a moment that he might be “on the spectrum,” which would of course would have been fine.

To my surprise, after a while, he asked the bus driver, “Is Plymouth & Brockton hiring any drivers?”

To which the driver responded, “Do you have your CDL?”

“I don’t,” he replied, “but my wife does, and she’s looking for a job.”

The conversation turned into a long one that devolved into various aspects of working for Plymouth & Brockton including route selections, wages, vacation, and medical benefits.

THE FERRY FROM HYANNIS TO NANTUCKET

I alighted at the Hyannis stop, and the bus driver announced that there was a black courtesy phone inside the station to call the steamship authority for a free shuttle to the terminals. I picked up the phone, which rang 3 times and then went busy. I asked a lady in the nearby information desk about it, and she said, “Darn it. That phone is out of order again. Let me call them for you.”

The van picked me up, and after driving for a minute, the driver asked, “Are you on the 11:35 to Martha’s Vineyard?”

“No,” I said, “the 12:35 to Nantucket.”

“Oh, you must be on the Hy-Line Ferry. This shuttle is for the Steamship Authority boats only, and I’m not allowed to drop passengers off at the Hy-Line. You’ll have to get off at our stop and walk over to the Hy-Line Ferry area.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize there were two different places there. I’m happy to walk the rest of the way.”

“It’s not that far, really,” he said sounding a little guilty that he’d come across so harshly.

I said, “Oh, it’s no problem. I really am happy to walk.”

“Well, maybe I could cheat just this one time and drop you off over there,” he said.

“Thanks,” I said. And when he did, I said, “I appreciate you.”

Although I already had a printed reservation with a barcode on it that I assumed could be used to check in on the ferry, I went to the window at 11:10 to confirm with a human being.

“Oh, you’re on the 12:35 to Nantucket, but the 11:20 is getting ready to leave. Did you want to switch to that one?”

She made the switch, put a $7 credit on my charge card, because I had upgraded to the “Captain’s View” on that boat, but it wasn’t available on this boat, and I ran to the ferry. My ticket got rejected because she’d printed a 12:35 ticket instead of an 11:20 ticket, so I ran back to the window to exchange, where the clerk apologized profusely, because she knew it was about time to leave.

It was a very pleasant, one-hour ferry ride to Nantucket. There were several adorable dogs on board. Here’s one:

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I resisted getting anything to eat at the little snack bar on board, including a several-minute debate with myself about a Bloody Mary.

ARRIVING ON NANTUCKET

It took longer than I would have preferred for me to get the free shuttle to The Nantucket Inn, as two people at the wharf gave me bad information about where I was to pick it up. Finally, after calling the hotel and getting accurate information, I made my way over to the correct place to pick it up.

Although check-in time wasn’t until 4 p.m., I was given my room right away. It’s a cute little room:

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A WIN/WIN WALK

And after settling in, I walked one mile to a liquor store to buy some bourbon. On the way, I stopped into a little mart I passed to see if they had any seltzer water, which I’d pick up on the way back instead of at the liquor store (if they had it) to save me having to carry it for a mile-and-a-half.

A little further along the way, I passed this little park with fabulously green grass, and some cool statues. Here’s one:

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The Canadian Club bottle that’s regularly $22 in Raleigh was $29 here, which was probably more than it should be, but less than I expected it would be. On the way back, I stopped and bought the seltzer water and some salty snacks—Cheetos and Cap Cod potato chips.

HAPPY HOUR WITH TOM AND HOLLY

After pouring myself a cocktail and eating some Cape Cod chips on Cape Cod:

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Someone pointed out that I should have been drinking a Cape Cod, too. Wish I’d thought of it!

I went outside to a little courtyard in front of my room:

Courtyard near my room

There I found Tom and Holly sitting and enjoying cocktails of their own. They were from Florida (still are) and had come up to Massachusetts to celebrate Tom’s mom turning 90 years old. Holly’d said, “Well, it’d be silly to go all the way and not enjoy a little time to ourselves, so we scheduled this part of the trip.”

They asked me if I was from around here, and I told them that I’d left Massachusetts 47 years ago, and that although I’d been back a few times for trips to Provincetown, I’d never been to Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard, or Hyannis—not even during the first 13 years of my life when we lived in Fall River.

To which Tom said, “Ah. Fall River. Where Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother 40 whacks…” and we finished in unison, “And when she saw what she had done, she gave her father 41.”

I told them about the time my sister and I put my parents up in the Lizzy Borden Bed & Breakfast, which had wallpaper with little hatchets on it and served sugar cookies in the shape of a hatchet with the sugar crystals dyed red along the edge of the blade part of the cookie.

DINNER AT AK DIAMONDS

I had dinner at AK Diamonds, a two-tenths-of-a-mile walk from the inn and recommended by them. This is what I had, and the chowder was out of this world!

Chowder menu description

Nantucket quahog chowder

Flatbread menu description

Pepperoni-Bacon-Flatbread

TAKING A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON MY GOOD FORTUNE TODAY

All of these things contributed to not only smooth, but unexpectedly ahead-of-schedule, travelling today:

  1. Having splurged on a first-class ticket back in June when I planned this trip.
  2. Arriving early in Boston, which allowed me to take a bus an hour earlier than the one I’d planned to take.
  3. The “huge heart” of the van driver who compromised his integrity and “cheated”—going against his company’s policies.
  4. Arriving at Hy-Line Ferry 10 minutes before the 11:20 ferry to Nantucket was leaving, allowing me to switch to that one from my originally schedule 12:35 one.

And these are non-related-to-traveling things that I’m grateful for, too:

  1. Being able to afford to take a “bucket list” trip like this.
  2. Having a husband who supports and cheers me on in everything in life, including taking this trip alone.
  3. Having a job that pays me when I’m not working, like today and next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
  4. Being successful in weighing less than I have in 5 years—something I’ve been working very hard at since February.
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Matt’s “Writing Salon”: A prompt-writing gathering

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On Sunday, the first day of October, I attended a gathering at the home of my friend and co-worker, Matt, for a couple of hours of prompt writing. In attendance, in addition to Matt and myself, were Naomi, Brent, Jacques, and Matt’s girlfriend, Ashley, who devised the prompts we used for the evening.

Here are the prompts, for each of which we had 15 minutes to devise a story, and then decide whether or not we wanted to read it to the group.

They held each other’s hands tightly in the rain, waiting, all 15 of them, until the music had stopped…

In all honesty, they didn’t anticipate the Verdi Requiem for their friend’s final farewell. Five of them were leaning toward Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. Three thought for sure it’d be Martina McBride’s How Great Thou Art. And the other 7 were betting on John Berry’s Blessed Assurance. I, personally, had just prayed that no bagpipes or harpsichords would be involved, and simply beamed with the playing of taps. In all honesty, I melted at the way the trumpet player’s lips encircled the brass mouthpiece with an embouchure so exquisite that it excited me in a most inappropriate manner.

It turned out that after the break-in only one thing was missing… (I wrote to this amended prompt. The original one led off with “Despite the broken glass and mass chaos.”)

Well, only one thing was obviously missing… at first. But, as the days wore on, they found other things missing: her feather earrings and his fishing lure (which in retrospect looked a lot like her feather earrings). Then, the next time they had games night, they discovered that their Twister game was missing. It would actually be years before they realized that both their high school senior class rings had gone missing that day, too—rings they’d stopped wearing when high school had finally become irrelevant to her and his size 8 rings no longer fit on his size 10 fingers.

It turned out to be the cleaning people who had figuratively “cleaned the house,” filling trash bags with household items that were then “accidentally” diverted past the trashcans and into the trunk of their car. Their biggest mistake, though, was taking his only pair of jeans that still fit. As soon as he got home from work that day, he found them missing, which led to the filing of the police report.

Less alarmed than bemused, she noted that the gun had, in fact, been loaded after all…

And then she thought, “This is incredibly convenient,” remembering the calculating and deliberating last week about whether she could be sure that if she drove her BMW off the calling roadside cliff she’d actually end up dead as opposed to a quadriplegic for life, or perhaps worse, “locked in” to her body with no abilibty to indicated that the black ice really didn’t figure at all into the “accident.”

With that, she started a Facebook Live event, and when exactly 10 people had tuned in, she put the barrel to her head and just before pulling the trigger said, “I’m pretty sure this won’t hurt a bit.”

The Senate floor fell suddenly silent. In 200 years of existence, no one had ever spoken those words…

As the gay gentleman from North Carolina finished his sentence, the straight gentleman from Texas said, “They put what, where, again? That’s got to hurt. I remember the day I decided to be with Eve instead of Steve. I was a man on a mission, positioned to procreate with a rhythm so natural I didn’t even have to fantasize about Gina at the Gentleman’s Club to make it to home base. That said, however, if I gave some dude-on-dude action a try, I might gain a whole new constituency.

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My night of terror

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I had three nightmares last night, all disturbing and frightening in their own way.

DIAGNOSED

I was at a gathering of family and friends and I had a wife who was projecting a slide show on the wall. I don’t remember the slide before or after to know if they were about a vacation or a topic or what.

Then one came up that just said: TERMINAL KIDNEY FAILURE. Everyone gasped, then got real quiet, and then slowly turned to me while I processed that this was a diagnosis about me that my wife had shared earlier with everyone, but hadn’t yet told me about, and the slide was supposed to have been removed from the “show.”

I just stood there stunned, for quite a while, wondering all those things I imagine everyone wonders when they get such news. “How bad is it? How long have I been sick? How much time do I have left?”

I moved slowly across the room, with all eyes on me, hugged my wife and cried inconsolably—terrified. Then I woke up.

ON DUTY

I was a new police officer, and I was with my partner going through a rundown building with rooms that were enclosed per se, but consisted of walls that you could see over and with glass-less windows and door-less doorways. They were such that you could see into a room through one door or window and see another window in the room that let you see into an adjacent room.

I had a gun but no idea how to use it. My partner heard a noise behind one wall and went to investigate. I was scared to death and didn’t want to be anywhere around that, so even though I knew I was supposed to be covering him, I left the area, walking around another corner in complete terror that I was going to come face-to-face with a “bad guy” with a gun.

There wasn’t anyone there, but I saw in the distance a line of people forming that was being escorted out of the building, so I got in it. Once I got just past the door leading outside, a woman called me, and said, “What are you doing?” I looked at her puzzled, to which she continued, “Don’t you recognize me? I’m your supervisor. You’re supposed to be in here working your beat. Get back in here.”

I re-entered the building—terrified. Then I woke up.

OUT OF CONTROL (A dream the likes of which I’ve had before)

I was driving alone in a van/truck. It was dark outside, and I was traveling about 50 MPH and using the cruise control. I was driving along the side of a mountain, so it was a winding road.

Suddenly, I was on the floor between the steering wheel and driver door and holding on to the steering wheel with one hand trying to steer from down there. I could see the quickly-passing side of the mountain out the windshield, and I wondered how long I could keep from crashing while steering but not being able to see the road ahead.

Then, the overhead cabin light came on, which made it even harder to see out the windshield at the passing mountain to try and at least stay close to it or follow it as a guide.

I thought, “Oh my god, how long can I keep doing this? I can’t believe I haven’t hit the side of the mountain yet. Or hit another car ahead of me. Or crossed the lane and hit an oncoming car. Or crossed the other lane and driven off the side of the mountain.”

I tried to get up, but I was wedged tightly between the seat and the door, so I couldn’t—and I was terrified. Then I woke up.

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What day is it? It’s today. My favorite day, at Red Hat.

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What day is it? It's today. My favorite day.


I’ve been working at Red Hat, on and off now, for about 3 years and 9 months, and I’m going to call Tuesday, June 6, 2017 my best day yet. Here are the 3 things that contributed to that:

ONE: RED HAT PRIDE INFORMATION TABLE

Red Hat has a diversity and inclusion group called Red Hat Pride, a group of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning, and asexual/androgynous Red Hat associates and their allies who are working together to make Red Hat a more diverse, inclusive meritocracy. Ally is a term used to describe someone who is supportive of the LGBTQA+ community.

On Tuesday along with the other Red Hat diversity and inclusion groups, we staffed a table for this week’s New Hire Orientation class that included around 75 people, a good majority of whom were 2017 summer interns.

I marveled as 11 people from the class signed up to be on the mailing list for our group. I’m not naive enough to think our community still doesn’t face lots of challenges around the globe these days, but this gives me hope for a new generation of kids.

TWO: SHARE A MOMENT THAT MADE YOU PROUD TO WORK AT RED HAT

Our CEO sent out this request:

I want to invite every Red Hatter to share a story about a specific time when you were proud to work at Red Hat. These stories will be used to collaboratively craft a “functional why” for each of our core organizations, and ultimately, an overarching Red Hat Why.

In response, I shared my story:

My “proud to be a Red Hatter” moment happened fairly recently. One morning I was in the elevator with a cake in a large Tupperware cake taker. It was just me and another guy (whom I didn’t know) in there, and he said, “That looks good! I’d be even more impressed if you made it yourself.”

I did my usual split-second assessment as to whether I was in a safe place or not and then said, “Actually, my husband made it.”

Thanks, Red Hat.

To this posting, I received a number of heartwarming responses:

  • My favorite story. You are loved!
  • How wonderful. Thanks for sharing that.
  • Love this!
  • Literally gave me chills. I’m so glad that you feel Red Hat is a safe place where you can be yourself and share bits of your life with us.
  • ❤️ this 😊 We’re so lucky to have you John Martin!
  • John, don’t think we’ve ever met… but good to meet you now. I wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I appreciated your “Why” story. I can only hope that there is a day sooner, rather than later, where anyone does not have to perform that gut check for the “safe place” before speaking freely. All the best!
  • This is my favorite story so far :-). Thank you for sharing, John. My brother wrestles with that question of “am I in a safe place?”, too, but he also works for a company where he doesn’t have to worry about it. He’s told me similar stories—and how it makes his life so much richer to be able to live openly and freely. Thanks. You made my day, and made me even prouder to be a Red Hatter.
THREE: CELEBRATION OF WORLD ENVIRONMENT DAY

Our Red Hat Global Workforce Solutions group hosted a “Sustainability Walking Tour” in celebration of World Environment Day, and we walked about a mile around the area of our building, where we stopped at various “stations” to learn facts about how our city is protecting our environment in a number of ways. At each stop, someone held a sign that listed the ways the nearby things were being protected.

When we got back to the office, I sent this email to the GWS team:

Thanks to the GWS team for putting together the Downtown Raleigh Sustainability Tour. I was surprised that it was as informative as it was fun. You guys rock!

I was so inspired by your signs that I made my own:

 

YOURS

 

MINE

 

To which I received these replies:

  • I. LOVE. THIS. and you! 🙂 You bring such joy to Red Hat Tower!
  • This is amazing!!!! Thanks for coming and thanks for the shout-out! 🙂
  • Ha! Thanks for the laugh.
  • John, the picture made me laugh! Thanks for the positive note and glad you enjoyed it. Have a great rest of the week.
  • Haha this is great. 🙂

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En man som heter Ove (A Man Called Ove) (2015)

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I started reading the book on May 17, 2017 and after 10 days of on-and-off reading, I abandoned it on May 27, 2017. The story was good enough that I wanted to know what was going to happen next, but alas, the writing was too poor to keep reading.

There were too, too many similes and too much “telling” instead of “showing” in the writing. This is a typical example of a paragraph that drove me nuts:

And when she took hold of his lower arm, thick as her thigh, and tickled him until that sulky boy’s face opened up in a smile, it was like a plaster cast cracking around a piece of jewelry, and when this happened it was as if something started singing inside Sonja. And they belonged only to her, those moments.

To my surprise, the movie had quickly become available on Amazon Prime, which actually helped with my decision to abandon the book, since I could experience the rest of the plot without having to read it.

The synopsis

From its the IMDB entry: Ove, an ill-tempered, isolated retiree who spends his days enforcing block association rules and visiting his wife’s grave, has finally given up on life just as an unlikely friendship develops with his boisterous new neighbors.

The trailer

 

 

My thoughts and observations

  1. This Swedish entry for Best Foreign Language Picture (which didn’t win) was, overall, delightful. It had subtitles, but since they only translated the dialogue, there were no similes at all in them! 🙂

  2. This movie has been described as a “heartwarming, feel-good, funny and moving dramedy,” which I don’t disagree with. It wasn’t too feel-good, though—about which I’m glad, because that’s a detrimental characteristic in my assessment of movies.

  3. I loved the way the character of Parvaneh was portrayed by Bahar Pars.

  4. Themes touched upon in this movie included:
    • Friendship
    • Love
    • Loss
    • Loneliness
    • Morality
    • Empathy

It’s rare that I prefer a movie over a book, but this was one of those cases in which I did. My Swedish friend, Lars, said, “The movie was lovely and moving, as was the book in Swedish.” With that, I’m going to chalk up the writing to a poor translation.

Have you seen this movie and/or read the book? If so, what’d you think?

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Hidden Figures (2016) movie thoughts and observations

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After waiting for it to become available on Netflix, Bob and I watched Hidden Figures with much anticipation.

The synopsis

Three brilliant African-American women at NASA—Katherine Johnson (Taraji P. Henson), Dorothy Vaughan (Octavia Spencer) and Mary Jackson (Janelle Monáe)—serve as the brains behind one of the greatest operations in history: the launch of astronaut John Glenn (Glen Powell) into orbit, a stunning achievement that restored the nation’s confidence, turned around the Space Race and galvanized the world.

The trailer

My thoughts and observations

  1. As much as I wanted to love this movie, the main thing that kept me from doing so revolves around the reason I really don’t care for mainstream movies most of the time. There are two main factors:

    1. In an effort to make a story “entertaining,” it is usually overly dramatized at the expense of the narrative.

       

    2. The forgone conclusion that it will have a happy ending makes it painfully predictable.

      Example of a: I know Katherine Johnson didn’t run back and forth to that “Colored Ladies Room” in the other building in the way that it was depicted in this movie.

      Example of b: When Katherine Johnson screamed at all of her colleagues mentioning that no one will even drink coffee from the same pot that she does, I said to Bob, “At the end of the movie, Paul Stafford is going to bring her a cup of coffee.” And that’s exactly what happened.

  2. Another thing that kept me from enjoying this movie as much as I would have liked to is that it just highlights how history is written (and taught), and while I’m grateful that stories like this come along to enlighten us, it frustrates me knowing that history is not getting “re-written” to include these newly-brought-to-light stories for future generations.

  3. Throughout this movie, I wondered if Katherine Johnson was really able to calculate as fast as she did or if it was just another dramatization. It’s not that I doubt she could have, my point is that I can’t be sure precisely because of the oft-used dramatization.

  4. Likewise, I have 0-to-10% confidence that Al Harrison actually knocked down that sign with an axe.

  5. Speaking of the Al Harrison character, it took me several scenes before I realized that it was Kevin Costner playing him, which is not an indictment on the film, but an observation of myself.

  6. As actresses, I love Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, and Janelle Monáe.

  7. I really liked how at the end they showed pictures of of Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson with updates of their respective lives.

  8. Bob noticed an anachronism at the very beginning of the movie, when a character noted it was 1961 and shortly after that a cop drove up in a 1964 Ford Galaxie.

  9. The Wikipedia entry for this movie notes these “technical deficiencies,” which I also found interesting, although they didn’t bother me at all, since I’m not a scientist:
    • The re-entry burn is described as moving the capsule from an elliptical orbit to a parabolic descent path. To the approximation in which the original orbit is an ellipse, this is wrong: also, the descent path is an elliptical arc. It appears that this mistake is also present in the book.
    • In one of the Redstone suborbital-jump sequences, footage slipped in of the separation of an Atlas booster ring.
    • Glenn’s launch is seen straight from the Atlas booster-ring separation to the weightlessness of space, cutting out the remaining sustainer burn.
    • It is said that Glenn was cleared for seven orbits, but this was cut short to three due to the heat-shield issue. This is a widespread misconception.[42]

In spite of not loving this movie as much as I wanted to, I did find it informative, and I’m very glad that these heroes and role models from the space race era are now alive in the hearts and minds of those who saw the movie or read the book.

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